Stupid Zombies (2013):

Stupid Zombies (2013):

“A man, a shotgun and a bunch of zombies. You're humanity's last hope, and it's your job to keep them in line. Adjust your shots and angles, and watch your bullets bounce from wall to wall, elegantly cutting off the arms and limbs of each zombie.”

Stupid Zombies is one of those time-waster puzzle games where you clear each stage by aiming and shooting until all the enemies are gone. Each puzzle gets harder as you progress. It's like Angry Birds, but with zombies and monsters. The main character is stationery, and you take out all the enemies as best you can.

You have different ammo, different obstacles, and different monsters as you continue. For example, one level you might have bomb ammo, bouncing ammo, or there might be boxes or glass in the way of the monsters. Some levels have traps you can activate like exploding barrels or crates that can eliminate zombies. But, no good Angry Birds-clone is complete without microtransactions (a.k.a. pay-to-win.) and star rankings.

Each Stage has 360 levels. You can unlock 4 stages. You unlock stages by getting a certain score (Up to 3 stars each.) on each level depending on how good you did. Each has their own unique settings and traps, but are essentially difficulty settings. So, Stage 1 is relatively Easy, Stage 2 is Normal, Stage 3 is Hard, and Stage 4 is Expert.

You can, of course, just pay for airstrikes that automatically clear a level. A pay-to-clear attack is a grand tradition of Free-To-Play Angry Birds clones. But, I'm not doing that. I like my Free-To-Play games to actually be free. So, in conclusion, it's Angry Birds with zombies. It won't win awards, but it's a fun, mostly free way to waste time. Check it out!

Doki Doki Literature Club! (2017):

Doki Doki Literature Club! (2017):

"Hi, Monika here! Welcome to the Literature Club! It's always been a dream of mine to make something special out of the things I love. Now that you're a club member, you can help me make that dream come true in this cute game! Every day is full of chit-chat and fun activities with all of my adorable and unique club members: Sayori, the youthful bundle of sunshine who values happiness the most; Natsuki, the deceivingly cute girl who packs an assertive punch; Yuri, the timid and mysterious one who finds comfort in the world of books; ...And, of course, Monika, the leader of the club! That's me! I'm super excited for you to make friends with everyone and help the Literature Club become a more intimate place for all my members. But I can tell already that you're a sweetheart—will you promise to spend the most time with me? ♥"

So, this is actually a creepy anime that pretends to be a high school romance game until its horror elements are slowly revealed. There's a girl that commits suicide, a girl who slowly wastes away, a girl who's totally into stabbing, and a girl who takes over your game until you delete her character file. Once you know it's actually a horror game, (Spoiler alert.) the joke wears off really quickly, and you just click through all the forgettable dialogue to get to the next girl. Can't recommend.

Cupid (2015):

Cupid (2015):

“Love is both poison and cure, both knife and remedy.“

"Rosa's best friend, Catherine, is dead and she is sure Catherine’s betrothed, Marquis Guilleme is to blame. Mother says so. Mother says he has to pay with his life. Although, she knows by now Guilleme is no ordinary man. He is tainted. A monster. He cannot be killed by usual means. To seek the best revenge, she must find out all his secrets and destroy him. But will her own dark desires consume her or liberate her? No matter. Mother will tell her what to do."

Cupid (2015):

I liked this game. But, I only had the patience to get one ending. The plot is basically about a poor girl and her abusive relationship with her mother and suitor in 18th century France. She is mocked by the court until she's taken in by a nobleman (the suitor.) who actually is Cupid. I found the story unique, but a bit long. Well, I killed Cupid in the one ending I got, and I have no desire to replay. A bit too melodramatic, and a long read, for what it is.

Perfect Blue (1997):

Perfect Blue (1997):

“A pop singer gives up her career to become an actress, but she slowly goes insane when she starts being stalked by an obsessed fan and what seems to be a ghost of her past.”

Mima is a pop idol who wants to leave her band (Cham) to pursue a career as an actress. But, as soon as she joins the police procedural crime show Double Bind, murders start to occur in the ex-pop idol's name. She discovers a website written by “her” (as Mima from Cham.) that not only lists what she does every day, but also serves as a hit list of writers and producers on Double Bind.

