iPad Game Accessibility Review: Punch Quest (2012)

iPad Game Accessibility Review: Punch Quest 

Hi there, gamers! Do you want a fun game on the iPad that isn’t a huge, ad-ridden money trap? Try Punch Quest. Punch Quest is a fun combination of endless runner/beat-em-up. So, it’s all about how far you can get punching through zombies, skeletons, monsters, and demons! Tapping the right side of the screen keeps your player punching and running. But, also, tapping the left side of the screen does a little flying uppercut move. Another tap pounds the ground in a sort of combo.

Those aren’t the only moves in your arsenal! Along the way in your punching frenzy, you’ll get power-ups like grillin’ fists,(They shoot fireballs!) and iron fists that protect you from harm for a bit, and make you stronger! And finally, there’s a raptor that shoots lasers out of it’s mouth. You read that right. If that doesn’t make you excited to play this game, you must be dead inside. A laser-shooting dinosaur!

Yes, Punch Quest sounds like something a hyperactive five-year-old dreamed up. But, that’s fine by me. It’s fast-paced, fun, and unapologetically wacky. As far as I know, the only thing that would make this game inaccessible is the speed. But, the speed is also good for racking up points. If you punch out two or more guys, it leads to a combo. Combos multiply your points.

Points can unlock new techniques and armor. Luckily, this uses app in-game points only to buy things. Not real money! So, if you’re looking for a quick bit of fun, download it. And enjoy! There are boss fights, but since it’s an endless runner, the only thing that really counts is how long you hold out, and the points you score. It’s very replayable. Radical! With its simplicity, speed, breezy controls, and fun, it’s certainly worth a download.

And it’s cheap! There are so few good accessible games that Punch Quest certainly punches its way to the top of my list. Oh, and I haven’t even unlocked new techniques yet. But, I have beaten one boss…a flying skull! How cool is that? Go download it for all of $0.99! (When I got it, it was free. But, the price seems to have gone up!) Punch your way to greater and greater glory! All in all, this is one gnarly iPad game. 5/5 stars!

FINAL GRADE: A

ACCESSIBILITY GRADE: A+ (You control the entire game just by tapping sides.)

FORGIVENESS FACTOR: A (It‘s very fun, and replayable. See how long you can hold out!)

TOUCHSCREEN CONTROL: A- (Kind of fast, but still incredibly easy to play, and fun!)

Stranded II (PC+Mac 2007): Game Accessibility Review:

Stranded II (PC+Mac 2007): Game Accessibility Review:

Stranded II is a bit like Minecraft. Except Minecraft lets you build whatever world you want piece by piece. Stranded II appears to be the opposite philosophy. Namely, you have to build what it tells you you can build, and you have no idea what you’re getting as you randomly hit trees or the ground. Every tree you hit, you could get leaves, vines, or branches. There’s no telling what you’ll get whenever you hit a resource…it’s all chance!

    Also, the inventory is ridiculously small. I’ve played this game many times over to see if I could get the hang of it. I eventually did, but I don’t think it made it any more fun to play. The key strategy is to set up structures bit by bit. First, make a hammer by combining 1 branch + 1 stone. Then, click on the hammer and put it in your hand. Right click to build an available structure. Putting the hammer in your hand and clicking repeatedly? You have to do it EVERY time you build something.

Okay, let’s build a shelter: 20 branches, 30 leaves. Since the inventory is ridiculously small, you’re going to hear your character complain: “It’s too heavy!” a lot. So, basically, build the structure piece by piece, meaning once you have the materials, click 50 times (20+30) on the structure, and then, you’ll have it. And that’s the easiest structure to get in the game. Food, water, and fatigue are all measured separately too, rather than Minecraft’s unified hunger meter, so you always have to keep an eye on that.

I respect that the game is based on survival, but does: “Click on this graphically pre-determined structure, while clicking wildly on this tree to see if you can get materials to build the graphically pre-determined structure” sound fun? No, not to me; it’s tedious, and just reminds me I could be playing Minecraft. Minecraft at least let’s me take pride in what I build, because the buildings’ designs are up to me.

And before any Stranded II fans chime in, yes, I built the wood and stone storage. But, I found that, again, the inventory is so small, that I kept having to sacrifice food to carry back logs for the all purpose storage hut. Otherwise, “It’s too heavy!” And I would find that my dropped food would perish after a while, or else I’d just lose track of where I put it.

Now, to make matters worse for non-German speakers, I kept finding bits of the game that were untranslated even in the English version. These were mostly ok. “Alle” means “all” for taking all the materials in front of you. “Eingeborener” means native, as you will sometimes encounter natives. But, there was one German message where, if I didn’t speak German, I’d be toast: “Feuer! Feuer! Ein Gebäude brennt!” In English: “Fire! Fire! A building is burning!” I’d built my shelter too close to my campfire (10 branches+50 stones) and it burnt down.

 Overall, I had some fun with this game. Hunting animals, seeing how long I could survive. But, there are too many random elements in Stranded II, and the building process is way too tedious for my taste when gathering is so difficult to measure and at the same time I have to maintain supplies, and even sometimes avoid lions. Yes, lions. Now, click faster, before they kill you!

I’m posting this to prove a point about disability in gaming. Previously, I lambasted Minecraft for having nearly impossible controls. But, it was still kind of fun to build with, truth be told. But, Stranded II is proof that a game can be perfectly accessible control-wise, and still be bad. Even though most of Stranded II is controlled by simple point-and-click, other problems make the game pointlessly tedious, and the fun dies quickly. Sometimes fun transcends disability issues: If a game’s bad, a game’s bad.

FINAL GRADE: C

ACCESSIBILITY GRADE: B+ (Point-and-click for nearly all actions; some untranslated words, clicking to build gets tiresome.)

FORGIVENESS FACTOR: E (Resource management is incredibly critical; limited inventory space makes survival difficult.)

 CONTROL A-:  (Nearly all interactions are point-and-click; controls can be changed in the main menu.)

Ohayocon 2014

Yesterday I went to Ohayocon. My friends took me directly to the comic store. I bought an Iron Man graphic novel for $5. Sundays are the cheapest because they’re trying to sell everything. I saw some strange toys. Who wants to play as Whirlwind in an Iron Man set? Collectors, I suppose. The funniest toy I saw was an Invisible Woman action figure. I guess if you wanted to play as her without powers. Anyway, a friend bought Japanese chocolates and then we headed out.

