Dungeons and Dragons: Chronicles of Mystara (2013):
“Dungeons and Dragons: Chronicles of Mystara is an enhanced re-release of Dungeons and Dragons: Tower of Doom and Dungeons and Dragons: Shadow over Mystara. Besides the obvious differences like gamepad support, leaderboards or internet multiplayer, the most important enhancement is the addition of house rules: after beating the game once, players can activate optional rules like items with infinite durability, the player character heals when killing an enemy or a time attack mode. After solving challenges like killing a certain number of enemies, the player unlocks bonus items like concept drawings. This version also introduces infinite continues and a few additional video modes which simulate things like scanlines or CRT monitors.”
- IMDB Summary
For what it is, Chronicles of Mystara is pretty good. It's a DnD-based beat-em-up. It combines two arcade games. Tower of Doom (1993) and Shadow Over Mystara (1996). There is no real character creation to speak of, only some pre-made characters. Tower of Doom only had Cleric, Fighter, Elf, and Dwarf. Shadow Over Mystara adds Thief and Magic-User (Who, for DnD, should be a given! But, it's a beat-em-up first. Maybe they couldn't decide what spells to put in.)
The Magic-User can use spells, which are basically clear-screen attacks. There's fireball. Acid Cloud, Ice Storm, Magic Missile, among others. Otherwise, it's a pretty basic beat-em-up arcade game with neat ways to use items that sort of resemble classic DnD. Because Elf / Dwarf are classes, and there are no real armor/weapon mechanics, it's sort of a weird mix of 1st Edition and 2nd Edition DnD.
Characters that don't have spells can use items like healing potions, arrows, hammers, burning oil flasks (which create fire walls, which you need for monsters weak against fire.) You need keys to unlock some chests. Sometimes, if your character is strong enough, you can break them open. You can also buy items in shops after some quests. The game also has special loot that can only be collected in-game, and Chronicles of Mystara tracks what items you've found.
Additionally, Chronicles of Mystara has challenges apart from its 2 main games. So, along with keeping track of your items, it can also track unique achievements unlocked. They start simple and get harder, in classic arcade fashion. Everything from play through a game to kill a specific monster 300+ times.
The monster designs are pretty cool. Some look straight out of the Monster Manual. You've got your basic goblins, harpies, kobolds, and gnolls. But, then you've got really specific monsters like Displacer Beasts, Ice Salamanders, and Owlbears, Dark Elves, etc. You need to keep oil on you if you don't have fire spells to defeat Ice Salamanders and trolls (who can only be killed by fire.)
All in all, it's a pretty good DnD-type experience, combining what's great about DnD fantasy with Capcom beat-em-up mechanics. Plus, you get two games in one. Sure, it's not going to replace pen-and-paper 5th or 6th Edition anytime soon. But, it's nice for a classic DnD fix, if you like beat-em-ups. And it's perfect for multi-player! I say check it out.
Let's get this out of the way: Hayao Miyazaki's “The Secret World of Arrietty” is definitely just an adaptation of The Borrowers. But it has enough Miyazaki countryside charm to stand out. It's about a tiny family who lives by stealing things from humans. But one day, a human discovers Arrietty while she's out gathering sugar. Sho (Shawn in the English dub.) is a sick child who has some form of heart condition. I think Arrietty is like an inch tall. It's a cute movie, and not too long.
After discovering her, the sick boy wants to help Arrietty. He brings her sugar, and out his mom's old dollhouse for them to live in. But, it makes things worse for her family...because more humans notice them. Being so small, almost everything is a threat to the Borrowers. I like how it plays with perspective. A needle is a sword to Arrietty. A cat is like a dragon. One drop of tea fills her little teacups.
There are some gross scenes I thought, but that's because the Borrowers (Arrietty, and her parents, Homily and Pod.) are so small. People are giants. Bugs are huge and scary. Crickets, pillbugs, spiders...gross. But, Arrietty can fight them off with a needle. Humans are by far the biggest threat to the Borrowers though. The boy's caregiver Haru (Hara in English.), kidnaps Arrietty's mom, and calls pest control. So the last part is them saving her, and moving out.
Arrietty's parents warned her to stay away from Sho, even though he needs rest, and so won't be much trouble. Pod hurts his leg while out looking for Homily, and discovers a wild Borrower named Spiller who says they can live with him on the other side of the river. So, Arrietty and Sho say a tearful goodbye, as the Borrowers float down to the other side of the river in a teapot.
Overall, it's a cute movie about an unlikely friendship and unintended consequences. It doesn't overstay its welcome, has loads of charm, tons of playful perspective shots, and a good story. Plus, Amy Poehler and Will Arnett voice Arrietty's parents in the English dub. I always liked them. Arrietty is voiced by Bridgit Mendler. Anyway, give it a watch if you can.
Rooster Teeth, the company that made RWBY, closed recently. I wanted to talk about it. I really only joined Rooster Teeth fandom around 2015. I was certainly aware of Rooster Teeth, because Red vs. Blue premiered in 2003, when I was in high school. But, that was before it had a plot, and it was just kind of friends messing around with HALO assets to make a comedy show. Things changed when Monty Oum was brought in. Monty Oum was a wunderkind animator.
