King of The Dragons (1991 Arcade/1994 Super Nintendo):

King of The Dragons (1991 Arcade/1994 Super Nintendo):

“Set out on a great adventure in a fantastical world to defeat Gildiss, the mighty Red Dragon, and save the kingdom from darkness!” – Steam

King of The Dragons is a fantasy beat-em-up that came to Super Nintendo in 1994 (As I remember it!), ported from the 1991 arcade game. It was just like playing a good hack-and-slash DnD game. I still remember a lot of the bosses, characters, the level design, and the great music that made it all unique and part of my formative DnD experience, even though it wasn't directly related to the DnD games. I just want to talk about it.

You start off by selecting your character who's on a quest to slay a dragon. There's a fighter, a cleric, a wizard, a dwarf, and an elf. The elf has the best range. The dwarf has the least range. The cleric is okay, and the wizard is a gamble, since with every level his attack spell, and thus range, also changes. Your weapons level up after every boss fight, but for some reason...I guess for the added challenge, you can also not pick up new weapons and let them disappear.

The first boss fight is the Orc Chieftain. He's got two chain whips and you have to stay in the middle of him while taking out baddies in the forest. Then, the Minotaur who charges every so often after swinging a giant axe. Then, the wyvern, who you attack in the sky, so if you don't have good range, you're just doomed unless you're really good at jumping attacks, or have a lot of magic. The hydra is pretty sneaky with it's multiple heads shooting different things out. I could go on, but really, all of the bosses are are so good, and tough. I usually die right before the giant spider on my own.

Later on, there's a cyclops, a giant spider, a dragon knight, a dark wizard, and of course, King of The Dragons, Glidiss. Each boss has its own trick to beat, but it can still be pretty tricky, if you waste a lot of health getting to them. Heck, I still can't beat the game on my own. But, a lot of the enemy designs, and level designs like spooky giant spiders in the forest, the cyclops who throws rocks, or the shifty mermen still influence many DnD campaigns today.

The settings and music are phenomenal for the 16-bit era. I feel like, in any beat-em-up, since you'll be attacking and doing the same things a lot, the sound can make or break the experience, and boy, does King of The Dragons go all out from the first level onward. Even the character select screen music feels like an epic quest, the level up sound “Wooo!” let's you know you just became more powerful, the magic screen-clearing lightning attacks or frog orbs that turn all your enemies into frogs (BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!) or (RIBBIT, RIBBIT!) feel satisfying and strong.

There are a few minor things I don't like about the game, but they're not deal-breakers. I still like it. I hate the slime enemies that capture you and drain your health. I hate the freeze spell that freezes you until you click really fast to get out of it. I hate the mimic treasure chests that bite you and you have to click really fast to get them off. Basically, I can never click fast enough to avoid them, and that always dooms me during a solo run. I do better as player two!

Despite all the annoying little enemies, it's still a great game, and its music, settings, and characters keep me coming back to it again and again to try to slay Glidiss. Taken together, all the good parts of the game make it an unforgettable experience of an epic DnD quest! Just make sure you pick the elf, in my opinion. Unless he's taken, then just pick the next best-ranged character. Check it out, if you can!

Cards and Castles 2 (2023):

Cards and Castles 2 (2023):

“Collectible cards spring to life in this wacky Tactical CCG. Assemble a deck to challenge your friends and rivals, and engage in glorious CARD BATTLES! Will you choose fearsome dragons, or the deadly squirrels?”

This game is a collectible card game (CCG) that is all about using a cutesy and funny art-style for a war-based card game. It reminds me a little bit of Card Wars from Adventure Time. There are 6 factions. Vikings, Ninjas, Undead, Bestial, Thieves and Heroes. The Vikings can summon berserkers, land sharks, and war penguins, among others. The forces of Nature (Bestial) can summon Archers, Trees, and battle squirrels. It's all about being silly and weird.

But, the game isn't without strategy. I still haven't really built a good deck up yet. Sometimes you can build buildings that give cards more health or attack. Or if you're the Ninja or Thieves faction, you can set traps so that when your castle is attacked, it hurts the other player. The object of of the game is to destroy the other player's castle.