Once we were on the main floor, I of course took time to take in the costumes. I’m growing used to the sight of big animal costumes, and the sheer  number of Doctor Whos. I was lucky enough to be recognized by all of these groups. And of course, I always see some cat girls who have wheelchairs, which is nice. I mean, the accessibility is nice. And the costumes. And before I left some girl told me: “I just have to say…your outfit…is amazing!” Which is always nice. It’s part of why I go. To share in the fandom.

Granted, I ran over two people accidentally, but its really crowded on those dealer floors. I couldn’t (or rather my friends and I…) couldn’t find any artists doing superhero prints. I got a Full Metal Alchemist wall scroll though, which looks really nice, and that’s one of my favorite animes. All the rest of the artists seemed to do more girly animes, or zombies. But, I still got my wall scroll! A friend said he could swend me some DVDs later, so I didn’t have to worry about my budget…still kind of disappointed to get no superhero prints, though. But, my friend also gave me a 3D-printed Green Lantern ring as a parting gift: win-win!

That’s why I like cons. Such nice people, and such weird stuff to see! Where else can you see two dudes just hanging out in Kryptonian armor, and eat Japanese chocolate? (Well, Japan maybe…but not both at once.) And as I went dressed as the 4th Doctor, I never got tired of hearing “Hello, Doctor!” or “Hey, look, it’s The Doctor!” There were dozens of Doctors, so that was really special when someone pointed me out of all of them. I love going to cons because I don’t feel disabled when I go…and I think I’m getting the hang of coordinating these trips with friends. Just stay with the group…try not to run people over. But, hey, it happens.

Really, the only thing I didn’t like about the con was the crowdedness. But, that really can’t be helped. Also, even though I went on a day when things were cheap, things like DVDs and prints were still relatively expensive. But, I kept a reasonable budget. My friend Eric said he saw a man who came with thousands of dollars who bought out an entire booth of DVDs! Such was the craziness of Ohayocon 2014. But, I had a blast, and everyone was friendly!

I recommend going to Ohayocon especially for anyone with disabilities, because it’s such a positive experience to be around people who see you for the you…you want to be! And also, this trip wouldn’t have been possible had I not planned it out with my friends. So, I’m grateful that we went! I had a blast. I always do when I go to these things and see all this stuff I never would’ve otherwise. Great company! Good times! More pictures forthcoming!

ReelAbilities Columbus 2013:

ReelAbilities Columbus 2013:

When I went to Reelabilities 2013 this weekend, the first movie I saw was “Aphasia”, in the McConnell Arts Center. It’s an American film (2011) about Carl McIntyre, an actor and salesman who has a stroke, and suffers from aphasia, the inability to read, write, or understand spoken language. The film follows his year and a half trying to regain these skills. It’s a very comedic film, but not without it’s touching moments, such as when Carl first suffers the stroke, his kids jump on him and his wife yells at him to get up and stop messing around.
   
Also, the film shows Carl’s frustration of having to learn words again. Oddly, the first words he seems to learn quickly are curse words, which is sometimes played for comedic effect. (They must be stored in a different part of the brain…or linked to his frustration.) Such as when he goes to a fast food joint and tries to order a “Frozee”, but ends up seeming to order…something else! He also has trouble distinguishing between yes and no at first, which means he ends up with much larger orders sometimes and says yes when he means no.

    In his therapy,  he begins to show “cognitive flexibility” which is why he can relearn words by getting around to them in his brain. For example to say “when” Carl at first has to say “Chicken” which surprises his therapist. “Chicken?” she asks. Then, Carl says “Chicken! Eggs! Hen! Www-when!” The surprising thing for me was how much I empathized with Carl’s aphasia. Having learnt another language (And sometimes having difficulty with my own…but haven‘t we all had those?), it’s frustrating when you can’t convey what you want, and embarrassing when you say something completely different.

     This is a short film, 40 minutes long, that embraces the entire gambit of human emotions, and the human struggle to adapt to worlds which we don’t understand. Ultimately, Carl realizes when he’s watching himself on TV that: “There are two mes. The then and the now. And the now me is the only version of me this little boy [his son] will ever know.” And spoiler alert: He does finally get that Frozee!

   This is a great film for anyone who has struggled to communicate. Or likes to laugh. Funny story: as I came into the theater, people there must’ve thought I was with the Dancing Wheels, a disabled dance group that was there earlier that evening. They showed me into the theater, and then I got on this big metal lift, and I almost ended up on stage. I didn’t know! I thought it was just really good handicapped seating! But, then I told them I wasn’t a dancer, and they took me back down into the audience. Communication breakdown even between non-aphasiacs!

     The second day was when I saw “Renn Wenn Du Kannst” and “Yo Tambien” in the Wexner Center. These were the two films I’d planned to see originally. “Yo Tambien” (Me too.) is about a man called Daniel with Down Syndrome who falls in love with his able-bodied coworker Laura in Seville’s Department of Disability Services. Daniel is wonderfully arrticulate, and discusses philosophy, and art, and his disability with her. Laura is more of a “wild child” who has a dislike for rules, and is new in town, so Daniel is her first connection.

     However, just as Daniel is Laura’s first connection as a friend, Laura is taught how to love again by Daniel’s example. There are hints that Laura was abused as a child, and is estranged by her family. Likewise, Daniel’s mother can be a little to overprotective of him, and thinks he’s somehow being taken advantage of. Daniel also has a friend, Pedro, a dancer, who falls in love with a woman with Down Syndrome in his dance class. This serves to show how the concept of normative relationships doesn’t always function correctly.

    In both cases, it is the able-bodied people who do not approve of the relationships. But, they don’t want or need their approval. In Daniel’s case, people think he’s being bamboozled. In Pedro’s case, people think: He has Down Syndrome, how can he know what love (or sex!) is? These are the kind of presumptions the disability community has to work against! It’s not able-bodied vs. disabled. We need more stories like this that show us that. Also, it did remind me a lot of my trip to Spain, as I suspected it would. The fast, colorful language, the classical architecture and wild countryside, and Daniel’s family was always drinking wine. What a great Spanish presentation of the Independent Living and Disability Rights movements!  

