Orion Trail (2015):

Orion Trail (2015):

“Dare to travel the absurd and dangerous Orion Trail, where only the luckiest, bravest, and most stubborn captains will make it all the way to the end. Become famously incredible or incredibly dead in this single player choose-your-own-space-adventure!”

The Star Trek parody game that mixes Oregon Trail with board games, and...well, Oregon Trail mechanics. The name of the game here is funny stuff happening. You start off by selecting 4 crew members (Officers) who will influence your stats (Diplomacy, Bravado, Tactics, Science, and Attack.) From there the game takes on resource management mechanics (Crew, food, fuel, and hull.) and works like a board game.

Each space you “move” takes fuel and food. Sometimes you'll have random encounters that will add or take away skills and resources (Lost your lucky underwear -1 Bravado. Took a martial arts class +1 attack, etc.) The meat of the game however is funny encounters when you get to planets. Whether it's dealing with annoying party aliens or the villainous “Underbaker”. Each scenario gives you a choice of how to proceed, with each solution using a stat.

For example, if you're dealing with the Underbaker, the attack solution is to blast him. The dialogue solution is to get him to cut a deal with you, the tactical solution is to get him talking, and disable his bakery, and the bravado solution is to steal his chef hat. Each one of these then turns into a probability out of 10. So, if you have 6 bravado, or whatever, 6 squares will be ok, 2 will be failure 1 will be complete failure and another will be complete success. Of course, the higher your stats, the more chances you have for success.

So, the game is all resource management and probability with comedy mixed in. Some of the events parody Star Trek directly like evil clone planets, and some parody other elements like Rogue AI, or a planet full of Michael Jackson Thriller zombies. Willy Wonka's factory and giant space malls are also part of it. Just make sure not to get lost in the giant space mall.

The goal of the game is to reach the space station at the end, where you receive your title based on how many successes or failures you had, and what stats you most used. For example, mostly successes will earn you the adjective “Admirable ____” So, if you used bravado, you'd be “Admirable Rule-Breaker”. Or “Unfortunate Scientist” if you used mostly science and got failures.

There are 6 missions (boards) to use, each one harder and longer than the next. I mostly like this game, since the emphasis is on probability and funny stuff rather than skill. I can always have a good time, even if my resources run out and we all die, at least it'll be funny. The same stuff kind of happens on every board, you get used to it after a while. But, there's enough random elements to keep me coming back. Check it out!

Cards and Castles 2 (2023):

Cards and Castles 2 (2023):

“Collectible cards spring to life in this wacky Tactical CCG. Assemble a deck to challenge your friends and rivals, and engage in glorious CARD BATTLES! Will you choose fearsome dragons, or the deadly squirrels?”

This game is a collectible card game (CCG) that is all about using a cutesy and funny art-style for a war-based card game. It reminds me a little bit of Card Wars from Adventure Time. There are 6 factions. Vikings, Ninjas, Undead, Bestial, Thieves and Heroes. The Vikings can summon berserkers, land sharks, and war penguins, among others. The forces of Nature (Bestial) can summon Archers, Trees, and battle squirrels. It's all about being silly and weird.

But, the game isn't without strategy. I still haven't really built a good deck up yet. Sometimes you can build buildings that give cards more health or attack. Or if you're the Ninja or Thieves faction, you can set traps so that when your castle is attacked, it hurts the other player. The object of of the game is to destroy the other player's castle.

As with most of these deck-building games, there comes a point where it just comes down to luck of the draw and how powerful your cards are, but that's how they draw you in. You might be doing good one minute and then someone draws a card that destroys everything in your deck. That's just how these games go. A cutesy art-style can only mask so much grinding.

I'm not a fan of huge grinds in games, so I usually just stick with the Vikings so far, unless I'm completing a mission that calls for another faction. They can use Dwarven weapons and armor, and have good heroes, like some guy named Björn. Plus, they're the first faction you start with, so it's easier for me just to start there and build outward.

Look, I wish I could say I liked the game more, I'm not against the “Git Gud” philosophy, but there's too much grinding for my tastes. Single-Player Quests are ok, even a bit challenging. After a while, you're either too overpowered for Single-Player, or too under-powered for multiplayer. But, as I said, I still haven't really built up a good deck. I can't really recommend it, but if you don't mind the grind, check it out.

