Eden of The East (2009):

Eden of The East (2009):

"A compilation of the TV series, Eden of The East."

In this short, 11-episode anime, Akida Takizawa (If that’s his name.) awakes from a daze on the White House lawn naked and holding a gun. What would you do? If you said, “Uncover a plot by a billionaire to rule Japan while going on a semi-romantic adventure with a girl.” you’d be right! Also, if you said that, you probably watch too much anime. (Good job!) This one was oddly fascinating due to the terrorist angle.

You see, in this universe, Japan was the victim of a terrorist attack called “Careless Monday” when 10 missiles were accidentally fired on Japanese soil, and 20,000 people showed up missing. That’s the interesting part to me. Evidence points to him as the terrorist. But, this girl Saki keeps showing this naïve interest in him, that ultimately changes the tone to more mushy romantic comedy.

More to the point, after uncovering this plot to fire the missiles, (Again!) Akida again frames himself and gives himself a new identity rather than arrest the group behind it. Each player in this political game has a cell phone equipped with a 10 billion yen account. Akida discovers he’s one of the players in a game orchestrated by a billionaire to see how individuals, if given power, would save or change the country.

One of the contestants, in fact, is a prostitute who cuts off male members if they displease her. It’s a little unsettling…and it’s all there to make some point about love that’s developing between him and Saki. I have no idea what “cutting off Johnnies” would do to improve the country, but sometimes anime is wacky. Also, love or something.

Anyway, I was more interested in the political plot. The team that keeps track of Akida’s political funds is called “Eden of The East”. His computerized cell phone accountant Juiz will do anything he asks with the 10 billion yen. I just don’t get why he blows it by framing himself again, and evacuating 20,000 people! Again! It’s like he’ll have to do it all over again, including meeting Saki!

Yes, I know how it ends. I’m not gonna get into that. I just think repeating the same thing you did to get framed as a terrorist has to be one of the most baffling decisions ever. But, it’s oddly fascinating because at it’s heart you have an anime that wants to be romantic. So, it’s just this guy who just wants to live life, and full in love, and avoid responsibility. Also, just as a whimsical joke…he commits a terrorist act against Tokyo.

He’d probably be in jail, and lose his girlfriend. But, dang if he didn’t have 10 billion yen and a magic robot in a cell phone! Look, I know it’s fantasy, and love, and he can clear his name with a phone call. But, am I supposed to believe accepting responsibility means framing yourself as an international criminal? All I’m saying is, the minute I saw Akida had machine guns in his closet, and planned to commit terrorist acts because he can’t bring down his psychopathic buddies… if I were Saki, I’d leave. I would fear for my life.

I know it’s technically like a romantic comedy/political satire, but it had real potential up to the point where he takes responsibility rather than arrest the contestants. Is the rest of Japan still getting played like a game show? What happened to the other contestants? It could’ve been a really interesting espionage thriller, but went the romantic comedy route. By the way, none of this explains why he was naked at the White House.

But, the odd mixture of romantic comedy/espionage thriller works, because the suspense lasts about right up until the second-to-last episode. Then, it’s purely and unabashedly mushy. I’d give this series a firm “skip it”. I liked the concepts, and certain parts! But, it just seems like a lot of wasted ideas. And I just don’t think terrorism is a joke. It could’ve been so much more than what it aims for, but the message seems to be take the 10 billion yen and don’t ask questions. The terrorism angle drew me in, but it deals with it far too whimsically!

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021):

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021):

“With Spider-Man's identity now revealed, Peter asks Doctor Strange for help. When a spell goes wrong, dangerous foes from other worlds start to appear, forcing Peter to discover what it truly means to be Spider-Man.”

This one will probably have spoilers. I'm sorry. After being accused of killing Mysterio, Peter Parker wants the world to forget he's Spider-Man. So, he goes to Dr. Strange. Dr. Strange uses a spell that pulls from across the multiverse. Except Peter Parker keeps wanting to change it so that certain people remember him.

Doctor Strange warns him not to do that, because the spell will affect everyone. Anyway, they fight and Spider-Man wins. But, as a consequence, he pulls in every villain across every Spider-Man movie since 2002, starting with Doctor Octopus. Their fight is pretty good, except in the end, he doesn't remember who he is. Same with Green Goblin, Sandman, Electro, and Lizardman.

Each villain is fated to die by fighting Spider-Man. But, this Peter Parker wants to prove he's not a killer, so he tries to cure them in the wizard's dungeon. He accidentally gives each villain advanced technology after attempting to cure Doc Ock. Half the fun of the movie is seeing all the cameos, and the in-universe characters trade in-universe knowledge of Spider-Man.

The film deals with themes of redemption and fate. Can villains change for good? Which, for the most part, is no. But, I won't say anymore than that. Comic book movies have to keep getting made. Overall, a good movie! Funny in parts, especially when everyone is sharing what they know and don't know. Go see it, but you don't need me to tell you that!

Trancers II: The Return of Jack Deth (1991):

Trancers II: The Return of Jack Deth (1991):

“6 years after a time cop returns home from battling future alien zombies, his settled life is turned upside down when a mad scientists creates more.”

Dr. Wardo is creating more “trancers”. (Psychically-controlled alien drug zombies.) Trancers is basically Blade Runner with zombie movie twist. Jack Deth returns to the 20th century investigating why trancers still exist after his first mission. (See here.) He discovers that his wife is alive, but she'll die when they go back to the 23rd century.

Meanwhile, he's living in the 1990s as a married man already, to make things more complicated. They explain again that some technology from the 23rd century allows for stuff to be time-travelled through as long as you've got ancestors “down the line”. In his case, Jack Deth befriended an old drunk baseball player, his ancestor, Hap Ashby. Deth's former police chief inhabits the body of a 15-year-old girl.

They find out that Dr. Wardo is brainwashing mental patients, and addicting them to a futuristic drug, SKROB78. Wardo is building a “trancer farm” just like Whistler, from the first mission. He does it with the help of the Green World cult, and hypnosis. All the while, Jack must save the people, take out Wardo, and possibly his own future wife. There's a good mix of comedy, horror, and action here for a B-Movie. I say check it out!

JUDGE DREDD (1995):

JUDGE DREDD (1995):

“In a dystopian future, Joseph Dredd, the most famous Judge (a police officer with instant field judiciary powers), is convicted for a crime he did not commit and must face his murderous counterpart.”

I totally forgot Rob Schneider was in this as a geeky hacker. Anyway, in the future, people live in oppressive cramped Mega Cities ruled by ruthless law enforcement called “Judges”. After stopping a “block war” in an exciting opening scene that shows off Dredd's “multi-purpose ammunition” (missiles, rapid fire, flare gun, grenade etc.) the movie slows to a crawl as Dredd is accused of a crime using DNA evidence.

Later, Rob Schneider's character and Dredd get shot down in a prison plane. They're kidnapped by cannibal cyborg yokels. This is just good action movie fun. After that, they escape and one of the Judges that sentenced Dredd tells him he's a clone. And also he has a brother, who was his ex-partner. He's also got a reprogrammed war robot. Pretty cool.

Dredd's psychotic clone/brother Rico (who looks nothing like Dredd.) plotted a revolution against the Judges, so he sentenced him. Now, Rico is trying to start a new generation of Judges that obey him, and his DNA (except it's also Dredd's...so how's that work?) If you can turn your brain off, it's a good pew-pew action movie.

Honestly, some of the technobabble hasn't aged well. Dredd gets most things to work by hitting them. Also, I just don't see how Rico's plan was bad, since they established that Judges are ruthless and corrupt. Don't think too hard on it, and it's fun. You just can't help but giggle when Judge Dredd shouts about the “LAW!” Overall, I'd say watch it with some snacks, don't expect it to make sense, and you'll have a good time.

Superman: Doomsday (2007):

Superman: Doomsday (2007):

If you’re expecting Cyborg Superman to show up, or a retelling of “The Death of Superman” comic book storyline, you’ll be disappointed. I was. This version of the story has Superman returning as an “evil clone” created by Luthor. There’s no Steel (Metal Superman!) even! So, basically, if you watched this film, it’s to watch Superman fight Doomsday. That’s it. Once the mystery of the clone is solved, there’s no more dramatic tension left.

Of course, the fight with Doomsday is fantastic. But, that lasts like 5 minutes. Including Doomsday’s arrival. You can tell the fight is intense just by the sounds of each hit. A real super slobber-knocker! Superman is still a man though, and still gets tired. After being dragged through a power station, hit by a subway, and thrown around with a few earth-quaking impacts, Superman starts to tire and stagger, while Doomsday does not. It really is like watching the ultimate boxing match. In the end, Metropolis is basically a crater.