    Now on to Renn Wenn Du Kannst (Run If You Can)! This film is from Germany, and follows Ben, a quadraplegic about to complete his MA (Boy, I’ve been there!) who falls for one of his assistants friends, a woman who plays cello, but has crippling stage fright to where she can only perform solo. Now, here’s what I thought was cool: In the opening scene, Ben in ordering his assistant around and cleaning up his apartment, but the moment his aide leaves, his thesis which he just PRINTED, flies out the window. I nearly cursed at loud as Ben does!

    You see, when Annika (His aide/Ben’s love interest, in a sort of love triangle!) has stage fright, she can run away, as she does many times during performances in the movie. Ben can’t run away from his fear which is that he will no longer be able to maintain relationships after his accident. Indeed, in the course of the movie, Ben kind of laughs off the notion that Annika could possibly love him. But, then of course, she does, but neither find that they can perform sexually under the weight of their traumas.

    Ben’s story is that he was in an auto accident that killed his disabled girlfriend as well as left him quadriplegic. Since then, he has developing a joking attitude (He calls his attendant Christian…Nurse Christiane!) and stays away from people, since he can’t run from his fear. As Ben jokes with Christian: “I was not put on Earth to have sex with women. I was put here to look at their backsides.” I must admit, I often take myself out of the game so to speak, before I even know if I’ll succeed. For many of the same reasons; and the fact that it was in German made it hit home closer for me.

    The film wonderfully juxtaposes the need for order (Classical music; cleaning the apartment; the Master’s thesis.) against fear and non-logical impulses. Though all three in the end remain friends, it is left unclear whether they will go their own separate ways. There is a small scene where Ben’s mom comes to visit, and she starts cleaning and Ben tells her to get out! That to me was pretty powerful, as a cultural analyst. This is Ben’s territory! Only he and his aides can order it!

     And hey, as a non-native German-speaker I learned a few new slang words! As usual the European scenery was great…but in a different way than Spain’s. The city of Bottrop, as presented here is large and modern, dominated by high-rises and steel. Actually, Ben climbs the Bottrop Tetrahedron and sits on top of it. Something he told “Christiane” was his “unattainable dream”. A wonderful film dealing with interability relationships…but certainly not as afraid to dive into pain as Yo Tambien. Yo Tambien was more colorful; more Spanish…for lack of a better adjective!

     Afterwards, a speaker read her academic paper on the presence of able-bodied/disabled actors in the media. And even gave some cursory background into the disability rights movement in Germany…by commenting that Germany’s movement is based on “self-determination” (Which she never called by the German Selbstbestimmung.)

   The trouble is, in the USA, it seems to be based on “Independence”. So, whatever differences both movements have based on those words are (to me.) completely rhetorical. I don’t get the difference…but the main argument seemed to be that media presence within the “community” is growing. This year was the opposite of last year’s for me: I came prepared to speak this time, but never quite got the opportunity to ask questions!
 
   All in all, a good ReelAbilities Festival, with some great intercultural discourse on inter-and-intraability relationships. And I got to see one more film than I originally thought! (“Aphasia”) I’m glad VSA Ohio invited me to take part. Each film dealt with the same issues, more or less. But each had a different cultural lens which with to examine our common humanity through stories about disability! ReelAbilities 2013 was a very fun, and very educational time!
     

 

Game Review: Heroclix

Game Review: Heroclix

   Yesterday, I played my first game of Heroclix. I used the Marvel starter set. If you’ve played D&D or Warhammer, it’s pretty much that with superheroes/pop culture miniatures. The one gimmick is that each miniature has a dial that you click to indicate when they take damage. Now, I love the premise of the game. Superhero fights are always (usually) on my mind, like any kid who grew up with fighting games/comics. But, it’s not particularly accessible for me…that doesn’t keep me from playing, I just have a friend help me turn the dial.

    We played 2 games with this one 6-figure set. One 3-on-3 (Wolverine, Elektra, and Hobgoblin vs. Spiderman, Sabertooth, and Wasp.) and one 1-on-1 (Sabretooth vs. Wolverine.) Now, for those you who don’t play Warhammer or D&D, I’ll explain the game simply. Each figure has stats (Movement, Defense, Attack, Damage.) on it’s base.

You use these stats to play the game, along with dice, of course. For example, Wolverine in my starter set has  5 Movement 12 Defense and 1 Damage…but if you use his claws, his damage becomes 1d6. Anyway, all the figures have stats and powers like this. If you equal or surpass Wolverine’s Defense stat, you hit him, and deal the indicated damage on the figure’s base and click the dial. Neat stuff, but I never did click the dials. My buddy did.

    He also set up the map and placed object tokens on it. Light objects increase damage by 1, and heavy objects (Only portable by characters with super strength!) increase damage by 2. In our first official game, it was basically a race to pick up the objects. Whereas I thought any team with Wolverine could win…the teams with Wolverine lost both times!

 To be sure, once was due to bad strategy (I was fighting over a boulder with Spiderman and didn’t wanna spend all day playing catch with super strength.) And the second game, I won with Sabertooth because my buddy kept rolling badly! (It happens…but I got lucky.)

     It’s a great game! I can’t wait to start collecting other neat Heroclix figures. I’ve even seen Star Trek and Watchmen Heroclix as well as more specific ones and weird mods like Earthworm Jim Heroclix. Part of me wants to do Marvel vs. DC, but that’s a little cliché. Marvel vs. Street Fighter, that would be something! Or Marvel vs. Watchmen. In sum, it’s nice to have a neat hobby like this game.

    I hope I’ll learn how to click the dials soon. Another friend told me that sometimes they are hard to click, and each base can be different. So, perhaps I just don’t have the dexterity. Nonetheless, it is a game you play with a friend…so, in the event that I really can’t, I can either just have a friend do it, or make a mental note of the clicks in my head, possibly with a notepad. Practice makes perfect though. Just can’t wait to play again! 3/5 for fun, but there can be slight accessibility issues!
   
I like Heroclix because it’s a fun little strategy game to play with friends based on heroes! I would love to get more X-men, or a Professor X figure since he’s my favorite. I admit it’s not for everyone, but it’s still really cool! Though I do like the game so far without those pesky object tokens. Then, it just becomes a race to get them. It should be good physical therapy and great fun! Anyone know any cool sets with Oracle, Professor X, or other disabled heroes? Let me know!

