Orion Trail (2015):

Orion Trail (2015):

“Dare to travel the absurd and dangerous Orion Trail, where only the luckiest, bravest, and most stubborn captains will make it all the way to the end. Become famously incredible or incredibly dead in this single player choose-your-own-space-adventure!”

The Star Trek parody game that mixes Oregon Trail with board games, and...well, Oregon Trail mechanics. The name of the game here is funny stuff happening. You start off by selecting 4 crew members (Officers) who will influence your stats (Diplomacy, Bravado, Tactics, Science, and Attack.) From there the game takes on resource management mechanics (Crew, food, fuel, and hull.) and works like a board game.

Each space you “move” takes fuel and food. Sometimes you'll have random encounters that will add or take away skills and resources (Lost your lucky underwear -1 Bravado. Took a martial arts class +1 attack, etc.) The meat of the game however is funny encounters when you get to planets. Whether it's dealing with annoying party aliens or the villainous “Underbaker”. Each scenario gives you a choice of how to proceed, with each solution using a stat.

For example, if you're dealing with the Underbaker, the attack solution is to blast him. The dialogue solution is to get him to cut a deal with you, the tactical solution is to get him talking, and disable his bakery, and the bravado solution is to steal his chef hat. Each one of these then turns into a probability out of 10. So, if you have 6 bravado, or whatever, 6 squares will be ok, 2 will be failure 1 will be complete failure and another will be complete success. Of course, the higher your stats, the more chances you have for success.

So, the game is all resource management and probability with comedy mixed in. Some of the events parody Star Trek directly like evil clone planets, and some parody other elements like Rogue AI, or a planet full of Michael Jackson Thriller zombies. Willy Wonka's factory and giant space malls are also part of it. Just make sure not to get lost in the giant space mall.

The goal of the game is to reach the space station at the end, where you receive your title based on how many successes or failures you had, and what stats you most used. For example, mostly successes will earn you the adjective “Admirable ____” So, if you used bravado, you'd be “Admirable Rule-Breaker”. Or “Unfortunate Scientist” if you used mostly science and got failures.

There are 6 missions (boards) to use, each one harder and longer than the next. I mostly like this game, since the emphasis is on probability and funny stuff rather than skill. I can always have a good time, even if my resources run out and we all die, at least it'll be funny. The same stuff kind of happens on every board, you get used to it after a while. But, there's enough random elements to keep me coming back. Check it out!

Interstella 5555: The 5tory of The 5ecret 5tar 5ystem (2003):

Interstella 5555: The 5tory of The 5ecret 5tar 5ystem (2003):

“A continuation of the story told in the Daft Punk music videos "One More Time," "Aerodynamic," "Digital Love," and "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger."”

Interstella 5555 tells the story of an alien pop band who is abducted and given new Earth identities. In effect, it is an anime (French/Japanese with Toei and Daft Life Productions) music video for Daft Punk's Discovery album. Each track provides the sounds. But, the anime does give a nice little narrative touch to an already great album.

The band is abducted from the secret star system after their done they're playing “One More Time”. The concert is invaded, they're gassed, given new identities and memories, and start to play for a devious record producer as The CrescenDolls. This is also a track name. Over time, they get tired and lethargic. But then, one of their old alien guards swoops down, takes the band, and tells them about their alien lives. They discover that they are being drained by their record producer Darkwood!

Next, they attempt to break into Darkwood Manor. They learn how he is an ancient evil man who thrives on gold records. After they steal back their memory disks, security attempts to stop them and they knock out the keyboard player, who reverts back to his original blue skin. Shocked, they get him to a hospital. But, the band breaks them out and they escape in a truck, with terminator-like guards following.

Then, they rocket off in a ship, and the Earth says goodbye to the CrescenDolls, who have reverted back to alien names and forms . After that, they broadcast their final song (“Too Long” from the Discovery album.) to Earth from the secret star system. Finally, a boy falling asleep stops listening to the album on a vinyl record player, as if it were all a dream.

Really, I just wanted to review this movie because it is an odd little piece of music history. A Japanese animation for a French pop band's music video. But, it also has aliens, science fiction tropes, music, and anime. All of which are topics that I cover. If you like Daft Punk or just want something neat to check out, give it a watch on YouTube.

ONE PUNCH MAN SEASON 1 (2015):

ONE PUNCH MAN SEASON 1 (2015):

“The story of Saitama, a hero that does it just for fun and can defeat his enemies with a single punch.”