He made things like Dead Fantasy and Haloid (HALO vs. Metroid). What made these shows work was always that they were kinda familiar, fast-paced, and action-packed. Dead Fantasy was Final Fantasy, but not really. Haloid was Metroid vs. HALO, but not really. Along with Monty Oum's focus on fast-paced rhythm-based action (with a background as a dancer.) Monty Oum's style of animation was ultimately a victory of re-branding that re-vitalized Rooster Teeth, and gave it direction.
Now, under Monty Oum, Red vs. Blue became an action show, where it was HALO, but not really. It had a plot and characters, and action scenes. After the success of HALO, but not really, Monty Oum was given the green light to develop RWBY, which was Final Fantasy 8, but not really. The costumes, weapons (Everything is a gunblade.), and plot were straight from the 1999 videogame, but not really.
Parts of media like Kingdom Hearts, fairytales, plus shows like Once Upon A Time and Snow White and The Huntsman can also be seen as influences on RWBY, with a color scheme and elaborate rhythm-based team battles, and attacks. Several fairytales had become public domain in 2012, which made them easy to adapt for the small business. RWBY's popular team-based color schemes allegedly came to Monty in a dream, probably from working on Red vs. Blue too much.
So, I joined right in the middle of all this, by watching RWBY. FF8 was my favorite Final Fantasy, so I picked up the plot immediately. I was all about RWBY for a good while. It was like revisiting one of my favorite games, with a fairytale twist, as was popular at the time. The success of RWBY was unprecedented, spawning a fandom. Unfortunately, Monty Oum fell into a coma in 2015 just before the completion of Season 3. (Seasons of RWBY are called Volumes, like fairytale books.)
Season 3 is widely considered the best Volume of RWBY, as it is a tournament arc featuring many different teams and battles, showcasing the fighting mechanics that made RWBY unique. Additionally, it would open up the world, going beyond locations visited in the previous volumes and introducing the second half of the plot with new villains and character development for Team RWBY. Perhaps most importantly, this meant that Volume 4 would be the first without Monty Oum, as his coma proved fatal.
Volume 4 introduced Salem, the new big bad villainess who was secretly controlling everything. The characters slowly discover that magic is real, and that they do in fact live in a fairytale-type world where they are to act as guardians for sacred relics, before Salem can get to them. This was an okay Volume. It's basically the second half of FF8, but at least it left you wondering what could happen.
Volume 5 splits up each individual member of Team RWBY to give them their own arcs. I understand the reasoning behind this, but I felt like they hadn't developed much as a team first. Yang recovers at home and then tries to find her mother, Ruby joins a new team, Weiss is imprisoned back at her home, and Blake takes a boat trip home to confront her misguided past.
At least they reunite by Volume 6's end. I hung in for all the new characters and villains. The writing on the wall for RWBY came, I think, by Volume 8...when COVID happened. It seemingly changed some direction of the show. Instead of the fast-paced action scenes, I felt like now we have cramped action that takes place in one static location, opting for flashes and bangs in place of dynamic movement, often resolved quickly by Ruby's eye powers or one big move, despite earlier establishing the series' love for gun kata (Kung Fu with guns.), and the characters' skills with their own unique weapons.
Also, earlier the series had made references to the fact that the Kingdom of Atlas was basically Germany. It combined its education and military, and chose a different side in the series' Great War. Even Weiss Schnee from Atlas uses a German name. So, the twist that Ironwood actually wanted to defend Atlas by himself by forsaking dust and the other Kingdoms, didn't shock me at all. If it was supposed to be shocking, it failed, since it was telegraphed all along if you know Final Fantasy and history. Final Fantasy is always setting up Magic vs. Technology.
Since the heroes use dust (magic), it's logical to me that the antithesis of that would be embodied in Ironwood, who favors militarism and technology. But, even this distracts from the main plot, which was supposed to be now defeating Salem. Although, I understand they were trying to create villains for every continent in the show's world, with Ironwood being the villain for Atlas. I was disappointed that they couldn't come together already to defeat Salem.
Time was running out. We were now at Volume 9 (2023), and they took a detour once again to The Ever After, a place where fairytales are real. Yang lost her mechanical arm and Ruby lost her weapon. Weiss keeps insisting there's no way they're in a fairytale. It's pretty much at this point where I watched, but lost my former interest. Magic and fairytales had already been proven real. Ruby had already proved herself as a leader. It was a neat visual detour, but there was no thematic reason to reset characters' motivations, other than that's all the writers knew to do absent the guidance of Monty Oum.
I will say I liked the inclusion of BMLB (A fan-created romance between Team RWBY members Yang and Blake.) being absolutely confirmed in this Volume. But, otherwise, it seemed to retread familiar ground, and reset characters' motivations. The Rooster Teeth merger with Warner Bros forced new projects to be focused on instead of the main show. On top of this, dramatic scandals rocked the once-seemingly benign company, including pay disputes and harassment charges. But, it ultimately survived.
