ROOSTER TEETH THOUGHTS:

ROOSTER TEETH THOUGHTS:

Rooster Teeth, the company that made RWBY, closed recently. I wanted to talk about it. I really only joined Rooster Teeth fandom around 2015. I was certainly aware of Rooster Teeth, because Red vs. Blue premiered in 2003, when I was in high school. But, that was before it had a plot, and it was just kind of friends messing around with HALO assets to make a comedy show. Things changed when Monty Oum was brought in. Monty Oum was a wunderkind animator.

He made things like Dead Fantasy and Haloid (HALO vs. Metroid). What made these shows work was always that they were kinda familiar, fast-paced, and action-packed. Dead Fantasy was Final Fantasy, but not really. Haloid was Metroid vs. HALO, but not really. Along with Monty Oum's focus on fast-paced rhythm-based action (with a background as a dancer.) Monty Oum's style of animation was ultimately a victory of re-branding that re-vitalized Rooster Teeth, and gave it direction.

Now, under Monty Oum, Red vs. Blue became an action show, where it was HALO, but not really. It had a plot and characters, and action scenes. After the success of HALO, but not really, Monty Oum was given the green light to develop RWBY, which was Final Fantasy 8, but not really. The costumes, weapons (Everything is a gunblade.), and plot were straight from the 1999 videogame, but not really.

Parts of media like Kingdom Hearts, fairytales, plus shows like Once Upon A Time and Snow White and The Huntsman can also be seen as influences on RWBY, with a color scheme and elaborate rhythm-based team battles, and attacks. Several fairytales had become public domain in 2012, which made them easy to adapt for the small business. RWBY's popular team-based color schemes allegedly came to Monty in a dream, probably from working on Red vs. Blue too much.

So, I joined right in the middle of all this, by watching RWBY. FF8 was my favorite Final Fantasy, so I picked up the plot immediately. I was all about RWBY for a good while. It was like revisiting one of my favorite games, with a fairytale twist, as was popular at the time. The success of RWBY was unprecedented, spawning a fandom. Unfortunately, Monty Oum fell into a coma in 2015 just before the completion of Season 3. (Seasons of RWBY are called Volumes, like fairytale books.)

Season 3 is widely considered the best Volume of RWBY, as it is a tournament arc featuring many different teams and battles, showcasing the fighting mechanics that made RWBY unique. Additionally, it would open up the world, going beyond locations visited in the previous volumes and introducing the second half of the plot with new villains and character development for Team RWBY. Perhaps most importantly, this meant that Volume 4 would be the first without Monty Oum, as his coma proved fatal.

Volume 4 introduced Salem, the new big bad villainess who was secretly controlling everything. The characters slowly discover that magic is real, and that they do in fact live in a fairytale-type world where they are to act as guardians for sacred relics, before Salem can get to them. This was an okay Volume. It's basically the second half of FF8, but at least it left you wondering what could happen.

Volume 5 splits up each individual member of Team RWBY to give them their own arcs. I understand the reasoning behind this, but I felt like they hadn't developed much as a team first. Yang recovers at home and then tries to find her mother, Ruby joins a new team, Weiss is imprisoned back at her home, and Blake takes a boat trip home to confront her misguided past.

At least they reunite by Volume 6's end. I hung in for all the new characters and villains. The writing on the wall for RWBY came, I think, by Volume 8...when COVID happened. It seemingly changed some direction of the show. Instead of the fast-paced action scenes, I felt like now we have cramped action that takes place in one static location, opting for flashes and bangs in place of dynamic movement, often resolved quickly by Ruby's eye powers or one big move, despite earlier establishing the series' love for gun kata (Kung Fu with guns.), and the characters' skills with their own unique weapons.

Also, earlier the series had made references to the fact that the Kingdom of Atlas was basically Germany. It combined its education and military, and chose a different side in the series' Great War. Even Weiss Schnee from Atlas uses a German name. So, the twist that Ironwood actually wanted to defend Atlas by himself by forsaking dust and the other Kingdoms, didn't shock me at all. If it was supposed to be shocking, it failed, since it was telegraphed all along if you know Final Fantasy and history. Final Fantasy is always setting up Magic vs. Technology.