One Punch Man is something I've wanted to talk about for a long time, because it's so good. It's a comedy shonen. Usually, shonen are just about POWER GUYS who want POWER because POWER is good, so they quest to get more POWER. Here, Saitama already has ultimate power and is just doing the hero thing for fun. That's what makes it very fun and relaxing to watch, despite its action-packed shonen backdrop.

Early on in his hero career, he trains so hard he becomes bald. That's his origin. After that, he can knock out enemies with one punch. He even makes some enemies with the heroes from the Hero Association who are jealous of him. These make all the fights in Season 1 hilarious. The villains and other heroes talk a big game, and then it's over in one punch.

But, he doesn't just make enemies. While fighting a giant mosquito lady, Saitama befriends a cyborg Genos, who's training to become a hero. Saitama takes him on as a disciple. Then, One Punch Man takes out the “House of Evolution”, Hammerhead's "Paradiser Gang", and some others like “Speed o' Sound Sonic", who is a ninja. Eventually, Genos convinces Saitama to join the Hero Association, so he can have fans. From there, he passes the physical exam with flying colors while completely forgetting the oral test!

After multiple heroes struggle to take out the “Sea King”, One Punch Man arrives leisurely. After he punches him out, some kids and heroes start to claim that Saitama is a phony, or a job poacher. From there, the anime becomes a weird alien invasion story. Their leader Ouroboros has a heavily armored spaceship, and about 5 “final forms” of armor. Of course, the only thing Saitama really fights is boredom. He just says “Ok.” after Ouroboro's villain monologue. But, he has to break out his “finisher”: Serious Punch!

Even after all that, Saitama finds that most the aliens are good. So, he keeps to his apartment and lets them hang around. The reason I like Season 1 is it tells a pretty chill, self-contained story which is pretty much the opposite of your average self-serious, meandering action shonen. That alone makes it funny. The next seasons are about the arrival of the Hero Hunter villain Garou, and a tournament arc, with the ending teasing the arrival of the Monster Association. These are good, and deliciously self-depreciating, but nothing really compares to that first season.

One Punch Man is always looking for a good fight, but can never find it. Despite this, he's never boasting or talking himself up. He battles boredom, and gets excited for simple things like clearance deals on food. That's pretty much the entire joke. Some people hate that kind of humor, but I loved it. I haven't seen a shonen quite like it. If you've got a chance, definitely watch it. It's one of my favorites, and free on Hulu.

Starship Troopers (1997):

Starship Troopers (1997):

“Humans in a fascist, militaristic future wage war with giant alien bugs.”

Starship Troopers takes place on a world where Earth is united under a military dictatorship called the Federation. Despite this, this movie is more about the every day life of Johnny Rico and his friends as they work their way up the ranks. First military school, then bootcamp, then seeing action on Planet P, and then the Bug homeworld, Klendathu.

One of the first things that I thought was how much the world looks like Starcraft. That was an obvious inspiration. Second, how nonchalant Johnny and his friends (Carl, Carmen, and Dizzy.) are about military service. They take co-ed showers together, and they're talking about what field they're going to work in, instead of ogling. (Although there are romances, men and women advance equally.) One of Johnny's friends, Carl, gets into military intelligence, so they can partake in an invasion.

However, during training Johnny accidentally kills a squadmate, and wants to go home to Buenos Aires. But, the bugs send a meteor to blow up the city just after he calls his parents. So, Rico takes part in the invasion of Klendathu, after brown-nosing to a drill instructor. This is where the real battle and violence begin. Bombs, guns, people ripped apart. 100,000 dead by the end.

It turns out the Federation was ambushed by the bugs. They can anticipate human movements through the use of “Brain Bugs” that suck out marines' brains. Then, the movie turns into a quest to stop the Brain Bug, and Johnny takes over his old commander's squad, becoming “Rico's Roughnecks”. Overall, it's a good sci-fi action flick, with a good array of weapons, sci-fi tech, and good ship models.

The characters are relatable even under a military dictatorship. Each character has their own ambition, and relationships, ranks, and how they react to battle. Some of it is actually pretty funny, like when Johnny's psychic buddy gets his ferret to believe there's a grub on her leg, so it bugs her. But, the 2nd half is a bloodbath, as Johnny's squad evolves from schoolkids to full-blown soldiers. Boom! Check it out, if you can!

Coneheads (1993):

Coneheads (1993):

“Aliens with conical crania crash-land on Earth.”

Well, Coneheads was free on Hulu. I figured if there's ever a comedy about seeing through alien eyes, this is it. Beldar and Prymaat come from planet Remulak to conquer Earth, but end up staying as “illegal aliens” after a malfunction. A lot of the humor comes from the way they talk so scientifically. For example, “re-numerating with metallic tender discs.” for “paying in change”; or “consumption of mass quantities” for eating.