I've already written about RWBY: Ice Queendom, the Japanese anime version of RWBY. In addition, Rooster Teeth focused on cross-over comics and movies with DC's Justice League, which again, while interesting both covered familiar grounds. By this point, if you didn't already like RWBY, you weren't going to watch another origin story and re-introduce the team. They staked everything on the success of RWBY and Batman, but Batman doesn't need RWBY.
You see, what made the show work was always that it was Final Fantasy, but not really. I say that as a fan of RWBY. It was not perfect, but it was the little animation studio that could. If you add Batman to it, or bigger more recognizable entities, in my view, it kills the idea that these characters were home-grown successes. Rooster Teeth had fans who had watched it grow from a small web animation studio, to become something original in spite of being a victory of re-branding Final Fantasy characters with twists. The merger with a giant corporation killed their home-grown success myth.
What will happen to RWBY now that Rooster Teeth is going under? I don't know. Probably, it will just move to a Warner Bros. Company. Maybe Cartoon Network will pick it up, or Crunchyroll. It was a wild ride while it lasted, Rooster Teeth. Everyone involved will probably just come back under a new company. I just hope they can finish RWBY's story, and give it a good ending.
"Dual Blades is a fighting video game published by Metro3D, Inc. for the Game Boy Advance. It is a fighting game with single player and player versus player modes. It features a "power combining system" which was very new for the genre at that time. This system allows players to create their own fighting style.”
Fighters throughout time come to fight for the Dual Blades, a weapon that will grant immortality. First off, despite the power combining system, you pretty much just have light attack (thrust) and heavy attack. (Slash.) So, it all comes down to your weapon and character, as this is a weapon-based fighting game. My favorite character so far is Shin, the feudal Japanese magician who uses a spear. He gets an ending where he challenges the best fighters throughout time again, essentially just relaunching the tournament.
Others include Brandon an American vagabond with a sword, Efe, an Ottoman warrior with a scimitar, a female ninja named Kunonichi, a beastman, a sorcerer, a Russian witch, and the last boss who is unplayable. He's an immortal Roman named Alpe Ren, who can move super fast and switch instantly between “weapon mode” and “armor mode”. The only thing comparable that you as a player can do is choose between a defensive or offensive fighting style before the fight.
For a Game Boy Advance title, it does some advanced things for the time in 2002. I don't really think there's much reason to go back to it. It is super violent, which is unusual for even a weapon-based fighting game back then. But, even watching characters get sliced in half as the final heavy attack lands gets boring after a while. There are updated modern versions and sequels on Steam, but the original is pretty one-note (i.e. the power-combining system.) and stale by now.
My favorite ending to the game though, is Duke the English knight's ending, who uses the Dual Blades to umm...stop the Viking invasions of England? It's an interesting idea. It's ultimately how I feel about Dual Blades. It's an interesting idea. But, it doesn't really follow through, even though it could've completely changed things.
King of The Dragons (1991 Arcade/1994 Super Nintendo):
“Set out on a great adventure in a fantastical world to defeat Gildiss, the mighty Red Dragon, and save the kingdom from darkness!” – Steam
King of The Dragons is a fantasy beat-em-up that came to Super Nintendo in 1994 (As I remember it!), ported from the 1991 arcade game. It was just like playing a good hack-and-slash DnD game. I still remember a lot of the bosses, characters, the level design, and the great music that made it all unique and part of my formative DnD experience, even though it wasn't directly related to the DnD games. I just want to talk about it.
You start off by selecting your character who's on a quest to slay a dragon. There's a fighter, a cleric, a wizard, a dwarf, and an elf. The elf has the best range. The dwarf has the least range. The cleric is okay, and the wizard is a gamble, since with every level his attack spell, and thus range, also changes. Your weapons level up after every boss fight, but for some reason...I guess for the added challenge, you can also not pick up new weapons and let them disappear.
The first boss fight is the Orc Chieftain. He's got two chain whips and you have to stay in the middle of him while taking out baddies in the forest. Then, the Minotaur who charges every so often after swinging a giant axe. Then, the wyvern, who you attack in the sky, so if you don't have good range, you're just doomed unless you're really good at jumping attacks, or have a lot of magic. The hydra is pretty sneaky with it's multiple heads shooting different things out. I could go on, but really, all of the bosses are are so good, and tough. I usually die right before the giant spider on my own.
Later on, there's a cyclops, a giant spider, a dragon knight, a dark wizard, and of course, King of The Dragons, Glidiss. Each boss has its own trick to beat, but it can still be pretty tricky, if you waste a lot of health getting to them. Heck, I still can't beat the game on my own. But, a lot of the enemy designs, and level designs like spooky giant spiders in the forest, the cyclops who throws rocks, or the shifty mermen still influence many DnD campaigns today.
The settings and music are phenomenal for the 16-bit era. I feel like, in any beat-em-up, since you'll be attacking and doing the same things a lot, the sound can make or break the experience, and boy, does King of The Dragons go all out from the first level onward. Even the character select screen music feels like an epic quest, the level up sound “Wooo!” let's you know you just became more powerful, the magic screen-clearing lightning attacks or frog orbs that turn all your enemies into frogs (BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!) or (RIBBIT, RIBBIT!) feel satisfying and strong.
