PUNISHER: WAR ZONE (2008):

PUNISHER: WAR ZONE (2008):

“Frank Castle, known as the Punisher, ruthlessly demolishes organized crime, but it starts an even bigger war.”

Punisher goes against Jigsaw after he kills his don. Jigsaw was Billy The Beaut, and after Punisher shot up the place, his face ended up in a glass grinder and he becomes Jigsaw. He recruits his old criminal buddies, including “Loony Bin Jim” to take down Punisher. Meanwhile, Frank Castle himself expands his weaponry, finds more friends (Micro and Carlos.), and finds a family to protect.

I dunno. The gunfights were pretty good. Especially in the beginning. It won an award for best stunts in 2010! It's just that in terms of comic book movies, almost anything Batman pre-Dark Knight trilogy looks prehistoric. The whole plot point of Jigsaw being granted immunity because he has information on a terrorist attack seemed a little dated. It is nice though, to see lower stakes in a comic book movie after years of interconnected plots and cosmic enemies.

I will say for as gritty as this was, it wasn't without a sense of humor. Jigsaw in particular looks like he's having a blast. He sort of reminds me of Jack Nicholson Joker. A little more loud and goofy than modern villains. He'll get right up in your face and laugh at the good guys. Although, Punisher being the character he is, he's just sort of unmoved, and just stoically shoots, especially when he blows up the parkour gang boss with a rocket launcher...he's not impressed.

Overall, I'd say the movie was ok, but it reminds me of just a basic mob movie. If you removed the Marvel Comics element, it'd be indistinguishable from any action movie of the decade. Iron Man was just getting into gear though, so you can't really blame it at this time. Things like parkour and Homeland Security immunity unfortunately date it instantly. I'd say skip it, unless you're already a Punisher fan.

Black Widow (2021):

BLACK WIDOW (2021):

Hunted down in the US after “Civil War”, (2016) Black Widow elopes to Eastern Europe to find her family. But, she's not even safe there, as Russians try to bring her and her family back under a mind-control program and she's being pursued by Taskmaster. This film does a great job with action scenes, as well as family drama. It's basically a spy film with a superhero twist.

The film doesn't slow down very much. If I have one complaint about the movie, it's that anything other than the action feels very slow. But, maybe that's just because they address the questions of free will vs. Authority very directly, and it being a Marvel film, they have to make it over two hours. I'm a fan of Black Widow, and Scarlett Johansson is a good action star, but there was something about the pacing that gave me a sort of mental whiplash.

David Harbour is funny as Red Guardian. He sort of exists to establish the Russian supersoldier legacy. A major theme of modern Marvel movies seems to be leaving legacies behind. Whether for yourself, or family. Anyway, I enjoyed it. It's female James Bond with a Marvel twist. If that's your thing, check it out!

Iron Man and Captain America: Heroes United (2014)

                                           Iron Man and Captain America: Heroes United (2014):

Captain America: “That’s your problem, Stark. You never strategize.” 

Iron Man: “It’s called thinking on your feet. Or in my case…boot jets!”

You were expecting Guardians of the Galaxy? No, not so soon. This is another CGI adventure in the vein of last year’s Iron Man and Hulk: Heroes United. I have two major problems with this movie. 1. There’s some slight mind control, and 2. The “Waking Life” -like CGI makes the characters’ mouths move funny. That said, it’s at least a good intro for Taskmaster. But, I still feel a little deceived by the title. A little.

You see, the movie sort of tricked me into thinking it would be mostly Cap and Iron Man. But, Taskmaster and Red Skull also feature in it. And that’s fine. Dr. Kruler was also in last year’s Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United. As was Abomination. But, then, even in this movie…I mean, not to ruin it, but you’ve got some Hulk in here, too. There’s just way too 1-on-1 action for job that could’ve been handled easily by the two heroes. Taskmaster is there to fight Cap and Iron Man…while Hulk has an army to take care of!