Well, that was fun. But, what happens next? Well, not much. After the funeral, Toyman terrorizes the city (Voiced by John Dimaggio! Really, kudos to the voice casting in this movie! Everyone is spot on!) and it looks like Superman has come back, but after it’s revealed only minutes later that this is a clone under Luthor’s control which he gleefully wails on with Kryptonite knuckles, all the excitement goes away. In the original comic, there was more exploration of what people did to carry on his legacy. This is just a dumb clone plot…I honestly preferred the Evil Superman in Superman 3. At least he was the result of a split personality.

Here, when Evil Superman starts threatening old grannies and kills Toyman, it’s just awkward. I will say they did a good job explaining away early 90s Superman’s awful mullet haircut. His robot dug up his unconscious body, so presumably he didn’t have time to cut his hair. The robot is voiced by Tom Kenny! Anyway, to even the odds against his evil clone, Tom Kennybot gives him a Kryptonite gun, and a black solar suit, making him look weirdly gothic. Real Superman wins, of course. With the help of Lois Lane.

Honestly, I’m not sure how I feel about this movie. It doesn’t really teach anything, and doesn’t really capture Superman’s legacy. The original comic storyline showed many different sides of Superman, some of which were evil, and some of which were good. It just seems to me that lumping all that into “Evil clone with Luthor’s personality.” is a huge waste. Luthor even ends up in the hospital once the clone becomes paranoid. So, he’s more evil than Luthor. It should’ve at least included Superboy, the good side of Luthor’s clone.

Now, a couple things this film's got right in the end, are the music and the voice acting. The Superman theme here begins from space in the intro, as it usually should. But, does that triumphant music really fit the death of Superman? I know, it’s a Superman movie…but with a title like Doomsday…you know what you’re really getting is that last, or should I say first, fight! Secondly, the voice-acting is stupendous, as I said before. And it does deliver on that Doomsday battle!

Seeing one of the most iconic Superman comic book stories reduced to a one-note doppelganger plot is hugely disappointing. But, it does have redeeming qualities, most of which I’ve listed above. (Voice-acting and music, Doomsday, etc.) It succeeds in a strong presentation of weak ideas. Really, it’s all about that Doomsday battle. Oh, and explaining away that mullet! 2/5 stars. Not very super, but makes you expect it will be. And that’s worse! I mean, you might like it, but like Superman, the film nearly dies after Doomsday.

TERMINAL FORCE A.K.A GALAXIS (1995):

TERMINAL FORCE A.K.A GALAXIS (1995):

“A sacred crystal with god-like powers becomes the spoils in an epic battle between the good, the evil and the incompetent.”

Ok, this is a clear case of there are two different movies here sandwiched together. One is a Terminatoresque scifi plot with a space warrior traveling to Earth to protect a human. (Galaxis). Another is a crime movie based on a dopey adventurer trying to protect his treasure, and he busts some gang lords. Guess which one gets the main focus.

If you guessed the Terminator plot... no. They focus on the dopey (incompetent) adventurer named Jed Sanders. Brigette Nielsen is good in her role as Ladera. She's searching for the “fire crystal” before it falls into the hands of the space wizard Kyla. And protect Jed. She's good in the role, and clearly doing her best stiff Schwarzenegger impression. But, they don't give her enough to do. She doesn't even use her gun that much.

Turns out, the “fire crystal” is actually what Jed calls “The Treasure of the Incas”. They couldn't afford the movie Jed was supposed to be in, so instead we're given the backstory of Jed, by him talking to a guy in a bar. Later, Ladera shows up and beats up the gangsters that now want the treasure. Then, Jed is confronted by Kyla, who bodyswaps with Ladera via illusion and tries to seduce Jed into giving up the treasure.

So, Jed miraculously figures out how to fire Ladera's laser weapon, as the villain is bragging to her about his plan. That's it for the scifi plot. No, really. Kyla's just gone now. The rest of the movie is Jed trying to stop Victor's gangsters; with of course, his buff Amazon space warrior protecting him. One special thing about this movie is that future director Sam Raimi appears as “Nervous Police Officer.”

It's free on Tubi, and there are some interesting ideas in it, but I say skip it. It's just too obviously two short films stuck awkwardly together. They don't give the actors enough time or action to establish their characters. What you're left with is vaguely watchable, but it doesn't have enough crime to be a good crime movie, and abandons its sci-fi plot to focus on another bland character.

Honey, I Shrunk The Kids (1989):

Honey, I Shrunk The Kids (1989):

"The scientist father of a teenage girl and boy accidentally shrinks his and two other neighborhood teens to the size of insects. Now the teens must fight diminutive dangers as the father searches for them."

So, Wayne Szalinsky has a machine that can shrink objects down to ¼ of an inch tall. Unfortunately, because of a baseball hitting it, it accidentally shrinks his kids and he throws them out with the trash. He can't see them. They're in the yard now, and with their size, it's a journey of over 10 miles.

Much of the fun here is size-related. They hitch a ride on a bee, they're attacked by lawnmowers, a scorpion, and a sprinkler. The most memorable seen for me is them almost being eaten in a bowl of cereal. Meanwhile, the kids have to make do and sleep in a Lego until they can return to normal size and start worrying about normal teen stuff, like a high school dance.

If you have a chance, watch it on Disney+. It's a fun ride. Some of the green screen effects haven't aged well. But, I like it! It's a larger-than-life sci-fi journey. I'm also a fan of practical effects. So, if you are too, I recommend this one. Give it a watch.

RED NOTICE (2021):

RED NOTICE (2021):

"An Interpol agent tracks the world's most wanted art thief."

Red Notice is free on Netflix, so I figured why not? It's a pretty good action-heist flick. There's a police officer John Hartley (Dwayne Johnson), a conman Nolan Booth (Ryan Reynolds) and a thief called The Bishop. (Gal Gadot). Each one is trying to get the golden eggs of Cleopatra. Pretty formulaic structure here though.

John Hartley is trying to catch The Bishop and sets up the action scenes. Gal Gadot comes in and sets up the sexy/heist scenes. She's always one step ahead. Ryan Reynolds is comic relief who makes fun of Dwayne Johnson's character as he's fooled through Russia, Spain, Egypt, and other exotic locales. He really enjoys seeing Agent Hartley in a bind, and makes it harder for him at every turn.

It's not a bad movie, it's just a little formulaic. Ryan Reynolds is in full wise-cracking mode. You want Gal Gadot? Well, you get Gal Gadot: Sweet talk, and krav maga. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is as game as ever to bonk some heads, and not afraid to laugh at himself. Plus, there's a few surprises in store. If you can stomach the setups, watch this one...there's a couple big twists. No spoilers!

Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991):

Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991):

“Dar is a warrior who can talk to the beasts. He is forced to travel to Earth to stop his evil brother from stealing an atomic bomb and turning their native land from a desert into, well - a desert.”

This one is a bit different! The evil wizard Arklon travels through time to 1991. There, with the help of Lyranna, he hopes to get a neutron bomb from a testing facility in L.A. Lyranna pronounces it “Ellay” like it's part of their mystical world. The rest is an action-comedy as Dar The Beastmaster fights through shopping malls to the testing facility to stop Arklon.

Dar is guided through the 1990s with the help of Jackie Trent. It's good satire. People just keep mistaking Arklon for a really eccentric rich person. It's not the serious action high fantasy of the original. But, it is good for a few laughs. Dar still has his beasts: the tiger Ru, the ferrets Podo and Kodo, and the eagle Sharak.

At one point, Jackie asks Dar which ferret is Kodo and which is Podo. He responds simply “Yes.” It doesn't really matter! Marc Singer as always is great as Dar trying to take down his evil wizard brother. If you go into it with the mindset that it's a comedy, I recommend it! But, if you want the serious Beastmaster films, skip it. I like that they tried something different.

Flight of The Navigator (1986):

Flight of The Navigator (1986):

“In 1978, a boy travels 8 years into the future and has an adventure with an intelligent, wisecracking alien ship.”

David chases his brother through the woods in 1978, and wakes up 8 years later. His house is owned by someone else. Time has passed, but he hasn't aged. The scariest thing about this movie is that none of the NASA scientists who later take the kid explain what's going on.

The scientists want to examine all the star charts that the UFO put inside his brain. Meanwhile, no one explains this. He only has like one friend inside NASA, and she can barely explain to him what a music video is. He's never seen one before. After that, the alien voice in his head beckons him back to the UFO to complete his mission.

Once inside the UFO, the Trimaxian alien explains his mission to collect data on other lifeforms in space. The kid is “the navigator”, who must pilot the ship. Along the way, they teach each other how to laugh, dance, and listen to music. David calls the Trimaxian “Max”, and as they become friends and laugh, he sounds more like Pee Wee Herman.

After their adventure together, Max returns the kid to the '70s. As a souvenir, he lets him keep a little alien from its biological zoo. It's a genuinely good movie. If I saw it as a kid, I would've freaked out. But, the freaky parts help you appreciate the fun and wonder that comes later. Check it out if you can.

WONDER WOMAN: BLOODLINES (2019):

WONDER WOMAN: BLOODLINES (2019):

“Wonder Woman tries to help a troubled young girl, Vanessa, who has fallen in with a deadly organization known as Villainy Inc. headed by Dr. Cyber.”

