Connected Hearts: Visual Novel (2017)

Connected Hearts: Visual Novel (2017):

“Gary is caught in a strange dream and now he must overcome the adversities on his path or perish in the attempt. In this adventure you will meet 3 children in dream-like scenarios, next to a mysterious girl who talks about a promise.” - IMDB, “Connected Hearts: Visual Novel”

So, I played Connected Hearts: Visual Novel. I mistakenly thought it would be a romance visual novel, but instead it's a surreal fantasy adventure. That said, the story is pretty good for the adventure story that it is. There are 2 drawbacks immediately though. One is that it's obviously translated from Russian, and there are a lot of typos, and phrases that repeat. (Get ready to read “I swallow saliva...” a lot. I'm guessing they meant gulp, which they actually write once; much to my relief.) But, I guess in the end, the surrealism of the adventure drew me in.

It starts like a romance visual novel. A guy named Gary dreams of a girl, but then discovers that he can travel between dream worlds. He can't wake up. So, each dream world has a child that you're supposed to protect from a dream world monster. You teach them about growing up, facing their fears, embracing their talents, etc. So, it's pretty solid, storywise. Let's get to the plots.

There are 4 dream worlds. The Forest of Whispers (misspelled as Wishpers, but not a dealbreaker.) was the first one I entered. There are wolves there that insult you, and look scary. If you run from them, you'll discover the first child, Mary. She's alone and scared and her cabin is all she knows of the world. You tell her to be brave, and enter a maze where you just keep going in circles.

You soon discover the wolves don't actually do anything. They just insult you. So, you guide Mary to the exit, having conquered your fears. The next world is the Kingdom of the Sun, where strange robot-like inhabitants wear masks and live in fear of people from the “real world”. Their king, Henry, is a talented young boy who built the kingdom from his mind. You have to convince him reality is worth facing. You can't just isolate yourself inside your fantasy.

After that, you escape his robot guards, and return to the dream world hub. The next story I chose was Into the Deep. In this one, a young boy called Royer is trapped on a boat with vicious mermen. Some of the decisions you have to make here to survive, like not hiding from the monster, and “throwing” your lead pipe at a Merman (Did they mean swing?) are all pretty good for the “face your fear” theme. But, I think this one was my least favorite. The robots in The Kingdom of The Sun were the coolest.

Having done all that, you can then visit Alice's Castle. Alice is the girl Gary sees in a dream at the start of the game. Here, you find notes about “Director Heart”, and psychological test subjects all demonstrating a particular phobia. I can guess that Alice created the “dream worlds” to trap Director Hearts' children. Her phobia is chronophobia, and the entire game has been about maturing and confronting fear. So far so good, translation issues aside.

This last bit is where the game loses me. After you confront Alice, she asks you if you remember a promise you made to her. You say no. She says to remember the promise, you have to dream again. Then, the game repeats! I can easily guess, based on her choronophobia, that the promise was never to grow up, or to stay with her forever, or something like that. Something antithetical to the game's theme of maturity and bravery. Maybe I'll finish the game later, but I'm not playing through the same game again right now just to get the “real ending”.

All in all, Connected Hearts: Visual Novel is a strong fable-like story, with a good central message, and vivid imagination that helps it through some of its shortcomings. I still think the title misleads you into thinking it's a romance novel, and not a surreal adventure to save the Heart children. I'll finish it eventually, and I do recommend it, but right now I need a break. There's only so many times I can read Russian-to-English typos, and the novelty of the fantasy story has sort of worn off. That said, I do reccommend at least one playthrough.

The typos weren't the dealbreaker. I'll come back to it. I guess I just don't like games that repeat. It just strikes me as padding out the game. Particularly, when they are full of scenes I just played through. It's exhausting. For now, I need a break. But, It's free on Steam. Check it out!