                                             

X-Men: Children of The Atom Review

X-Men: Children Of The Atom Review 

My favorite types of videogames are beat-em-ups and fighting games. Very disability friendly. There are no complex puzzles (aside from maybe Special Moves.) to solve. You just jump right into the game and start being awesome. My favorite types of these games are often X-Men games. While browsing the Internet recently, I  came across a list of the so-called top 10 X-men games. I won’t do that, since I can’t really think of 10 good X-Men games that weren’t crossovers with Capcom. In my mind, there are only two real contenders for good X-Men games. X-men Arcade and X-men: Children of The Atom.
 
X-Men: Children of the Atom was so good with character animation that they used the same sprites for games as recently as Marvel vs. Capcom 2. I already reviewed X-men Arcade, so now I’ll review X-men: Children of The Atom. Now, the game has like 10 characters. And for some reason, one of them is Ice Man. Ice Man wasn’t even in the 90s cartoon that much. At least, not regularly. The game also used the original voice actors from the 90s cartoon, which is cool.

    As per usual, the game is obsessed with combos, and you can do super jumps, and meter-dependent “X-Moves” similar to Marvel vs. Capcom’s super moves. On my Dingoo system, these attacks are triggered by pressing L+R at the same time. No doubt in the arcades it was HP+HK. Other things I like about this game are that you can knock people to different parts of certain stages, which later X-men fighting games would follow. I love Ice Man’s cheesy lines like, “When I say chill out, I mean it!” and the fact the Colossus’s stage is besieged by sentinels. Spiral’s stage spirals downward! Little details like that are fun to me.
 
 The game has two boss characters and unique endings for each character. One boss is Juggernaut. Magneto is the other one. (Both would show up later as playable characters in Marvel Super Heroes!) I do know that Ice Man, in his ending, stands around on a beach making ice sculptures to impress babes. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why Rogue wasn’t added until X-men vs. Street Fighter! Wasn’t this based on the cartoon?

    Anyway, with it’s attention to details, cartoon sources, modern combo chains, and two-button super moves, this might be my favorite X-men fighting game! In my mind, there can’t be a top 10 because the rest of the games just aren’t that good, and/or are way to easy to get stuck in. Children of The Atom basically invented the modern fighting game before Killer Instinct or any of the Marvel-Capcom fighters.

And yes, I know Ice Man’s moves are cheap, but “cheap” is also accessible. The modern button-mashing in fighting games has it’s genesis in a game based on the Fatal Attractions comic storyline. If they had gone one step further, and added fatalities, Magneto might’ve been able to rip out Wolverine’s metal spine! Truly, this game was ahead of it’s time.
   
 What do you think? Did I miss any good X-men fighting games/crossovers? What other games are there? Let me know. Comment away! Until next time…I think next week I should have some new comics to review. Mostly DC! Although I’m a Marvel guy! Stay tuned!

                                                                        Arcade Art

                                                                Spiral vs. Psylocke!                                                          

                                                                   Cyclops's X-Move!
                                                   

                                              With Colossus's stage, you end up on a boat!

iPad Accessibility Game Review: UNDEAD SLAYER

IPAD ACCESSIBILITY GAME REVIEW: UNDEAD SLAYER

Undead Slayer is an iPad hack n’slash game with an Ancient Chinese/anime style. This means lots of blood, too. After a while the zombies start coming in mobs and you have to take down armies! More than most iPad games, I found that with Undead Slayer I had a really difficult time distinguishing between taps and hold-and-tap techniques. This is super important because hold is to charge up your weapon…I only got a samurai sword, but you can buy more in-game. With the zombies coming in mobs and following your tracks, one little accidental second charging instead of attacking and your brains are zombie breakfast.

    Usually though, the charge attacks and special techniques are good at clear the screen. You’ve just gotta charge with no zombies around. Early on, you can buy a fireball ability with an area effect which is nice. Just make sure it’s charged before you meet a wave of zombies. With the tapping being so rapid, and the movement being so fickle (tap your destination, but if a zombie’s in the way, in turns into attack.) it’s a very intense game. I would say that alone would make it inaccessible to some. But, I love the intensity; what I hate is the tap sensitivity, which often had me charging my sword with a mound of zombies on my heels, so I’d run into a corner turn around and unleash the charge…and it still wouldn’t do the trick by then!
 
If you die, you can come back with all your stuff if you spent jade, which are thankfully collected in-game and not exclusively through in-app purchases. If you don’t have jade, you lose your equipment and skills. Overall, it’s a challenging game. It’s not particularly accessible if you don’t like getting mobbed or having to tap really fast. Like I said, this is a problem in this game specifically because of it’s tendency to mix-up commands. I’m afraid I only like it for the anime art style and action! I’m biased. But, there’s really not much in the ways of accessibility unless you count the screen-clearing charged attacks! And there’s lots of zombies and blood…so there’s that!

I thought it was fun, but it’s definitely got it’s own niche. It can be frustrating. Just remember to charge your attacks really, and you’ll do all right. Take on smaller mobs by regular attacks. If all else fails, run and use a charged attack. It can take time, but it can also be well worth it. The game itself, in terms of physical accessibility, is kind of at war with it’s own control system. But, on a slightly morbid upside, it also means when you die, you die quickly, and can re-enter the game without wasting time, if you have jade. You see, I really want to recommend this game, but if you’re not into over-the-top anime zombie hunting action, then why even download the game, right? Happy zombie hunting!

FINAL GRADE: E

ACCESSIBILITY GRADE: B+ (Visually, it is pretty simple, except for some complex shop and skill menus.)

FORGIVENESS FACTOR: D (No jade? Lose everything.)

TOUCHSCREEN CONTROL: F (Charge, run, and attack easily get mixed up, and you must move quickly before you get eaten by zombie mobs!)

SCREEN GETS CLUTTERED VERY EASILY

                                           HERE'S WHAT IT NORMALLY LOOKS LIKE.
                                                      (EXCEPT I DIDN'T PLAY A GIRL.)
                                     

                                            VARIOUS SHOPS LET YOU IMPROVE STATS!

SHORT STORY: TED'S SECRET (19TH ANNIVERSARY)

When I was in 2nd grade, I used to write "books" on an electronic typewriter of usually 1-5 pages, each one or two lines, and bound with stapled construction paper. I loved to write these. One such story was Ted's Secret. Written in February of 1994, it was the first story I ever wrote that was an attempt at an epic adventure story.

Looking back on it, I was amazed because it incorporated epic themes, and played off of Nintendo games, computer games, and cartoons...where I would've gotten stories at the time. It even had a coherent moral: That you can ask for people to help, but never trust blindly. It's only drawback was the 2nd grade grammar I used at the time.