There is some brief fighting between Cap and Iron Man, but it’s a spar. Plus, the capture and Hawkeying of Cap seems a little too familiar at this point. Give me something other than brainwashing. Although they pull it off nicely. The lesson lays itself on a little thick. Throwing in Hulk doesn’t exactly help the balance of the lesson either. If each hero is to learn something from another…then brainwashing one hero and completely throwing in another seems to defeat that purpose.

I know there’s a twist, but it didn’t need to be made. Iron Man still rubs off a little bit on Cap and vice versa. But, essentially this is no different from  Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United, maybe even with worse CGI. And it’s all kind of wrapped safely within the plot devices of 2012’s The Avengers. Still, it was an ambitious-looking movie, introducing Taskmaster and showing off Cap’s combat skills. But, if you want that, watch The Winter Soldier.

In my opinion, the more I think about this movie, the more I don’t like it. But, at least it’s only 70 minutes. Maybe it’s just a little too ambitious. I liked the voice acting, but most of the movie is just a retread, with stiff mouth movements and unnecessary Hulking out. If they’re going to call it anything, it should be called Iron Man, Hulk, & Captain America: Heroes United. I want to say it could’ve been good…but it’s too much and too sloppy for a 70-minute 3D feature. I’d give it 2/5 stars. And one Hulk for some reason.  
 

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST (2014) Review:

                                

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST (2014) Review:

                                                              (Colossus vs. a sentinel!)                                                

(The sentinels!)

Future Professor X: “Just because someone stumbles and loses their path, doesn't mean they can't be saved.”  

   So, as a fan of Professor X, I have to talk about X-men: Days of Future Past. There are even two Professor Xs in this one. Specifically, I liked the dystopian Terminator feel, which loosely matched the dystopian Terminator feel of the comics. It was basically Terminator with the X-men in it, but I like both those things! Everyone uses their powers, so if that’s what you wanna see, you’re in luck. Wolverine really stabs people, guys!

In fact, one of the angles about superpowers that I liked about this movie was that even though there are two Prof Xs and one (The younger version.) walks, when he walks, he can’t use his telepathy. I thought that was cool. He needs his disability. Now, there’s a lot of people complaining that this time travel stuff and the time doubles erase the current continuity, blah blah blah…I don’t care. The wonderful thing about fiction is you can choose which parts happened. If you like the old trilogy, you can say it happened. Personally, I like this one!

This timeline starts in the 1960s and goes through the 1970s…but there are giant robots in it, and an assassination attempt on Bolivar Trask…the creator of them. Mystique is the would- be assassin. Also, I think Peter Dinkelage is a great Bolivar Trask. He’s not pure evil. He thinks he’s protecting humanity from the mutants. His fault is he doesn’t see them as humans, which they are. And there’s a nice little lesson in there about not judging people based on fear. Future Professor X is a lot more optimistic than the past one!

But, Future Professor X needs to contact past Professor X to move forward, with the help of Magneto. Personally, I think all he’d have to say is “Don’t worry! You get my sweet hover chair in the future!” But, it takes a lot longer than that and they have a big showdown with giant robots, and Wolverine and Professor X have to stop him. Good stuff!

Overall, a good action movie that establishes a neat new continuity. I’d give it 4/5 stars. It’s a little weird to cover the sentinels in just one movie, as in the 90s cartoon and comics they lasted many years. They definitely upped the action. And I like how every movie covers a different era. I predict next will be the 80s. It keeps getting bigger and better. Mutant battles, robots, and good disability messages. What’s not to love? Go see it.  

                                               (Mutants face extinction in an apocalyptic future.)

(Beast, Wolverine, Prof X: 1970s.)

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (2014) REVIEW:

           

“Trust is what makes an army work. Not a bunch of guys running around shooting guns.”

- Captain America

Oh, that Captain America! So honorable. So gee-golly good! So trusting! 70 years frozen in an ice cube and does it even phase him? Nope. Just takes getting used to, he says. I mean, sure he’s got a long list of music and movies to watch, but that’s what the internet is a for. (Right?) And for buddies, he’s got his own little army in The Avengers! Ol’ Cap just never stopped fighting the Good Fight.