There are a few minor things I don't like about the game, but they're not deal-breakers. I still like it. I hate the slime enemies that capture you and drain your health. I hate the freeze spell that freezes you until you click really fast to get out of it. I hate the mimic treasure chests that bite you and you have to click really fast to get them off. Basically, I can never click fast enough to avoid them, and that always dooms me during a solo run. I do better as player two!
Despite all the annoying little enemies, it's still a great game, and its music, settings, and characters keep me coming back to it again and again to try to slay Glidiss. Taken together, all the good parts of the game make it an unforgettable experience of an epic DnD quest! Just make sure you pick the elf, in my opinion. Unless he's taken, then just pick the next best-ranged character. Check it out, if you can!
“Collectible cards spring to life in this wacky Tactical CCG. Assemble a deck to challenge your friends and rivals, and engage in glorious CARD BATTLES! Will you choose fearsome dragons, or the deadly squirrels?”
This game is a collectible card game (CCG) that is all about using a cutesy and funny art-style for a war-based card game. It reminds me a little bit of Card Wars from Adventure Time. There are 6 factions. Vikings, Ninjas, Undead, Bestial, Thieves and Heroes. The Vikings can summon berserkers, land sharks, and war penguins, among others. The forces of Nature (Bestial) can summon Archers, Trees, and battle squirrels. It's all about being silly and weird.
But, the game isn't without strategy. I still haven't really built a good deck up yet. Sometimes you can build buildings that give cards more health or attack. Or if you're the Ninja or Thieves faction, you can set traps so that when your castle is attacked, it hurts the other player. The object of of the game is to destroy the other player's castle.
As with most of these deck-building games, there comes a point where it just comes down to luck of the draw and how powerful your cards are, but that's how they draw you in. You might be doing good one minute and then someone draws a card that destroys everything in your deck. That's just how these games go. A cutesy art-style can only mask so much grinding.
I'm not a fan of huge grinds in games, so I usually just stick with the Vikings so far, unless I'm completing a mission that calls for another faction. They can use Dwarven weapons and armor, and have good heroes, like some guy named Björn. Plus, they're the first faction you start with, so it's easier for me just to start there and build outward.
Look, I wish I could say I liked the game more, I'm not against the “Git Gud” philosophy, but there's too much grinding for my tastes. Single-Player Quests are ok, even a bit challenging. After a while, you're either too overpowered for Single-Player, or too under-powered for multiplayer. But, as I said, I still haven't really built up a good deck. I can't really recommend it, but if you don't mind the grind, check it out.
“In a world of gifted hunters and monsters, a weak hunter Sung Jinwoo gains extraordinary powers through a mysterious program, leading him to become one of the strongest hunters and conquering even the strongest dungeons.”
Jinwoo is a 20 year old down-on-his-luck guy who suddenly finds himself in a world where RPG monsters invade Korea through a “gate”. The government learns how to use magic as energy, gold, classes, and skills, just like a game world and hires them as “hunters” to clear monster dungeons. Jinwoo joins a party with a high-ranked leader. Since Jinwoo is weak, he only has a cheap knife to start with.
One day, they end up trapped by giant god statues. But, Jinwoo is the only one who finds out that there is no boss fight. It's a puzzle. That lets him start again in the game world. After his party is defeated at various points in the puzzle, he wakes up again, and slowly learns the rules of the game world, including what gets points and how to get stronger.
Slowly, he begins to build his stats and strength, and learn where the monsters are, as well as their weakness. Now, he can bring up game screens and inventories to enhance his stats and abilities, as well as make weapons appear like swords. No more cheap knives. Jinwoo decides to focus on strength, and has a real-life muscular body as a result of spending his points on strength. However, to avoid attention, he still puts on a front of being very weak, so he can gain “levels” while adventuring solo.
Overall, it's a good mix of real-world and videogame mechanics. The monsters are interesting enough that it keeps me wondering what will happen next. It's hyper-violent, so it never gets boring. There's wolves, goblins, giant ants, snakes, and spiders. It's been fun to see Jinwoo's transformation from weakling to hero thanks to videogame-style Fighter specialization. It gives hope to gamers. (Not that I really am, these days.) Check it out!
“Follows two childhood friends who drift into a mysterious sea with an entire housing complex.”
Childhood friends check out an old apartment building they grew up in before it's scheduled to be demolished. They soon end up in a magical sea along with the demolished house, drifting on it like a boat with the rest of their sixth grade friends. The two main characters are Kosuke and Natsume, who grew up together with Kosuke's grandpa in the old apartment.
We soon discover there's a stowaway in the floating apartment, Noppo who everyone thought was Natsume's imaginary friend. Yuzuru, a girl, is scared of Noppo and thinks he's a ghost at first. He says they've been friends for a long time. There's more truth to this than meets the eye.
It's not all just about the friends, but also returning home, and the drama between Natsume and Kosuke. Natsume blames himself for his grandpa's death, and so refuses to accept the parting gift from his grandpa, a camera. Meanwhile, it's revealed that Natsume had an abusive childhood, so she had to move into the apartment.