As with most of these deck-building games, there comes a point where it just comes down to luck of the draw and how powerful your cards are, but that's how they draw you in. You might be doing good one minute and then someone draws a card that destroys everything in your deck. That's just how these games go. A cutesy art-style can only mask so much grinding.

I'm not a fan of huge grinds in games, so I usually just stick with the Vikings so far, unless I'm completing a mission that calls for another faction. They can use Dwarven weapons and armor, and have good heroes, like some guy named Björn. Plus, they're the first faction you start with, so it's easier for me just to start there and build outward.

Look, I wish I could say I liked the game more, I'm not against the “Git Gud” philosophy, but there's too much grinding for my tastes. Single-Player Quests are ok, even a bit challenging. After a while, you're either too overpowered for Single-Player, or too under-powered for multiplayer. But, as I said, I still haven't really built up a good deck. I can't really recommend it, but if you don't mind the grind, check it out.

Drifting Home (2022):

Drifting Home (2022):

“Follows two childhood friends who drift into a mysterious sea with an entire housing complex.”

Childhood friends check out an old apartment building they grew up in before it's scheduled to be demolished. They soon end up in a magical sea along with the demolished house, drifting on it like a boat with the rest of their sixth grade friends. The two main characters are Kosuke and Natsume, who grew up together with Kosuke's grandpa in the old apartment.

We soon discover there's a stowaway in the floating apartment, Noppo who everyone thought was Natsume's imaginary friend. Yuzuru, a girl, is scared of Noppo and thinks he's a ghost at first. He says they've been friends for a long time. There's more truth to this than meets the eye.

It's not all just about the friends, but also returning home, and the drama between Natsume and Kosuke. Natsume blames himself for his grandpa's death, and so refuses to accept the parting gift from his grandpa, a camera. Meanwhile, it's revealed that Natsume had an abusive childhood, so she had to move into the apartment.

They raid other drifting apartments for snacks, food, and fresh clothes. Eventually, Natsume cuts her knee getting into a vending machine and they have to make get bandages from a floating drugstore. They also collide with an old floating carnival, where Yuzuru first developed her love of theme parks.

Kosuke accepts the camera and starts taking pictures of all the old buildings. Here's where it gets really magical. As it turns out, Kosuke spots “things” growing out of Noppo's arm. Plants! Noppo reveals that he's the ghost of the old apartment, and the magical sea is a graveyard for old buildings. If he doesn't join them, they can never return home.

I enjoyed this movie. It's a magical meditation on memories and the cycle of pain and joy, death and rebirth. (Samsara.) Once they let go of their grief, they experience joy, and return home magically. Kosuke takes pictures. Noppo can finally return home. If you have a chance watch it. It's a great anime drama on Netflix!

Slay The Spire (2019)

Slay The Spire (2019):

"It's a combination of roguelike-like gameplay with a deck-building card game. It requires players to develop a strategy for their deck on the fly based on the cards they can obtain from loot.”

Slay The Spire is basically a Souls-Like game with cards. You begin the game by selecting a class. Your class determines what skills and abilities (Cards) you have. There's The Ironclad. He's your Tank character with heavy attacks. There's The Silent. He's your Rogue (DPS: Damage-per-Second.) guy with quick attacks and good abilities. There's The Defect, your “Mage-Type”, with weak attack but heavy on spells and abilities.

The one class I haven't gotten yet is The Watcher. But, I assume it's a support-type character. The Monsters you face are fierce, and can do lot of damage usually, just like a Souls-Like. You'll need to balance your block and attack cards each turn. If you don't block, you're dead. If you can't attack, you're dead.

Some monsters can attack and exhaust your cards or steal your cards. Some mini-bosses have special abilities like reflecting attacks back at you or just dealing truckloads of damage. But, fear not. each level of the Spire is like a board, and each defeated monster drops loot. Not every space on the board is a monster encounter. You can have mystery encounter spaces, where something happens whether it's meeting a demon who curses you, but gives you abilities, or a gambling game that can get you new cards. (Or something like that.) Each such space is usually random.

