Ninja Scroll (1993):

Ninja Scroll (1993):

Ninja Scroll is about Jubei, a ronin who just wants to be left alone after finding out his old friend Lord Genma, has become the Dark Shogun, leader of the Eight Devils of Kimon. All that changes after a government spy named Dakuwan poisons him with a ninja star, forcing him to go on a quest to defeat the Eight Devils to receive the antidote.

This is just good anime fun. Plenty of gore, sketchy content, and an anti-hero protagonist with a “devil-may-care” loner attitude. This is the anime that showed me what anime was all about. Back when the only other anime I'd caught on TV where Sailor Moon and DBZ, though I knew a little bit about Street Fighter and videogames.

Speaking of videogames, each fight here with a Devil is structured like a videogame boss fight, but there are no incessant power-ups like DBZ or Sailor Moon. Just each Devil with a specific power, and weakness. There's a rock guy, a guy with bees, an exploding lady, a blind samurai, a snake lady, a guy with an electric cord, and Genma among others. He simply has to find a weakness in each, and defeat them.

Along the way, Jubei meets up with Kagero, a Kuga clan ninja girl with poison in her body. She helps Jubei after being attacked by one of the Devils. She has a unique ability to poison whoever she “gives her body” to. So, that's an exciting use of her ability. She also has ninja abilities like magic blossoms she can summon.

Overall, Ninja Scroll is edgy, exciting, and fast-paced. Each fight is well-structured, bloody, and awesome. The visuals are great, and the hero is a smarmy anti-hero who isn't on your typical shonen power-up quest. He just wants peace, nothing phases him. He's a chill guy, which makes the battles more exciting. If you have a chance, check it out. It's a must-watch anime!

TMNT (2007):

TMNT (2007):

“When the world is threatened by an ancient evil, the four adolescent turtles must reunite and overcome their faults in order to stand against it.”

I have no idea why someone thought it was a good idea to make a Ninja Turtles movie take place after they defeated Shredder. Part of it takes place in Central America. You have hundreds of villains, characters, and plots to choose from in the TMNT universe. What they decided was to use a standard villain named Winters, and slowly introduce Dimension X, while back in NY, the turtles struggle with menial jobs.

Leo disappears to Central America to learn how to be a better leader...or something. Raph is a superhero vigilante called Night Watchman. Mikey becomes a party clown. Donatello lands a job in IT. It's kind of fun...for a one-off joke, not bringing together the whole team for the entire run-time.

Anyway, monsters start appearing in NY thanks to Winters and a Central American tablet which makes a portal appear. Stone soldiers and mutants start attacking. This is just about the only good fight scene we get with all the turtles fighting as a team. The rest of the movie is them rescuing Leo from the monsters.

It does have a few redeeming qualities. There's a fight scene between Raph and Leo. That was pretty good. The voice actors are pretty good. Patrick Stewart is Winters. Chris Evans is Casey Jones. Mako plays Splinter. It's free on Netflix, but absolutely skip this one, since it's trying to set up franchise sequels we know never happened. I think there was a videogame, but otherwise what a waste of some good ideas.

NINJA KNIGHT THUNDER FOX (1988):

NINJA KNIGHT THUNDER FOX (1988):

“A private detective uses her considerable martial arts skills to seek revenge after an organized crime syndicate murders her beloved sister.”

Another kung fu B-Movie that's only good if you have a good sense of humor. There's clearly two movies spliced together here. That's why our main characters never meet. One character is a detective named Brad. He has his office decorated in Coca-Cola signs and Sylvester Stallone posters to give you the impression he's in America, and not Hong Kong. His mission is to collect evidence that Bonnie's sister was kidnapped.

Now, Bonnie just kicks butt. Her sister was kidnapped, and she goes out to a bar, beats up all the goons with huge meat-slapping effects, and finds out where their base is. She then takes a motorbike and a harpoon, and just tears up the place. She even wears a Rambo-type headband. Though she has a hilarious habit of choking bad guys right after she demands: “Answer my questions! Where is she?”

You'd think that Bonnie would be the one to get magic ninja powers with all her skills. But, you'd be wrong. They gave the ninja magic to Brad. Who's on a completely different mission. Twice he transforms himself into a ninja, and starts backflipping and catching bullets. It's good stuff, if they could ever decide what weapons Brad actually uses. Some shots he has a sword, then a gun, then nothing.

Overall, it's pretty good for a cut-and-paste kung fu film. If anything, it's unintentionally funny. Bonnie's scenes are legitimately action-packed. Brad scenes have Halloween store ninja costumes and magic. It's free on Tubi, so I recommend it. Give it a watch if you can.