Well, another one where there's a ton going on! Steve Trevor arrives on Themyscira followed by parademons. Wonder Woman believes his arrival means that an attack is coming, so she leaves the island and comes to modern day Man's World to help. One of the things I like about this one is how Diana comports herself like an ancient Amazon.

For example, she apologizes to a woman for crooks “hampering” her day, and says to her host family's daughter Vanessa that her “sleeping chambers” were quite similar to hers, just with servants. Vanessa feels slowly neglected by Wonder Woman as her popularity grows; so, jealous of her, she joins Villainy Inc.!

The rest of the quest is to save Vanessa and stop more monsters and villains from attacking. Vanessa becomes Silver Swan with the help of Dr. Poison and Dr. Cyber. I'm impressed with this movie's villainess roster. Cheetah, Giganta, Dr. Poison, the Minotaur, and even Medusa all show up. Wonder Woman can punch through walls, and throw giant pillars, so the fight scenes are good...there's always the lasso, too!

After she defeats Silver Swan, they have to figure out how to get back to Themyscira. There they can use the aptly-named “purple healing ray” to cure her. But, everyone who leaves the island magically forgets where it is! They work out the location, but there is a major betrayal in the team. Overall, the film does a good job showing Wonder Woman's powers and code of honor. I liked it!

It's kind of like an extended Justice League episode. With more villainesses than probably in the average Wonder Woman movie! It kind of feels like they were riding high from 2017's Wonder Woman success, which is a good thing. I'm always up for more Greek myths and superheroes. I feel like animation can show things that just look ridiculous in movies, like invisible jets, no matter how good your CGI is.

I think this is worth watching, if only because it throws a lot at you. At times, it's not afraid to have fun, but you're never bored either way. It's a nice mix of action-comedy. If you wanna see Wonder Woman at full power, I'd recommend this movie. Give it a watch, if you can!

Injustice (2021):

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“On an alternate Earth, the Joker tricks Superman into killing Lois Lane, which causes a rampage in the hero. Superman decides to take control of Earth, Batman and his allies will have to attempt to stop him.”

Superman is tricked into killing a pregnant Lois, Metropolis blows up, and Superman loses his grip on humanity. Which is fine, when it exists to make Superman the bad guy in a fighting game. But here, it just makes him look really insecure. I suppose it's to show that he's slowly losing his innocence. First, he forces world leaders to sign treaties. Then, illegally imprisons protesting superheroes.

Like all narratives where Superman loses control, he eventually allies with villains; this time it's Ra's Al Ghul. Soon, he's eye-lasering children who are in harm's way to protest his rule. Some heroes die, and some villians too. But, it hardly reminds me of it's comic book/videogame counterpart. Batman hacks Cyborg. Nightwing is in there.

At first, it's cool when Superman goes crazy and shows his true powers. But after that, it's just him slowly becoming evil and killing/imprisoning heroes like a paranoid jerk. Harley Quinn goes good though, so that's kinda like the comics; pretty cool. And she knocks out Green Arrow. Mr. Terrific is pretty good in it, and I don't even remember him in the game.

Overall, it's pretty good, for what it lacks in plot. Where it tries to be high-minded, and address issues like freedom vs. security, I think it falls a little flat because...well, it's an action animation based on a fighting game comic book. (Red Son at least had alternate historical context to explore ideas.) They need to fight scenes, so it all just boils down to a fight. Enjoy it with snacks, maybe. But, once was enough for me.

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

“In a post-apocalyptic wasteland, a woman rebels against a tyrannical ruler in search for her homeland with the aid of a group of female prisoners, a psychotic worshiper, and a drifter named Max.”

Well, technically this is Mad Max 4. I love the Mad Max series. The Earth has been blown to a wasteland, and people have to overcome punks and warlords to survive. Honestly, this one isn't much different. Max has been captured by Immortan Joe's War Boys, and is being used as a “Blood Bag” strapped to the hood of a war car.

He's saved by Imperator Furiosa and her gang of warrior women. They're headed to a mythical “Green place” where the Earth can still grow. Furiosa and Max never really get along. But, that's just the world. Survival is everything, and they're all fighting not to be slaves.

Along the way they're pursued by Immortan Joe's commanders. The Bullet Farmer, The Doof Wagon, and of course the War Boys. They have their own car-based religion, and everything is based on the resources that Immortan Joe controls.

The car battles and chases are top-notch. Really, there's no point where this movie slows down. Everything is so strange and gruesome to look at, it really catches the eye. Whether it's the mask on Mad Max's face, or the flamethrower-guitar player on the Doof Wagon, or Furiosa's amputated arm, there's always amazing visuals, weapons, and stunts.

I'd recommend watching this one any way you can. It's high-speed, no mercy action! Mad Max is a good guy, but more in the anti-hero sense. Furiosa is the same, and gives it right back to Max (She calls him “Fool”.) But, they are still united in this adrenaline-driven war car world by their own need to fight for their freedom. If you wanna get the blood pumping, give it a watch!

Promising Young Woman (2020):

Promising Young Woman (2020):

“A young woman, traumatized by a tragic event in her past, seeks out vengeance against those who crossed her path.”

This is a pretty good revenge flick! What an emotional roller coaster. Carey Mulligan plays Cassie, a barista/hitwoman who spends her time killing scumbag guys who try to take advantage of drunk women. Her best friend was abused and killed at a drinking party. One day, while working at her coffee shop, she meets Ryan, who's a friend of Al Munroe, the guy that killed her friend Nina. She starts what appears to be a cutesy journal, but it's a hit-list of the people she needs to take down to get revenge.

Meanwhile, Cassie goes on a few dates with Ryan. She begins falling for him right as she's on the trail of Al's friend Madison. After trapping her with a drunk guy and giving him her hotel key, she finds out the party Al will be at for his wedding, and moves to strike. But, it turns out that Ryan has a disturbing old video on his phone that might be further evidence, and endanger their relationship.

This movie has a lot of twists and good action. But, it's also really funny. The humor is ironic, and it's a really deep mystery until the end. Because it's recent, I won't give spoilers. Each one of the deaths is satisfying, even when unexpected. A few people reform after meeting Cassie, but the ones that try to get away, you don't feel sorry for.

It's on HBO. If you have time, I recommend it. It's a well-paced revenge comedy with a few dark laughs thrown in. Each victim is fun to watch. Cassie's signature move is to act drunk, and then spring on the victim. So, that's always fun to watch. Yeah, if you have time, give it a watch. It's got plenty of surprises.

Sword Art Online (2012):

SWORD ART ONLINE (2012):

"In the year 2022, thousands of people get trapped in a new virtual MMORPG and the lone wolf player, Kirito, works to escape."

Sword Art Online is what happens when you let evil people design videogames. You see, on its launch date the players of the virtual MMO Sword Art Online are trapped inside the game with no way to log out, other than beating the game. (As the evil game creator informs them.) Soon after joining a guild however, our hero, Kirito, decides to beat the game solo. But, is that even possible?

But you see, Kirito has one major advantage. He was a beta tester in Sword Art Online, so he knows where to go to get good equipment, and what monsters to defeat. Well, I guess the game maker trapping 6000 players in a battle royale helps cut down on competition, too. But, he quickly rises through the ranks, defeating dungeon monsters, bosses, even participating in duels. He becomes the game’s notorious loner, The Black Swordsman. Half the fun is watching him battle every boss nearly to the death. If his HP drops to 0, he dies in real life as well as in the game.

For me, the fun is seeing the game elements mix with real world elements. For example, some people decide to play it safe and stay in the game. Others form guilds exclusively for getting back to real life and beating the game, and others are just trolls and player-killers. Things get even more interesting though, when he meets Asuna. She is a high-level guild member who keeps dragging him along on quests.

When Kirito meets her, she scolds him for falling asleep, and not beating the game. Well, they start to hang out, and start a relationship. Soon another question arises. Should they stay in the game, where they have happier and healthier lives, or risk it all to get back to the real world? Where are they even, in the real world? Indeed, it seems at first like they’d be happier in the game. What are they going to do? Meet IRL and marry?

Now, it’s a great show (25 episodes) with lots of twists and turns, sometimes out of nowhere. I like how it brings to life virtual reality issues…such as dying, which is usually no problem in a game…and flips them around by adding real world consequences. The line between the game and reality becomes very blurry. It helps build a world in which you’re invested, but also raises the question: Can/Should he give it all up? Now, Sword Art Online IS his life, and his virtual girlfriend is his girlfriend with whom he has a another life. There’s almost no real reason to go back IRL.

All in all, I like Sword Art Online. It raises good questions about escapism (For example, wouldn’t Kirito rather be the famous Black Swordsman, than some random teen?) the nature of god in the game maker, and the nature of society in how people interact with others, build societies, and guilds. The only thing that’s not very realistic is that there’s only one trolling guild, Laughing Coffin. Thank goodness!