What Is A Visual Novel?

What Is A Visual Novel?:

“As a genre, "visual novel" is not defined by a mechanic or an aesthetic, but rather a distinctive presentation: VNs focus on presenting a text-based story using click-through text boxes, accompanied with static character graphics, and usually feature little to no actual gameplay.”– TVTropes.com

What is a visual novel? I guess the best way to describe a visual novel is like a virtual book that you read and occasionally make choices in that effect the story. But, then things get a little more specific. For example, many fighting games have “story modes”, which have larger plots connected to each character through a series of fights. Also, many role-playing games have story elements.

The main difference is that a visual novel is told mostly through text like a book instead of graphics. There can be graphics, but the story isn't told through the graphics, necessarily. But, then it gets even more complicated when you mix genres like fighting game-visual novels. The story is mostly text, and player decisions effect the plot, with an added fighting game mechanic.

This difference between “story mode” in most fighting games vs. fighting game-visual novels is mostly about how player decisions effect the plot. For example, if you lose fights in a traditional fighting game, you can't progress. The fights are the main game. In fighting game visual novels, losing a fight would effect the outcome, but the story text would continue. The text is the main mechanic, not the fight.

Then, you have kinetic novels, where there is no game at all. No choices are made by the player. It's a book in videogame format. You read it. There are no multiple endings, and there are no side mechanics. I don't really play visual novels that don't have gameplay. I like to make choices.

I just wanted to make this post because I've been posting about visual novels. And I realize that not everyone knows what they are. My favorites are Katawa Shoujo and short comedies like Leave Mr. Bear Alone. But, even some games like Blazblue, a story-heavy fighting game, have visual novel modes that are pretty fun. Like books, they can be any genre, not just dating games. If you have time today, look for a visual novel on Steam. You'll find something you like!

Leave Mr. Bear Alone (2023):

Leave Mr. Bear Alone (2023):

“A Visual Novel about a bear that kinda just wants to be left alone.”

Leave Mr. Bear Alone is a funny visual novel designed by one guy. It's a short one. Reportedly, it's 500 words. The only way to win is to leave Mr. Bear alone. But, the catch is to read more of the story, you have to follow Mr. Bear. So, he gets more and more annoyed, until you lose.

You see, whenever you choose not to follow Mr. Bear, you win. But, the story ends. It'd probably be a good party game or prank game. It takes about 20 minutes. You can follow Mr. Bear through the lake, to his house, or throw a party in the woods for Mr. Bear...but he really wants you to leave him alone.

Give it a try. It's not too long. But, you're gonna lose a lot. Mr. Bear really wants to be alone. Don't follow him. He's gonna be mad. This is pretty funny. Mr. Bear will say things like “Oh, you just COULDN'T LEAVE ME ALONE!” Make a party game of it, and see who can follow the longest. At least it's funny.

Broforce: Broforce Forever Update (2023):

Broforce: Broforce Forever Update (2023):

“The free update to the world's most patriotic video game is out now! New Bros! New Baddies! New Challenges! Play the entire campaign again. And again.”

Broforce added some new characters earlier last year. Let's talk about them. Broffy the Vampire Slayer is obviously Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Her special is holy water which can resurrect her if she dies. It also kills demons. But, since I never got to the levels inside Hell, it's not very useful; she throws wooden stakes instead of shooting. The resurrection aspect is neat.

Seth Brodell is Seth Brondell from The Fly. He vomits acid for his attack. The acid is pretty powerful, and can even kill bigger enemies like the Bruiser in one shot. Plus, he can fly for a little bit with a double-jump. He can use teleportation for his special, which is nice to zip around and clear up challenging spots.

Speaking of challenging, Demolition Bro is another Sylvester Stallone character, from Demolition Man. He throws bombs, but not like the McGyver bro, where it automatically just works. No, you have to attack once to throw the bomb, then attack again to detonate it. Thank goodness he's got a standard melee attack. His special's pretty good though: a bomb that freezes everyone around him.

Bro Gummer is Burt Gummer from Tremors. He's got a big high-powered sniper rifle with a nice kick. Honestly, he feels a little overpowered. His special is sniper mode. It's like Brobrocop's special targeting attack, letting you select and take out several enemies. Except Bro Gummer's is way more powerful.