But, now his faith in The Good Fight is a little shaken up after he finds out his buddy Nick Fury’s been keeping secrets from him. What’s a supersoldier to do?  Why, keep fighting The Good Fight of course, and find out the truth behind SHIELD‘s secrets, even while being framed for them! There’s a lot more action in this one, and a lot more hitting people with shields. Especially because he’s hunted by The Winter Soldier!

I loved this movie even though a few things were changed from the comic book version, of The Winter Soldier. Namely, Bucky isn’t picked up by the Russians. Rather, he’s a HYDRA (read: super Nazi.) agent, and being a Russian assassin is sort of his cover story. He’s made to look Russian, given Soviet arms, (and an arm…) and brainwashed.  Although, it’s really HYDRA in control.

Yet, every time Cap and Black Widow get closer to the conspiracy, Winter Soldier appears to stop them. Physically, (and with that cyborg arm!) he’s a match for Cap, but not mentally, since he’s being Hawkeyed (a.k.a. mind-controlled.) It’s Cap’s good morals that win the day, even as helicarriers explode around him. Of course, if you’ve read the comics, you know where the Winter Soldier will end up, and why it was necessary that he be the titular villain in this arc.

Speaking of storylines, I guess I’m one of those rare beasts who absolutely loved Captain America: The First Avenger. This may be either because I liked the moral, or because I spent too much time studying WWII and the German language…or all of that! Nonetheless, I was pleased to see connections from the earlier film play into the HYDRA conspiracy. The arrival of Dr. Zola details HYDRA’s Cold War work…which is based in fact. The superpowers did scramble to pick up German scientists in the post-war period. In effect, Cap is still fighting the same war: Freedom vs. fear. Wowzers! Historical fiction! What will Marvel 2.0 think of next?

Speaking thematically, this is where I think Marvel upped the ante for the movies. Behind Cap’s loyalty and trust are (I think.) a tacit rejection of Batman’s use of fear as a weapon, which places Marvel vs. DC effectively in two camps philosophically. Compare Cap’s objections to SHIELD’s operations with Batman hacking every cell phone in Gotham. “This isn’t freedom, this is fear!” Cap might well say. But, philosophy aside, I simply loved everyone in the movie. I really think Marvel just created a great new world by destroying its old one.

Of course, Cap has still got it in either world. He can  still kick butt! And so can his new friends Falcon (I was worried Falcon might be a cheesy sidekick, but he works his way in to be necessary to the plot, and a good pal to Cap!) and Black Widow!  For me, this Marvel 2.0’s best film to date. It has a clear vision, good action, and sets up fascinating story arcs, if I know where this is going. Frankly, I can’t wait to see where they’ll go next! Freedom prevails! 5/5 stars from me!

(Did I mention I think I see where they're going?)

Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher (2014):

Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher (2014):

Black Widow: Don’t kill them, Frank!

Punisher: I have no choice!

    This movie could’ve been so cool, if it were an actual Punisher anime! Instead, it’s an excuse for Black Widow to have a romantic fling with the villain. It starts off kind of cool, where Punisher shoots up a whole room of weapons dealers. But, then, he’s reduced to a tagalong. I’m not kidding. That’s what Nick Fury basically says. You see, because the villain has mind control powers, he needed to have two agents around. And who ends up mind-controlled? Yeah…Punisher.

    To the film’s credit, it does show that Black Widow can go toe-to-toe with Punisher. (Frank Castle). Their fights last about a minute each time…the second time he’s mind-controlled. You see, Punisher is on the heels of a weapons dealer named Kane. Who turns out to be the pawn of a lovesick SHIELD (Elias) Agent who steals SHIELD supersoldier tech to impress Black Widow. He is also the pawn of a Russian terrorist organization. Because that would impress her….invade New York.