But, overall I give Sword Art Online 4/5 stars for developing an engrossing, beautifully-animated world that raises questions about the value of escapism, with great plot twists! Check it out, if you get the chance. Oh, and don’t let evil people with God complexes design videogames. That seems to be the overarching moral. Ha! But, seriously, it’s a great show to watch!

The Monster Squad (1987):

The Monster Squad (1987):

“A young group of monster fanatics attempt to save their hometown from Count Dracula and his monsters.”

5 kids team up take on 5 classic monsters! As a kid, I thought the funniest scene in this movie was a kid kicking Wolfman in the “nards”. But, now I think my favorite scene is when some kid's dad shows up, and just shoots Dracula's vampire bat form! They spend all that time building up the kids, and the Dad just shoots Dracula!

Now, on to the plot. Van Helsing tried to rid the world of monsters 100 years ago, but the opening crawl says “They blew it.” So, now the monsters are in the 1980s US, wreaking havoc. Luckily, a kid who loves horror movies lives next to a German guy who can read Van Helsing's old book that will banish the monsters.

Some good monsters here. You got Frankenstein, Dracula, Wolfman, The Creature from The Black Lagoon, and The Mummy. The Mummy just unravels once a kid sticks his leg bandage to a stop sign with an arrow. Wolfman is just shot by a kid wearing a leather jacket, and of course Dracula is just shot by the kid's dad. Frankenstein teams up with the kids after befriending the little girl in the squad.

It's the little girl who reads the German magic spell. She's helped by the German guy. (Credited as “Scary German Guy”.) All in all, I liked this movie, and it was a pretty fun way to end spooky season. There's a lot of jokes that would probably be considered inappropriate for a kid's movie today, including a running gag where they have to ask one of the squad girls if she's a virgin.

But, if you turn your brain off, and remember it's “PG for the '80s”, it's a good time. I still couldn't help but wonder: If some of the monsters can just be shot, why did they need the magic? Oh, well. I guess that's the funniest part to me. It's free on YouTube. Give it a watch!

OUTLANDER (2008):

OUTLANDER (2008):

“During the reign of the Vikings, Kainan, a man from a far-off world, crash lands on Earth, bringing with him an alien predator known as the Moorwen.”

This is a movie about a space marine who crashes into medieval Norway, carrying an alien who can shoot lasers and impale people with its tentacles that everyone mistakes for a dragon. The marine, Kainan, loses his gun and vows to track down the alien. With Iron Age tech, he reasons it's easier to trap it.

But now, he is trapped in Norse politics. At first, they think he's a spy for the Franks. John Hurt, who plays the Viking chieftain listens to his story. They don't believe him at first, but after hunting the beast with him, they believe it's more than a bear. Kainan parties with the Vikings, and becomes friends with Freya, the king's daughter.

Now, this is where he gets mixed up. Freya is due to marry Wulfric, who Freya says is a tyrant. Thus, Freya entrusts Kainan, not him, with the king's sword. All the while building this “dragon trap”, he has to fend off enemies that Wulfric has made too. They suspect his tribe attacked, when it was the alien. But, Wulfric is too quick to think with his sword.

Thinking with his mind and heart, Kainan tries to trap the beast and bring the people together. This is justice for having brought the monster into their world. I really enjoyed this mix of hard sci-fi and mythical fantasy. It's free on Youtube movies. If you have time, give it a watch!

Cruella (2021):

Cruella (2021):

“A live-action prequel feature film following a young Cruella de Vil.”

When your villainess is a puppy-skinning madwoman, I say lean into it. But here, she's just a fashionista/thief navigating 1970s London's gala scene. She even has dog companions. This is a pretty good movie, but as a whole it feels really messy, and takes entirely too long to get to the fancy costume battles.

It's a heist movie/comedy/prequel/reboot, but you don't really watch for the plot. You watch for the costumes: the leather outfit, the red dress, the classic Dalmatian get-up, even a garbage truck dress... All very flashy, and eye-catching. I realize they're going for a franchise though. Emma Stone alone could make it work, but just barely.

You see, in this version, it's a revenge plot against her boss who was kinda mean to her in the fashion business. Also, because her boss (The Baroness) is an evil(er?) Disney villainess, she killed her mother. But, I guess in the long run, it only matters that she was kinda mean to Estella (later Cruella.) while she was working her way up the fashion ladder to steal from her.

Acting kinda mean is just how Disney shows class issues. She's poor until she discovers the magical world of fashion. Then, she becomes Cruella, and magically outperforms her mean old boss with the help of friendship, and a boss attitude. It's just that nobody wants to watch mopey Cruella. People wanna see more of her getting justice! I can watch Emma Stone just about anytime, but I really thought the “mean boss” origin was a bit of a reach.

That said, I still do recommend the movie, because I like the 1970s style and soundtrack. I just prefer the old origin story as opposed to the new one that drags on for so long before the action. Watch it with snacks, and enjoy the fancy costumes, though. Then, it's pretty good. If you can stomach the mopey parts. I like the old evil puppy-skinning Cruella, but this one could grow on me, if they make the next movie a little more evil.

Young Frankenstein (1974):

Young Frankenstein (1974):

"An American grandson of the infamous scientist, struggling to prove that his grandfather was not as insane as people believe, is invited to Transylvania, where he discovers the process that reanimates a dead body."

Here's something a little different. It's a comedy-horror from Mel Brooks. A young Dr. Frankenstein (pronounced Frankensteen at first.) tries to avoid his grandfather's legacy of creating monsters. But, finds himself drawn back in when he receives an invite to Frankenstein's castle in Germany.

Much of the humor here is physical comedy and wordplay. “Walk this way!” Igor (pronounced EYE-gor) the hunchback says, and Dr. Frankenstein starts walking like him. Later, when they dig up a brain Igor picks up an “Abby Normal” brain. Frankenstein shows off his creation in a silly dance number that always cracks me up.

Then, when he's booed and starts being chased by the mob, the doctor decides to switch brains with the monster (for reasons given through adult innuendo.) The monster gains his intellect, and the doctor gains the monster's enormous...body parts. (To the surprise of his beautiful assistant Inga, played by Terri Garr.)

You have to give credit to everyone in this movie, but it wouldn't be the same without Gene Wilder as Young Frankenstein. He can go from cold man of science to raging maniac in a second, proclaiming such lines as “My grandfather's work was doo-doo!” with the utmost gravitas. Anyway, if you have time this spooky season, give this classic a watch. It's great fun!

EVIL OF DRACULA: (A.K.A. JAPANESE DRACULA) (1974):

EVIL OF DRACULA: (A.K.A. JAPANESE DRACULA) (1974):

A teacher comes to a school where Dracula is principal! I have a couple thoughts on this one. It's a fun watch. They seem to save most of the scary bits for the end. Most of the soundtrack is smooth jazz. It's very Japanese and very 1970s.

So, Dr. Shiraki is pursued by The Principal's undead wife, and then later, Dracula. On top of this, one of his students falls in love with him. She reacts strangely some ink blot tests, and then starts bleeding. Most the action takes a while to get to. But, if you can stick with it, I recommend it! If you like to watch people get chased by vampires while cavorting to smooth jazz, this is a fun Halloween treat.

Lucy (2014):

Lucy (2014):

“A woman, accidentally caught in a dark deal, turns the tables on her captors and transforms into a merciless warrior evolved beyond human logic.”

I've wanted to talk about this movie for a long time. It's very good, even if its thesis rests on the 10% brain myth. That's just an excuse to give Lucy superpowers, have her talk about evolution, and philosophy. It's a very French action film, in that it introduces meaning-of-life-questions into a shoot-em-up. But, let's get to talking about it.

Average Lucy is going about her day as a tourist when she's kidnapped by Chinese gangsters and forced to ingest CPH4, a new drug. Meanwhile, Morgan Freeman plays Dr. Norman, who's giving a speech on evolution and the brain. While Lucy is expanding her brain, she finds that she can move objects, and heroically escapes her kidnappers, and gets to a hospital.

She can understand Chinese now, which isn't how the brain works at all, but, sci-fi. Turns out that while the drug is enhancing her body, it's also killing it, and evolving beyond the need for a body. All this is while the mafia and European authorities are after her. It's a race against time as Lucy guns down criminals and stops the authorities with her mind. Then, she has to fly to Paris, and meet Dr. Norman in 12 hours.

On the plane, she starts to transcend her physical body, and become little swirling, morphing bits, but with her powers, she remains corporeal. Once in Paris, she unlocks her final abilities, and builds a supercomputer to record her knowledge. Her last superpower is time travel, as time is the only thing connecting her to physical matter.

There's a lot to digest here in 89 minutes. we have time travel, psychic abilities, and even some evolutionary psychology, all wrapped in a fast-paced action movie. Scarlett Johansson's steely-eyed femme fatale presence does most of the dramatic heavy lifting as she evolves from ditzy tourist to omniscient god, and so does Morgan Freeman's authoritative voice.