You can also buy potions, cards, and abilities from merchant spaces if you land on them. My favorite spaces though, are campfire spaces. Here, you rest and heal, or upgrade your cards, making their effects more powerful. These are usually good before boss fights or mini-bosses. You can either rest, or upgrade. You cannot do both.

Overall, it's a good game. A tough game. You die a lot. But, it makes me want to replay each time to see if I can do better. I always want to get better cards or try a different class. “Git Gud”, as the gamers say. Give it a try. Check it out on Steam.

The Boy And The Heron (2023):

The Boy And The Heron (2023):

“A young boy named Mahito yearning for his mother ventures into a world shared by the living and the dead. There, death comes to an end, and life finds a new beginning.”

Well, I might as well explain my experience of another Hayao Miyazaki movie. I've read a lot of articles saying that this will be his last movie, and it feels like a farewell. To be honest, I think he's been saying every movie will be his last movie since about 2013. We'll see if he makes another movie, but I'm not going to write another post dissecting the farewell symbolism.

With that in mind, the message I got from this movie is that birds are evil. All jokes aside, it's a movie about a boy who discovers a heron who leads him to a tower where his mother who died might still be alive but as a young girl. Birds try to eat him. None of this logic is explained. I think we're just supposed to accept that this fantastical adventure takes place because it is a fantasy movie.

The boy (named Mahito.) tames the heron with a bow and arrow. He then reveals himself to be a shapeshifting dwarf spirit. They go to a lighthouse where a woman guards a fire spirit who might be his mother. There, the birds eat spirits of people yet to be born into the world. He finds his mother protecting the lighthouse with fire magic.

A burned crane explains to him that they are trapped on the island of the dead, and the spirits are all they have to eat. Meanwhile, the parakeet king tries to come into the world of the living, and every bird tries to eat Mahito. They meet a wizard who might be his reclusive uncle in the other world, who tells him he must stay or the balance of the world will be destroyed.

Before the parakeet king can break into the other world, he says goodbye to his mother so she can stay behind, and he can return and she can be reborn as his mother again. If it's about anything, it's really about the cycle of death and rebirth through the mind of a child. And yes, I know it's based on a popular Japanese children's book. But, honestly, I think even without that context, it's still a fun watch...overall, I'd say check it out.

Cupid (2015):

Cupid (2015):

“Love is both poison and cure, both knife and remedy.“

"Rosa's best friend, Catherine, is dead and she is sure Catherine’s betrothed, Marquis Guilleme is to blame. Mother says so. Mother says he has to pay with his life. Although, she knows by now Guilleme is no ordinary man. He is tainted. A monster. He cannot be killed by usual means. To seek the best revenge, she must find out all his secrets and destroy him. But will her own dark desires consume her or liberate her? No matter. Mother will tell her what to do."

Cupid (2015):

I liked this game. But, I only had the patience to get one ending. The plot is basically about a poor girl and her abusive relationship with her mother and suitor in 18th century France. She is mocked by the court until she's taken in by a nobleman (the suitor.) who actually is Cupid. I found the story unique, but a bit long. Well, I killed Cupid in the one ending I got, and I have no desire to replay. A bit too melodramatic, and a long read, for what it is.

Highschool Possession (2015):

Highschool Possession (2015):

"Hikaru was just a normal young man with a crush on two girls at school, that is until his whole world changed as he literally had to walk in the shoes of his dream girls... Only to find his school idols were not so perfect after all."

Generally, I think bodyswapping is a dumb premise except in Freaky Friday where it teaches teens responsibility and adults to loosen up. But, I actually enjoyed this game. The main character magically swaps bodies with a girl he likes while he's in a coma. Then, he discovers she's being bullied. He tries to help her. How much you help depends on the ending you get. There are a few scenes where you can discover abuse or explore your body more. I just like that the main character helps his crush. I thought that was nice. Check it out on Steam.