She tries to confront them. Soon, she slowly discovers she's losing her grip on reality, and is unable to recall what she did, and if the murders are real. Where is she? Who are the murderers? Is she the murderer? Is she an actress, or a pop idol? What is reality, and what's on TV?

Satoshi Kon does a great job blurring reality and fantasy. Some of the imagery isn't subtle for a murder mystery. For instance, who is the hired killer? Gee, how 'bout the guy who looks like a hired killer? But, it's a good surrealist horror piece, and much of the mystery still holds up. That said, much of this movie wouldn't make sense today.

Mima doesn't know what a website or a “double-click” is. There are fax machines that call her a traitor. The media landscape has changed so much since 1997, these scenes are almost comedic. Still, Satoshi Kon does a good job putting the horror front and center. There are exploding letters, stabbings, sexual abuse, and even a doppelganger claiming to be “The real Mima”.

It's not to everyone's taste, and is violent, but it's a good look into the work of Satoshi Kon dividing reality and fantasy. If you're in the mood for a surrealist murder mystery, check it out. Just beware, there's a lot of horror, and it's a little dated. Otherwise, I say give it a watch!

Vicious Lips (1986):

Vicious Lips (1986):

“Sometime in the distant future, a fledgling band gets an opportunity for a breakthrough, if they can make it in time to a faraway planet to perform in a very popular club.”

So, Judy Jetson gets selected to replace a famous rockstar girl, Ace Lucas. She joins the band The Vicious Lips on their way to a big gig at The Radioactive Dream. Really, the whole movie plays like just an 80s music video, or rock opera. They keep setting it up like it'll be more, but it never really is.

They crash on a desert planet. Then, it turns out that there's an escaped ape-like alien on the spaceship. They keep acting like he should be scary and creepy, but then she smokes some “Martian herb”, and ends up on a planet called Passion Inc. where zombies chase her, and ask her if she wants to be a star.

Then, she wakes up, and it's all been a dream. Literally, one of the most cliched endings. The entire second act doesn't matter. They sing their ending number “Lunar Madness” and then roll credits. I feel like I have to go easy on this movie, since it is just a rock opera. They tease a bigger plot, but it's like Thriller. It's a vehicle for music videos.

Some of the sci-fi costumes, and songs are cool. If that's what you want, give it a watch. If you expect a full movie, you'll be disappointed. It's basically some music videos with dramatic interludes. As for me, I was disappointed. I say skip it. You're better off not knowing the 84 minute movie you watched was just a dream. Spoilers. Oh well.

The Monster Squad (1987):

The Monster Squad (1987):

“A young group of monster fanatics attempt to save their hometown from Count Dracula and his monsters.”

5 kids team up take on 5 classic monsters! As a kid, I thought the funniest scene in this movie was a kid kicking Wolfman in the “nards”. But, now I think my favorite scene is when some kid's dad shows up, and just shoots Dracula's vampire bat form! They spend all that time building up the kids, and the Dad just shoots Dracula!

Now, on to the plot. Van Helsing tried to rid the world of monsters 100 years ago, but the opening crawl says “They blew it.” So, now the monsters are in the 1980s US, wreaking havoc. Luckily, a kid who loves horror movies lives next to a German guy who can read Van Helsing's old book that will banish the monsters.

Some good monsters here. You got Frankenstein, Dracula, Wolfman, The Creature from The Black Lagoon, and The Mummy. The Mummy just unravels once a kid sticks his leg bandage to a stop sign with an arrow. Wolfman is just shot by a kid wearing a leather jacket, and of course Dracula is just shot by the kid's dad. Frankenstein teams up with the kids after befriending the little girl in the squad.

It's the little girl who reads the German magic spell. She's helped by the German guy. (Credited as “Scary German Guy”.) All in all, I liked this movie, and it was a pretty fun way to end spooky season. There's a lot of jokes that would probably be considered inappropriate for a kid's movie today, including a running gag where they have to ask one of the squad girls if she's a virgin.