Previous morals for these "books" included: "And that's why you never ask what pancakes are being made!" (On second thought, that could've been me being silly!) and "That's why there is a rainbow at the end of the rainbow." (That was definitely a mistake.) But, this one ended with "And Ted went home happily." (But, I forgot to mention about half the story until now.) Ending aside, it was my first coherent epic!

On the 19th anniversary of this little "book" which encapsulates my early love of adventure stories, cartoons, and videogames...particularly Legend of Zelda! I decided to edit it, expand it, and change the grammar to make it more accessible to others. But, I still wanted young children to be able to read it, and maybe better understand the moral. So, I kept it simple. If alien anthropologists discover my body thousands of years from now, I'd want them to discover Ted's Secret on me. It is one of the best I've ever written.

Without further ado, Through Alien Eyes presents: Ted's Secret!

Ted’s Secret:

  One day, a man, Ted went hunting. “Eh?” He asked as he opened his secret chest. My secret isn’t where I put it! Maybe someone knows where it is.” He couldn’t hunt without it, so he went to the church to see if the nun could help.

"No, I'm sorry, but I cannot help you." said the nun. "But, my brother, the hermit collects such things. Perhaps he can help you. He lives in the Hills of High Fire." The nun bowed, leaving Ted.

So, Ted climbed to the Hills of High Fire, where flame surrounded the hermit. "Beg your pardon, sir. Are you the nun's brother?" asked Ted.
"Why yes! I am." said the squinty eyed old man, peaking through the fiery walls. "And what would you be seeking?"

"I'm looking for my secret." Ted explained. "The nun said you might collect such things."
"Why, yes, I might have that in my collection." The snaggle-toothed crone stepped out from the fire, and said. "Can you tell me what it looks like?"

Ted thought for a while, and whispered to the old man. “It is a treasure of unimaginable wealth. It took me sixty-one weeks to find it.”

“Ah!” said the hermit, digging around in his hovel. “A treasure, big with lamps and rubies on it!” cackled the nun’s brother.
    Ted shot the old man a look. “Do you have it, old hermit?” Ted wondered how the nun’s brother could be so crazy.

“No, I don’t have anything like that!” shouted the hermit. “But, maybe the willows have such things as you seek, adventurer. Beware, the willows can be nasty, and will throw apples at you.”

“Then, give me what I need to go see the willows!” Ted protested.

The ancient hermit coughed and wheezed in insane laughter. “Here is a shield to block the apples. And a gas mask. The Willow Woods are smelly.” He smiled toothlessly, and handed Ted the things. “Now, leave me be! I have to call the firefighters!” Hermits collect such strange things! Ted thought, and put on the gas mask, bidding his friend good-bye.

Away Ted went to the Willow Woods. The tall dark trees made him look small. They hunched down to speak with hideous, crooked faces.

“Who are you, little man?” They demanded.

“I’m Ted, the hunter.” said Ted. “And I seek my secret that I lost this morning!” Yelled Ted back at the willows.

“Go away, we don’t have it!” Said the willows altogether, and threw apples with their hand-like branches.
   “Amazing!” Thought Ted, blocking the apples. “A forest that attacks travelers! What are you, knaves?”
     Suddenly, those trees sobbed and said, “You may pass! We are only slaves to the warlock in the Grey Tower.”

“Amazing!” said Ted. “Does the warlock know where my secret is?”

“A warlock knows many things.” said the eldest willow. “And if he did have a secret, he would keep it to
himself. Yes! He could have it, and if you face him, we could finally be a peaceful forest! Go, Ted!” The
trees cracked woody smiles, and made a road.

And Ted went down the road happily. Then, he went to the warlock’s tower, and knocked on the big door.
“Who are you?” asked the warlock.
“I’m Ted, and I came from the forest looking for my secret!” Exclaimed Ted to the warlock.
“Come in.” said the warlock. “I have many secrets.”
“Have you seen mine?” asked Ted.
“You defeated the willows. You must be a warlock too. Is it magic?” said the warlock
 “No,” said Ted. “It’s a treasure of unimaginable wealth. It took me sixty-one weeks to find it.”
 “Ah!” said the warlock. “Yes! I have magical treasures. What will you give me for it?”
  Ted showed him the shield and gas mask.

 “Wow!” shouted the warlock. “I have never seen things like that. Now, I will show you my mirror.” Then, Ted went to the mirror room, and saw himself in it.
  He looked weird and strange. The mirror was shiny, but didn’t look like a treasure.
“Aha! A trick, old man!” Yelled Ted.
“It’s no trick, the mirror shows the truth.” said the warlock. “It knows where the secret is!”
“Where?” asked Ted, “But it only shows me, and I emptied my pockets!”
“Ah, look inside!” said the warlock. So, Ted jumped inside the mirror. The sky was green and the grass outside was blue and sunny. Of course, Ted thought. In the mirror world, it’s the opposite! He will find the secret instead of losing it! So, Ted went back to hunting, and remembered the secret.
 On a white cliff, near a green lake, Ted  found a chest. Ted opened the lock, but right there was a girl who snatched it away.

“There it is!” she said. “I found it!”
“Hey!” said Ted. “That’s my secret! Who are you?”
“I’m Theodora, the huntress.” She said. She looked just like him.
“Of course!” said Ted, “If I’m here, and I remember, then you forgot it.”
“It’s mine now!” said the girl.
“Yes, but you’re just a mirror illusion.” said Ted. “I’m going to leave now, and believe that I still have it.” And Ted walked out of the mirror with the secret chest, that he didn’t have before he entered.

“Amazing!” said Ted to the warlock. “I’ll go home now.”
“No! I’m a warlock! I keep all the world’s secrets!” said the warlock.
“Why, yes, you do.” said Ted. “But, only if you teach me your magic.”
“How dare you!” Yelled the warlock who raised his wand. But, Ted blocked it with the secret chest. The warlock sobbed. He was turned into a frog. “Okay, I’ll teach you my magic. Just turn me back.”  And the wizard taught him all his magic, and Ted flew back to his house and put down the big chest. “What an adventure!” said Ted.
A little while later, Ted passed by a wandering merchant.
“Would you like to sell your secret?” asked the merchant.
  “No.” said Ted, and smiled. “This secret is mine, and it has gotten me all the magic and collections of the land.”