Ninja Scroll (1993):

Ninja Scroll (1993):

Ninja Scroll is about Jubei, a ronin who just wants to be left alone after finding out his old friend Lord Genma, has become the Dark Shogun, leader of the Eight Devils of Kimon. All that changes after a government spy named Dakuwan poisons him with a ninja star, forcing him to go on a quest to defeat the Eight Devils to receive the antidote.

This is just good anime fun. Plenty of gore, sketchy content, and an anti-hero protagonist with a “devil-may-care” loner attitude. This is the anime that showed me what anime was all about. Back when the only other anime I'd caught on TV where Sailor Moon and DBZ, though I knew a little bit about Street Fighter and videogames.

Speaking of videogames, each fight here with a Devil is structured like a videogame boss fight, but there are no incessant power-ups like DBZ or Sailor Moon. Just each Devil with a specific power, and weakness. There's a rock guy, a guy with bees, an exploding lady, a blind samurai, a snake lady, a guy with an electric cord, and Genma among others. He simply has to find a weakness in each, and defeat them.

Along the way, Jubei meets up with Kagero, a Kuga clan ninja girl with poison in her body. She helps Jubei after being attacked by one of the Devils. She has a unique ability to poison whoever she “gives her body” to. So, that's an exciting use of her ability. She also has ninja abilities like magic blossoms she can summon.

Overall, Ninja Scroll is edgy, exciting, and fast-paced. Each fight is well-structured, bloody, and awesome. The visuals are great, and the hero is a smarmy anti-hero who isn't on your typical shonen power-up quest. He just wants peace, nothing phases him. He's a chill guy, which makes the battles more exciting. If you have a chance, check it out. It's a must-watch anime!

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023):

I saw the “Mario movie”. It was ok. I mean, I knew it was gonna just remind me of a giant easter egg hunt. But like, parts of the videogame "world" are just other Nintendo games, and Bowser is invading on a flying island. It reminded me of Ready Player One, but funny. But I understand why DK fans didn't like it, because the Kongs are jerks.

It's not that the Kongs don't matter though. It's really about Mario learning to be brave and discovering he's the hero, and yadda yadda. Standard kid's movie stuff. Princess is already brave, because girlboss feminism, but gets captured by Bowser anyway. Ultimately, I feel the same way about it as I do Ready Player One. It's cool, but afterwards there's a feeling of "Did I enjoy this, or was it all just dopamine from bright colors and references?"

Any favorite parts or memorable lines? Well, Bowser tries to hit on Peach, and keeps screwing up. That's pretty funny."I guess love can really make a turtle come out of his shell." One time, Mario says they don't drive on rainbows back in Brooklyn. Really, Jack Black is the part I liked best. I was really pleased with how much they leaned into the 1980s Super Mario Bros Super Show...the Brooklyn origins, the "real-world" commercial uses the Super Show Theme, and they get sucked down a pipe, just like in the show's old rap intro. Sadly, he doesn't “Do The Mario”.

I hear Nintendo wants to make this a Movie Universe. Like the Marvel movies. Which is fine. Anything successful these days becomes a Movie Universe, almost like a law. But, I think I'll need some time before I care about the next Nintendo movie. I'm just kind of dizzy from this one. Fun, but like a sugar rush. That said, I still kind of recommend it. It's a fun little ride. Give it a watch. Hunt down all the little easter eggs. Or just skip it, and go play Mario games.

The Black Cauldron (1985):

The Black Cauldron (1985):

“A young boy and a group of misfit friends embark on a quest to find a dark magic item of ultimate power before a diabolical tyrant can.”

In the land of Prydain, the fate of the world will be decided by a pig keeper! The Black Cauldron is about Taran, a young boy looking after a psychic pig. One day, Taran sees that the pig is acting strangely, and discovers that the evil horned king wants to use the fortune-telling animal to find an artifact that can summon undead warriors. Its name is the Black Cauldron.