But, if you turn your brain off, and remember it's “PG for the '80s”, it's a good time. I still couldn't help but wonder: If some of the monsters can just be shot, why did they need the magic? Oh, well. I guess that's the funniest part to me. It's free on YouTube. Give it a watch!

Young Frankenstein (1974):

Young Frankenstein (1974):

"An American grandson of the infamous scientist, struggling to prove that his grandfather was not as insane as people believe, is invited to Transylvania, where he discovers the process that reanimates a dead body."

Here's something a little different. It's a comedy-horror from Mel Brooks. A young Dr. Frankenstein (pronounced Frankensteen at first.) tries to avoid his grandfather's legacy of creating monsters. But, finds himself drawn back in when he receives an invite to Frankenstein's castle in Germany.

Much of the humor here is physical comedy and wordplay. “Walk this way!” Igor (pronounced EYE-gor) the hunchback says, and Dr. Frankenstein starts walking like him. Later, when they dig up a brain Igor picks up an “Abby Normal” brain. Frankenstein shows off his creation in a silly dance number that always cracks me up.

Then, when he's booed and starts being chased by the mob, the doctor decides to switch brains with the monster (for reasons given through adult innuendo.) The monster gains his intellect, and the doctor gains the monster's enormous...body parts. (To the surprise of his beautiful assistant Inga, played by Terri Garr.)

You have to give credit to everyone in this movie, but it wouldn't be the same without Gene Wilder as Young Frankenstein. He can go from cold man of science to raging maniac in a second, proclaiming such lines as “My grandfather's work was doo-doo!” with the utmost gravitas. Anyway, if you have time this spooky season, give this classic a watch. It's great fun!

EVIL OF DRACULA: (A.K.A. JAPANESE DRACULA) (1974):

EVIL OF DRACULA: (A.K.A. JAPANESE DRACULA) (1974):

A teacher comes to a school where Dracula is principal! I have a couple thoughts on this one. It's a fun watch. They seem to save most of the scary bits for the end. Most of the soundtrack is smooth jazz. It's very Japanese and very 1970s.

So, Dr. Shiraki is pursued by The Principal's undead wife, and then later, Dracula. On top of this, one of his students falls in love with him. She reacts strangely some ink blot tests, and then starts bleeding. Most the action takes a while to get to. But, if you can stick with it, I recommend it! If you like to watch people get chased by vampires while cavorting to smooth jazz, this is a fun Halloween treat.

Dead Space (1991):

Dead Space (1991):

"A deadly virus attacks the crew of a Saturn space station."

Here's a weird film. When a flesh-eating virus nearly kills everyone in a space station, a scientist (Bryan Cranston/Dr. Frank Darden.) gets the idea to combat it with a metamorphic virus that can shapeshift and take on biological forms.

Meanwhile, a shipwrecked mercenary (Commander Krieger/Marc Singer.) and his robot companion help investigate the murders going on at the station, trying to restore power to his own ship. Great use of puppets, and music.

My only complaint is, they keep shooting at the creature, after saying several times that bullets can't hurt it. Other than that, a decent sci-fi horror/mystery. It keeps you guessing how they'll defeat the creature. Watch it if you have time.

Lily C.A.T. (1987):

Lily C.A.T. (1987):

“The expendable crew of a corporate space vessel must stop a murderous shape-shifting alien organism that somehow got on board.”

“The corpses have disappeared, leaving everything - even their underwear – behind!” Dular says, after his crew members have been eaten by an alien virus. I mean, it is a good mystery, but probably ruined by early anime dubbing. All the dialogue sounds so choppy and fast as they struggle to sync their lip movements. Other than that, it's pretty much John Carpenter's The Thing mixed with the futuristic setting of Ridley Scott's Alien.

See, there's a cat brought on board by Nancy. Quickly, everyone around the cat dies, and there are reports of an alien virus getting through the air ducts. What's discovered later is that the virus was carried by the cat because humans are “expendable”. So, the Syncam Corporation (who owns the ship.) is probably just evil. Why else kill an experienced crew with a Computerized Animal-shaped Technological robot? (Cat, get it?)

