SILICON DREAMS (2021):

SILICON DREAMS (2021):

“It’s 2065, and you are an interrogator-model android tasked with rooting out deviants among your own kind. You must probe for lies, monitor and exploit emotional spikes, earn the trust of your subjects, and make the final call: release, or destroy?”

-Steam Synopsis

So, I managed to get an ending for Silicon Dreams. It's sort of like a visual novel/cyberpunk mystery game. You work for a mega-corporation KRONOS Robotics. They send in Androids who are malfunctioning. Getting emotional, violent, in love, feels human, etc. You interrogate them until you find out what's wrong, and make recommendations whether to reset, kill, or keep the android as is. So far, so good.

Later on in the game, you learn about rebel groups of androids that want to be human, or in love, and doctors or teachers that want to help them, and you're supposed to either hunt them down or join the resistance. That's supposed to be the game's moral dilemma. The problem is, (for me.) some of the game's mechanics directly conflict with getting a “good” moral ending.

In order to stay employed at KRONOS, you have points out of 100. If your score falls low enough, you can't stay in the game. So, on a certain level, you have to maintain points just to keep playing. And, although we're told in-game by various Androids or humans that KRONOS is evil, and they control them, etc., I just never saw enough evidence that KRONOS was evil to care. At a point, you can just start doing your job just to finish the game.

It certainly doesn't help when the rebel androids or humans start threatening you, hacking androids and planning to bomb KRONOS multiple times. I will say, there's a lot I agree with tonally in the game. I get that maybe I'm supposed to feel like KRONOS is evil, and manipulating robots and people. I just wish the rebels...and the Androids that want to escape, were less violent and whiny. It's not a moral dilemma, it's just called having a job.

For example, an android comes in. We know she's been working with a scientist to help Androids escape. I'm trying my best to keep her calm (The game registers emotions like “Fear” “Anger” “Joy” “Disgust”.) Well, none of that mattered, because she blows herself up when you ask about removing her hard drive to get the scientist's location, after cursing the company.

Frankly, the game just feels like a checklist to me. I know what I'm supposed to feel, but in the end I didn't care. Another time, my score fell so low, for misdiagnosing Androids that KRONOS started to suspect that I was part of the resistance. Well, I wanted to keep my job. So, I went into interrogation myself, gave all the safe, pro-KRONOS answers, and boom, reputation back up to 80.

In the end, an android comes in threatening to release a video proving androids have emotions. Which is fine, I guess. Wouldn't have particularly mattered to me. But, of course, it turns out, he has a bomb in his stomach. Well, now I'm going to disarm the bomb and arrest him. This of course, got me to the pro-company ending, where I became assistant to the Vice President of KRONOS. I never really felt one way or the other about the company. I just wanted to finish the game.

I guess I wanted to help humans and rebels, but I also wanted to keep playing, in which case, you need to stay employed. By the way, if an android started showing excess emotion, I usually just reset them. Which sometimes got me in trouble with the company, either because a customer was dissatisfied, or the android had evidence the company needed on rebels. But, again, I just kept doing my job, giving pro-company answers, and completing my diagnostics, and I could keep playing.

I don't know. I don't really recommend the game, unless you really like those scenes in Blade Runner where they're diagnosing androids. That's clearly what this game was inspired by. But, I just didn't see enough evidence of the “evil corporation” being evil for me to care about androids that claim they want to be human, or any of the rebels. I did have plenty of androids try to bomb me, or hack me. So, mostly I just did my job for KRONOS. As far as I could see, the only evidence that KRONOS was evil, was that they are a mega-corporation, not that they directly interfered in the lives of androids or consumers.

I wish I could recommend the game. I love robots, Blade Runner, and sci-fi. But, this has all the moral subtlety of an angsty teenager. It's hard to care for rebels when they're constantly violent. It's hard to care for androids who want more emotions when they are clearly unstable. Again, I can't help feeling that they were supposed to be more sympathetic. That KRONOS was supposed to be wrong. But, I had to keep up my points to keep playing. Oh, and also rebels kept bombing me, and androids kept hacking me. So, maybe that had more to do with it.

In conclusion, the game has some neat mechanics, but fails in that it has black-and-white moral dilemmas. By the end, I would just whiff entire cases just to move the game along. I get that it wants to be about big issues, moral dilemmas, inducing emotions, etc. All you need to do is keep up your points. It's a classic case of “show, don't tell”. It's hard to believe the corporation is evil, no matter how many times you tell me...when it was the rebels who actively tried to kill me.