I highly recommend this film. It's not really science, but it's great sci-fi action. It gives you some philosophy to think about, while also having stylish action. Watch it anyway you can! You at least won't be able to look away, since everything happens so fast.

VIRTUOSITY (1995):

VIRTUOSITY (1995):

“When a virtual reality simulation created using the personalities of multiple serial killers manages to escape into the real world, an ex-cop is tasked with stopping its reign of terror.”

Virtuosity is free on YouTube for now, so I figured, what the heck? Might as well watch it. I'd like to mention a few things for wider cultural context first. I think in scifi (ostensibly what this blog is about, along with cultural issues.) you have more leeway with what can look dated, because it's more about imagination. That said, it's a very good cyberpunk crime thriller.

Denzel Washington plays Parker Barnes, the only cop who's gotten close to taking down Sid 6.7, an amalgam program of the worst killers, meant to train cops. One day, Sid tells his programmer that he wants out. The programmer tricks another researcher into constructing him an android body, and bringing the villain to life.

Now, Parker chases him through pretty much a landscape of 90s media culture. A techno club (where Sid takes hostages.), a store, a UFC ring, and a TV station. During the chase and shootout, we learn that one of Sid's personalities is the terrorist Michael Grimes, who killed his wife and daughter. Using this, Barnes tracks him down to the TV station.

Sid constructs a “Death TV” game show and takes hostages. Barnes realizes since Sid is a VR training program, he only enjoys playing the game with his favorite opponent. So, he accepts his showdown challenge. Meanwhile, a programmer's daughter is being held hostage with a bomb, just like when his wife and daughter were killed.

After Sid and Barnes fight, the policeman takes out Sid's program, and makes him believe he actually won, sticking him back inside VR. He diffuses the bomb. Cops run over Sid's program with a car. One thing I will say is, I like how the programs look. They're like little orbs. Both Russell Crowe and Denzel Washington add an air of drama to the action.

That is to say, I enjoyed the performances by both Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. Denzel is usually always a good action hero. Russell Crowe is intense and wacky in this early role. Lastly, I think its amazing what they could do with 90s CGI; essentially screensaver graphics. It's cool to imagine a world where VR and digital technology could immediately become physical.

I'd recommend the movie because it explores cool scifi ideas, stars two talented actors, and is free on YouTube. I can see influences of William Gibson and the Neuromancer trilogy in the writing. (I don't think Idoru was written yet, but it dealt heavily with VR. Seriously, check out those books.) In the end, I think it was an awesome crime movie from a time when we didn't yet know what the Internet would become. Check it out.

PUNISHER: WAR ZONE (2008):

PUNISHER: WAR ZONE (2008):

“Frank Castle, known as the Punisher, ruthlessly demolishes organized crime, but it starts an even bigger war.”

Punisher goes against Jigsaw after he kills his don. Jigsaw was Billy The Beaut, and after Punisher shot up the place, his face ended up in a glass grinder and he becomes Jigsaw. He recruits his old criminal buddies, including “Loony Bin Jim” to take down Punisher. Meanwhile, Frank Castle himself expands his weaponry, finds more friends (Micro and Carlos.), and finds a family to protect.

I dunno. The gunfights were pretty good. Especially in the beginning. It won an award for best stunts in 2010! It's just that in terms of comic book movies, almost anything Batman pre-Dark Knight trilogy looks prehistoric. The whole plot point of Jigsaw being granted immunity because he has information on a terrorist attack seemed a little dated. It is nice though, to see lower stakes in a comic book movie after years of interconnected plots and cosmic enemies.

I will say for as gritty as this was, it wasn't without a sense of humor. Jigsaw in particular looks like he's having a blast. He sort of reminds me of Jack Nicholson Joker. A little more loud and goofy than modern villains. He'll get right up in your face and laugh at the good guys. Although, Punisher being the character he is, he's just sort of unmoved, and just stoically shoots, especially when he blows up the parkour gang boss with a rocket launcher...he's not impressed.

Overall, I'd say the movie was ok, but it reminds me of just a basic mob movie. If you removed the Marvel Comics element, it'd be indistinguishable from any action movie of the decade. Iron Man was just getting into gear though, so you can't really blame it at this time. Things like parkour and Homeland Security immunity unfortunately date it instantly. I'd say skip it, unless you're already a Punisher fan.

Dead Space (1991):

Dead Space (1991):

"A deadly virus attacks the crew of a Saturn space station."

Here's a weird film. When a flesh-eating virus nearly kills everyone in a space station, a scientist (Bryan Cranston/Dr. Frank Darden.) gets the idea to combat it with a metamorphic virus that can shapeshift and take on biological forms.

Meanwhile, a shipwrecked mercenary (Commander Krieger/Marc Singer.) and his robot companion help investigate the murders going on at the station, trying to restore power to his own ship. Great use of puppets, and music.

My only complaint is, they keep shooting at the creature, after saying several times that bullets can't hurt it. Other than that, a decent sci-fi horror/mystery. It keeps you guessing how they'll defeat the creature. Watch it if you have time.

CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982):

CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982):

“Conan! What is best in life?”

“To crush your enemies. See them driven before you. And to hear the lamentations of their women.”

This is a classic sword and sorcery flick with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Conan's village is attacked, and then he becomes a slave, and then an arena fighter. He serves some time in armies, and then he meets a succubus who leads him to find Thulsa Doom, the snake cult leader responsible for his suffering. He finds a sword in a cave, and runs off to find him, and reclaim his kingdom.

Along the way, he meets friends like Valeria The Valkyrie, a wizard, and the archer Subotai. It's a pretty good adventure. Some of the action is pretty surreal. Conan is crucified at one point, and bites a vulture. Thulsa Doom turns into a snake. Good swordfights near the end. It even has some comedy. Like when Conan steals some robes to sneak into the snake cult, or plants his face in a bowl of mush.

Highly recommended for fantasy adventure lovers. Just keep in mind it's not PG-13. Worth a watch though to see Arnold tear through some bad guys before he was Terminator. This also means that when Conan speaks, it's usually a manly growl or an epic line! (See above quote!) Well, what are you waiting for? Go watch it however you can!

NINJA KNIGHT THUNDER FOX (1988):

NINJA KNIGHT THUNDER FOX (1988):

“A private detective uses her considerable martial arts skills to seek revenge after an organized crime syndicate murders her beloved sister.”

Another kung fu B-Movie that's only good if you have a good sense of humor. There's clearly two movies spliced together here. That's why our main characters never meet. One character is a detective named Brad. He has his office decorated in Coca-Cola signs and Sylvester Stallone posters to give you the impression he's in America, and not Hong Kong. His mission is to collect evidence that Bonnie's sister was kidnapped.

Now, Bonnie just kicks butt. Her sister was kidnapped, and she goes out to a bar, beats up all the goons with huge meat-slapping effects, and finds out where their base is. She then takes a motorbike and a harpoon, and just tears up the place. She even wears a Rambo-type headband. Though she has a hilarious habit of choking bad guys right after she demands: “Answer my questions! Where is she?”

You'd think that Bonnie would be the one to get magic ninja powers with all her skills. But, you'd be wrong. They gave the ninja magic to Brad. Who's on a completely different mission. Twice he transforms himself into a ninja, and starts backflipping and catching bullets. It's good stuff, if they could ever decide what weapons Brad actually uses. Some shots he has a sword, then a gun, then nothing.

Overall, it's pretty good for a cut-and-paste kung fu film. If anything, it's unintentionally funny. Bonnie's scenes are legitimately action-packed. Brad scenes have Halloween store ninja costumes and magic. It's free on Tubi, so I recommend it. Give it a watch if you can.

Iron Mask (2020):

Iron Mask (2020):

“Early 1700: Cartographer Jonathan Green (Jason Flemyng) from Viy (2014) is back to map the Russian Far East. He's forced on to China, where he confronts the Dragon Master et al. The iron masked Russian Czar escapes the Tower of London to a Russian ship.”

So, there's basically two films going on here. One is a basic supernatural wushu (historical Chinese fairytale.) and the other is the action movie between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jackie Chan that American audiences were sold. Well, they fight for five minutes. They aren't even the main characters.

In this world, tea is actually the healing tears of a mystical dragon. An evil witch kidnaps and replaces the Russian czar with an imposter, while Johnathan Green is trying to map China. Are you following? Good. Of all people, Arnold plays a British guard. There are some funny moments, but ultimately it pivots to being just another wushu film, with some line about how the lead actress is Jackie Chan's daughter, the rightful empress who has to fight the witch, and reclaim the throne.

By itself, it's an alright movie. I just feel it's a bit bait-and-switch. It feels like two movies. Arnold and Jackie come back to end the film. Jackie explains to Arnold that the dragon is everywhere. Usually, I like wushu films for their effects. But, I think here they just ran out of money to show the dragon again. I would recommend this film. But, just bear in mind, it's a little convoluted.