“What is it worth to you?” asked the salesman.
“Everything.” said Ted. “It took me sixty-one weeks to find, and the nun couldn’t help me get it back. I freed the willows, and learned magic to get it back.”
“What about some gold?” The man asked.
Ted nodded finally. “I can use gold. You can have the chest, but not the secret.” Ted took the gold, and the merchant laughed.
“Deal!” But, he looked inside for the secret and saw nothing.
And Ted went home happily, with his secret inside his head.

I’M AN INTERGALACTIC WARRIOR: ON DISABILITY AS AN ALIEN CULTURE:

I’M AN INTERGALACTIC WARRIOR: ON DISABILITY AS AN ALIEN CULTURE:

Well, it’s been an exciting weekend! I had a friend over for olives and beer while trying to explain intercultural discourse, followed a Doctor Who blog, (Blogtor Who); I got a surprise visit from my mom and went to Whole Foods for Indian. Curry tofu. Later, we had curry chicken, but my mom is vegetarian, and so she had more tofu. On the first trip out for lunch, she explained to me that she’d met a “spirit reader”; a shaman. Being a sci-fi nut and a storyteller, I usually take such readings with a grain of salt. This one especially. So, she told me that he said I was an intergalactic warrior from the Pleiades in a past life, and she had been Alantean.

    For me, I guess it was just cool to be pictured as an intergalactic warrior. I don’t believe it for a second except as cool sci-fi. Maybe I’ll write a story about it. What was interesting is that the shaman said that in my “present form” I felt pulled down by the density of my physical body. This is before he had learned that I have cerebral palsy. So, as we ate, I couldn’t stop thinking: If I know the environment of the Pleiades constellation, then maybe I can extrapolate some idea of the weapons and culture that existed there.
 
 One of the things I had read later on an astronomy website said that its surrounded by a nebula, pulsars, and flare stars. So, I got this idea of people battling in zero gravity with radiation guns, energy shield rings, flamethrowers, light saber-type weapons darken  the bright nebulous battlefield like camouflage  Though I’m sure this is all laughable to a real astronomer: If life existed on such a constellation, wouldn’t it be informed by its nebulous and poisonous environment? Can any real astronomers help me out?

   Also, I got to watch all of Joss Whedon’s 2009 Astonishing X-Men. I especially like Joss Whedon’s depiction of Professor X…although his wheelchair looks like concrete. Looking back on it, I suppose there’s an element of alienation in every Professor X portrayal, because, so far as I know…he has never been designed by a person with a disability. If anyone can prove me wrong, I’d love to be proved wrong. Professor X has always been my hero, but it never really struck me how odd his wheelchairs are until I saw him in Astonishing X-Men.

   The earliest depictions of Professor X as paralyzed were in the 60s. He has a practical manual chair, with a blanket over the legs. In the 90s X-men he has a hover chair, but I wonder if this is reflective of the density of being pulled down by his body. It seems to symbolize the hope of inclusion, but is so impractical. I think in the 80s, he retained the manual chair, but in 1989 it became a power chair in Pryde of The X-Men. Thus, in X-Men Arcade it was also a power chair, but ways were contrived by which Xavier could also walk (in the comics, and 90s cartoon.) The power chair model returned in Bryan Singer’s X-Men trilogy, and the walking power suits stopped; however, Xavier dies. Days of Future’s Past may right this wrong! In X-Men: Evolution Xavier becomes a slave of Apocalypse.

    It seems being both the world’s most powerful telepath and disabled means the writers really don’t know what to do with Professor X physically except destroy him or make him evil. Let’s not forget Warren Ellis’s Onslaught Epic! (Hover chair Xavier; 1996.) But, the Onslaught Epic does raise a good point…that people never say what they mean…Ellis’s Xavier can’t take this anymore, and years of repressed psychic darkness turn him into Onslaught. As a person with a disability, I can say I’ve been upset by the doubletalk I sometimes experience, such as when someone able-bodied says they think of me as “Just the same” as them; but obviously I’m different. Being telepathic and disabled would amplify (and perhaps verify.) this doubt. So, in that sense Xavier has been very strong for 30 years holding back. He is repeatedly referred to as the most powerful telepath on Earth, so Onslaught must be a negative manifestation of all his mental power.

    Indeed, I might not be an ancient alien warrior, but my first experience as an alien was the awareness of the difference between my mental and physical abilities. I’m at home in more a weightless, maybe formless environment. One ruled by imagination. But, at the same time, that means there’s a certain euphoria in every physical victory. Every hang out, every time I give a correct speech, turn of phrase, when my speech inspires ACTION, when I even go to the library across the street; there’s a feeling of victory, going beyond my form.

    Speaking of form, now that The Doctor is set to regenerate this Christmas, I wonder what form he’ll take next. In the sense that he’s a formless super genius unbound by time, The Doctor has always been my friend in disability experience. But, as you have seen, I have a tendency to read disability as an alien experience. Even in disability-based communities. Because no one experience is the same. For every Iron Man, or alien, cyberpunk, or sci-fi experience…there seems to me to be a disabled experience as well. I am able in this way to make the familiar seem strange. I’m comfortable looking into alien spaces.

MEET THE BLUE EAR

MEET THE BLUE EAR:

Marvel Comics has a new deaf superhero…The Blue Ear!

 

http://marvel.com/news/story/18801/meet_the_blue_ear

Well, Marvel has a new disabled hero! He has a super hearing aide! Did you read the linked article? It’s interesting to me how the artist picked up the West Coast Avengers #1 and pointed out that Hawkeye lost his hearing and had to wear a hearing device. In my opinion, Marvel has always been more disability-friendly because of their focus on how ordinary people make the best of what they’re given. They already have Professor X and Daredevil as visibly disabled heroes, and now the Blue Ear shows us a hero for the deaf community, and Anthony Smith himself!
 
The artist recalls that even Anthony’s name sounded like a superhero name: “The Blue Ear”. As it says in the article, Anthony’s mom even said that her suggestion would probably not make it past the spam filters. Everyone wants to be a hero these days.

   But, I think all that I can really say is growing up as a 90s kid and watching the X-men cartoon, I was certainly inspired by Professor X. When you see someone acting as a hero who has your disability (or uses your assistive device, anyway.) That person becomes someone to look up to. This was certainly one smart mom to go and contact Marvel to give her son a hero. I think as a disabled person, for me personally, I often feel like I have to try extra-hard to perform at the super-level. It’s nice to know that Professor X is there, in my struggles, as is the Blue Ear for the Deaf community.