What was the worst KRONOS could do? Deactivate me? Big deal. Rebels and androids had tried that already. I just gave my answers, and kept playing. I wish I wanted to play again. I don't. But, if you do, it's on Steam. Maybe it would've meant more to me if I were a teenager. I don't know. But, I got one play-through, and that was enough for me.

Top Ten Fighting Games And Beat-Em-Ups:

Top Ten Fighting Games And Beat-Em-Ups:

Final Fight is probably the first beat-em-up game I remember playing in the arcade. It was just so cool. Waves of punks coming after Haggar and Cody and they just beat the crap out of them with wrestling moves and karate. It didn't make much sense, but it was so cool. The continue screen with the dynamite was so dramatic that it still sticks in my mind as one of the greatest continue screens of all time.

Next up is probably Street Fighter II. It combined everything that was awesome about karate movies and action movies, then made it into an international fighting tournament. Each fight was different, and the fighters had such personality and cool moves that I always enjoyed seeing how each fight would play out, even if it was just me holding forward and heavy punch, it all just looked so badass and became a cultural phenomenon.

After that, I'd have to say X-Men the Arcade Game was top-tier. It was like playing a version of the 90s cartoon. Nobody cared that the characters were actually from the 1989 pilot episode. It was enough to trash sentinels and then stomp on them, and use your mutant power to clear the screen. The mutant powers always felt so impactful and powerful, especially if you were low on health, and cleared the screen to save the day.

Number 6 is a tough call, but I think I'm gonna have to give it to Peacekeepers on SNES. It's cool for the same reasons X-Men Arcade was cool, except ramped up to 10. So, there's a superhero team, and they're taking on monsters and mutants with karate moves and huge wrestling slams. Even bigger if they're in “Angry Mode” and they just launch the bad guys. Plus, each character has their own attacks, special attacks, and super special attacks, so it's all really satisfying to keep beating on baddies, which is important because that's all you do in beat-em-ups.

This one probably a little more obscure: Saturday Night Slam Masters for SNES. It was a wrestling game that combined wrestling with beat-em-up mechanics, instead of the total clickfests that most wrestling games were at the time. The grapple system was still a clickfest, but they were on their way out. Cool special moves, tournament fighter-style and a memorable cast meant that I could keep playing. It probably started my love of wrestling games.

Number 4! Oh well, that's gotta go to Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers. I can still play this game and enjoy it. Plus, it introduced some of my favorite characters like Cammy and Fei Long! It blew my mind that they just put the boss characters in there. It's like they said forget it. Just put everything that made Street Fighter cool into one game. And the world is better for it.

Marvel vs. Capcom 2 was the same next-level kind of insanity. Only now they let two characters tag-team together and unleash all kinds of crazy special moves, assist attacks, and hyper combos with a few easy button presses. This game was always pure eye candy. Did it make sense that little Mega Man could body slam Captain America? No, but it was so cool nobody cared. It was worth it to see them all on the screen together.

Oh, gosh. What's at Number 2? Super Street Fighter 4! I love that on the touch-screen version they let the player unleash super moves and super combos with a simple poke! Sure, it was the same animations over and over, but it meant there was a level playing field and wasn't a combo and clickfest. Plus, it still has most of my favorite characters like Cammy and added Juri Han! I can always still pick up and play this one.

Number 1 is BlazBlue: Continuum Shift! A great cast of colorful characters, big colorful attacks, and a complex, crazy anime-style narrative make this game my favorite. They put a lot into this game, including story modes, tournament modes, and branching visual novel-style presentation. This many ways to play plus such cool moves for each character means I never get bored of it!

Bonus: Lastly, the perfect way to end the 90s fighting game craze! In 1999, there was Tekken Tag Tournament. The inputs were easier, the characters were cool (You could play as a dinosaur!), it was easier to do combos, they let them tag between each other, each with their own crazy moves. Plus, they even added an unlockable bowling mode, which automatically makes it my favorite. How many other fighting games have a bowling mode?

Orion Trail (2015):

Orion Trail (2015):

“Dare to travel the absurd and dangerous Orion Trail, where only the luckiest, bravest, and most stubborn captains will make it all the way to the end. Become famously incredible or incredibly dead in this single player choose-your-own-space-adventure!”