Doki Doki Literature Club! (2017):

Doki Doki Literature Club! (2017):

"Hi, Monika here! Welcome to the Literature Club! It's always been a dream of mine to make something special out of the things I love. Now that you're a club member, you can help me make that dream come true in this cute game! Every day is full of chit-chat and fun activities with all of my adorable and unique club members: Sayori, the youthful bundle of sunshine who values happiness the most; Natsuki, the deceivingly cute girl who packs an assertive punch; Yuri, the timid and mysterious one who finds comfort in the world of books; ...And, of course, Monika, the leader of the club! That's me! I'm super excited for you to make friends with everyone and help the Literature Club become a more intimate place for all my members. But I can tell already that you're a sweetheart—will you promise to spend the most time with me? ♥"

So, this is actually a creepy anime that pretends to be a high school romance game until its horror elements are slowly revealed. There's a girl that commits suicide, a girl who slowly wastes away, a girl who's totally into stabbing, and a girl who takes over your game until you delete her character file. Once you know it's actually a horror game, (Spoiler alert.) the joke wears off really quickly, and you just click through all the forgettable dialogue to get to the next girl. Can't recommend.

I, Tonya (2017):

I, Tonya (2017):

“Competitive ice skater Tonya Harding rises amongst the ranks at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships, but her future in the activity is thrown into doubt when her ex-husband intervenes.”

Well, I learned a lot watching this movie. I was very young when Tonya Harding's trial was going on, and I don't remember too much of it. I remember it as she herself who attacked Nancy Kerrigan in 1994. Turns out, it was her abusive husband's friend of a friend who was pretending to be a top counterterrorism expert. What a wild and intriguing story.

Margot Robbie plays Tonya Harding, from her training with her controlling mother at age 4, to right up until she's BANNED for life from skating after “the incident”. She allegedly just meant to scare her competition off. But, her ex hires a wannabe hitman to break her leg. Tonya goes back to being a waitress. Later, she's approached by an agent who wants to recruit her for Team USA in 1994. Then, she gets in after Kerrigan is taken out, and then the court case begins.

To ensure that she wins, her then ex hires a wannabe CIA goon to take out Nancy Kerrigan, her competition in Team USA. It's a wild story. Like I said, I always thought she did it herself until I saw this movie. I had no idea how many people were allegedly pushing her, (even her mom.) and how forced she was into figure-skating. I think she should've just been a hockey player. That's just me. She had the talent and anger issues.

Ultimately, it's a story of narcissism and abuse. Everyone abuses everyone. Everyone acts tough and has insecurity. I liked how it showed what happened, and how it showed Tonya Harding as a human. She's vulnerable. Even though her boyfriend at one point calls figure-skating her “superpower”, she's not a superhero, or a monster. She's a human. This is the best biopic I've seen in a while. If you have time, give it a watch!

JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE (2017):

JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE (2017):

“Four teenagers are sucked into a magical videogame, and the only way they can escape is to work together to finish the game.”

I'd like this movie a heck of a lot more if it stopped winking at me to tell me what videogames are. I get that there might be people in the audience who don't understand, but every action beat is interrupted by explaining what skills are, what characters have what skills, what lives are, etc. It's like playing Super Mario Bros and every time before you jump, you have to ask: “Wait...I can jump that high?” Well, no. But, your character can. We understand this.

That said, the actors do a great job with what they're given. Four high school students bodyswapped into highly charismatic videogame characters is a good comedy-action setup. Unfortunately, most the humor is based around them forgetting their special skills and abilities as characters. Conversely, most the action is based on them remembering their in-game skills and abilities.

I guess it worked in the original Jumanji (1995) because board games all have different rules, and you had to read what happens on every square. Videogames have established conventions. Which are explained here. (They have to return a jewel to a jaguar mountain, and say “Jumanji!”) But, every time the videogame characters explain something like who has what skills and weaknesses/strengths, it's like the actors are saying: “Hey! We're acting!”

Now, that said, this film is loaded with star power. That alone is half of what makes it fun to watch. I'll watch anything with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in it. It's just a shame that most the action boils down to “I can't do this, I'm an awkward teen! Oh, wait. Yes, I can! I'm in a videogame.” I mean, Jack Black and Kevin Hart are funny as popular teens turned into support characters, but that's just the reverse joke.