Since the heroes use dust (magic), it's logical to me that the antithesis of that would be embodied in Ironwood, who favors militarism and technology. But, even this distracts from the main plot, which was supposed to be now defeating Salem. Although, I understand they were trying to create villains for every continent in the show's world, with Ironwood being the villain for Atlas. I was disappointed that they couldn't come together already to defeat Salem.

Time was running out. We were now at Volume 9 (2023), and they took a detour once again to The Ever After, a place where fairytales are real. Yang lost her mechanical arm and Ruby lost her weapon. Weiss keeps insisting there's no way they're in a fairytale. It's pretty much at this point where I watched, but lost my former interest. Magic and fairytales had already been proven real. Ruby had already proved herself as a leader. It was a neat visual detour, but there was no thematic reason to reset characters' motivations, other than that's all the writers knew to do absent the guidance of Monty Oum.

I will say I liked the inclusion of BMLB (A fan-created romance between Team RWBY members Yang and Blake.) being absolutely confirmed in this Volume. But, otherwise, it seemed to retread familiar ground, and reset characters' motivations. The Rooster Teeth merger with Warner Bros forced new projects to be focused on instead of the main show. On top of this, dramatic scandals rocked the once-seemingly benign company, including pay disputes and harassment charges. But, it ultimately survived.

I've already written about RWBY: Ice Queendom, the Japanese anime version of RWBY. In addition, Rooster Teeth focused on cross-over comics and movies with DC's Justice League, which again, while interesting both covered familiar grounds. By this point, if you didn't already like RWBY, you weren't going to watch another origin story and re-introduce the team. They staked everything on the success of RWBY and Batman, but Batman doesn't need RWBY.

You see, what made the show work was always that it was Final Fantasy, but not really. I say that as a fan of RWBY. It was not perfect, but it was the little animation studio that could. If you add Batman to it, or bigger more recognizable entities, in my view, it kills the idea that these characters were home-grown successes. Rooster Teeth had fans who had watched it grow from a small web animation studio, to become something original in spite of being a victory of re-branding Final Fantasy characters with twists. The merger with a giant corporation killed their home-grown success myth.

What will happen to RWBY now that Rooster Teeth is going under? I don't know. Probably, it will just move to a Warner Bros. Company. Maybe Cartoon Network will pick it up, or Crunchyroll. It was a wild ride while it lasted, Rooster Teeth. Everyone involved will probably just come back under a new company. I just hope they can finish RWBY's story, and give it a good ending.

Cards and Castles 2 (2023):

Cards and Castles 2 (2023):

“Collectible cards spring to life in this wacky Tactical CCG. Assemble a deck to challenge your friends and rivals, and engage in glorious CARD BATTLES! Will you choose fearsome dragons, or the deadly squirrels?”

This game is a collectible card game (CCG) that is all about using a cutesy and funny art-style for a war-based card game. It reminds me a little bit of Card Wars from Adventure Time. There are 6 factions. Vikings, Ninjas, Undead, Bestial, Thieves and Heroes. The Vikings can summon berserkers, land sharks, and war penguins, among others. The forces of Nature (Bestial) can summon Archers, Trees, and battle squirrels. It's all about being silly and weird.

But, the game isn't without strategy. I still haven't really built a good deck up yet. Sometimes you can build buildings that give cards more health or attack. Or if you're the Ninja or Thieves faction, you can set traps so that when your castle is attacked, it hurts the other player. The object of of the game is to destroy the other player's castle.

As with most of these deck-building games, there comes a point where it just comes down to luck of the draw and how powerful your cards are, but that's how they draw you in. You might be doing good one minute and then someone draws a card that destroys everything in your deck. That's just how these games go. A cutesy art-style can only mask so much grinding.

I'm not a fan of huge grinds in games, so I usually just stick with the Vikings so far, unless I'm completing a mission that calls for another faction. They can use Dwarven weapons and armor, and have good heroes, like some guy named Björn. Plus, they're the first faction you start with, so it's easier for me just to start there and build outward.

Look, I wish I could say I liked the game more, I'm not against the “Git Gud” philosophy, but there's too much grinding for my tastes. Single-Player Quests are ok, even a bit challenging. After a while, you're either too overpowered for Single-Player, or too under-powered for multiplayer. But, as I said, I still haven't really built up a good deck. I can't really recommend it, but if you don't mind the grind, check it out.

The Boy And The Heron (2023):

The Boy And The Heron (2023):

“A young boy named Mahito yearning for his mother ventures into a world shared by the living and the dead. There, death comes to an end, and life finds a new beginning.”

