Eden of The East (2009):

Eden of The East (2009):

"A compilation of the TV series, Eden of The East."

In this short, 11-episode anime, Akida Takizawa (If that’s his name.) awakes from a daze on the White House lawn naked and holding a gun. What would you do? If you said, “Uncover a plot by a billionaire to rule Japan while going on a semi-romantic adventure with a girl.” you’d be right! Also, if you said that, you probably watch too much anime. (Good job!) This one was oddly fascinating due to the terrorist angle.

You see, in this universe, Japan was the victim of a terrorist attack called “Careless Monday” when 10 missiles were accidentally fired on Japanese soil, and 20,000 people showed up missing. That’s the interesting part to me. Evidence points to him as the terrorist. But, this girl Saki keeps showing this naïve interest in him, that ultimately changes the tone to more mushy romantic comedy.

More to the point, after uncovering this plot to fire the missiles, (Again!) Akida again frames himself and gives himself a new identity rather than arrest the group behind it. Each player in this political game has a cell phone equipped with a 10 billion yen account. Akida discovers he’s one of the players in a game orchestrated by a billionaire to see how individuals, if given power, would save or change the country.

One of the contestants, in fact, is a prostitute who cuts off male members if they displease her. It’s a little unsettling…and it’s all there to make some point about love that’s developing between him and Saki. I have no idea what “cutting off Johnnies” would do to improve the country, but sometimes anime is wacky. Also, love or something.

Anyway, I was more interested in the political plot. The team that keeps track of Akida’s political funds is called “Eden of The East”. His computerized cell phone accountant Juiz will do anything he asks with the 10 billion yen. I just don’t get why he blows it by framing himself again, and evacuating 20,000 people! Again! It’s like he’ll have to do it all over again, including meeting Saki!

Yes, I know how it ends. I’m not gonna get into that. I just think repeating the same thing you did to get framed as a terrorist has to be one of the most baffling decisions ever. But, it’s oddly fascinating because at it’s heart you have an anime that wants to be romantic. So, it’s just this guy who just wants to live life, and full in love, and avoid responsibility. Also, just as a whimsical joke…he commits a terrorist act against Tokyo.

He’d probably be in jail, and lose his girlfriend. But, dang if he didn’t have 10 billion yen and a magic robot in a cell phone! Look, I know it’s fantasy, and love, and he can clear his name with a phone call. But, am I supposed to believe accepting responsibility means framing yourself as an international criminal? All I’m saying is, the minute I saw Akida had machine guns in his closet, and planned to commit terrorist acts because he can’t bring down his psychopathic buddies… if I were Saki, I’d leave. I would fear for my life.

I know it’s technically like a romantic comedy/political satire, but it had real potential up to the point where he takes responsibility rather than arrest the contestants. Is the rest of Japan still getting played like a game show? What happened to the other contestants? It could’ve been a really interesting espionage thriller, but went the romantic comedy route. By the way, none of this explains why he was naked at the White House.

But, the odd mixture of romantic comedy/espionage thriller works, because the suspense lasts about right up until the second-to-last episode. Then, it’s purely and unabashedly mushy. I’d give this series a firm “skip it”. I liked the concepts, and certain parts! But, it just seems like a lot of wasted ideas. And I just don’t think terrorism is a joke. It could’ve been so much more than what it aims for, but the message seems to be take the 10 billion yen and don’t ask questions. The terrorism angle drew me in, but it deals with it far too whimsically!

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021):

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021):

“With Spider-Man's identity now revealed, Peter asks Doctor Strange for help. When a spell goes wrong, dangerous foes from other worlds start to appear, forcing Peter to discover what it truly means to be Spider-Man.”

This one will probably have spoilers. I'm sorry. After being accused of killing Mysterio, Peter Parker wants the world to forget he's Spider-Man. So, he goes to Dr. Strange. Dr. Strange uses a spell that pulls from across the multiverse. Except Peter Parker keeps wanting to change it so that certain people remember him.

Doctor Strange warns him not to do that, because the spell will affect everyone. Anyway, they fight and Spider-Man wins. But, as a consequence, he pulls in every villain across every Spider-Man movie since 2002, starting with Doctor Octopus. Their fight is pretty good, except in the end, he doesn't remember who he is. Same with Green Goblin, Sandman, Electro, and Lizardman.

Each villain is fated to die by fighting Spider-Man. But, this Peter Parker wants to prove he's not a killer, so he tries to cure them in the wizard's dungeon. He accidentally gives each villain advanced technology after attempting to cure Doc Ock. Half the fun of the movie is seeing all the cameos, and the in-universe characters trade in-universe knowledge of Spider-Man.