They raid other drifting apartments for snacks, food, and fresh clothes. Eventually, Natsume cuts her knee getting into a vending machine and they have to make get bandages from a floating drugstore. They also collide with an old floating carnival, where Yuzuru first developed her love of theme parks.
Kosuke accepts the camera and starts taking pictures of all the old buildings. Here's where it gets really magical. As it turns out, Kosuke spots “things” growing out of Noppo's arm. Plants! Noppo reveals that he's the ghost of the old apartment, and the magical sea is a graveyard for old buildings. If he doesn't join them, they can never return home.
I enjoyed this movie. It's a magical meditation on memories and the cycle of pain and joy, death and rebirth. (Samsara.) Once they let go of their grief, they experience joy, and return home magically. Kosuke takes pictures. Noppo can finally return home. If you have a chance watch it. It's a great anime drama on Netflix!
"It's a combination of roguelike-like gameplay with a deck-building card game. It requires players to develop a strategy for their deck on the fly based on the cards they can obtain from loot.”
Slay The Spire is basically a Souls-Like game with cards. You begin the game by selecting a class. Your class determines what skills and abilities (Cards) you have. There's The Ironclad. He's your Tank character with heavy attacks. There's The Silent. He's your Rogue (DPS: Damage-per-Second.) guy with quick attacks and good abilities. There's The Defect, your “Mage-Type”, with weak attack but heavy on spells and abilities.
The one class I haven't gotten yet is The Watcher. But, I assume it's a support-type character. The Monsters you face are fierce, and can do lot of damage usually, just like a Souls-Like. You'll need to balance your block and attack cards each turn. If you don't block, you're dead. If you can't attack, you're dead.
Some monsters can attack and exhaust your cards or steal your cards. Some mini-bosses have special abilities like reflecting attacks back at you or just dealing truckloads of damage. But, fear not. each level of the Spire is like a board, and each defeated monster drops loot. Not every space on the board is a monster encounter. You can have mystery encounter spaces, where something happens whether it's meeting a demon who curses you, but gives you abilities, or a gambling game that can get you new cards. (Or something like that.) Each such space is usually random.
You can also buy potions, cards, and abilities from merchant spaces if you land on them. My favorite spaces though, are campfire spaces. Here, you rest and heal, or upgrade your cards, making their effects more powerful. These are usually good before boss fights or mini-bosses. You can either rest, or upgrade. You cannot do both.
Overall, it's a good game. A tough game. You die a lot. But, it makes me want to replay each time to see if I can do better. I always want to get better cards or try a different class. “Git Gud”, as the gamers say. Give it a try. Check it out on Steam.
“Can sisters be reincarnated from dragon poop? Laios and his friends Marcille and Chilchuck delve into an endless dungeon in search of his fallen sister, fighting monsters, starvation, and corruption.”
Delicious in Dungeon is a kawaii (cute.) little fantasy/cooking anime about a party of adventurers trying to save their friend from the belly of a dragon while also learning about how to cook monsters. First, there's Laios, the fighter. Then, Marcille, the Elvish wizard girl, and then Chilchuck, the pick-lock. Along the way, they meet a master chef dwarf named Senshi who helps them cook and eat monsters.
Each episode is about what monster they cook and how. First, it's walking mushrooms and scorpions, then man-eating plants, then basilisk, among others. (A basilisk is like a chicken-dragon thing.) Then, they discover they can make BBQ from the oil in some of the fire traps in the dungeon. Yes, they are pretend monsters, but the food still looks good, and it's pretty funny.
A lot of the comedy comes from seeing the characters interact. Marcille is really funny, because she is a picky eater, and wants to use magic to solve everything. She's kind of a take-off on the haughty elf trope. She's always freaking out. She's usually the first to say whatever the dwarf has in mind to cook is disgusting.
The leader of the party is Laios. He's a little weird. He wants to eat everything. He's oddly fixated on monsters, and eating monsters. He's even figured out how to eat living armor by cracking it open like lobster and cooking the creatures inside. Senshi helped. This means he's Senshi's best friend.
Senshi is the dwarf/master chef. He's there to cook all the monsters, and teach real cooking techniques. For example, drying out giant slimes before you eat them to make jelly, or taking the tails and venom from giant scorpions to make a nice hotpot. His dream is to cook a Red Dragon.
Chilchuck is a rogue character. He specializes in picking locks and disarming traps. He's a consummate professional. He doesn't know a lot about cooking, but step aside and let him do his job when you need traps disarmed or locks picked. Not a picky eater, but argues with Senshi if he gets in the way of his job.
Overall, it's a nice and funny anime with good-looking food. It may be fantasy, but it'll still make you hungry. The obsessive characters like Laios are basically there to remind you it's a little weird, but it is comical. It's fun to see what they'll cook up next and how. Can't wait 'til they cook that Red Dragon and save their companion! Give it a watch on Netflix!
“A young boy named Mahito yearning for his mother ventures into a world shared by the living and the dead. There, death comes to an end, and life finds a new beginning.”