Well, I might as well explain my experience of another Hayao Miyazaki movie. I've read a lot of articles saying that this will be his last movie, and it feels like a farewell. To be honest, I think he's been saying every movie will be his last movie since about 2013. We'll see if he makes another movie, but I'm not going to write another post dissecting the farewell symbolism.

With that in mind, the message I got from this movie is that birds are evil. All jokes aside, it's a movie about a boy who discovers a heron who leads him to a tower where his mother who died might still be alive but as a young girl. Birds try to eat him. None of this logic is explained. I think we're just supposed to accept that this fantastical adventure takes place because it is a fantasy movie.

The boy (named Mahito.) tames the heron with a bow and arrow. He then reveals himself to be a shapeshifting dwarf spirit. They go to a lighthouse where a woman guards a fire spirit who might be his mother. There, the birds eat spirits of people yet to be born into the world. He finds his mother protecting the lighthouse with fire magic.

A burned crane explains to him that they are trapped on the island of the dead, and the spirits are all they have to eat. Meanwhile, the parakeet king tries to come into the world of the living, and every bird tries to eat Mahito. They meet a wizard who might be his reclusive uncle in the other world, who tells him he must stay or the balance of the world will be destroyed.

Before the parakeet king can break into the other world, he says goodbye to his mother so she can stay behind, and he can return and she can be reborn as his mother again. If it's about anything, it's really about the cycle of death and rebirth through the mind of a child. And yes, I know it's based on a popular Japanese children's book. But, honestly, I think even without that context, it's still a fun watch...overall, I'd say check it out.

Cupid (2015):

Cupid (2015):

“Love is both poison and cure, both knife and remedy.“

"Rosa's best friend, Catherine, is dead and she is sure Catherine’s betrothed, Marquis Guilleme is to blame. Mother says so. Mother says he has to pay with his life. Although, she knows by now Guilleme is no ordinary man. He is tainted. A monster. He cannot be killed by usual means. To seek the best revenge, she must find out all his secrets and destroy him. But will her own dark desires consume her or liberate her? No matter. Mother will tell her what to do."

Cupid (2015):

I liked this game. But, I only had the patience to get one ending. The plot is basically about a poor girl and her abusive relationship with her mother and suitor in 18th century France. She is mocked by the court until she's taken in by a nobleman (the suitor.) who actually is Cupid. I found the story unique, but a bit long. Well, I killed Cupid in the one ending I got, and I have no desire to replay. A bit too melodramatic, and a long read, for what it is.

Green Snake a.k.a. White Snake 2: The Tribulations of Green Snake (2021):

Green Snake a.k.a. White Snake 2: The Tribulations of Green Snake (2021):

“Verta the green snake-demon must find a way to escape from the modern Asuraville of mortals, in order to rescue her elder sister Blanca the White Snake from the demon-slaying monk Fahai.”

“Green Snake” as it was released in America on Netflix, is in fact a sequel to the animated “White Snake” (2019) movie from China. Let's treat it as it's own movie though. After a fight with the monk Fahai, White Snake is sucked into a kind of Buddhist purgatory. Green Snake goes after her. There, she finds that she's no longer in Tang dynasty China, but an amalgam of the modern world and spirit world called Asuraville.

She meets up with Simon and his party, who are hunting down demons led by Mr. Ox. They want to conquer Asuraville, whereas the others just want to return. Old Fox, a spirit with a fox on one side of her head acts as a guide, and explains how to leave Asuraville, by dropping their “tokens of desire” into a pool. Meanwhile, Green Snake might actually have met White Snake (Blanca), reincarnated as a man who's name is never revealed anyway.

Then, when they all gather their tokens, they battle with Mr. Ox again. He finally agrees to leave with them after removing the no-name man's face, for some reason. Then, they battle Fahai again. Green Snake is defeated over and over actually, but ends up in the modern world when she beats Fahai. Green Snake is confused. So was I.

I don't know that I liked this movie. I didn't hate it, but it had way too many side-quests. First it's about Fahai, then find Green Snake, fight demons, then find Green Snake again...it goes on for about 30 mins too long. Plus, I don't like that the action stops just so they can explain the tokens of desire midway through. By the time they got to the 2nd Fahai encounter, I was lost as to what the main story was. Was it to find White Snake, defeat the demons, or get home? Hadn't she done all that before anyway?