The film deals with themes of redemption and fate. Can villains change for good? Which, for the most part, is no. But, I won't say anymore than that. Comic book movies have to keep getting made. Overall, a good movie! Funny in parts, especially when everyone is sharing what they know and don't know. Go see it, but you don't need me to tell you that!

Trancers II: The Return of Jack Deth (1991):

Trancers II: The Return of Jack Deth (1991):

“6 years after a time cop returns home from battling future alien zombies, his settled life is turned upside down when a mad scientists creates more.”

Dr. Wardo is creating more “trancers”. (Psychically-controlled alien drug zombies.) Trancers is basically Blade Runner with zombie movie twist. Jack Deth returns to the 20th century investigating why trancers still exist after his first mission. (See here.) He discovers that his wife is alive, but she'll die when they go back to the 23rd century.

Meanwhile, he's living in the 1990s as a married man already, to make things more complicated. They explain again that some technology from the 23rd century allows for stuff to be time-travelled through as long as you've got ancestors “down the line”. In his case, Jack Deth befriended an old drunk baseball player, his ancestor, Hap Ashby. Deth's former police chief inhabits the body of a 15-year-old girl.

They find out that Dr. Wardo is brainwashing mental patients, and addicting them to a futuristic drug, SKROB78. Wardo is building a “trancer farm” just like Whistler, from the first mission. He does it with the help of the Green World cult, and hypnosis. All the while, Jack must save the people, take out Wardo, and possibly his own future wife. There's a good mix of comedy, horror, and action here for a B-Movie. I say check it out!

JUDGE DREDD (1995):

JUDGE DREDD (1995):

“In a dystopian future, Joseph Dredd, the most famous Judge (a police officer with instant field judiciary powers), is convicted for a crime he did not commit and must face his murderous counterpart.”

I totally forgot Rob Schneider was in this as a geeky hacker. Anyway, in the future, people live in oppressive cramped Mega Cities ruled by ruthless law enforcement called “Judges”. After stopping a “block war” in an exciting opening scene that shows off Dredd's “multi-purpose ammunition” (missiles, rapid fire, flare gun, grenade etc.) the movie slows to a crawl as Dredd is accused of a crime using DNA evidence.

Later, Rob Schneider's character and Dredd get shot down in a prison plane. They're kidnapped by cannibal cyborg yokels. This is just good action movie fun. After that, they escape and one of the Judges that sentenced Dredd tells him he's a clone. And also he has a brother, who was his ex-partner. He's also got a reprogrammed war robot. Pretty cool.

Dredd's psychotic clone/brother Rico (who looks nothing like Dredd.) plotted a revolution against the Judges, so he sentenced him. Now, Rico is trying to start a new generation of Judges that obey him, and his DNA (except it's also Dredd's...so how's that work?) If you can turn your brain off, it's a good pew-pew action movie.

Honestly, some of the technobabble hasn't aged well. Dredd gets most things to work by hitting them. Also, I just don't see how Rico's plan was bad, since they established that Judges are ruthless and corrupt. Don't think too hard on it, and it's fun. You just can't help but giggle when Judge Dredd shouts about the “LAW!” Overall, I'd say watch it with some snacks, don't expect it to make sense, and you'll have a good time.

Superman: Doomsday (2007):

Superman: Doomsday (2007):

If you’re expecting Cyborg Superman to show up, or a retelling of “The Death of Superman” comic book storyline, you’ll be disappointed. I was. This version of the story has Superman returning as an “evil clone” created by Luthor. There’s no Steel (Metal Superman!) even! So, basically, if you watched this film, it’s to watch Superman fight Doomsday. That’s it. Once the mystery of the clone is solved, there’s no more dramatic tension left.

Of course, the fight with Doomsday is fantastic. But, that lasts like 5 minutes. Including Doomsday’s arrival. You can tell the fight is intense just by the sounds of each hit. A real super slobber-knocker! Superman is still a man though, and still gets tired. After being dragged through a power station, hit by a subway, and thrown around with a few earth-quaking impacts, Superman starts to tire and stagger, while Doomsday does not. It really is like watching the ultimate boxing match. In the end, Metropolis is basically a crater.

Well, that was fun. But, what happens next? Well, not much. After the funeral, Toyman terrorizes the city (Voiced by John Dimaggio! Really, kudos to the voice casting in this movie! Everyone is spot on!) and it looks like Superman has come back, but after it’s revealed only minutes later that this is a clone under Luthor’s control which he gleefully wails on with Kryptonite knuckles, all the excitement goes away. In the original comic, there was more exploration of what people did to carry on his legacy. This is just a dumb clone plot…I honestly preferred the Evil Superman in Superman 3. At least he was the result of a split personality.