Well, I might as well explain my experience of another Hayao Miyazaki movie. I've read a lot of articles saying that this will be his last movie, and it feels like a farewell. To be honest, I think he's been saying every movie will be his last movie since about 2013. We'll see if he makes another movie, but I'm not going to write another post dissecting the farewell symbolism.
With that in mind, the message I got from this movie is that birds are evil. All jokes aside, it's a movie about a boy who discovers a heron who leads him to a tower where his mother who died might still be alive but as a young girl. Birds try to eat him. None of this logic is explained. I think we're just supposed to accept that this fantastical adventure takes place because it is a fantasy movie.
The boy (named Mahito.) tames the heron with a bow and arrow. He then reveals himself to be a shapeshifting dwarf spirit. They go to a lighthouse where a woman guards a fire spirit who might be his mother. There, the birds eat spirits of people yet to be born into the world. He finds his mother protecting the lighthouse with fire magic.
A burned crane explains to him that they are trapped on the island of the dead, and the spirits are all they have to eat. Meanwhile, the parakeet king tries to come into the world of the living, and every bird tries to eat Mahito. They meet a wizard who might be his reclusive uncle in the other world, who tells him he must stay or the balance of the world will be destroyed.
Before the parakeet king can break into the other world, he says goodbye to his mother so she can stay behind, and he can return and she can be reborn as his mother again. If it's about anything, it's really about the cycle of death and rebirth through the mind of a child. And yes, I know it's based on a popular Japanese children's book. But, honestly, I think even without that context, it's still a fun watch...overall, I'd say check it out.
“A Visual Novel about a bear that kinda just wants to be left alone.”
Leave Mr. Bear Alone is a funny visual novel designed by one guy. It's a short one. Reportedly, it's 500 words. The only way to win is to leave Mr. Bear alone. But, the catch is to read more of the story, you have to follow Mr. Bear. So, he gets more and more annoyed, until you lose.
You see, whenever you choose not to follow Mr. Bear, you win. But, the story ends. It'd probably be a good party game or prank game. It takes about 20 minutes. You can follow Mr. Bear through the lake, to his house, or throw a party in the woods for Mr. Bear...but he really wants you to leave him alone.
Give it a try. It's not too long. But, you're gonna lose a lot. Mr. Bear really wants to be alone. Don't follow him. He's gonna be mad. This is pretty funny. Mr. Bear will say things like “Oh, you just COULDN'T LEAVE ME ALONE!” Make a party game of it, and see who can follow the longest. At least it's funny.
“Santa's sleigh is stuck in the sand on a Florida beach only days before Christmas Eve. A group of children try to help.”
Tell me something. When you watch a movie called Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, do you expect to see Jack and The Beanstalk? No? Well, then, skip this movie, because that's what it is. Oh, sure. There's a good 20 mins of Santa getting stuck in Florida. But then, it's Jack and The Beanstalk for an hour, and then they wrap up with The Ice Cream Bunny saving Santa on a firetruck. What, is he gonna drive Santa to the airport?
Santa psychically calls for some children to help him. But, they all fail because they can't push the animals up to Santa's sleigh. Fearing the children are disheartened, Santa tells them all the story of Jack And The Beanstalk. Honestly, it's pretty basic stuff, with some musicals thrown in. If you were expecting a weird Christmas movie like I was, you'll be disappointed.
All the children sing terribly off-key even when dubbed over. Worse yet, they still include noises like Santa's workshop, and firetruck sirens over the kids' singing. The only good singer is the giant. He sings “Fee Fie Fo Fum” like an old opera singer. But then, the warbly low-budget 1970s audio ruins his spoken dialogue, which he always shouts at the top of his lungs. I get it, he's a giant, but spare me the microphone feedback.
In conclusion, skip this movie. Even if you just want a weird Christmas musical, this isn't it. It's Jack and The Beanstalk pretending to be a Christmas movie. It's like someone had a neat bunny costume, and wanted to put it in a movie, so they just crammed it into another movie. It's not even particularly weird. Just disappointing. It's free on Tubi, if you dare.
“Brother/sister duo Hansel and Gretel are professional witch-hunters who help innocent villagers. One day they stumble upon a case that could hold the key to their past.”
Well, the word of the day is anachronism. This movie follows Hansel and Gretel as modern action heroes, who hunt down witches and somehow live in the 19th century fairytale world. One day, they stop the sheriff of Augsburg from executing a woman falsely accused of being a witch. They know because she doesn't look like one. Meanwhile, Hansel and Gretel set about trapping witches with audio recordings, and hunting them down with shotguns and machine guns.
Along the way, they find that one of the head witches, Muriel, has a secret plan to abduct children and become impervious to fire. Fire, in this world, is the only known way to kill a witch. Except when Hansel and Gretel are injured by Muriel's witches, they discover there are good witches who have access to healing and holy water. Including the woman they saved before, Adrianna. Hansel is saved by Adrianna and Gretel is saved by a troll named Edward.
Later, Muriel attacks the town itself to try to sacrifice children, and reveals the truth to Hansel and Gretel. Their mother was a good witch, and they abducted them because eating them would've made them invulnerable to good witch magic. So, Hansel and Gretel meet up with Adrianna, and storm the dark witch castle, armed with blessed machine gun crossbows, miniguns, shotguns, tripwires, and tasers. They attack right before the ritual can be performed, and mow them down with the blessed weapons.