Next up, we have Xebro, Warrior Princess (Xena: Warrior Princess.) She can attack with a sword like Brolander and Broheart. For her special, she throws her chakram. (Her steel boomerang thingy.) It kills everyone around her and returns to her. Also, as with the Mad Max Bro, you can collect multiples of their special attack items. So that's nice!

Desperabro is obviously Antonio Banderas's character from Desperado. He can make enemies dance, by playing the guitar if you stand still. His melee attack is his guitar. He shoots two shotguns. His special is to call in his buddies with a rocket launcher and a machine gun! He has a lot of ways he can be useful. I think he's my favorite of the new bunch.

Of course, Broforce is still fun to play. There were even some minor changes to classic characters like Bronoversial Soldier (Universal Soldier.) He now shoots rapid shots, and his special has been updated to not only a resurrection ability, but also now his special scares nearby enemies, which is helpful.

Well, I just wanted to talk about the new characters. Definitely, my least favorite of the new bunch is Demolition Bro. Which is unfortunate, because that's a great action movie. Regardless, it's still fun to blow everything up and run-and-gun everywhere. It's Broforce's thing. And that's why I can play Broforce: Forever...forever!

Broforce (2015):

Broforce is a pixelated run-and-gun that is an homage to American action movies. Each hero or "Bro" has their own weapons and special abilities. For example, Rambro (Rambo) can throw grenades, while Brommando (Arnold Schwarzenegger's Commando) fires a rocket launcher with a special attack that fires three missiles. My favorite bro is probably the duo pair known as The Boondock Bros (Boondock Saints), because not only do they both have to be killed for you to lose a life, but their special ability is resurrection. That comes in handy because as you progress the game can get really hard.

You start off just blasting terrorists in the jungle, and rescuing Bros. The bro parody names are funny sometimes, but sometimes they don't even try. Bro Hard should be John BroClane for example. But, others are pretty funny like The Brofessional (The Professional) and Brobrocop (Robocop). Honestly, I just like blowing stuff up sometimes. Your goal is to get to the chopper at the end of each level. Except when you just have to kill a boss. Everything around you blows up or is destroyed when you shoot at it. Even that can be pretty fun.

The fun and humor of the game count for a lot. I never did get much farther than the later buzzsaw trap levels. But, the fast pace and ultra-masculine satirical humor of the game is enough to keep me trying. At the end of each level, you have to kill mini-Satan and raise the USA flag for the chopper to come. But, I see that on the last level, Satan turns into his final beast form and throws fireballs that take up the whole screen that you have to run from while shooting at him. Holy cow! Other levels include aliens and underground enemy bases.

You can also design your own levels in the level editor. Mix and match your enemies and power-ups! Create your own obstacles! Screw around and shoot everything. It's a good time.

Ultimately, I think Broforce has enough challenge and fun to make it infinitely replayable. Though some levels are definitely not my favorite, like the Rail Fortress boss. However, once you beat a level, it's always really satisfying to see everything blow up, and hear that victorious heavy metal guitar riff. Try playing Broforce anyway you can. It's a blast whether you're playing solo or with your bros!

Tron (1982):

Tron (1982):

“A computer hacker is abducted into the digital world and forced to participate in gladiatorial games where his only chance of escape is with the help of a heroic security program.”

Tron is a very interesting movie. It's about computer programmer, Kevin Flynn, who gets zapped into the computer world while programming his game, Space Paranoids. The Master Control from The Dillinger Corporation has grown tired of assimilating corporate data, and wants to add the data of people and nations to itself. So, it abducts Kevin and puts him inside the game room, which is designed like an old gladiatorial arena where deleted programs usually compete for freedom. Kevin is the first human to be zapped inside the computer.

Inside the computer is a very weird and surreal early 3D environment. The programs all wear neon outfits that are blue or red for good or evil. It almost reminds me a little of German Expressionism, in that abstract shapes and colors convey emotion inside a twisted reality. Once inside, Kevin becomes somewhat of a messiah figure. The programs look at the Users like gods. And the Master Control only wants to add to himself.