I don't really recommend this movie. The animation and battle scenes are good. But, there are just way too many subplots that divert the main story. Maybe it would've made more sense if it weren't presented as a standalone movie. But, in its present form on US Netflix, I have to say skip this one.

Cryptozoo (2021):

Cryptozoo (2021):

“Cryptozookeepers try to capture a Baku, a dream-eating hybrid creature of legend, and start wondering if they should display these beasts or keep them hidden and unknown.”

Well, I guess it helps to know what you're getting into before you watch a movie. I expected this movie to be bizarre, but I didn't expect it to open with two naked hippies getting viciously attacked by a unicorn with South Park-levels of gore. It's a wild movie! Free on Hulu.

From the hippies, we go to our main protagonist Lauren, a cryptid hunter. It's the 1960s, and she's globe-hopping to save mystical creatures. They save Russian storm birds, a satyr, a medusa, and a guy with a face in his chest (voiced by Michael Cera.), to build a zoo for cryptids...Cryptozoo!

One day, she discovers that the Baku (dream-eater) who helped her with nightmares as a kid, and inspired her quest to become a crypto-zoologist, is being held by the US military. So, she gathers her cryptid friends and quests to save her from them. Thus, the movie turns into a sort of mystical spy epic, with tons of gore as the animals and soldiers are both killed/or captured.

I'm not necessarily against violence in movies, I just think I wasn't prepared to watch an officer get eaten by a South American megaworm. Or goblins get shot, or a hippie to be impaled by a unicorn. The general message seems to be that nature wants animals to be free, not used as weapons or entertainment. The animation is psychedelic and 1960s-inspired, so at least it's never boring. Watch it with some snacks, and you'll have fun.

WONDER WOMAN: BLOODLINES (2019):

WONDER WOMAN: BLOODLINES (2019):

“Wonder Woman tries to help a troubled young girl, Vanessa, who has fallen in with a deadly organization known as Villainy Inc. headed by Dr. Cyber.”

Well, another one where there's a ton going on! Steve Trevor arrives on Themyscira followed by parademons. Wonder Woman believes his arrival means that an attack is coming, so she leaves the island and comes to modern day Man's World to help. One of the things I like about this one is how Diana comports herself like an ancient Amazon.

For example, she apologizes to a woman for crooks “hampering” her day, and says to her host family's daughter Vanessa that her “sleeping chambers” were quite similar to hers, just with servants. Vanessa feels slowly neglected by Wonder Woman as her popularity grows; so, jealous of her, she joins Villainy Inc.!

The rest of the quest is to save Vanessa and stop more monsters and villains from attacking. Vanessa becomes Silver Swan with the help of Dr. Poison and Dr. Cyber. I'm impressed with this movie's villainess roster. Cheetah, Giganta, Dr. Poison, the Minotaur, and even Medusa all show up. Wonder Woman can punch through walls, and throw giant pillars, so the fight scenes are good...there's always the lasso, too!

After she defeats Silver Swan, they have to figure out how to get back to Themyscira. There they can use the aptly-named “purple healing ray” to cure her. But, everyone who leaves the island magically forgets where it is! They work out the location, but there is a major betrayal in the team. Overall, the film does a good job showing Wonder Woman's powers and code of honor. I liked it!

It's kind of like an extended Justice League episode. With more villainesses than probably in the average Wonder Woman movie! It kind of feels like they were riding high from 2017's Wonder Woman success, which is a good thing. I'm always up for more Greek myths and superheroes. I feel like animation can show things that just look ridiculous in movies, like invisible jets, no matter how good your CGI is.

I think this is worth watching, if only because it throws a lot at you. At times, it's not afraid to have fun, but you're never bored either way. It's a nice mix of action-comedy. If you wanna see Wonder Woman at full power, I'd recommend this movie. Give it a watch, if you can!

OUTLANDER (2008):

OUTLANDER (2008):

“During the reign of the Vikings, Kainan, a man from a far-off world, crash lands on Earth, bringing with him an alien predator known as the Moorwen.”

This is a movie about a space marine who crashes into medieval Norway, carrying an alien who can shoot lasers and impale people with its tentacles that everyone mistakes for a dragon. The marine, Kainan, loses his gun and vows to track down the alien. With Iron Age tech, he reasons it's easier to trap it.