Lily C.A.T. (1987):

Lily C.A.T. (1987):

“The expendable crew of a corporate space vessel must stop a murderous shape-shifting alien organism that somehow got on board.”

“The corpses have disappeared, leaving everything - even their underwear – behind!” Dular says, after his crew members have been eaten by an alien virus. I mean, it is a good mystery, but probably ruined by early anime dubbing. All the dialogue sounds so choppy and fast as they struggle to sync their lip movements. Other than that, it's pretty much John Carpenter's The Thing mixed with the futuristic setting of Ridley Scott's Alien.

See, there's a cat brought on board by Nancy. Quickly, everyone around the cat dies, and there are reports of an alien virus getting through the air ducts. What's discovered later is that the virus was carried by the cat because humans are “expendable”. So, the Syncam Corporation (who owns the ship.) is probably just evil. Why else kill an experienced crew with a Computerized Animal-shaped Technological robot? (Cat, get it?)

Anyway, you should probably skip this one. But, but I did find it enjoyable in terms of action. The mystery is given away in the title. The choppy English dubbing is way too distracting, and the plot doesn't actually make much sense, other than they're trying to mix Alien and The Thing. Just enjoy the crew getting picked apart by the alien/C.A.T.

The 1980s were an ambitious time for Japanese anime, especially as it expanded overseas and took on American influences. It is at least enjoyable if you turn your brain off, and accept it as a relic of its own time. There are interesting ideas sci-fi discussed such as cryogenics, relativity, and how the crew only ages 1 year every 20 Earth years. But, these details never pan out to anything, and only a few members survive as it rushes to horrific ending.

DEATHSTROKE: KNIGHTS AND DRAGONS: THE MOVIE (2020)

DEATHSTROKE: KNIGHTS AND DRAGONS (2020):

“Assassin Slade Wilson leads two lives: a relentless killer known as Deathstroke and a family man. Can he atone for the sins of the past-or will his family pay the ultimate price?”

This one is a doozy! It's an adult animation (read: cussing, partial nudity, and violence.) featuring Deathstroke from DC comics. The story is about him trying to protect his family from learning that he's a super-powered assassin. But, that goes out the window when he's attacked at home by the HIVE, a mercenary group.

They steal his kid, Joseph, and re-name him Jericho, subjecting him to the same military experiments as Deathstroke. It's said that while Deathstroke is a handgun, so to speak, Joseph is a nuclear weapon. He has psychic abilities on top of his fathers superpowers and healing factor. The HIVE plans to use him to plot terrorist attacks, and control world leaders.

Meanwhile, Deathstroke uncovers that the HIVE leader is someone from his past. Joseph even sides with them for a while, before uncovering his abuse. A motif that's repeated via a bedtime story is that Deathstroke sees himself as a knight, protecting his family against dragons. In the end, Joseph believes he's still the knight, and fights beside his father against, among others, Lady Shiva.

It's pretty good for an adult animation in 2020. I'm not spoiling too much if I say I'm dissatisfied with how they defeat Lady Shiva. Overall, they cram a lot into 89 minutes, but it's a good and bloody story. It's an origin story, a betrayal, and a future story all at once. Give it a watch if you don't mind the violence!

JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE (2017):

JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE (2017):

“Four teenagers are sucked into a magical videogame, and the only way they can escape is to work together to finish the game.”

I'd like this movie a heck of a lot more if it stopped winking at me to tell me what videogames are. I get that there might be people in the audience who don't understand, but every action beat is interrupted by explaining what skills are, what characters have what skills, what lives are, etc. It's like playing Super Mario Bros and every time before you jump, you have to ask: “Wait...I can jump that high?” Well, no. But, your character can. We understand this.

That said, the actors do a great job with what they're given. Four high school students bodyswapped into highly charismatic videogame characters is a good comedy-action setup. Unfortunately, most the humor is based around them forgetting their special skills and abilities as characters. Conversely, most the action is based on them remembering their in-game skills and abilities.

I guess it worked in the original Jumanji (1995) because board games all have different rules, and you had to read what happens on every square. Videogames have established conventions. Which are explained here. (They have to return a jewel to a jaguar mountain, and say “Jumanji!”) But, every time the videogame characters explain something like who has what skills and weaknesses/strengths, it's like the actors are saying: “Hey! We're acting!”

Now, that said, this film is loaded with star power. That alone is half of what makes it fun to watch. I'll watch anything with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in it. It's just a shame that most the action boils down to “I can't do this, I'm an awkward teen! Oh, wait. Yes, I can! I'm in a videogame.” I mean, Jack Black and Kevin Hart are funny as popular teens turned into support characters, but that's just the reverse joke.

So, do I recommend watching it? No. It's a fun movie, but all the action beats and jokes are one-note. It's a movie that, in my opinion, thrives on star power. The movie's videogame design robs any action scene of tension, since we know they've got 3 lives and special skills for any confrontation. The comedy is so ham-fisted, if they cast anyone else in it, I wouldn't watch. But, because they did get Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Dwayne Johnson, and Karen Gillan, it suddenly becomes slightly enjoyable. That's a testament to their abilities and star power more than the movie itself.

ROBOCOP (1987):

ROBOCOP (1987):

“In a dystopic and crime-ridden Detroit, a terminally wounded cop returns to the force as a powerful cyborg haunted by submerged memories.”

When officer Alex Murphy gets his limbs blown off by drug dealers, OCP (Omni Consumer Products) rebuilds him in a robotic body. He takes his revenge against the criminals of Delta City a.k.a. Detroit. OCP buys the police force and attempts to persuade the public to let it take over the city. But, something is very wrong about this plan, and Robocop is on the case.

Murphy begins to rediscover his humanity after his righteous rampage, and catchy one-liners. (“Your move, creep.”) He soon discovers the drug dealers might not be all they appear to be, as he accesses more of his OCP directives. His directives are: 1.) Serve The Public Trust, 2.) Protect The Innocent, 3.) Uphold The Law, and a 4th forbidden directive.

Wonderful action, good mystery, and a theme of what it means to be human and use technology. This film is an absolute classic. I'd recommend it to anyone who isn't squeamish. It is ultra-violent. But, I feel like the violence here serves a greater purpose. Definitely give it a watch if you can. It's free on Tubi!

If PG-13 is more your style, check out my post on Robocop 3 here: https://bit.ly/3lULR7c.

Harley Quinn and Batman (2017):

Harley Quinn and Batman (2017):

“Batman and Nightwing are forced to team with the Joker's sometimes-girlfriend Harley Quinn to stop a global threat brought about by Poison Ivy and Jason Woodrue, the Floronic Man.”

Harley Quinn and Batman team up to stop Poison Ivy. Batman's former sidekick Nightwing finds Harley working as a waitress in a cosplay-based restaurant, and figures she knows where Ivy is. Harley says she wants to just live a normal life. Eventually they tickle each other, and decide to work together.

Now, usually the DC movie universe doesn't like to make fun of itself. But, this is a Harley Quinn comedy. So, it's much more slapstick and fart jokes than the usual Batman fare. I kind of liked it. They have fun. They sing karaoke before they find out where Ivy is, thanks to a tip.

Turns out, Ivy is in Louisiana working with Floronic Man to turn all life into plants. Harley pleads with Ivy, and is able to convince her to stop. But, she can't stop Floronic Man. She tells Batman that if he's just made of plants, they should be able to just burn him. (In comically whispered dialogue.) Nightwing and Batman kiss her cheek, and that's all folks.

It's pretty good for a DC animated movie. Especially for a DC comedy. You definitely have to be in the mood for this one. I don't know. Watch it with some snacks. Be prepared for fart jokes. If you like Harley Quinn, and have a good sense of humor, you should enjoy.

War of The God Monsters (1985):

WAR OF THE GOD MONSTERS (1985):

“A young reporter is writing a story about the theories of scientist who believes dinosaurs still exist. When monsters suddenly appear and cause destruction, the doctor and journalist must find a way to save the world.”

A scientist, Dr. Kim, is convinced that prehistoric monsters exist and are coming to punish mankind for their sins. A lot of the film is just a woman reporter showing up at the doctor's house to try to get a look at his research. Then, his daughter has a “dream” that monsters attack, Then, they actually do!

There's some good puppet work here, and a good variety of monsters. There's a triceratops monster that makes monkey noises! A fire-breathing robot dragon with laser claws! A flying chicken-headed godzilla thing! A giant starfish bat! Then, there's a horned monitor lizard, and finally, an Eastern dragon that swims.

In one of the strangest climaxes I've ever seen...the monsters just kind of...go away? They fight, stuff blows up, then the military comes in while the main family hides. The daughter says things like she's sorry, and finally the father says he was correct in his theories. It's not exactly the best writing.