Beldar and Prymaat slowly adapt to American life despite being aliens. Beldar is a hard worker, and can succeed at almost any job because his cone or body can interact with machinery. Meanwhile, he has the government chasing him and his family down. Beldar's child, Connie Conehead, was born in America and quickly falls in love with a car mechanic (Chris Farley!) because she can describe in detail all the equipment in his shop! Yes, Connie has normal teen problems and fights with her parents, but is still an alien!

Eventually, Beldar's ship returns for him. But, Connie convinces him to stay in America, because they have a good life. They may look funny and talk strangely, but they are good people once they stop being chased around. It's a great comedy, if you have time. Direct your ocular sensors upon it! (Give it a watch!)

Trancers II: The Return of Jack Deth (1991):

Trancers II: The Return of Jack Deth (1991):

“6 years after a time cop returns home from battling future alien zombies, his settled life is turned upside down when a mad scientists creates more.”

Dr. Wardo is creating more “trancers”. (Psychically-controlled alien drug zombies.) Trancers is basically Blade Runner with zombie movie twist. Jack Deth returns to the 20th century investigating why trancers still exist after his first mission. (See here.) He discovers that his wife is alive, but she'll die when they go back to the 23rd century.

Meanwhile, he's living in the 1990s as a married man already, to make things more complicated. They explain again that some technology from the 23rd century allows for stuff to be time-travelled through as long as you've got ancestors “down the line”. In his case, Jack Deth befriended an old drunk baseball player, his ancestor, Hap Ashby. Deth's former police chief inhabits the body of a 15-year-old girl.

They find out that Dr. Wardo is brainwashing mental patients, and addicting them to a futuristic drug, SKROB78. Wardo is building a “trancer farm” just like Whistler, from the first mission. He does it with the help of the Green World cult, and hypnosis. All the while, Jack must save the people, take out Wardo, and possibly his own future wife. There's a good mix of comedy, horror, and action here for a B-Movie. I say check it out!

Flight of The Navigator (1986):

Flight of The Navigator (1986):

“In 1978, a boy travels 8 years into the future and has an adventure with an intelligent, wisecracking alien ship.”

David chases his brother through the woods in 1978, and wakes up 8 years later. His house is owned by someone else. Time has passed, but he hasn't aged. The scariest thing about this movie is that none of the NASA scientists who later take the kid explain what's going on.

The scientists want to examine all the star charts that the UFO put inside his brain. Meanwhile, no one explains this. He only has like one friend inside NASA, and she can barely explain to him what a music video is. He's never seen one before. After that, the alien voice in his head beckons him back to the UFO to complete his mission.

Once inside the UFO, the Trimaxian alien explains his mission to collect data on other lifeforms in space. The kid is “the navigator”, who must pilot the ship. Along the way, they teach each other how to laugh, dance, and listen to music. David calls the Trimaxian “Max”, and as they become friends and laugh, he sounds more like Pee Wee Herman.

After their adventure together, Max returns the kid to the '70s. As a souvenir, he lets him keep a little alien from its biological zoo. It's a genuinely good movie. If I saw it as a kid, I would've freaked out. But, the freaky parts help you appreciate the fun and wonder that comes later. Check it out if you can.

OUTLANDER (2008):

OUTLANDER (2008):

“During the reign of the Vikings, Kainan, a man from a far-off world, crash lands on Earth, bringing with him an alien predator known as the Moorwen.”

This is a movie about a space marine who crashes into medieval Norway, carrying an alien who can shoot lasers and impale people with its tentacles that everyone mistakes for a dragon. The marine, Kainan, loses his gun and vows to track down the alien. With Iron Age tech, he reasons it's easier to trap it.

But now, he is trapped in Norse politics. At first, they think he's a spy for the Franks. John Hurt, who plays the Viking chieftain listens to his story. They don't believe him at first, but after hunting the beast with him, they believe it's more than a bear. Kainan parties with the Vikings, and becomes friends with Freya, the king's daughter.

Now, this is where he gets mixed up. Freya is due to marry Wulfric, who Freya says is a tyrant. Thus, Freya entrusts Kainan, not him, with the king's sword. All the while building this “dragon trap”, he has to fend off enemies that Wulfric has made too. They suspect his tribe attacked, when it was the alien. But, Wulfric is too quick to think with his sword.

Thinking with his mind and heart, Kainan tries to trap the beast and bring the people together. This is justice for having brought the monster into their world. I really enjoyed this mix of hard sci-fi and mythical fantasy. It's free on Youtube movies. If you have time, give it a watch!