The Star Trek parody game that mixes Oregon Trail with board games, and...well, Oregon Trail mechanics. The name of the game here is funny stuff happening. You start off by selecting 4 crew members (Officers) who will influence your stats (Diplomacy, Bravado, Tactics, Science, and Attack.) From there the game takes on resource management mechanics (Crew, food, fuel, and hull.) and works like a board game.

Each space you “move” takes fuel and food. Sometimes you'll have random encounters that will add or take away skills and resources (Lost your lucky underwear -1 Bravado. Took a martial arts class +1 attack, etc.) The meat of the game however is funny encounters when you get to planets. Whether it's dealing with annoying party aliens or the villainous “Underbaker”. Each scenario gives you a choice of how to proceed, with each solution using a stat.

For example, if you're dealing with the Underbaker, the attack solution is to blast him. The dialogue solution is to get him to cut a deal with you, the tactical solution is to get him talking, and disable his bakery, and the bravado solution is to steal his chef hat. Each one of these then turns into a probability out of 10. So, if you have 6 bravado, or whatever, 6 squares will be ok, 2 will be failure 1 will be complete failure and another will be complete success. Of course, the higher your stats, the more chances you have for success.

So, the game is all resource management and probability with comedy mixed in. Some of the events parody Star Trek directly like evil clone planets, and some parody other elements like Rogue AI, or a planet full of Michael Jackson Thriller zombies. Willy Wonka's factory and giant space malls are also part of it. Just make sure not to get lost in the giant space mall.

The goal of the game is to reach the space station at the end, where you receive your title based on how many successes or failures you had, and what stats you most used. For example, mostly successes will earn you the adjective “Admirable ____” So, if you used bravado, you'd be “Admirable Rule-Breaker”. Or “Unfortunate Scientist” if you used mostly science and got failures.

There are 6 missions (boards) to use, each one harder and longer than the next. I mostly like this game, since the emphasis is on probability and funny stuff rather than skill. I can always have a good time, even if my resources run out and we all die, at least it'll be funny. The same stuff kind of happens on every board, you get used to it after a while. But, there's enough random elements to keep me coming back. Check it out!

Street Fighter II: Special Champion Edition (1993 Sega Genesis):

Street Fighter II: Special Champion Edition (1993 Sega Genesis):

“The Mega Drive/Genesis version, titled Street Fighter II': Special Champion Edition and released as Street Fighter II Dash Plus (stylized as Street Fighter II′ Plus) in Japan, was released on September 27, 1993 in North America, September 28, 1993 in Japan, and October 29, 1993 in Europe. It is the first of two Street Fighter II versions for the console and is in a 24 megabit cartridge. A six-button control pad was made primarily for it.” -Wikipedia

Ok, so, the classic experience of Street Fighter II for me was always on the Super Nintendo. I wanted to try something different. So, I went for Street Fighter II: Special Champion Edition on Sega Genesis. Well, right off the bat, you can tell things are compressed down. The graphics are a bit smaller. The sound palette is a bit more “farty”. I mean, you'll get blips and squeals where some music and sound effects cut out.

Other than that, the name of the game here is speed. Just like in Street Fighter II Turbo, it introduces a speed mechanic which can be toggled up or down in the main menu. It's called hyper here, instead of turbo. I ran a basic E. Honda play-through, because his moves are easy for me to do. Anyone can press punch fast. It was ok, other than the farty sound palette.

This was right before my favorite game in the series. Just a year later, Street Fighter II: The New Challengers would release. In Champion Edition, you do get to play as the 4 bosses. Sagat, Balrog, Vega, and M. Bison are all available. They didn't introduce Cammy, T. Hawk, Deejay, or Fei Long until 1994.

Overall, they're some good ideas were here. I just prefer the Super Nintendo experience. Although, I get that they were going mostly for speed. The playable bosses are nice. But, knowing that The New Challengers would include both them and new fighters makes the game feel a little limited. I'll bet it was good for its time. In my opinion, you can probably skip this one and play either Street Fighter II Turbo or Street Fighter II: The New Challengers.

Pirates! Gold (1993 Sega Genesis):

Pirates! Gold (1993 Sega Genesis):

“The player can play as a pirate, privateer, or a pirate hunter. It features sword fighting, ocean-faring battles, and land battles as its three main arenas of action, connected by role-playing which allows the player to court the favor of local politicos, romance women, and recruit pirates in the local pub.”