That said, all that makes sense when you find out that this is actually two movies stuck together. It's footage from an original Korean movie, stuck together with scenes from Ultraman. Several shots are reused or flipped around. It's not a bad movie, if you can stomach an hour of a Korean family drama. The second half of the movie, monsters attack and stuff blows up. Watch it on Tubi, if you like B-Movie monster action.

TURBO KID (2015):

TURBO KID (2015):

"In a post-apocalyptic wasteland in 1997, a comic book fan adopts the persona of his favourite hero to save his enthusiastic friend and fight a tyrannical overlord.”

I wanted to like Turbo Kid a lot more than I did. It's a deliberate parody/homage to apocalyptic sci-fi of the 1980s like Mad Max. With water being scarce and sucked out of humans by an evil corporation, it's even got heavy shades of Tank Girl. The problem is that none of the characters feel developed, despite a great 1980s atmosphere.

The main character, The Kid, feels bland and unmotivated. They give you an origin story right in the middle of the movie after he meets the big villain Zeus. There they explain that Zeus killed The Kid's mother. They should have led with that, and had it fuel his character, instead of introducing us to him as a shy comic book geek obsessed with Turbo Rider comics.

The only interesting character here is Apple. She wants to be Turbo Kid's friend, and teaches him how to fight and be a friend. They begin to care for each other. She's the heart of this movie. Literally, if they didn't have Apple, I would have no reason to care for this movie, because the main character is such a depressed geek loner.

That's the problem with this movie. It tries so hard to make you identify with Turbo Kid, that it forgets what kind of 1980s homage it's trying to be. Sweet romance scenes are immediately followed by splatterhouse gore. Action moments that should feel big, are only sold short because the same beats keep happening. Without spoiling, I'll say scenes with any heart are robbed of importance because they keep mishandling Apple: 4 times.

It'd maybe be different if Turbo Kid led with its apocalyptic revenge story. As it is, the movie tries to sell you on the idea that he's a comic book nerd who incidentally finds a laser-shooting glove. I get it, but the one who really carries the movie is Apple. She makes him go out, and make friends and adventure, instead of living life as a lone scavenger...and he never really grows out of that, except for when they show his origin story in the middle of the movie.

I love homage movies to the 1980s. The sets are cool, and invoke the time period. But, the action is too mixed, and I didn't really connect with any characters besides Apple, because she is the only one who values friendship, heart, and battle skills. The only thing Turbo Kid has is a laser glove, and a comic book obsession...which might be cool if that's what you like, but it doesn't drive the plot.

As much as I wanted to like the atmosphere, I just couldn't get over how mixed the movie was in message and tone. Is it a horror movie? A coming-of-age flick? An apocalyptic action movie? An adventure? Beyond saying “Here's an alternate 1980s!” the film doesn't really seem to care what it is, or what happens in it. It's free on Tubi, but I have to say skip this one.

DEATH RACE 2050 (2017):

DEATH RACE 2050 (2017):

"Five long decades after Death Race 2000 (1975), in the overpopulated United Corporations of America, the annual Death Race is about to begin. This time, Frankenstein is up against no-nonsense challengers. How many points will he score?"

This is more or less a soft reboot of Death Race 2000 with a new cast of racers. It keeps the original overpopulation/game show setup. The new racers are Jed Perfectus, a genetically-engineered racer, Minerva, who is a rapper, an AI named Abe, and stepping in for the Nazi gimmick of the original (Matilda The Hun in 1975.) we have Tammy The Terrorist.

It's pretty much the same film. The good news is, if you liked the old one, you'll like this. However, for some reason, some of the characters just don't stick out for me. The rapper is a one-note joke. As is Dr. Creamer/ABE (the ole “Girl has sex with robots joke”.) It's a schlocky B-Movie action comedy. Jed Perfectus is no substitute for young Sylvester Stallone.

I recommend it for being a modern take on the classic movie. Malcolm McDowell is in it as The President. Give it a watch if you have time. Turn your brain off and enjoy the stylized game show hyper-violence. A good tribute, but the original was still better.

DREDD (2012):

DREDD (2012):

“In a violent, futuristic city where the police have the authority to act as judge, jury and executioner, a cop teams with a trainee to take down a gang that deals the reality-altering drug, SLO-MO.”

Well, this one starts off strong with a chase scene. But, Karl Urban needs to work on hiding his New Zealand accent. He still pronounces “America” as “Ameriker” in the first scene. Karl Urban plays Judge Dredd this time. He does okay. The Judges are executioner cops in the post-apocalyptic Mega-city. They have cool weapons, and don't hesitate to use them. One of the first guy's heads explodes with an explosive shot.

After that, we find out one of the guys was on a futuristic drug called slo-mo. Slo-mo is distributed by Mama (Played by Lena Headey.) Because she owns this part of the Mega-city, she covers it in metal, and no one can get out. A bounty is put on Dredd and his psychic partner's head.

Luckily, the psychic partner can find out where Mama is. The rest of the movie is a story of betrayal (But, not by the partner.) and a bloody shootout. There's a surprise for Mama. It's an ok movie. Especially a good intro with the chase scene. But, it did just make me want to watch the original 1995 movie. I'd say give this one a watch if you have time.

THE KARATE KID (1984):

THE KARATE KID (1984):

“A martial arts master agrees to teach karate to a bullied teenager.”

So, I guess because of the success of Cobra Kai, Netflix re-released The Karate Kid movies. I haven't watched it since I was a youngster...and I'm pretty sure that was a rental. So, I thought...what the heck? Let's see if this holds up. I liked Cobra Kai, and like karate movies.

But, the first thing I noticed about the movie was, it's mostly a family movie. Which is ok, but it means the karate doesn't start until Miyagi defends Daniel. Miyagi's scenes are really good, and his “training” (a.k.a. doing chores.) Daniel for the tournament mostly demonstrates the philosophy of karate vs. punches and kicks. Something which is lost in the Cobra Kai series later, but the show makes fun of anyway.

Johnny Lawrence on the other hand, has good punches and kicks. We don't really see him train with Kreese; Johnny only leads a dojo session once. But we know Cobra Kai's philosophy (“Strike first, strike hard, no mercy!”) and that makes him a bully. He tries to control his girlfriend, and get his gang to beat up Daniel. It's Miyagi who decides the the karate tournament is the best way to win Cobra Kai's respect.

If Daniel wins at the tournament, then he won't have to fight, because he'll have earned respect. So, we enter the tournament. A couple things. Daniel enters the tournament as a black belt, because Miyagi says he is. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't happen today. Second, you have to love the 1980s ending to this movie. Daniel wins after the power ballad. Roll credits.

All in all, it is a great movie. But, I definitely see it differently as an adult than as a kid. Which I guess is the point. It's a family movie. It really made me think about how necessary the sequels were, and the Cobra Kai series. As a kid, I just thought “Wow, karate!” As an adult, I just thought “Wow, Kreese and Miyagi are pretty messed up.”

I mean, sure Johnny's a bully, but he's a kid. He's just acting cool. Kreese is crazy. Miyagi, as kind as he is, has no problem bending rules for Daniel and struggles with implied alcoholism and PTSD. Pat Morita was a great actor, and he really added a lot of heart to this movie, I won't argue that. But it does make me realize how flawed even he was, which is I guess why the Cobra Kai series works.

So, would I recommend watching it? It depends how much you like family movies. It was good to watch with fresh eyes again. But as it is, I think Cobra Kai gives you enough clips to catch up, and is more emotionally complex. Basically, Cobra Kai is for adults, but Karate Kid is great...if you're a kid.

THE TERMINATOR (1984):

THE TERMINATOR (1984):

“A human soldier is sent from 2029 to 1984 to stop an almost indestructible cyborg killing machine, sent from the same year, which has been programmed to execute a young woman whose unborn son is the key to humanity's future salvation.”

The Terminator is one of the greatest sci-fi action films of all time, mostly thanks to Arnold Schwarzenegger as the killer robot. Kyle Reese is sent to protect Sarah Connor from his rampage. And the cyborg doesn't spare anybody. He shoots up punks, anyone named Sarah Connor, cops, and even tracks Sarah down to a hotel where she thinks she can be safe. But, she's not, because the Terminator will never stop until she's gone.

Time travel shenanigans ensue though here. You see, if Kyle Reese wasn't sent back from 2029, then the leader of his resistance wouldn't be born. It doesn't really work out. But, oh well, the action is good. Plus, it gave us the greatest sequel of all time, Terminator 2: Judgment Day. The cyborg comes back to protect John Connor, who will lead the resistance against the robots.

If there's one thing that dates this film, it's not just the robot puppets, it's the fear of machines and computers. I wonder if a film like Terminator would be as effective today. But, Arnold Schwarzenegger makes such a good monster killing machine that it's hard to look away. Definitely watch it, but for the great action scenes. Everything else is kind of stuck in time. But, I like that.

Kung Fury (2015):

Kung Fury (2015):

"In 1985, Kung Fury, the toughest martial artist cop in Miami, goes back in time to kill the worst criminal of all time - Kung Führer, a.k.a. Adolf Hitler."