So, do I recommend watching it? No. It's a fun movie, but all the action beats and jokes are one-note. It's a movie that, in my opinion, thrives on star power. The movie's videogame design robs any action scene of tension, since we know they've got 3 lives and special skills for any confrontation. The comedy is so ham-fisted, if they cast anyone else in it, I wouldn't watch. But, because they did get Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Dwayne Johnson, and Karen Gillan, it suddenly becomes slightly enjoyable. That's a testament to their abilities and star power more than the movie itself.

Harley Quinn and Batman (2017):

Harley Quinn and Batman (2017):

“Batman and Nightwing are forced to team with the Joker's sometimes-girlfriend Harley Quinn to stop a global threat brought about by Poison Ivy and Jason Woodrue, the Floronic Man.”

Harley Quinn and Batman team up to stop Poison Ivy. Batman's former sidekick Nightwing finds Harley working as a waitress in a cosplay-based restaurant, and figures she knows where Ivy is. Harley says she wants to just live a normal life. Eventually they tickle each other, and decide to work together.

Now, usually the DC movie universe doesn't like to make fun of itself. But, this is a Harley Quinn comedy. So, it's much more slapstick and fart jokes than the usual Batman fare. I kind of liked it. They have fun. They sing karaoke before they find out where Ivy is, thanks to a tip.

Turns out, Ivy is in Louisiana working with Floronic Man to turn all life into plants. Harley pleads with Ivy, and is able to convince her to stop. But, she can't stop Floronic Man. She tells Batman that if he's just made of plants, they should be able to just burn him. (In comically whispered dialogue.) Nightwing and Batman kiss her cheek, and that's all folks.

It's pretty good for a DC animated movie. Especially for a DC comedy. You definitely have to be in the mood for this one. I don't know. Watch it with some snacks. Be prepared for fart jokes. If you like Harley Quinn, and have a good sense of humor, you should enjoy.

DEATH RACE 2050 (2017):

DEATH RACE 2050 (2017):

"Five long decades after Death Race 2000 (1975), in the overpopulated United Corporations of America, the annual Death Race is about to begin. This time, Frankenstein is up against no-nonsense challengers. How many points will he score?"

This is more or less a soft reboot of Death Race 2000 with a new cast of racers. It keeps the original overpopulation/game show setup. The new racers are Jed Perfectus, a genetically-engineered racer, Minerva, who is a rapper, an AI named Abe, and stepping in for the Nazi gimmick of the original (Matilda The Hun in 1975.) we have Tammy The Terrorist.

It's pretty much the same film. The good news is, if you liked the old one, you'll like this. However, for some reason, some of the characters just don't stick out for me. The rapper is a one-note joke. As is Dr. Creamer/ABE (the ole “Girl has sex with robots joke”.) It's a schlocky B-Movie action comedy. Jed Perfectus is no substitute for young Sylvester Stallone.

I recommend it for being a modern take on the classic movie. Malcolm McDowell is in it as The President. Give it a watch if you have time. Turn your brain off and enjoy the stylized game show hyper-violence. A good tribute, but the original was still better.

Yamasong: March of the Hollows (2017):

Yamasong: March of the Hollows (2017):

"An automated girl and tortoise warrior journey with a band of outlaws on an incredible quest. Their one hope is to find a legendary relic to defeat a sinister mechanized army and save the creatures of their world."

Nani the automated girl's heart beats so fast that it causes the prison moon housing the Hollows (robots) to plummet into planet Yamasong. Now, it's up to Nani and her friends to stop the Hollows from turning everyone into a soulless robot.

Great puppet work here from Brian Henson. An all-star voice cast! A crazy alien planet! My only complaint is that thematically, it's like The Dark Crystal, with souls being sucked out by an evil army, so if you didn't like that, you won't like this. Otherwise, check it out! Free on Tubi!

The Circle (2017):

"A woman lands a dream job at a powerful tech company called the Circle, only to uncover an agenda that will affect the lives of all of humanity."

Basically, Mae (Emma Watson) joins a social media company, The Circle, that removes any privacy from people's lives. Like, people willingly submitting themselves to 24/7 surveillance. Probably doesn't age well, but is strange for the idea that social media could become a sinister cult. Check it out!