Along the way, Taran discovers some friends: Gurgi (a Gollum-like creature who steals things.), a bard (Fflewddur), a fairy, and a princess (Eilonwy), who can use magic. He even finds a magic sword while confronted by the evil king's henchmen. Then, Gurgi bravely throws himself into the Black Cauldron to stop the emerging skeleton army. Later, as part of a bargain with witches, Taran trades the magic sword in order for Gurgi to return to life.

I enjoyed this movie a lot. I might be a bit biased because it reminded me of something like a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, and I like DnD. You've got your standard DnD party (Fighter, Healer, Magic User, Thief.) and they all are on a quest to stop an evil king. I love a good fantasy adventure. Plus, Gurgi really reminded me of Gollum, from Lord of The Rings.

So, I'd recommend this movie if you like both those things. Some neat little additions too, are the voice acting from the late greats Freddie Jones and Nigel Hawthorne! Definitely watch this one on Disney+, if you have time. It's a classic fantasy adventure!

Encanto (2021):

Encanto (2021):

“A Colombian teenage girl has to face the frustration of being the only member of her family without magical powers.”

Encanto is about a magical family, the Madrigals. Every member of the family has a different power except Mirabel, who's never gotten one. When the magical house starts to crack up, she seeks out Bruno, an estranged member of the family with ominous fortune-telling powers who everyone blames for spoiled weddings and various unfortunate events. He's also the subject of one of the best songs: “We Don't Talk About Bruno.”

As the search for Bruno begins, the family members start to lose control of their powers. Strong Luisa becomes weak, Pepa can't control the weather she creates, Camilo can't shape-shift, and turns back into a baby. I thought that was funny. Mirabel confronts Bruno and finds out that she's supposed to embrace Isabela, who's wedding she supposedly spoiled. So, they're not exactly getting along.

After talking and singing with Isabela, she finds out that the grand matriarch Abuela is forcing her into her marriage. She never wanted to marry. Abuela's pain at losing her love was what was cracking up the house. Not much to complain about here. The animation is great, the songs are catchy, and it's a bright and colorful depiction of Colombia. Plus, a great moral about how people are more than their abilities! I recommend it, if you have Disney+!

Green Snake a.k.a. White Snake 2: The Tribulations of Green Snake (2021):

Green Snake a.k.a. White Snake 2: The Tribulations of Green Snake (2021):

“Verta the green snake-demon must find a way to escape from the modern Asuraville of mortals, in order to rescue her elder sister Blanca the White Snake from the demon-slaying monk Fahai.”

“Green Snake” as it was released in America on Netflix, is in fact a sequel to the animated “White Snake” (2019) movie from China. Let's treat it as it's own movie though. After a fight with the monk Fahai, White Snake is sucked into a kind of Buddhist purgatory. Green Snake goes after her. There, she finds that she's no longer in Tang dynasty China, but an amalgam of the modern world and spirit world called Asuraville.

She meets up with Simon and his party, who are hunting down demons led by Mr. Ox. They want to conquer Asuraville, whereas the others just want to return. Old Fox, a spirit with a fox on one side of her head acts as a guide, and explains how to leave Asuraville, by dropping their “tokens of desire” into a pool. Meanwhile, Green Snake might actually have met White Snake (Blanca), reincarnated as a man who's name is never revealed anyway.

Then, when they all gather their tokens, they battle with Mr. Ox again. He finally agrees to leave with them after removing the no-name man's face, for some reason. Then, they battle Fahai again. Green Snake is defeated over and over actually, but ends up in the modern world when she beats Fahai. Green Snake is confused. So was I.

I don't know that I liked this movie. I didn't hate it, but it had way too many side-quests. First it's about Fahai, then find Green Snake, fight demons, then find Green Snake again...it goes on for about 30 mins too long. Plus, I don't like that the action stops just so they can explain the tokens of desire midway through. By the time they got to the 2nd Fahai encounter, I was lost as to what the main story was. Was it to find White Snake, defeat the demons, or get home? Hadn't she done all that before anyway?