In this action comedy set in the 1980s, a martial arts expert named Kung Fury/cop time travels to kill Hitler. He resurrected himself with kung fu and shot up a police station through a phone. With the help of his friend Hackerman (played by Swedish musician Mitch Murder), he hacks through time to stop Hitler from becoming a supreme kung fu expert.

But, first he travels to far back in time, and meets Thor. The Norse God and his Valkyries join the fight against the kung fu Nazis. This is a fun little tribute/parody to the scifi action films of the 1980s. Pure fun action. It's the ultimate Good vs Evil battle! It's not too long. Give it a watch when you have time.

SUPERMAN: RED SON (2020):

SUPERMAN: RED SON (2020):

“What if baby Kal-El's rocket landed, not in Kansas, but in the Soviet Union? That is the premise of this Elseworld's tale from DC Comics.”

There's a lot going on here. This is an alternate world based on the 2003 comic by Mark Millar where Superman was raised in the USSR. He kills Stalin after he finds out about the gulags. He beats back capitalist Bizzaro created by the US with Lex Luthor. He defeats the Green Lanterns as they are recruited in the Cold War, and single-handedly wins the Korean War for the Communists.

So, in this world, Kal-El is still the same person. He still cares about helping people, only he believes the Soviet system is the way to do so. Even with his vast power, and big heart, he finds that he can't control people the way he'd like to in the name of equality. He fights Batman over this. In this version, Batman survives the gulag.

To add to the list of heroes making a cameo, he courts Wonder Woman on a diplomacy mission. Eventually, she withdraws when she finds out that with the help of Brainiac, he's been turning people into robots to make them more agreeable. Superman discovers that the villain soon can't be trusted. This leads to a showdown between Brainiac and US President Lex Luthor.

All-in-all, this is a fantastic showcase for a DC what-if scenario. The comic is a bit more detailed, but I highly recommend this one for a watch, however you can. It really shows the ability of comics and animation to transport us to other worlds. Plus, I like Jason Isaac's faux Russian accent. In Soviet Russia, Superman cartoon watches you!



READ MY SUPERMAN:RED SON COMIC REVIEW HERE: https://bit.ly/2XmZ4xg

FREE FIRE (2016):

FREE FIRE (2016):

“Set in Boston in 1978, a meeting in a deserted warehouse between two gangs turns into a shootout and a game of survival.”

When an arms deal goes wrong, the movie turns into a shootout. It doesn't slow down. One of the gang members realizes another gang member beat him up the day before, and that the gangs supplied the wrong weapons. From there, all hell breaks loose, and they start shooting. Chris is one group leader. Ord is the other guy, played by Armie Hammer.

Brie Larson plays Justine, an intermediary between both groups, and Chris's girlfriend. But, she holds her own too in the shootout. The entire movie is a giant shoot out in the warehouse. Everyone has their own team to protect. Nearly each character has a secret backstory or agenda. Who will survive?

Pretty exciting action movie stuff. It has a nicely contained '70s crime plot, plenty of guns, and lots of stylish violence. If you're in the mood for a shoot-em-up with a good runtime, I'd say check it out. Great mystery too. It's free on Netflix.

Willow (1988):

WILLOW (1988):

"A young farmer is chosen to undertake a perilous journey in order to protect a special baby from an evil queen."

This 1988 fantasy adventure classic follows a dwarf (Nelwyn) who must take a human (dakini) baby into a dark castle and defeat the evil queen Bavmorda using magic. It's a great adventure story with great special effects and characters. Willow has to learn to have faith in himself to become a great sorcerer. And his companions have to learn to fight for things bigger than themselves.

It is both unusual and familiar at the same time. Familiar in that it's a 1980s Campbellian hero quest, with shades of Tolkien, Conan The Barbarian, and Star Wars. Unusual in that the way they used effects and world-building to show shapeshifting and different monsters and characters, is completely unique and mostly practical.

Yes, it is good vs. evil. Faith vs. doubt. If you're into edgy, this isn't it. Some of the monsters might be scary to kids, but that's about it. It may be a simple hero's journey, but I find fantasy like that very captivating. Plus, Val Kilmer's great. He plays Madmartigan, the warrior. A lot of people remember Val Kilmer as Batman. To me, he's Madmartigan. Anyway, a good fantasy flick with some unique twists. Check it out!

The Killer Robots! Crash and Burn (2016):

The Killer Robots! Crash and Burn (2016):

“Robot mercenaries are sent on a mission to activate a machine that will bring about a new age of enlightenment.”

This movie is about 4 robot arena fighters who will be freed if they upload a punchcard freeing all other robots from the control of the vicious Lord Mot. One thing I will say about this movie, it doesn't have the best special effects. Most are basic green screen and puppet work. Most the robots are just guys in silver facepaint.

If you can get used to the low-budget look, it's pretty fun. They've got robots blowing up all over the place, and saving the universe. At one point, it just cuts to a live-action man playing guitar with a chicken. It's definitely odd. But, if you're in the mood for cheesy sci-fi, grab some snacks and watch it. Free on Tubi.

Mantera (2012):

Mantera (2012):

"About a boy, Azman, who stumbles upon a nano-tech glove which can transform his motorbike into body armor."

A clueless nerd from Malaysia trains with an ancient organization after he's accidentally mailed cyborg technology. It's ok. Some of the CGI is jerky and unusual. It kind of looks like an early 00s FMV videogame that doesn't make me nostalgic. The good guys are the Alliance of Light, giving them the unfortunate acronym AOL. I mean, it's like Last Starfighter combined with half-baked Transformers. It's free on Tubi, but you can skip it.

PASSENGERS (2016):

PASSENGERS (2016):

“A malfunction in a sleeping pod on a spacecraft traveling to a distant colony planet wakes one passenger 90 years early.”

Jim (Chris Pratt) is on a luxury colony spaceship when it wakes him up 90 years too early. At first, he has fun, lives off the ship's supplies and plays basketball, but after a while, his loneliness becomes too much. After discussion with a robotic bartender, he decides to wake up one passenger.

Considering others, he ultimately selects Aurora (Jennifer Lawrence). He lies to her and tells her that the malfunction woke them both up. They begin a romance, but Aurora eventually finds out the truth. And that the malfunction is sending them hurtling towards the sun!

From here, it becomes an ordinary space thriller. I do appreciate the movie investigating old school sci-fi ideas like isolation, but that's all it addresses. Aurora's character development is cut short in favor of a big action-packed climax. There was some controversy about this, so whether or not you enjoy the movie will depend on whether you want an old school sci-fi adventure, or need closure on ethical problems presented in the film.

For my part, I was just glad to see a good space adventure. You just have to accept that it's more about what isolation does to people in space than if Jim should've told Aurora the truth. Their romance is almost incidental: a consequence of isolation.

I will grant though, that the disaster plot seems out of left field. Perhaps if Jim's big lie were really taken to task, we could almost have a different, more interesting movie. But, as it is, I still liked it as a space thriller. Watch it if you can.

Lawnmower Man (1992):

Lawnmower Man (1992):

"A simple man is turned into a genius through the application of computer science."

An intellectually disabled man has his intelligence boosted through VR technology. He soon takes revenge against those who bullied him. He gains telekinesis and telepathy. Eventually, he plots world domination through the computer world.

It sort of takes a hard turn turns scifi horror when Jobe gains his powers. VR looks dated now, but the ideas are still relevant. Like how much bullying someone can take, and how the tables are turned when Jobe has power. I liked it. Check it out. It's free on Tubi.

WORDS BUBBLE UP LIKE SODA POP (2020):

WORDS BUBBLE UP LIKE SODA POP (2020):

"A meeting and romance starts between two people with communication issues - a boy who wears headphones and uses haiku poems, and a shy girl who wears a mask and only does online videos."

This movie is about Cherry, a haiku poet with social anxiety, and his social influencer love interest Smile. Smile has buck teeth (“yamazakura”) and is shy. Cherry is a good poet, but is shy because of his voice. He prefers to write. They're brought together by an old man, who wants to hear a long lost record one last time.

Overall, it's just a cute romance anime about teens with bright animation. The word cute (kawaii) is thrown around a lot. It's pretty good for a Netflix anime, if you want something light-hearted. They overcome their challenges to help an old friend. There's only one part I didn't like, but I won't nitpick. It's on Netflix, if you have time.

Stroszek (1977):

Stroszek (1977):

"In Berlin, an alcoholic man, recently released from prison, joins his elderly friend and a prostitute in a determined dream to leave Germany and seek a better life in Wisconsin."

Stroszek is part morality tale and part absurdist comedy. It's tragedy lies in that we want these misfit characters to succeed. But, after an agent confiscates his pet chicken, Stroszek and his band of misfits confront the darkness of the criminal underworld and American life. A Werner Herzog classic! If you can stomach the suffering and madness that is his trademark, give it a watch. It's actually darkly humorous. Free on Tubi.