-Wikipedia

Pirates! Gold is an amazing game. It's a pirate sim, complete with different ships, towns, treasures, quests, and abilities as you sail the Spanish Main in the 17th century. First you choose your “captain”. This is the player. You can choose what ability you have, you can change your name, (Sidney is the default name.) and your nationality: English, Dutch, Spanish, or French.

Your abilities are fencing, charm, gunnery, or navigation. You only choose one. Fencing makes your sword strength better. Charm lets you get married more easily. Gunnery makes your cannons more effective. Navigation can help you weather storms and not crash on reefs. (And that happens a lot.)

Well, once you've started, you can sail around and attack ships or towns, capturing and plundering, or you can hunt for treasure. You can gain letters of marque to fight on behalf of any of the 4 European nations. So, when you capture enemy ships or towns, you can do so in the name of England, or whoever. This is usually the way I play. It's just too fun.

But, you have to keep your crew happy and well-fed or else they can desert and mutiny. Things that make them happy are like successful attacks or appropriate ship size vs. crew size. (You can capture a large variety of ships, including Galleons, Frigates, Sloops, or Merchant Ships, among others.) Of course, finding treasure makes them happy. You can buy treasure maps at local taverns throughout the Caribbean, sometimes.

Press “C” in sailing mode to check out all your maps, and figure out wherever the heck you are in the Spanish Main. You can also pinpoint places on the Spanish Main map. Often, you'll run into other ships you can choose to engage in combat or sail away. Once in sea combat, you can try to sink enemy ships or capture them. You can also fence the enemy captain by crashing your ship into theirs and boarding.

Other than attacking towns and sinking or capturing ships, you can complete quests too. These include capturing another pirate, getting married, finding lost cities, robbing treasure fleets, finding treasure, or finding each one of the members of your captain's long-lost family. Completing each one of these effects your score at the end when you divide up all your gold. Every game is different.

Some endings are more spectacular than others. If you have a lot of gold, and complete a lot of missions, you can ultimately become a pirate governor or King's Advisor if you do really good. Others include Rich Banker, Rogue, Fleet Admiral or even Beggar or Pauper, if you do really bad. Since I don't do a lot of missions, I usually end up more on the bad side. But, it's more fun to me just to sail around and attack things, rather than figure out where such-and-such lost city is from unmarked maps.

My usually bad final scores aside, Pirates! Gold is an still an amazing game. It looks and sounds great. Frankly, I'm surprised it runs on a Genesis cartridge. If you have access to a virtual Sega Genesis (or Sega Megadrive as the Genesis is known in Europe.), or even a physical cartridge, give it a try today. You won't regret it! I can play this game all day still.

Stupid Zombies (2013):

Stupid Zombies (2013):

“A man, a shotgun and a bunch of zombies. You're humanity's last hope, and it's your job to keep them in line. Adjust your shots and angles, and watch your bullets bounce from wall to wall, elegantly cutting off the arms and limbs of each zombie.”

Stupid Zombies is one of those time-waster puzzle games where you clear each stage by aiming and shooting until all the enemies are gone. Each puzzle gets harder as you progress. It's like Angry Birds, but with zombies and monsters. The main character is stationery, and you take out all the enemies as best you can.

You have different ammo, different obstacles, and different monsters as you continue. For example, one level you might have bomb ammo, bouncing ammo, or there might be boxes or glass in the way of the monsters. Some levels have traps you can activate like exploding barrels or crates that can eliminate zombies. But, no good Angry Birds-clone is complete without microtransactions (a.k.a. pay-to-win.) and star rankings.

Each Stage has 360 levels. You can unlock 4 stages. You unlock stages by getting a certain score (Up to 3 stars each.) on each level depending on how good you did. Each has their own unique settings and traps, but are essentially difficulty settings. So, Stage 1 is relatively Easy, Stage 2 is Normal, Stage 3 is Hard, and Stage 4 is Expert.

You can, of course, just pay for airstrikes that automatically clear a level. A pay-to-clear attack is a grand tradition of Free-To-Play Angry Birds clones. But, I'm not doing that. I like my Free-To-Play games to actually be free. So, in conclusion, it's Angry Birds with zombies. It won't win awards, but it's a fun, mostly free way to waste time. Check it out!

Broforce: Broforce Forever Update (2023):

Broforce: Broforce Forever Update (2023):

“The free update to the world's most patriotic video game is out now! New Bros! New Baddies! New Challenges! Play the entire campaign again. And again.”