I think the reason for Marvel’s success with disability themes is that, aside from a diverse roster of heroes like Professor X and Daredevil, who are visibly disabled; most of the Marvel origin stories are about accidents from which the superhero gains powers. That's a constant Marvel theme: Spider-Man bit by a spider, Wolverine's skeleton replaced with adamantium steel, the X-men are all mutants who face discrimination. They teach us to cope, and how to turn apparent tragedies into strengths. A character like the Blue Ear would already have friends around who could relate to him; including Anthony, who will no doubt look up to him as a role model to go beyond his limits and be a hero. Marvel has always had a better track record with disabled characters, I will say, as opposed to DC. But, by no means is this meant to turn into a Marvel vs. DC thing. I’ve seen a quadriplegic hero in an independent comic called The Silver Scorpion. The superhero landscape is changing, and it appears to include disabled heroes too, as well.

    When I as a kid saw Professor X fighting for mutant civil rights, in my mind, he was also fighting for disability rights. His disability honed his superpower that much more. I can’t think of a better role model than The Blue Ear! Also, after you’ve checked out the above article, be sure to check out some old articles I made exploring disabilities in Marvel animated movies! They were published in the VSA Cleveland Newsletter in Fall of 2012, so you know they’re good! Well, excelsior, Blue Ear! Welcome to the Marvel Universe!

 HULK VS.: http://christopherbowsman.blogspot.com/2012/07/bruce-banner-i-know-thee-to-be-man-of.html
AVENGERS (2006):http://christopherbowsman.blogspot.com/2012/07/ultimate-avengers-any-questions-any.html
AVENGERS 2: RISE OF THE PANTHER (2006): http://christopherbowsman.blogspot.com/2012/07/ultimate-avengers-2-rise-of-panther.html
INVINCIBLE IRON MAN (2007): http://christopherbowsman.blogspot.com/2012/07/invincible-iron-man-2007.html
NEXT AVENGERS: http://christopherbowsman.blogspot.com/2012/07/next-avengers-heroes-of-tomorrow.html
DR. STRANGE: http://christopherbowsman.blogspot.com/2012/07/doctor-strange-2007.html

IPAD ACCESSIBILITY REVIEW: INJUSTICE: GODS AMONG US

IPAD ACCESSIBILITY REVIEW: INJUSTICE: GODS AMONG US

    When I saw Injustice Gods Among Us available for free on the iPad, I couldn’t resist. It’s one of the hottest games out this season, and I’m always up for a good comic book-based fighting game. I get to punch people? As a superhero/villain? Sign me up. At best, it will be almost as good as the home console version. At worst, it’ll be a cheesy knock-off, littered with pay-to-play content that I‘ll just avoid like Kryptonite. I don’t have instant access to a home console so for me, this was too good to pass up. It makes me want to try the home console version!
 
A short tutorial explains the basics of combat. To my surprise, it isn’t really turn-based combat; but neither is it exactly real-time. Rather there seems to be an amount of time attacks can take. The rest depends on tap speed and swipes for “hard” attacks. The most difficult for me is to block, which requires pressing two fingers down quickly on the iPad. Typically, I solve this by turning the iPad more towards me so that my two fingers register, instead of my two fingernails. But, as reaction time is a factor, it’s still an issue, but I’m learning ways around it. I guess you could say, one advantage of the iPad version is that the characters are usually in fixed positions, unless knocked down or performing a superpower. This, for me, is advantage; I don’t worry about moving AND attacking. But, it is obviously a limitation of the iPad game, and I’d like to see the “real game.”

   Thus, it’s not really a fighting game, but then few iPad games are. It’s more like a fighting game/role-playing game, where you buy equipment, and level up to improve stats, attacks, and superpowers. The superpowers are fun to watch! And you unlock more (Up to three.) as you level up. Mercifully, characters can be gained by winning fights, but it’s a bummer that all characters aren’t readily available. Unless…guess what? You pay or get in-game points! No thanks, I‘ll wait to get Batman and Superman; even though that’s HALF the reasons anyone will GET the game. So, finding out my starting roster was Green Arrow, Green Lantern, and Solomon Grundy…yeah, I was a little mad. But, my faith in the game was renewed when I unlocked Catwoman after 2 fights. I never claimed that this was better than the actual game; I just wanted to see the superpowers and the fights!

   The superpowers are activated by tapping the superpower bar once you’ve dealt enough damage and it fills up. Now, here’s where some accessibility issues come in for me. Obviously, I’ve got to do swipes for hard attacks, but that’s not too difficult, although probably any other game I would’ve been more harsh on, but I just love a good fighting game/comic book throw-down. I can usually get away with just tapping as fast as I can, and then attempting a swipe at the end, for a knockdown blow. The superpowers on the other hand require different motions to deal more damage; but they typically do a lot of damage regardless if you increase the damage with the motions or not; plus, they’re fun to watch, and add some strategy to the game as to when to use them. There’s a tag-team system (three heroes each fight) where you tap on a character to bring him/her in. And idle heroes heal, too, when not fighting…so it adds a little more accessibility, in that if things get tough, just bring in the “Tank”; or use a superpower for a knockdown and tag out.

     For example, two of my favorites right now are Green Lantern and Catwoman. Lantern’s “Turbine Engine” superpower (He rams an engine of green ring energy into the opponents face!) increases damage with rapid taps. Catwoman’s cat claws increase damage with vertical and horizontal swipes. Of the characters I have, Green Arrow’s “Electric Arrow” is probably the easiest, and usually does about 53 damage regardless. When activated, a cross-hair appears, and it just says, “Tap to shoot”. Well, okay then! I can do that. The hardest and most powerful thus far is my Solomon Grundy, but, he’s obviously a “Tank”. Catwoman is DPS. I’ve won fights just by tapping really fast with the cat claws. Each fighter has their own strategies, but if you play RPGs…it’s easy enough to handle.