Here, when Evil Superman starts threatening old grannies and kills Toyman, it’s just awkward. I will say they did a good job explaining away early 90s Superman’s awful mullet haircut. His robot dug up his unconscious body, so presumably he didn’t have time to cut his hair. The robot is voiced by Tom Kenny! Anyway, to even the odds against his evil clone, Tom Kennybot gives him a Kryptonite gun, and a black solar suit, making him look weirdly gothic. Real Superman wins, of course. With the help of Lois Lane.

Honestly, I’m not sure how I feel about this movie. It doesn’t really teach anything, and doesn’t really capture Superman’s legacy. The original comic storyline showed many different sides of Superman, some of which were evil, and some of which were good. It just seems to me that lumping all that into “Evil clone with Luthor’s personality.” is a huge waste. Luthor even ends up in the hospital once the clone becomes paranoid. So, he’s more evil than Luthor. It should’ve at least included Superboy, the good side of Luthor’s clone.

Now, a couple things this film's got right in the end, are the music and the voice acting. The Superman theme here begins from space in the intro, as it usually should. But, does that triumphant music really fit the death of Superman? I know, it’s a Superman movie…but with a title like Doomsday…you know what you’re really getting is that last, or should I say first, fight! Secondly, the voice-acting is stupendous, as I said before. And it does deliver on that Doomsday battle!

Seeing one of the most iconic Superman comic book stories reduced to a one-note doppelganger plot is hugely disappointing. But, it does have redeeming qualities, most of which I’ve listed above. (Voice-acting and music, Doomsday, etc.) It succeeds in a strong presentation of weak ideas. Really, it’s all about that Doomsday battle. Oh, and explaining away that mullet! 2/5 stars. Not very super, but makes you expect it will be. And that’s worse! I mean, you might like it, but like Superman, the film nearly dies after Doomsday.

TERMINAL FORCE A.K.A GALAXIS (1995):

TERMINAL FORCE A.K.A GALAXIS (1995):

“A sacred crystal with god-like powers becomes the spoils in an epic battle between the good, the evil and the incompetent.”

Ok, this is a clear case of there are two different movies here sandwiched together. One is a Terminatoresque scifi plot with a space warrior traveling to Earth to protect a human. (Galaxis). Another is a crime movie based on a dopey adventurer trying to protect his treasure, and he busts some gang lords. Guess which one gets the main focus.

If you guessed the Terminator plot... no. They focus on the dopey (incompetent) adventurer named Jed Sanders. Brigette Nielsen is good in her role as Ladera. She's searching for the “fire crystal” before it falls into the hands of the space wizard Kyla. And protect Jed. She's good in the role, and clearly doing her best stiff Schwarzenegger impression. But, they don't give her enough to do. She doesn't even use her gun that much.

Turns out, the “fire crystal” is actually what Jed calls “The Treasure of the Incas”. They couldn't afford the movie Jed was supposed to be in, so instead we're given the backstory of Jed, by him talking to a guy in a bar. Later, Ladera shows up and beats up the gangsters that now want the treasure. Then, Jed is confronted by Kyla, who bodyswaps with Ladera via illusion and tries to seduce Jed into giving up the treasure.

So, Jed miraculously figures out how to fire Ladera's laser weapon, as the villain is bragging to her about his plan. That's it for the scifi plot. No, really. Kyla's just gone now. The rest of the movie is Jed trying to stop Victor's gangsters; with of course, his buff Amazon space warrior protecting him. One special thing about this movie is that future director Sam Raimi appears as “Nervous Police Officer.”

It's free on Tubi, and there are some interesting ideas in it, but I say skip it. It's just too obviously two short films stuck awkwardly together. They don't give the actors enough time or action to establish their characters. What you're left with is vaguely watchable, but it doesn't have enough crime to be a good crime movie, and abandons its sci-fi plot to focus on another bland character.

Honey, I Shrunk The Kids (1989):

Honey, I Shrunk The Kids (1989):

"The scientist father of a teenage girl and boy accidentally shrinks his and two other neighborhood teens to the size of insects. Now the teens must fight diminutive dangers as the father searches for them."

So, Wayne Szalinsky has a machine that can shrink objects down to ¼ of an inch tall. Unfortunately, because of a baseball hitting it, it accidentally shrinks his kids and he throws them out with the trash. He can't see them. They're in the yard now, and with their size, it's a journey of over 10 miles.

Much of the fun here is size-related. They hitch a ride on a bee, they're attacked by lawnmowers, a scorpion, and a sprinkler. The most memorable seen for me is them almost being eaten in a bowl of cereal. Meanwhile, the kids have to make do and sleep in a Lego until they can return to normal size and start worrying about normal teen stuff, like a high school dance.

If you have a chance, watch it on Disney+. It's a fun ride. Some of the green screen effects haven't aged well. But, I like it! It's a larger-than-life sci-fi journey. I'm also a fan of practical effects. So, if you are too, I recommend this one. Give it a watch.