It tries to punish Kevin by making him compete in the games, but he goes off grid with his allies Tron, RAM, and Yori. Tron outruns some tanks sent after them. Because Kevin worked on the game, he can pilot some of the vehicles meant for other games too. Tron uploads this data to his disk, which all programs have, which they'll need to defeat the Master Control. They come to a pool where they can replenish their data like water after the chase, but RAM dies, or rather, “de-rezzes”.

Before he disappears, Kevin gains control of a glider called a Recognizer, which he can pilot like an arcade game with a joystick. Kevin brings Tron and Yori to an unfinished part of the game, but since he programmed it, he can get through. Meanwhile, Tron and Yori have to get through the control tower guard who resembles the User DuMont to talk to Kevin and join up with him.

They find the real DuMont being tortured by Master Control in a room full of red, tortured programs. Finally, Tron challenges the head slaver Captain Sark to the disk-throwing game, and slices his brain open. It's actually quite a grizzly scene, even in 80s CGI. Flynn challenges the Master Control and helps Tron, as a program, add all his data disk to Master Control, freeing the system. All the lights turn blue, and the programs are free.

Overall, Tron is pretty great. It's a little goofy in its use of computer terminology, but I like the strange operatic feel it all has. If programs were alive, they'd probably see us as messiahs. And I like the gladiatorial story this opens up to the viewer...even if it is a little cheesy, it does raise good points. Does Machine serve Man, or does Man serve Machine? It's high-concept sci-fi.

And in the end, the Machine (Tron and his friends.) is helping us, the Users. (Kevin Flynn.) Meanwhile, the 3D gives it a sort of mesmerizing dream-like quality, so it's never boring to watch. I'd say if you have time, give it a watch. It's free on Disney+!

Sword Art Online (2012):

SWORD ART ONLINE (2012):

"In the year 2022, thousands of people get trapped in a new virtual MMORPG and the lone wolf player, Kirito, works to escape."

Sword Art Online is what happens when you let evil people design videogames. You see, on its launch date the players of the virtual MMO Sword Art Online are trapped inside the game with no way to log out, other than beating the game. (As the evil game creator informs them.) Soon after joining a guild however, our hero, Kirito, decides to beat the game solo. But, is that even possible?

But you see, Kirito has one major advantage. He was a beta tester in Sword Art Online, so he knows where to go to get good equipment, and what monsters to defeat. Well, I guess the game maker trapping 6000 players in a battle royale helps cut down on competition, too. But, he quickly rises through the ranks, defeating dungeon monsters, bosses, even participating in duels. He becomes the game’s notorious loner, The Black Swordsman. Half the fun is watching him battle every boss nearly to the death. If his HP drops to 0, he dies in real life as well as in the game.

For me, the fun is seeing the game elements mix with real world elements. For example, some people decide to play it safe and stay in the game. Others form guilds exclusively for getting back to real life and beating the game, and others are just trolls and player-killers. Things get even more interesting though, when he meets Asuna. She is a high-level guild member who keeps dragging him along on quests.

When Kirito meets her, she scolds him for falling asleep, and not beating the game. Well, they start to hang out, and start a relationship. Soon another question arises. Should they stay in the game, where they have happier and healthier lives, or risk it all to get back to the real world? Where are they even, in the real world? Indeed, it seems at first like they’d be happier in the game. What are they going to do? Meet IRL and marry?

Now, it’s a great show (25 episodes) with lots of twists and turns, sometimes out of nowhere. I like how it brings to life virtual reality issues…such as dying, which is usually no problem in a game…and flips them around by adding real world consequences. The line between the game and reality becomes very blurry. It helps build a world in which you’re invested, but also raises the question: Can/Should he give it all up? Now, Sword Art Online IS his life, and his virtual girlfriend is his girlfriend with whom he has a another life. There’s almost no real reason to go back IRL.

All in all, I like Sword Art Online. It raises good questions about escapism (For example, wouldn’t Kirito rather be the famous Black Swordsman, than some random teen?) the nature of god in the game maker, and the nature of society in how people interact with others, build societies, and guilds. The only thing that’s not very realistic is that there’s only one trolling guild, Laughing Coffin. Thank goodness!

But, overall I give Sword Art Online 4/5 stars for developing an engrossing, beautifully-animated world that raises questions about the value of escapism, with great plot twists! Check it out, if you get the chance. Oh, and don’t let evil people with God complexes design videogames. That seems to be the overarching moral. Ha! But, seriously, it’s a great show to watch!