I don't really recommend this movie. The animation and battle scenes are good. But, there are just way too many subplots that divert the main story. Maybe it would've made more sense if it weren't presented as a standalone movie. But, in its present form on US Netflix, I have to say skip this one.

Raya And The Last Dragon (2021):

Raya And The Last Dragon (2021):

“In a realm known as Kumandra, a re-imagined Earth inhabited by an ancient civilization, a warrior named Raya is determined to find the last dragon.”

Raya re-discovers a dragon (Sisu, The Water Dragon.) when she lets a “friend” borrow and break her Guardian gem, which unleashes a great evil on the kingdoms of Kumandra. Each kingdom is named after a part of the Dragons. Tail, Spine, Heart, and Talon. She travels the apocalyptic landscape on a giant aramadillo hoping to convince the kingdoms to unite their gem pieces and face the evil smoke monsters, the Druun.

The animation is pretty good. Sword fights and chases replace the usual Disney song and dance numbers, so that's nice. But, other than that, it's a pretty forgettable, by-the-numbers Disney story set in another culture. She meets representatives from each of the tribes, and her former friend Naamari. The last person who has to learn to trust is Raya herself.

All in all, this is the epitome of a better watch with snacks. The sprawling landscapes, characters, and sword fights are good. But, I feel like it could have been better if the plot weren't built around a drawn-out Disney moral, and everything else is go to Point A and Point B. It felt like there was more to the story and characters than find the MacGuffin. But, I guess it's just not my demographic.

Young kids should like it. I appreciate that they did something different from a Disney musical. It's a pretty good fantasy adventure. I enjoyed it. But, I definitely needed snacks to keep my attention. It just felt like it could've been more, but was good for what it was. If you have time, watch it with some good snacks!

Cryptozoo (2021):

Cryptozoo (2021):

“Cryptozookeepers try to capture a Baku, a dream-eating hybrid creature of legend, and start wondering if they should display these beasts or keep them hidden and unknown.”

Well, I guess it helps to know what you're getting into before you watch a movie. I expected this movie to be bizarre, but I didn't expect it to open with two naked hippies getting viciously attacked by a unicorn with South Park-levels of gore. It's a wild movie! Free on Hulu.

From the hippies, we go to our main protagonist Lauren, a cryptid hunter. It's the 1960s, and she's globe-hopping to save mystical creatures. They save Russian storm birds, a satyr, a medusa, and a guy with a face in his chest (voiced by Michael Cera.), to build a zoo for cryptids...Cryptozoo!

One day, she discovers that the Baku (dream-eater) who helped her with nightmares as a kid, and inspired her quest to become a crypto-zoologist, is being held by the US military. So, she gathers her cryptid friends and quests to save her from them. Thus, the movie turns into a sort of mystical spy epic, with tons of gore as the animals and soldiers are both killed/or captured.

I'm not necessarily against violence in movies, I just think I wasn't prepared to watch an officer get eaten by a South American megaworm. Or goblins get shot, or a hippie to be impaled by a unicorn. The general message seems to be that nature wants animals to be free, not used as weapons or entertainment. The animation is psychedelic and 1960s-inspired, so at least it's never boring. Watch it with some snacks, and you'll have fun.

Princess Mononoke (1997):

Princess Mononoke (1997):

“On a journey to find the cure for a Tatarigami's curse, Ashitaka finds himself in the middle of a war between the forest gods and Tatara, a mining colony. In this quest he also meets San, the Mononoke Hime.”

Prince Ashitaka has to stop an evil demon plague from taking over the forest, and his arm. Meanwhile, there's a war brewing between animals and humans. Some people want to destroy the forest spirit. (Mononoke means “forest spirit”) Some want to destroy the humans, and some want to destroy the animals, and let technology grow unrestrained.

Ashitaka wants to bring balance between nature and humans. But, he's got all these obstacles in his way. Luckily, he gains an unlikely ally in San, the human princess raised by the Wolf Queen. He has to unite the animals and convince them to make peace, if it's even possible. Also, Lady Iboshi and her gun-wielding ladies of Iron City (Tatara) have hired a mercenary monk and others to kill the forest spirit.