Broforce added some new characters earlier last year. Let's talk about them. Broffy the Vampire Slayer is obviously Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Her special is holy water which can resurrect her if she dies. It also kills demons. But, since I never got to the levels inside Hell, it's not very useful; she throws wooden stakes instead of shooting. The resurrection aspect is neat.

Seth Brodell is Seth Brondell from The Fly. He vomits acid for his attack. The acid is pretty powerful, and can even kill bigger enemies like the Bruiser in one shot. Plus, he can fly for a little bit with a double-jump. He can use teleportation for his special, which is nice to zip around and clear up challenging spots.

Speaking of challenging, Demolition Bro is another Sylvester Stallone character, from Demolition Man. He throws bombs, but not like the McGyver bro, where it automatically just works. No, you have to attack once to throw the bomb, then attack again to detonate it. Thank goodness he's got a standard melee attack. His special's pretty good though: a bomb that freezes everyone around him.

Bro Gummer is Burt Gummer from Tremors. He's got a big high-powered sniper rifle with a nice kick. Honestly, he feels a little overpowered. His special is sniper mode. It's like Brobrocop's special targeting attack, letting you select and take out several enemies. Except Bro Gummer's is way more powerful.

Next up, we have Xebro, Warrior Princess (Xena: Warrior Princess.) She can attack with a sword like Brolander and Broheart. For her special, she throws her chakram. (Her steel boomerang thingy.) It kills everyone around her and returns to her. Also, as with the Mad Max Bro, you can collect multiples of their special attack items. So that's nice!

Desperabro is obviously Antonio Banderas's character from Desperado. He can make enemies dance, by playing the guitar if you stand still. His melee attack is his guitar. He shoots two shotguns. His special is to call in his buddies with a rocket launcher and a machine gun! He has a lot of ways he can be useful. I think he's my favorite of the new bunch.

Of course, Broforce is still fun to play. There were even some minor changes to classic characters like Bronoversial Soldier (Universal Soldier.) He now shoots rapid shots, and his special has been updated to not only a resurrection ability, but also now his special scares nearby enemies, which is helpful.

Well, I just wanted to talk about the new characters. Definitely, my least favorite of the new bunch is Demolition Bro. Which is unfortunate, because that's a great action movie. Regardless, it's still fun to blow everything up and run-and-gun everywhere. It's Broforce's thing. And that's why I can play Broforce: Forever...forever!

Broforce (2015):

Broforce is a pixelated run-and-gun that is an homage to American action movies. Each hero or "Bro" has their own weapons and special abilities. For example, Rambro (Rambo) can throw grenades, while Brommando (Arnold Schwarzenegger's Commando) fires a rocket launcher with a special attack that fires three missiles. My favorite bro is probably the duo pair known as The Boondock Bros (Boondock Saints), because not only do they both have to be killed for you to lose a life, but their special ability is resurrection. That comes in handy because as you progress the game can get really hard.

You start off just blasting terrorists in the jungle, and rescuing Bros. The bro parody names are funny sometimes, but sometimes they don't even try. Bro Hard should be John BroClane for example. But, others are pretty funny like The Brofessional (The Professional) and Brobrocop (Robocop). Honestly, I just like blowing stuff up sometimes. Your goal is to get to the chopper at the end of each level. Except when you just have to kill a boss. Everything around you blows up or is destroyed when you shoot at it. Even that can be pretty fun.

The fun and humor of the game count for a lot. I never did get much farther than the later buzzsaw trap levels. But, the fast pace and ultra-masculine satirical humor of the game is enough to keep me trying. At the end of each level, you have to kill mini-Satan and raise the USA flag for the chopper to come. But, I see that on the last level, Satan turns into his final beast form and throws fireballs that take up the whole screen that you have to run from while shooting at him. Holy cow! Other levels include aliens and underground enemy bases.

You can also design your own levels in the level editor. Mix and match your enemies and power-ups! Create your own obstacles! Screw around and shoot everything. It's a good time.

Ultimately, I think Broforce has enough challenge and fun to make it infinitely replayable. Though some levels are definitely not my favorite, like the Rail Fortress boss. However, once you beat a level, it's always really satisfying to see everything blow up, and hear that victorious heavy metal guitar riff. Try playing Broforce anyway you can. It's a blast whether you're playing solo or with your bros!