Lawnmower Man (1992):

Lawnmower Man (1992):

"A simple man is turned into a genius through the application of computer science."

An intellectually disabled man has his intelligence boosted through VR technology. He soon takes revenge against those who bullied him. He gains telekinesis and telepathy. Eventually, he plots world domination through the computer world.

It sort of takes a hard turn turns scifi horror when Jobe gains his powers. VR looks dated now, but the ideas are still relevant. Like how much bullying someone can take, and how the tables are turned when Jobe has power. I liked it. Check it out. It's free on Tubi.

Stranded II (PC+Mac 2007): Game Accessibility Review:

Stranded II (PC+Mac 2007): Game Accessibility Review:

Stranded II is a bit like Minecraft. Except Minecraft lets you build whatever world you want piece by piece. Stranded II appears to be the opposite philosophy. Namely, you have to build what it tells you you can build, and you have no idea what you’re getting as you randomly hit trees or the ground. Every tree you hit, you could get leaves, vines, or branches. There’s no telling what you’ll get whenever you hit a resource…it’s all chance!

    Also, the inventory is ridiculously small. I’ve played this game many times over to see if I could get the hang of it. I eventually did, but I don’t think it made it any more fun to play. The key strategy is to set up structures bit by bit. First, make a hammer by combining 1 branch + 1 stone. Then, click on the hammer and put it in your hand. Right click to build an available structure. Putting the hammer in your hand and clicking repeatedly? You have to do it EVERY time you build something.

Okay, let’s build a shelter: 20 branches, 30 leaves. Since the inventory is ridiculously small, you’re going to hear your character complain: “It’s too heavy!” a lot. So, basically, build the structure piece by piece, meaning once you have the materials, click 50 times (20+30) on the structure, and then, you’ll have it. And that’s the easiest structure to get in the game. Food, water, and fatigue are all measured separately too, rather than Minecraft’s unified hunger meter, so you always have to keep an eye on that.

I respect that the game is based on survival, but does: “Click on this graphically pre-determined structure, while clicking wildly on this tree to see if you can get materials to build the graphically pre-determined structure” sound fun? No, not to me; it’s tedious, and just reminds me I could be playing Minecraft. Minecraft at least let’s me take pride in what I build, because the buildings’ designs are up to me.

And before any Stranded II fans chime in, yes, I built the wood and stone storage. But, I found that, again, the inventory is so small, that I kept having to sacrifice food to carry back logs for the all purpose storage hut. Otherwise, “It’s too heavy!” And I would find that my dropped food would perish after a while, or else I’d just lose track of where I put it.

Now, to make matters worse for non-German speakers, I kept finding bits of the game that were untranslated even in the English version. These were mostly ok. “Alle” means “all” for taking all the materials in front of you. “Eingeborener” means native, as you will sometimes encounter natives. But, there was one German message where, if I didn’t speak German, I’d be toast: “Feuer! Feuer! Ein Gebäude brennt!” In English: “Fire! Fire! A building is burning!” I’d built my shelter too close to my campfire (10 branches+50 stones) and it burnt down.

 Overall, I had some fun with this game. Hunting animals, seeing how long I could survive. But, there are too many random elements in Stranded II, and the building process is way too tedious for my taste when gathering is so difficult to measure and at the same time I have to maintain supplies, and even sometimes avoid lions. Yes, lions. Now, click faster, before they kill you!

I’m posting this to prove a point about disability in gaming. Previously, I lambasted Minecraft for having nearly impossible controls. But, it was still kind of fun to build with, truth be told. But, Stranded II is proof that a game can be perfectly accessible control-wise, and still be bad. Even though most of Stranded II is controlled by simple point-and-click, other problems make the game pointlessly tedious, and the fun dies quickly. Sometimes fun transcends disability issues: If a game’s bad, a game’s bad.

FINAL GRADE: C

ACCESSIBILITY GRADE: B+ (Point-and-click for nearly all actions; some untranslated words, clicking to build gets tiresome.)

FORGIVENESS FACTOR: E (Resource management is incredibly critical; limited inventory space makes survival difficult.)

 CONTROL A-:  (Nearly all interactions are point-and-click; controls can be changed in the main menu.)