Breathing Fire (1991):

Breathing Fire (1991):

“A Vietnam veteran with two kids leads a bank heist that ends up killing one of his war comrades, leaving him to protect the murdered man’s daughter.”

Never did I think a family comedy/martial arts movie would revolve around plastic pizza. Like, toy pizza. Anyway, some bank robbers put some keys to a vault containing Vietnam War gold inside pieces of plastic pizza. Meanwhile, some kids, Tony and Charlie, are training for a state karate tournament.

Well, Charlie's dad gets murdered by the mob after being mailed toy pizza. So, the kids go to live with their Uncle David. He teaches them martial arts, and they try to impress his murdered brother's daughter. Except wait, weren't they already in a karate tournament? None of the karate should be unfamiliar.

Meanwhile, they get made fun of at a dance club, and some mafia guys attack them, where they learn that Tony's dad was part of that mob, and one of his goons was the bully. Also, the dwarf bartenders attack them. I'm not joking! So, then they go to the bully's house, where he's EATING WITH HIS MOM and beat the snot out of him.

Then, he agrees to call the police on the mob. They find the mob boss Angelo, and beat him up, but then decide it's just easier to give him the toy pizza. But, they beat him up, so...they win? You just made it easier for the bad guys to get the gold. Honestly, it all comes back to a kid calling the police. The karate and the crime drama feel really disconnected. None of the karate scenes actually do anything to advance the plot. Also, don't be fooled by the poster: Bolo Yeung is not the main character.

Look, I know someone wanted to follow that Karate Kid money. But, none of the karate here (While fun to watch.) matters. We know they've already trained, but then Uncle David trains them again anyway. It's like they forget that part, just so that we can have more training scenes! They already won a karate tournament! And the pizza plot is just...strange. Who puts keys in toy pizza? I guess it was supposed to be funny.

Overall, I don't think this movie has good enough action to be a good action movie, or good enough comedy to be a good comedy. The plot makes very little sense, and could've easily been a crime drama instead of forcing it into a Karate Kid-type family movie narrative. Definitely skip this one. You aren't missing much. Unless you like pizza jokes, I guess?