     Overall, my biggest letdown is that you have to unlock characters/skills with points and (No thank you.) real money. I’ve been imagining these fights forever in my head, as I imagine most others have. My fantasy battles though didn’t exactly include Solomon Grundy vs. Nightwing. I wanted to see Superman vs. Batman, like everyone else! But, the game is so engaging to me, that I’m willing to get through it all, and unlock them. I’d be more harsh on the game’s block mechanism, if I didn’t like seeing the fights so much. My own bias, but there you go! I’m going to have some great DIY physical therapy with the game’s fast-paced battles. There are a few dexterity issues such as superpower moves, but I’ll learn quickly, or else just outsmart the iPad and hold it at different angles. That said, I really like the game, but would prefer it had more heroes and more fighting-game elements than RPG elements. Injustice, indeed!

    In conclusion, I’m mostly satisfied with the game because I get to see comic book fights. But, I’d rather not spend points and money for equipment, skills, and characters. (Though I don’t know if that also applies to the home console versions.) In addition, I’ve developed my own strategies around some iPad accessibility issues; and I WANT to master them! Which is saying a lot. But, in my opinion, one of the advantages of a 100% fighting game is being able to dive right in and fight, even if you just button mash. Some say cheap, I say accessible! So, in the end, it’s a great game visually, with some dexterity issues, and some iPad limitations. Some of these (like fixed fighting positions.) are good; others (like blocking and supermoves.) are difficult, and still others (like pay-to-play content.) are unforgivably unjust!

   But, I can learn ways around the difficult things. In fact, I want to. It’s a small obstacle for having this great little comic book fight simulator in my hand. I just have to work at unlocking characters and finding out which combos of hero teams works best. If the game has a Kryptonite though, it would be not letting me start the game with Superman and Batman! And I haven’t even unlocked Superman…so perhaps I should say…yellow ring? No, it’s just not the same!  Also, all the heroes profiles are represented by cards. Why’s everything in an RPG have to be a card now? I blame Magic: The Gathering. Still have to see the “real game”!


FINAL GRADE: C+ (Great visuals, but…Pay-to-play content; multiple dexterity issues; RPG
elements/micro-managing.)

ACCESSIBILITY GRADE: C (Can tag-out to heal at least; use superpowers for knockdowns, hold at different angles to make sure fingers touch screen.)

FORGIVENESS FACTOR: C (50/50. Unlimited continues, but limited starting roster. Fixed positions, but no difficulty settings.)

TOUCHSCREEN CONTROL: B (Rapid taps/swipes; two-finger blocks, swipe-based attacks.)

WHY IS EVERYTHING A CARD?

                                                  (Performing Nightwing's hard attack!)

                                         (Green Arrow attacks with his bow, for some reason.)

(Cat claw superpower!)

GAME ACCESSIBILITY REVIEW: SUPER METROID (SNES):

  As I was growing up, there were often games I’d watch my able-bodied twin play and consider inaccessible for myself. 1994’s Super Metroid was one such game. The game seemed to require quick reflexes for shooting and jumping I just didn’t have. It was a shame because Metroid seemed like it involved a lot of exploring (rare for side-scrollers, back then.) and looked like an amazing world.  The map is huge!

  Because of these 3 things, (rapid button pushing, huge map, dexterity issues.) I sort of avoided playing this game back in its prime. Which is why I was pleasantly surprised at how accessible and fun it is! Full disclosure: I use a walk-thru for some parts, but because I want a semi-1994 experience, I only use it when I’m stuck. I’m frequently grateful that walk-thrus exist; at the same time, it’s fun to explore the planet.

   Most of the advantage of Super Metroid’s accessibility comes from the fact that it is a 2D side-scroller, as were previous Metroid titles. What I mean is you can only move left and right, but by the same token, your enemies have the same limits, and from what I’ve seen, they don’t always move too fast or fill up the screen (like in Castlevania.)

   There are a few relics from the 90s, such as in-game save points. Also, buttons are readily re-mappable in the game’s start-up screen, but not in-game. Despite the ease and pace of the game, it is a massive labyrinth. I would say that’s it’s major setback for accessibility, but that’s easily overcome with modern technology. Also, I just can’t resist the game’s foreboding futuristic atmosphere, which seems inspired by Alien. Only replace Sigourney Weaver with the bounty hunter Samus Aran. Not that it effects accessibility but for a 16-bit game, the soundtrack and graphics are, well, super.

   In the modern gaming world, it’s hard to imagine a game as well balanced for a side-scroller. Since a major emphasis of the game is on exploring, I think, you don’t get mobbed. Or perhaps this is a processor limitation or something about the 16-bit era in general. The flipside to that of course, is probably the only reason it’s inaccessible. If it were ’94 still, I’d undoubtedly be lost and have no idea what to do; but since it’s not much of the frustration is removed.

   Modern side-scrollers tend to fill up the screen with enemies or move at breakneck speeds. So far as I can tell, there’s only one timed part of the game; the lab escape in the beginning of the game, but as the game lets you retry as many times as you like, (and that’s the beginning, so yes, you start at the beginning. Save points come a little later after you learn to use missiles.) it’s easy. Overall, I feel the game gives you time to figure out it’s platform-jumping and other logic puzzles. This is something sorely lacking in modern gaming, and also adds to the feel of isolation in the game.

     I’m glad I picked up this gem from the past again, and was happy to discover it wasn’t as inaccessible as I thought back then! But, it is a game of its time. Without modern walk-thrus, I might have never played it again. But, I do like that it moves the game along at a predictable speed, rather than blasting the player through the story with tons enemies and quick draw reflexes. These are the sins of the modern side-scroller (You can actually trace it back to Metal Slug…even Contra.) So, it’s nice to have a game that lets you take time. However, it’s probably because you’d get lost in pre-walkthru times! Double-edged sword.

    In conclusion, while exploration in Super Metroid can be tiresome, it’s still a good game and is well-paced enough to make it plenty accessible for me. There’s a good balance of logic and action, and it actually avoids most the things I thought would make it inaccessible. My 9-year-old self probably wouldn’t have liked it, but now I’m able to appreciate the game’s maze, especially because I have walk-thrus. More importantly, it’s me playing this time. Some games are worth a second look, especially when it’s through your own “alien” eyes.

FINAL GRADE: B-

ACCESSIBILITY GRADE: B (Well-paced action and logic puzzles. Re-mappable buttons. Screen is almost never cluttered. Enemies have predictable patterns.)

FORGIVENESS FACTOR: C (Fairly old-school; you get save points. That‘s it. A game of its time.)

 CONTROL: B (There‘s pretty much a 1:1 action/response ratio; the rest depends on what you’ve configured. )