But now, he is trapped in Norse politics. At first, they think he's a spy for the Franks. John Hurt, who plays the Viking chieftain listens to his story. They don't believe him at first, but after hunting the beast with him, they believe it's more than a bear. Kainan parties with the Vikings, and becomes friends with Freya, the king's daughter.

Now, this is where he gets mixed up. Freya is due to marry Wulfric, who Freya says is a tyrant. Thus, Freya entrusts Kainan, not him, with the king's sword. All the while building this “dragon trap”, he has to fend off enemies that Wulfric has made too. They suspect his tribe attacked, when it was the alien. But, Wulfric is too quick to think with his sword.

Thinking with his mind and heart, Kainan tries to trap the beast and bring the people together. This is justice for having brought the monster into their world. I really enjoyed this mix of hard sci-fi and mythical fantasy. It's free on Youtube movies. If you have time, give it a watch!

The Dark Crystal (1982):

The Dark Crystal (1982):

"On another planet in the distant past, a Gelfling embarks on a quest to find the missing shard of a magical crystal, and to restore order to his world."

Definitely worth a watch, if you like fantasy-adventure. It has a dark feeling to it, with some weird creature designs. Excellent puppet work from Jim Henson and co.! Plus, the bad guys (Skeksis) are really evil, and suck the souls out of Gelflings. Stakes that high make for a good adventure. Give it a watch!

Journey To The West (2014):

Journey To The West (2014):

"A story centered on Tang Sanzang, a Buddhist trying to protect a village from three demons, his emerging feelings for Miss Duan, the demon hunter who helps him repeatedly, and Sanzang's transformative encounter with the Monkey King."

Pretty good, pretty weird action comedy by Stephen Chow. Look it up if you wanna watch something funny and unique, with a weird spin on Chinese legend. Check it out if you can.

Clash of the Titans (1981):

Clash of the Titans (1981):

"Perseus must battle Medusa and the Kraken to save the Princess Andromeda."

My favorite film, and first exposure to Greek myths. Lovely claymation monster work by Ray Harryhausen, including the evil Kalibos, Kraken, Medusa, and others. Excellent scenes in Mount Olympus help give the film a sincere sense of epic scale, without being bloated. Highly recommended. For me, the monsters and gods are what make it strange and mesmerizing to watch.
Check it out!

THE 99 (2011) REVIEW:

THE 99 (2011) REVIEW:

Narrator: “It is said that the light of one heart can illuminate all the darkness in the world.”

Once in a while Netflix completely surprises me and shows me something that I really like. In this case, it’s the animated superhero show The 99. The 99 is a 26-episode series written by Dr. Naif Al-Mutawa, that focuses on a group of heroes who are powered by magical gems called Noor stones. Supposedly, there are 99 stones. Each stone grants it’s user different powers. The first one to be found is a paraplegic man with the power to send out pain waves/healing waves from his hands: John Weller.

   The others found all have different abilities and powers, and all have Arabic names given to them once they join the 99. I suspect it has to do with the 99 names of Allah…well, and 99 Noor stones. Of course, I myself am an Agnostic, but I love discussing multiculturalism! As for the superheroes: There is (mainly) Jabbar The Powerful, (Superstrength and invulnerability) Darr The Afflicter (John), Mumita The Destroyer (Superstrength and agility.) Noora, The Light, (Light-based  powers and  empathy.) Jami The Assembler (Super engineer.) Those are the main three from what I see. Although the series plays off of Islam, the show itself is more about universal values of good and evil, and happens all around the world (Hong Kong, St. Louis, Hungary, and Jakarta, to name a few…) just  like the X-men and the mutants.
     
Dr. Ramzi Razem serves as the mentor (The Professor X, if you will.) of The 99. One thing I liked about the show was how well it depicts in my mind, how people would react to being superheroes. John doesn’t just get on a plane and fly off with them! No! He tells them to get out of his house and go away until his powers go out of control and they chase him down! Although John is a little bitter in the beginning, and generally has a negative view of his chair (Except when The 99 upgrade it into a sort of armored Permobil powerchair!) I tend to think that’s due to his tough-as-nails persona and background, rather than pity.