Lily C.A.T. (1987):

Lily C.A.T. (1987):

“The expendable crew of a corporate space vessel must stop a murderous shape-shifting alien organism that somehow got on board.”

“The corpses have disappeared, leaving everything - even their underwear – behind!” Dular says, after his crew members have been eaten by an alien virus. I mean, it is a good mystery, but probably ruined by early anime dubbing. All the dialogue sounds so choppy and fast as they struggle to sync their lip movements. Other than that, it's pretty much John Carpenter's The Thing mixed with the futuristic setting of Ridley Scott's Alien.

See, there's a cat brought on board by Nancy. Quickly, everyone around the cat dies, and there are reports of an alien virus getting through the air ducts. What's discovered later is that the virus was carried by the cat because humans are “expendable”. So, the Syncam Corporation (who owns the ship.) is probably just evil. Why else kill an experienced crew with a Computerized Animal-shaped Technological robot? (Cat, get it?)

Anyway, you should probably skip this one. But, but I did find it enjoyable in terms of action. The mystery is given away in the title. The choppy English dubbing is way too distracting, and the plot doesn't actually make much sense, other than they're trying to mix Alien and The Thing. Just enjoy the crew getting picked apart by the alien/C.A.T.

The 1980s were an ambitious time for Japanese anime, especially as it expanded overseas and took on American influences. It is at least enjoyable if you turn your brain off, and accept it as a relic of its own time. There are interesting ideas sci-fi discussed such as cryogenics, relativity, and how the crew only ages 1 year every 20 Earth years. But, these details never pan out to anything, and only a few members survive as it rushes to horrific ending.

Mantera (2012):

Mantera (2012):

"About a boy, Azman, who stumbles upon a nano-tech glove which can transform his motorbike into body armor."

A clueless nerd from Malaysia trains with an ancient organization after he's accidentally mailed cyborg technology. It's ok. Some of the CGI is jerky and unusual. It kind of looks like an early 00s FMV videogame that doesn't make me nostalgic. The good guys are the Alliance of Light, giving them the unfortunate acronym AOL. I mean, it's like Last Starfighter combined with half-baked Transformers. It's free on Tubi, but you can skip it.

Yamasong: March of the Hollows (2017):

Yamasong: March of the Hollows (2017):

"An automated girl and tortoise warrior journey with a band of outlaws on an incredible quest. Their one hope is to find a legendary relic to defeat a sinister mechanized army and save the creatures of their world."

Nani the automated girl's heart beats so fast that it causes the prison moon housing the Hollows (robots) to plummet into planet Yamasong. Now, it's up to Nani and her friends to stop the Hollows from turning everyone into a soulless robot.

Great puppet work here from Brian Henson. An all-star voice cast! A crazy alien planet! My only complaint is that thematically, it's like The Dark Crystal, with souls being sucked out by an evil army, so if you didn't like that, you won't like this. Otherwise, check it out! Free on Tubi!

Mac and Me (1988):

Mac and Me (1988):

"An alien trying to escape from NASA is befriended by a wheelchair-bound boy."

Here is a strange flick! While it's blatantly a McDonalds tie-in with Mac. the alien as a faux-E.T., there's a lot of weirdness going on here. The aliens discover they can drink Coca-Cola through their fingers, and the police shoot at them, further injuring Eric. (The wheelchair-bound boy.)

Then, they go to McDonald's and all dance together! Everything's fine! The day is saved by McDonald's and Coca-Cola! It's free on PlutoTV. It's good for a laugh, but don't expect E.T.!

Redline (2009):

Redline (2009):

"A story about the most popular racing event in the galaxy, the Redline, and the various racers who compete in it."

Sweet JP competes in the famous interplanetary Redline race with the help of his trusty alien mechanic Frisbee. However, the government of Planet Roboworld vows to destroy all the racers in the name of “peace”. It's like anime meets Death Race 2000. I enjoyed the weird characters and souped-up cars. Definitely worth a watch. Free on Tubi!

KUNG POW!: ENTER THE FIST (2002):

KUNG POW!: ENTER THE FIST (2002):

"Writer-director Steve Oedekerk acquired the little known 1976 Hong Kong karate flick "Savage Killers," then seamlessly blended portions of the film with new material he has directed to create a wild, off-the-wall, comedy feature film."

Where to begin!? Not only is this film weird, it's funny! Steve Oedekerk inserted himself into a kung fu flick and changed the plot to where he has a magical tongue, and fights his nemesis Master Pain aka Betty! "Beware his song about big butts...he beats you up when he plays it!" Hilarious. Watch any way you can.