Finally, Edward and Adrianna join the party, and the adventure draws to a close. I would recommend this movie if you have good snacks. It's definitely a popcorn flick, drawing heavily on the action-fairytale trope of the early 2010s like Jack The Giant Slayer, and Snow White and The Huntsman. But, it's free on Prime, so as long as you don't take it too seriously, it's a good time.
“A young boy and a group of misfit friends embark on a quest to find a dark magic item of ultimate power before a diabolical tyrant can.”
In the land of Prydain, the fate of the world will be decided by a pig keeper! The Black Cauldron is about Taran, a young boy looking after a psychic pig. One day, Taran sees that the pig is acting strangely, and discovers that the evil horned king wants to use the fortune-telling animal to find an artifact that can summon undead warriors. Its name is the Black Cauldron.
Along the way, Taran discovers some friends: Gurgi (a Gollum-like creature who steals things.), a bard (Fflewddur), a fairy, and a princess (Eilonwy), who can use magic. He even finds a magic sword while confronted by the evil king's henchmen. Then, Gurgi bravely throws himself into the Black Cauldron to stop the emerging skeleton army. Later, as part of a bargain with witches, Taran trades the magic sword in order for Gurgi to return to life.
I enjoyed this movie a lot. I might be a bit biased because it reminded me of something like a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, and I like DnD. You've got your standard DnD party (Fighter, Healer, Magic User, Thief.) and they all are on a quest to stop an evil king. I love a good fantasy adventure. Plus, Gurgi really reminded me of Gollum, from Lord of The Rings.
So, I'd recommend this movie if you like both those things. Some neat little additions too, are the voice acting from the late greats Freddie Jones and Nigel Hawthorne! Definitely watch this one on Disney+, if you have time. It's a classic fantasy adventure!
“The story of the legendary British outlaw is portrayed with the characters as humanoid animals.”
Well, I never thought I'd be reviewing this classic. So, here I go! It's the tale of Robin Hood, as seen through the animal kingdom. Robin Hood is a fox, Little John's a bear, and the whole thing is told by a rooster. Prince John is a power-hungry maneless lion, bent on taxing the poor, and living a rich lifestyle.
But, Robin Hood robs from the rich and gives to the poor. We first see this when he and Little John disguise themselves as female fortune tellers, but Prince John lets them in, because: “Female bandits? What next?” Then, when the rabbit Skippy has a birthday party, Robin Hood stops by and gives him his hat and bow. Well, he gets into some trouble as he shoots an arrow in Prince John's court.
Maid Marian checks on Skippy, and from this, the haughty Prince John and Sir Hiss get the idea to lure Robin Hood out with an archery contest (But, not before getting robbed again!), and then by kidnapping Friar Tuck! Robin Hood enters the contest disguised as a giant stork, fake beak and all. Clever!
After winning the tournament and Maid Marian, Robin Hood is found out, Friar Tuck is captured by the wolf Sheriff of Nottingham, and all looks to be lost until Robin Hood and Skippy's friends organize a jailbreak. (In disguise of course, this time as the dumb vulture guard Nutsy.) He fights the Sheriff and then disposes of Prince John for the actual king, Richard The Lion-Hearted. In this version, of course, he's an actual lion. Maid Marion and Robin Hood get married, and it all makes for a good lighthearted kid's movie.
A few notes before I recommend this one. There's some reused animation that's from the Jungle Book (1967). Most notably, during the dance number. The whole thing is (Oodalalee!) after all, a musical. But, other than that, the voice acting is good (Sir Hiss the snake and Prince John sure ham it up together.), the hand-drawn animation is nice, and I found it fun to re-visit, years later. I hadn't seen it since I was a kid, and I thought it holds up. Give it a watch on Disney+!
“Dorothy, saved from a psychiatric experiment by a mysterious girl, is somehow called back to Oz
when a vain witch and the Nome King destroy everything that makes the magical land beautiful.”
Return to Oz is some dark and crazy stuff. I almost forgot it was a Disney movie. Back on the farm, Dorothy finds a key to Oz. But, her parents still don't believe she ever went there. So, they commit her to a mental hospital, where she's going to be subjected to electroshock therapy. But, after a storm, she escapes with a friend and a chicken named Billina.
Some of the character design is really wacky and twisted. For example, everyone in Emerald City has been turned to stone, and Wheelers (humanoid punk monsters with wheels for limbs.) dominate the landscape. The Yellow Brick Road is destroyed. The whole movie has a desolate, strange, and uncanny feeling.
Characters Dorothy has as companions are Tik-tok, (a clockwork man.) Billina the chicken, Jack Pumpkinhead, and The Gump, who is a mounted deer head on a flying sofa. Mombi has taken over Oz. She can remove her head, and replace it with any head she takes, which is pretty creepy. On top of Mombi, there's another new enemy. He calls himself The Nome King.