    In fact, I have to say, for all it’s cheesiness, I really liked The 99’s depiction of John’s disability. He sort of moves extra-consciously…with a click before he moves from his powerchair of course. And although I never realized it…that’s how I move too. I sort of have to think “Okay, turn here; then straight ahead.” but of course it’s all habit. Early episodes have some nice examples of John’s POV, all punctuated with clicks from his chair. Little things like this I notice. I’m always somewhat pleased when I see disability in mainstream superhero media!

     Of course, opposite Ramzi and The 99 is Raghul. Raghul is the Magneto to The 99’s X-men. A nice plot twist occurs when John becomes suspicious of why Ramzi brought them to The 99 Mansion, and gave them codenames. Why do superheroes need secret identities, anyway? (I know, to protect their loved ones.) It turns out that they had been working for Raghul, and the man they were told was Raghul was Ramzi! Nice twist on the secret identity theme. Anyway, Ramzi reasons that since they already have codenames and a secret base, he might as well use them for Good.

     The base of The 99 is in Selville, Spain, on the ruins of a 13th century Islamic library. I like how the show is based in Arabic/Islamic mythology and culture, and explores themes of ethics, social justice, and multiculturalism, in much the same way as X-men does…but just as X-men is not specific to any religion…The 99 has a different cultural/historical setting which adds to the backgrounds of the characters and Good vs. Evil narrative of the show.

Though Islamic culture is important to the show, the religion is never explicitly  discussed. Though I felt like maybe it’s time we have strong Islamic superheroes? I felt like it was a missed opportunity. It’s time we had a serious intercultural dialogue in that respect. If Nightcrawler can discuss Christianity, why not John Weller discuss Islam? Though I really like that the show went for (to me.) something new, to show how people act on cultural values; and for including a bit of disability culture as well.

The only thing I didn’t like about this series was…the animation. Until Beware The Batman proved me wrong, I’ve always kinda thought 3D animation was inherently clunky and awkward…and it’s still pretty bad here. Often, it feels more like a product of the late 90s than modern animation…but the action and themes covered are good, even though animation is lacking! If you’re looking for more disabled superheroes, or just a new show to watch about superheroes, I highly recommend The 99 for its cultural settings, sneaky plot twists, and cool superheroes! I’d rate this 3.5/5 stars, but just for animation issues! Give it a watch! I was pleasantly surprised!

SHORT STORY: TED'S SECRET (19TH ANNIVERSARY)

When I was in 2nd grade, I used to write "books" on an electronic typewriter of usually 1-5 pages, each one or two lines, and bound with stapled construction paper. I loved to write these. One such story was Ted's Secret. Written in February of 1994, it was the first story I ever wrote that was an attempt at an epic adventure story.

Looking back on it, I was amazed because it incorporated epic themes, and played off of Nintendo games, computer games, and cartoons...where I would've gotten stories at the time. It even had a coherent moral: That you can ask for people to help, but never trust blindly. It's only drawback was the 2nd grade grammar I used at the time.

Previous morals for these "books" included: "And that's why you never ask what pancakes are being made!" (On second thought, that could've been me being silly!) and "That's why there is a rainbow at the end of the rainbow." (That was definitely a mistake.) But, this one ended with "And Ted went home happily." (But, I forgot to mention about half the story until now.) Ending aside, it was my first coherent epic!

On the 19th anniversary of this little "book" which encapsulates my early love of adventure stories, cartoons, and videogames...particularly Legend of Zelda! I decided to edit it, expand it, and change the grammar to make it more accessible to others. But, I still wanted young children to be able to read it, and maybe better understand the moral. So, I kept it simple. If alien anthropologists discover my body thousands of years from now, I'd want them to discover Ted's Secret on me. It is one of the best I've ever written.

Without further ado, Through Alien Eyes presents: Ted's Secret!

Ted’s Secret:

  One day, a man, Ted went hunting. “Eh?” He asked as he opened his secret chest. My secret isn’t where I put it! Maybe someone knows where it is.” He couldn’t hunt without it, so he went to the church to see if the nun could help.

"No, I'm sorry, but I cannot help you." said the nun. "But, my brother, the hermit collects such things. Perhaps he can help you. He lives in the Hills of High Fire." The nun bowed, leaving Ted.

So, Ted climbed to the Hills of High Fire, where flame surrounded the hermit. "Beg your pardon, sir. Are you the nun's brother?" asked Ted.
"Why yes! I am." said the squinty eyed old man, peaking through the fiery walls. "And what would you be seeking?"