THEY LIVE (1988):

They Live (1988):

"They influence our decisions without us knowing it. They numb our senses without us feeling it. They control our lives without us realizing it. They live."

Nada (Roddy Piper), a wanderer without meaning in his life, discovers a pair of sunglasses capable of showing the world the way it truly is. Wearing the shades, he realizes that the world's social elite are skull-faced aliens, and they put subliminal messages in the media to subdue the population, while the aliens plot global domination. He sets out to liberate his friends from mind control and stop the aliens. I like this movie because it's about the meaning of life, but blown up to the size of an action movie!

Piper's working class charisma and pro-wrestling background really shine here as he discovers the aliens. He brings intensity and comedy to the role in a way that, I feel, could only be done by him. He effortlessly brings out one-liners and action scenes like it's an old school wrestling promo; even when he's saving the world. There's a famous 6-minute fight scene with Keith David!

Truly, you have to see this movie to believe it! Put the glasses on! It's a wild one. It's fun, has a good message about seeking the truth, and great action; all mixed together! Give it a watch whenever you can find this true sci-fi classic. There's no clearer case of watching through "alien" eyes.

Sci-Fi Fighters (1996):

Sci-Fi Fighters (1996):

"Boston, 2009. A police detective (Roddy Piper) searches for Adrian Dunn, his ex-partner (Billy Drago) who murdered his wife. Dunn has escaped from prison on the moon and returned to Earth with an alien virus."

I love this movie. Roddy Piper makes a great Blade Runner-ish noir detective tough guy with some AMAZING dramatic chops. Apart from They Live, this was the film that convinced me that "Holy crap. Piper can ACT!" This movie began my love of Roddy Piper films, even though it's totally just a low-budget Blade Runner, with some Alien in there. Anyway, just thought I'd put it out there because a lot of people don't know about it. Check it out. Free on Tubi.

THE SUICIDE SQUAD (2021):

THE SUICIDE SQUAD (2021):

"Supervillains Harley Quinn, Bloodsport, Peacemaker and a collection of nutty cons at Belle Reve prison join the super-secret, super-shady Task Force X as they are dropped off at the remote, enemy-infused island of Corto Maltese."

The Suicide Squad is a fun movie. I feel like what makes it work is the slapstick, and the characters. A team of DC supervillains is sent off to investigate alien technology on a hostile island nation. As the name implies, several team members die. But, most the deaths are played for laughs, and I won't give spoilers regarding who makes it out. There's no one character that feels underdeveloped. Even the goofier ones like Polka Dot Man.

Speaking of characters, Harley Quinn gets her own few moments in the sun here. Her character does great with the movie's action-slapstick tone. John Cena plays the hilariously unaware and superviolent Peacemaker. Idris Elba does most of the dramatic heavy-lifing as Bloodsport. Overall, I think the movie works because it's aware that it's a comic book movie.

Comics are kind of weird, and so is this flick. It's superviolent, funny, and yet it's never truly dark. It has a kind of heart in the way that the characters live and die. It's definitely not for the squeamish, but I say give it a watch if you like weird comics and action movies!

Trigun: Badlands Rumble (2011):

Trigun: Badlands Rumble (2011):

"A gunfighter with a strict no-kill policy, Vash the Stampede arrives in a town full of bounty hunters competing to collect the reward for catching a robber he saved 20 years ago."

After a bit of his doughnut falls into a bank robbery, Vash The Stampede inadvertently saves a vicious murderer who’s robber companions are about to turn on him. Some wonderful gunfights, and sci-fi weapons! Watch it anyway you can.

Alien Opponent (2010):

Alien Opponent (2010):

"The owner of a small-town junkyard offers a cash reward to whomever can kill her uninvited, space-suited alien guest when its spacecraft crash-lands into her barn. Every wacko within 100 miles turns out, and before long, the junkyard is transformed into a war zone of man vs. man vs. machine vs. alien vs. God only knows what."

Goofy action-comedy with Roddy Piper as a supporting character: a foul-mouthed priest. This one is more a pastiche of trashy reality TV shows. Imagine if Predator was a comedy. I found it entertaining. As always, Roddy Piper elevates the film by his energy, and gets a few wrestling scenes in there. Otherwise, barely a movie. But, a good and weird amateur spoof.

Split Second (1992):

Split Second (1992):

"In a flooded future London, Detective Harley Stone hunts a serial killer who murdered his partner, and has haunted him ever since. He soon discovers what he is hunting might not be human."

Rutger Hauer plays a psychic cop addicted to coffee and chocolate investigating the demon/alien who might've murdered his partner. Cyberpunk, Satanic panic, all mixed with Lethal Weapon! Definitely a weird one. Check it out.