Anyway, you should probably skip this one. But, but I did find it enjoyable in terms of action. The mystery is given away in the title. The choppy English dubbing is way too distracting, and the plot doesn't actually make much sense, other than they're trying to mix Alien and The Thing. Just enjoy the crew getting picked apart by the alien/C.A.T.

The 1980s were an ambitious time for Japanese anime, especially as it expanded overseas and took on American influences. It is at least enjoyable if you turn your brain off, and accept it as a relic of its own time. There are interesting ideas sci-fi discussed such as cryogenics, relativity, and how the crew only ages 1 year every 20 Earth years. But, these details never pan out to anything, and only a few members survive as it rushes to horrific ending.

THE TERMINATOR (1984):

THE TERMINATOR (1984):

“A human soldier is sent from 2029 to 1984 to stop an almost indestructible cyborg killing machine, sent from the same year, which has been programmed to execute a young woman whose unborn son is the key to humanity's future salvation.”

The Terminator is one of the greatest sci-fi action films of all time, mostly thanks to Arnold Schwarzenegger as the killer robot. Kyle Reese is sent to protect Sarah Connor from his rampage. And the cyborg doesn't spare anybody. He shoots up punks, anyone named Sarah Connor, cops, and even tracks Sarah down to a hotel where she thinks she can be safe. But, she's not, because the Terminator will never stop until she's gone.

Time travel shenanigans ensue though here. You see, if Kyle Reese wasn't sent back from 2029, then the leader of his resistance wouldn't be born. It doesn't really work out. But, oh well, the action is good. Plus, it gave us the greatest sequel of all time, Terminator 2: Judgment Day. The cyborg comes back to protect John Connor, who will lead the resistance against the robots.

If there's one thing that dates this film, it's not just the robot puppets, it's the fear of machines and computers. I wonder if a film like Terminator would be as effective today. But, Arnold Schwarzenegger makes such a good monster killing machine that it's hard to look away. Definitely watch it, but for the great action scenes. Everything else is kind of stuck in time. But, I like that.

Lawnmower Man (1992):

Lawnmower Man (1992):

"A simple man is turned into a genius through the application of computer science."

An intellectually disabled man has his intelligence boosted through VR technology. He soon takes revenge against those who bullied him. He gains telekinesis and telepathy. Eventually, he plots world domination through the computer world.

It sort of takes a hard turn turns scifi horror when Jobe gains his powers. VR looks dated now, but the ideas are still relevant. Like how much bullying someone can take, and how the tables are turned when Jobe has power. I liked it. Check it out. It's free on Tubi.

Night Hunter (1996):

Night Hunter (1996):

"Vampire hunter Jack Cutter must fulfill his destiny and destroy the last of the bloodsucking creatures of the night before an unholy disaster strikes."

Jack Cutter is the last in long line of vampire hunters. After killing a few vampires in one L.A. restaurant, he is chased both by police and by other vampires. Free on Tubi!

Escanaba in da Moonlight (2001):

Escanaba in da Moonlight (2001):

"A macho man in a family on the eve of deer-hunting season must deal with the eldest son's curse of never having bagged a buck."

Wacky hunting buddies must appease a Native American god while on a deer hunting trip. Hijinks and hauntings ensue in this very strange dark comedy. Free on Prime. Check it out.

Yoga Hosers (2016):

Yoga Hosers (2016):

"Two teenage yoga enthusiasts must do battle with an evil presence that is threatening to rise from its underground lair and endanger their major party plans."

Canadian teens battle monsters made of bratwursts, and Satanists while working at a convenience store. All so they can close up and go to a party. This is a pretty wild one. Check it out, eh?

Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies (2014):

Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies (2014):

"Famous Wrestlers are pitted against hordes of undead when they unknowingly walk into a death trap."

Pretty good. Roddy Piper, Kurt Angle, and others vs. an undead army. Gotta love Piper sleeperholding a zombie, and beating them with a toaster. Piper truly is one of the greats. He gives 100% in every movie he's in. Low-budget, but great fun.