Of all Hayao Miyazaki's films, this is definitely the most violent. There's tons of action, blood, and war. But, I feel it's all balanced out by the beauty of the Ghibli art style, and the ecological message. This is the anime I usually recommend to friends who are just getting into Miyazaki, since it's more like traditional anime, with the over-the-top level of action.

Of course, the real hero here is the art. It's all hand-drawn, the movements are all slow and human (As opposed to fast and exaggerated, as in other anime.) ,and it really lets you take in the awe of the forest, animals, and nature. As well as showing the horror of war, and the destruction technology can cause when unrestrained. The more the forest is off-balance, the more the evil plague grows. If you have time, it's a fantastic film. Definitely worth a watch. Check it out!

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021):

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021):

“With Spider-Man's identity now revealed, Peter asks Doctor Strange for help. When a spell goes wrong, dangerous foes from other worlds start to appear, forcing Peter to discover what it truly means to be Spider-Man.”

This one will probably have spoilers. I'm sorry. After being accused of killing Mysterio, Peter Parker wants the world to forget he's Spider-Man. So, he goes to Dr. Strange. Dr. Strange uses a spell that pulls from across the multiverse. Except Peter Parker keeps wanting to change it so that certain people remember him.

Doctor Strange warns him not to do that, because the spell will affect everyone. Anyway, they fight and Spider-Man wins. But, as a consequence, he pulls in every villain across every Spider-Man movie since 2002, starting with Doctor Octopus. Their fight is pretty good, except in the end, he doesn't remember who he is. Same with Green Goblin, Sandman, Electro, and Lizardman.

Each villain is fated to die by fighting Spider-Man. But, this Peter Parker wants to prove he's not a killer, so he tries to cure them in the wizard's dungeon. He accidentally gives each villain advanced technology after attempting to cure Doc Ock. Half the fun of the movie is seeing all the cameos, and the in-universe characters trade in-universe knowledge of Spider-Man.

The film deals with themes of redemption and fate. Can villains change for good? Which, for the most part, is no. But, I won't say anymore than that. Comic book movies have to keep getting made. Overall, a good movie! Funny in parts, especially when everyone is sharing what they know and don't know. Go see it, but you don't need me to tell you that!

TERMINAL FORCE A.K.A GALAXIS (1995):

TERMINAL FORCE A.K.A GALAXIS (1995):

“A sacred crystal with god-like powers becomes the spoils in an epic battle between the good, the evil and the incompetent.”

Ok, this is a clear case of there are two different movies here sandwiched together. One is a Terminatoresque scifi plot with a space warrior traveling to Earth to protect a human. (Galaxis). Another is a crime movie based on a dopey adventurer trying to protect his treasure, and he busts some gang lords. Guess which one gets the main focus.

If you guessed the Terminator plot... no. They focus on the dopey (incompetent) adventurer named Jed Sanders. Brigette Nielsen is good in her role as Ladera. She's searching for the “fire crystal” before it falls into the hands of the space wizard Kyla. And protect Jed. She's good in the role, and clearly doing her best stiff Schwarzenegger impression. But, they don't give her enough to do. She doesn't even use her gun that much.

Turns out, the “fire crystal” is actually what Jed calls “The Treasure of the Incas”. They couldn't afford the movie Jed was supposed to be in, so instead we're given the backstory of Jed, by him talking to a guy in a bar. Later, Ladera shows up and beats up the gangsters that now want the treasure. Then, Jed is confronted by Kyla, who bodyswaps with Ladera via illusion and tries to seduce Jed into giving up the treasure.

So, Jed miraculously figures out how to fire Ladera's laser weapon, as the villain is bragging to her about his plan. That's it for the scifi plot. No, really. Kyla's just gone now. The rest of the movie is Jed trying to stop Victor's gangsters; with of course, his buff Amazon space warrior protecting him. One special thing about this movie is that future director Sam Raimi appears as “Nervous Police Officer.”