"I'm looking for my secret." Ted explained. "The nun said you might collect such things."
"Why, yes, I might have that in my collection." The snaggle-toothed crone stepped out from the fire, and said. "Can you tell me what it looks like?"

Ted thought for a while, and whispered to the old man. “It is a treasure of unimaginable wealth. It took me sixty-one weeks to find it.”

“Ah!” said the hermit, digging around in his hovel. “A treasure, big with lamps and rubies on it!” cackled the nun’s brother.
    Ted shot the old man a look. “Do you have it, old hermit?” Ted wondered how the nun’s brother could be so crazy.

“No, I don’t have anything like that!” shouted the hermit. “But, maybe the willows have such things as you seek, adventurer. Beware, the willows can be nasty, and will throw apples at you.”

“Then, give me what I need to go see the willows!” Ted protested.

The ancient hermit coughed and wheezed in insane laughter. “Here is a shield to block the apples. And a gas mask. The Willow Woods are smelly.” He smiled toothlessly, and handed Ted the things. “Now, leave me be! I have to call the firefighters!” Hermits collect such strange things! Ted thought, and put on the gas mask, bidding his friend good-bye.

Away Ted went to the Willow Woods. The tall dark trees made him look small. They hunched down to speak with hideous, crooked faces.

“Who are you, little man?” They demanded.

“I’m Ted, the hunter.” said Ted. “And I seek my secret that I lost this morning!” Yelled Ted back at the willows.

“Go away, we don’t have it!” Said the willows altogether, and threw apples with their hand-like branches.
   “Amazing!” Thought Ted, blocking the apples. “A forest that attacks travelers! What are you, knaves?”
     Suddenly, those trees sobbed and said, “You may pass! We are only slaves to the warlock in the Grey Tower.”

“Amazing!” said Ted. “Does the warlock know where my secret is?”

“A warlock knows many things.” said the eldest willow. “And if he did have a secret, he would keep it to
himself. Yes! He could have it, and if you face him, we could finally be a peaceful forest! Go, Ted!” The
trees cracked woody smiles, and made a road.

And Ted went down the road happily. Then, he went to the warlock’s tower, and knocked on the big door.
“Who are you?” asked the warlock.
“I’m Ted, and I came from the forest looking for my secret!” Exclaimed Ted to the warlock.
“Come in.” said the warlock. “I have many secrets.”
“Have you seen mine?” asked Ted.
“You defeated the willows. You must be a warlock too. Is it magic?” said the warlock
 “No,” said Ted. “It’s a treasure of unimaginable wealth. It took me sixty-one weeks to find it.”
 “Ah!” said the warlock. “Yes! I have magical treasures. What will you give me for it?”
  Ted showed him the shield and gas mask.

 “Wow!” shouted the warlock. “I have never seen things like that. Now, I will show you my mirror.” Then, Ted went to the mirror room, and saw himself in it.
  He looked weird and strange. The mirror was shiny, but didn’t look like a treasure.
“Aha! A trick, old man!” Yelled Ted.
“It’s no trick, the mirror shows the truth.” said the warlock. “It knows where the secret is!”
“Where?” asked Ted, “But it only shows me, and I emptied my pockets!”
“Ah, look inside!” said the warlock. So, Ted jumped inside the mirror. The sky was green and the grass outside was blue and sunny. Of course, Ted thought. In the mirror world, it’s the opposite! He will find the secret instead of losing it! So, Ted went back to hunting, and remembered the secret.
 On a white cliff, near a green lake, Ted  found a chest. Ted opened the lock, but right there was a girl who snatched it away.

“There it is!” she said. “I found it!”
“Hey!” said Ted. “That’s my secret! Who are you?”
“I’m Theodora, the huntress.” She said. She looked just like him.
“Of course!” said Ted, “If I’m here, and I remember, then you forgot it.”
“It’s mine now!” said the girl.
“Yes, but you’re just a mirror illusion.” said Ted. “I’m going to leave now, and believe that I still have it.” And Ted walked out of the mirror with the secret chest, that he didn’t have before he entered.