The Nome King is made of stone and hates chickens, for reasons that aren't revealed til later. He claims all the jewels in Oz, so he turned Emerald City to stone. He also likes riddles and games. If Dorothy can pick which objects he turned her friends into, she can leave. But, of course, it isn't that easy. There's always a twist.
Overall, I liked all the weird enemies and companions. I think if I were a kid the movie would've freaked me out. But, I liked the weirdness of it all. Especially Tik-tok and The Nome King. It's rated PG, but that still kind of surprises me. If you're in the mood for a twisted fairytale, give it a watch on Disney+!
“While navigating their careers in Los Angeles, a pianist and an actress fall in love while attempting to reconcile their aspirations for the future.”
So, La La Land is a musical about two artists wanting to pursue their dreams. Mia is an actress and script writer working on a play and TV treatment. Sebastian is a jazz musician who dreams of opening his own club, and playing free jazz. Instead, they are met with an uncaring L.A. They're stuck in side gigs they don't want. But, in spite of this, the two connect by holding onto their dreams.
When Seb and Mia first meet, they are rude to each other, and resent each other. Each is embarrassed by their ambition, feeling that maybe their time is up. But, when they share their passions with each other, the world becomes full of color and music, and excitement. For example, there's no dialogue in the planetarium scene. The music is telling you how the characters feel.
Seb and Mia eventually decide to meet somewhere in-between. They pursue their dreams even though it might drive them apart. Seb can't stay where he is and be a jazz musician. Mia has to stay in L.A. with her boring business fiancee Greg if she wants to be an actress. In one scene, we see how life might have played out had the characters had a life together in their heads. When you see Greg at the piano in the jazz club (having switched places in their heads with Seb and Mia.), you realize how silly it all would've been.
But, at least the characters got to live their romance together for a little while. La La Land is a movie about dreams, romance, and music. So, the music shows you that world, and those feelings. It's all set against the backdrop of Mia working at a coffee shop or Seb half-heartedly playing Jingle Bells on a piano at a Christmas party. If you have time to experience it, give it a watch on Hulu.
“A Colombian teenage girl has to face the frustration of being the only member of her family without magical powers.”
Encanto is about a magical family, the Madrigals. Every member of the family has a different power except Mirabel, who's never gotten one. When the magical house starts to crack up, she seeks out Bruno, an estranged member of the family with ominous fortune-telling powers who everyone blames for spoiled weddings and various unfortunate events. He's also the subject of one of the best songs: “We Don't Talk About Bruno.”
As the search for Bruno begins, the family members start to lose control of their powers. Strong Luisa becomes weak, Pepa can't control the weather she creates, Camilo can't shape-shift, and turns back into a baby. I thought that was funny. Mirabel confronts Bruno and finds out that she's supposed to embrace Isabela, who's wedding she supposedly spoiled. So, they're not exactly getting along.
After talking and singing with Isabela, she finds out that the grand matriarch Abuela is forcing her into her marriage. She never wanted to marry. Abuela's pain at losing her love was what was cracking up the house. Not much to complain about here. The animation is great, the songs are catchy, and it's a bright and colorful depiction of Colombia. Plus, a great moral about how people are more than their abilities! I recommend it, if you have Disney+!
Green Snake a.k.a. White Snake 2: The Tribulations of Green Snake (2021):
“Verta the green snake-demon must find a way to escape from the modern Asuraville of mortals, in order to rescue her elder sister Blanca the White Snake from the demon-slaying monk Fahai.”
“Green Snake” as it was released in America on Netflix, is in fact a sequel to the animated “White Snake” (2019) movie from China. Let's treat it as it's own movie though. After a fight with the monk Fahai, White Snake is sucked into a kind of Buddhist purgatory. Green Snake goes after her. There, she finds that she's no longer in Tang dynasty China, but an amalgam of the modern world and spirit world called Asuraville.
She meets up with Simon and his party, who are hunting down demons led by Mr. Ox. They want to conquer Asuraville, whereas the others just want to return. Old Fox, a spirit with a fox on one side of her head acts as a guide, and explains how to leave Asuraville, by dropping their “tokens of desire” into a pool. Meanwhile, Green Snake might actually have met White Snake (Blanca), reincarnated as a man who's name is never revealed anyway.
Then, when they all gather their tokens, they battle with Mr. Ox again. He finally agrees to leave with them after removing the no-name man's face, for some reason. Then, they battle Fahai again. Green Snake is defeated over and over actually, but ends up in the modern world when she beats Fahai. Green Snake is confused. So was I.
I don't know that I liked this movie. I didn't hate it, but it had way too many side-quests. First it's about Fahai, then find Green Snake, fight demons, then find Green Snake again...it goes on for about 30 mins too long. Plus, I don't like that the action stops just so they can explain the tokens of desire midway through. By the time they got to the 2nd Fahai encounter, I was lost as to what the main story was. Was it to find White Snake, defeat the demons, or get home? Hadn't she done all that before anyway?
I don't really recommend this movie. The animation and battle scenes are good. But, there are just way too many subplots that divert the main story. Maybe it would've made more sense if it weren't presented as a standalone movie. But, in its present form on US Netflix, I have to say skip this one.