It's free on Tubi, and there are some interesting ideas in it, but I say skip it. It's just too obviously two short films stuck awkwardly together. They don't give the actors enough time or action to establish their characters. What you're left with is vaguely watchable, but it doesn't have enough crime to be a good crime movie, and abandons its sci-fi plot to focus on another bland character.

Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991):

Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991):

“Dar is a warrior who can talk to the beasts. He is forced to travel to Earth to stop his evil brother from stealing an atomic bomb and turning their native land from a desert into, well - a desert.”

This one is a bit different! The evil wizard Arklon travels through time to 1991. There, with the help of Lyranna, he hopes to get a neutron bomb from a testing facility in L.A. Lyranna pronounces it “Ellay” like it's part of their mystical world. The rest is an action-comedy as Dar The Beastmaster fights through shopping malls to the testing facility to stop Arklon.

Dar is guided through the 1990s with the help of Jackie Trent. It's good satire. People just keep mistaking Arklon for a really eccentric rich person. It's not the serious action high fantasy of the original. But, it is good for a few laughs. Dar still has his beasts: the tiger Ru, the ferrets Podo and Kodo, and the eagle Sharak.

At one point, Jackie asks Dar which ferret is Kodo and which is Podo. He responds simply “Yes.” It doesn't really matter! Marc Singer as always is great as Dar trying to take down his evil wizard brother. If you go into it with the mindset that it's a comedy, I recommend it! But, if you want the serious Beastmaster films, skip it. I like that they tried something different.

Cruella (2021):

Cruella (2021):

“A live-action prequel feature film following a young Cruella de Vil.”

When your villainess is a puppy-skinning madwoman, I say lean into it. But here, she's just a fashionista/thief navigating 1970s London's gala scene. She even has dog companions. This is a pretty good movie, but as a whole it feels really messy, and takes entirely too long to get to the fancy costume battles.

It's a heist movie/comedy/prequel/reboot, but you don't really watch for the plot. You watch for the costumes: the leather outfit, the red dress, the classic Dalmatian get-up, even a garbage truck dress... All very flashy, and eye-catching. I realize they're going for a franchise though. Emma Stone alone could make it work, but just barely.

You see, in this version, it's a revenge plot against her boss who was kinda mean to her in the fashion business. Also, because her boss (The Baroness) is an evil(er?) Disney villainess, she killed her mother. But, I guess in the long run, it only matters that she was kinda mean to Estella (later Cruella.) while she was working her way up the fashion ladder to steal from her.

Acting kinda mean is just how Disney shows class issues. She's poor until she discovers the magical world of fashion. Then, she becomes Cruella, and magically outperforms her mean old boss with the help of friendship, and a boss attitude. It's just that nobody wants to watch mopey Cruella. People wanna see more of her getting justice! I can watch Emma Stone just about anytime, but I really thought the “mean boss” origin was a bit of a reach.

That said, I still do recommend the movie, because I like the 1970s style and soundtrack. I just prefer the old origin story as opposed to the new one that drags on for so long before the action. Watch it with snacks, and enjoy the fancy costumes, though. Then, it's pretty good. If you can stomach the mopey parts. I like the old evil puppy-skinning Cruella, but this one could grow on me, if they make the next movie a little more evil.

EVIL OF DRACULA: (A.K.A. JAPANESE DRACULA) (1974):

EVIL OF DRACULA: (A.K.A. JAPANESE DRACULA) (1974):

A teacher comes to a school where Dracula is principal! I have a couple thoughts on this one. It's a fun watch. They seem to save most of the scary bits for the end. Most of the soundtrack is smooth jazz. It's very Japanese and very 1970s.

So, Dr. Shiraki is pursued by The Principal's undead wife, and then later, Dracula. On top of this, one of his students falls in love with him. She reacts strangely some ink blot tests, and then starts bleeding. Most the action takes a while to get to. But, if you can stick with it, I recommend it! If you like to watch people get chased by vampires while cavorting to smooth jazz, this is a fun Halloween treat.