“Amazing!” said Ted to the warlock. “I’ll go home now.”
“No! I’m a warlock! I keep all the world’s secrets!” said the warlock.
“Why, yes, you do.” said Ted. “But, only if you teach me your magic.”
“How dare you!” Yelled the warlock who raised his wand. But, Ted blocked it with the secret chest. The warlock sobbed. He was turned into a frog. “Okay, I’ll teach you my magic. Just turn me back.”  And the wizard taught him all his magic, and Ted flew back to his house and put down the big chest. “What an adventure!” said Ted.
A little while later, Ted passed by a wandering merchant.
“Would you like to sell your secret?” asked the merchant.
  “No.” said Ted, and smiled. “This secret is mine, and it has gotten me all the magic and collections of the land.”

“What is it worth to you?” asked the salesman.
“Everything.” said Ted. “It took me sixty-one weeks to find, and the nun couldn’t help me get it back. I freed the willows, and learned magic to get it back.”
“What about some gold?” The man asked.
Ted nodded finally. “I can use gold. You can have the chest, but not the secret.” Ted took the gold, and the merchant laughed.
“Deal!” But, he looked inside for the secret and saw nothing.
And Ted went home happily, with his secret inside his head.

THE FLASH: FLASHPOINT:

The Flash: Flashpoint

I’m not sure why everyone seems divided on this one. Probably because it introduces DC’s New 52, which is still something I have yet to touch. Flash wakes up in an alternate reality where Superman and The Justice League don’t exist, and Wonder Woman and Aquaman have started World War III, and his mother, not father is still alive. Sounds cool enough for me! In an effort to understand what went wrong he zooms off to contact this alternate reality’s Batman.

However, this reality’s Batman is Thomas Wayne, and Bruce got shot in the alley. So, when Flash calls him Bruce, he is freaked out and attacks him. He stops when Flash deduces that he is Thomas. Thomas is intrigued that his son lived in another reality and agrees to help Flash get back to his world. However, when he opens his Flash ring, the suit that flies out is the Reverse Flash. Okay, I can see why this is a little annoying, since it’s just everything happening in opposite style, but there’s a cool war angle, and eventually Flash learns to stop saying “This isn’t real.” He says this isn’t his world, but it’s the only world he’s got. Flash rescues this world’s version of Superman, being held captive in a government lab, and unites the world’s heroes into a sort of Justice League.

    Themes of responsibility, physics (my favorite part of any Flash graphic novel!) and psychology are always in play. Memories of the other reality keep colliding with his old memories due to him temporarily existing in both time streams. Fortunately, Thomas Wayne invents a serum and tells Flash. “Remember my son. Don’t forget my son.” Flash and Thomas Wayne visit war-torn Europe. Western Europe is drowned by Atlantis, and the UK is occupied by Amazons! Meanwhile, Cyborg is back in the USA, which is on the verge of defeat.

   In Europe, after duking it out with the villains Aquaman and Wonder Woman with his allies, The Flash encounters The Reverse Flash! He tells him that in this reality, he’s the villain. Since, if he would’ve let The Reverse Flash kill his mom his world, this one wouldn’t exist. Now, I know, it’s a little cheesy to link mass genocide to Flash’s mommy issues, but the interplay of memories between the two realities recalls Flash’s origin in mythology: Hermes, messenger of The Gods. As well as including theoretical physics and string theory. After taking a letter from Thomas, Flash destroys himself by convincing himself not to save his mother, and returns to the normal timeline, letter in tact via Batman serum.

    At the end of the act, we have a teary-eyed Bruce Wayne reading his dad’s letter, and telling Flash “You’re one hell of a messenger.” Also, in the end, there are Flash Facts about how mirrors work by refracting light (Thanks to Mirror Master!), and how the ancient Romans believed mirrors could trap souls. Via Captain Boomerang, we receive a lesson in boomerang physics and friction! The friction pushes back on the curved ends to send it back to the thrower! But, anyway, why am I talking about Flashpoint?

      Because it will become the basis for DC’s newest animated film The Flashpoint Paradox! I’m most eager to see Kevin Conroy return and do Batman! But, perhaps most interesting for me is Carey Elwes will be voicing Aquaman! The dread pirate Aquaman leaves no survivors! While the comics may be controversial for setting up The New 52, the voice cast has me pumped enough to believe it will be well worth a watch! Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox will be available June 20th this year!
 

(The Flashpoint Paradox)

(Flash and Batman confront Reverse Flash!)

    (I can't resist: "Have fun stormin' the castle, Aquaman!")