     Eventually, the Russians use Elias’s mind control to invade New York with supersoldiers. Much of the movie consists of Black Widow being lovesick with Elias. She can take down Punisher, yes, but is apparently weak in the knees over a random SHIELD scientist who she should’ve just taken down. At least Amadeus Cho is there, a child genius SHIELD Agent who creates a mind shield after Black Widow promises to kiss him. She’s  Punisher with flirting abilities. Win-win!

   And now that Russian supersoldiers are invading New York while Black Widow is being romantic and angsty, The Avengers show up to defend the city! This is one instance in the movie where I did like it better than the movies. Because it’s animation, they have the budget to have all the Avengers show up and do their jobs. Hulk, Iron Man, even Captain Marvel. After all, it is Avengers: Confidential. Gotta have Avengers show up.
   
   In sum, I liked the movie. I liked that they were able to show that Black Widow can kick butt after she was kinda sidelined in The Avengers movie. Unfortunately, this leaves very little time to build up Punisher’s kick butt credibility. I mean, normally he has weapons that fire nukes! But, here he’s regulated to a Hawkeye-type role (I‘m calling it being “Hawkeyed”, from now on!) providing connections to the Russian terrorists, and then being mind controlled. It’s always mind control.

    Mind control aside, I do think It’s a good action film, and they build up Punisher nicely in the beginning. I just wish more superhero movies actually used all their superheroes. Punisher really could’ve been anyone. Anyway, nice to see all The Avengers together in anime form. But, who the heck is Elias? Oh, well. At least Punisher gets some revenge in the end! Go see it! 3/5 stars from me! Worth a watch.

Avengers vs. Justice League: War

Avengers vs. Justice League: War

Captain America: “We need a plan of attack!”

Iron Man: “I have a plan. Attack!”

So, in my last post, I made the claim that there are aesthetic differences in the movie Justice League: War to make it different from Avengers, but that it was basically the same plot. The main aesthetic difference I argued, was fear as a motivator. From the beginning, it is established that Batman is a fugitive, hunted by Green Lantern.

    The heroes in Avengers, however, start out as heroes, and active members of their respective communities from SHIELD to India, for The Hulk. In Justice League: War, The impetus for banding together was only the invasion; but they didn’t have 3 hours to jibe and develop relationships between the characters. Iron Man/Hulk do a good job joking and teaming up to work on the alien object, even though Cap chastises them for being unfocused.

   So, from the start the heroes are paired together, and play off of each other. I often say of the Avengers movie that it is a good example of a viable theory of group communication called “Forming, storming, and norming.” It is of course, arguable that Hawkeye needed a little more exposure, but as the only one in this group who hadn’t had a movie yet, he couldn’t be in the first two stages. Justice League: War has little time to develop and thus normalize the heroes roles: essentially we have “forming, storming, Batman!” But, what is forming, storming, and norming?

    Forming is when the group forms. Black Widow serves this purpose, as well as SHIELD, as well as pairing off the heroes to form relationships…as when Cap breaks up a fight with Tony Stark. Superman also fought with Batman like this. But, then, Batman has to rescue Batman. Also, it’s telling that Wonder Woman avoids meeting the President. I know that’s comic relief, but she acts as a fugitive as well. Whereas Cap keeps the group focused by remaining in his past role: The soldier.

  In this respect, each Avenger contains something that connects him to the mission….and that they’re opposed to. Storming is when they question the mission. Even Tony Stark’s suspicion of SHIELD plays on Cap’s trust in SHIELD. Hulk’s rampage and defeat by Thor connects him to Thor. So, he ends up paired with him. Justice League: War has a storming stage, but it is short, since the heroes never meet until the invasion, and Batman rescues Superman. Abducting Superman for conflict reasons, I feel is an odd choice, but it served to show Batman as a leader, and he takes charge, but the end result is the group never feels solidified…it’s Batman’s show…but that’s okay! They have forming, storming, Batman.

   In sum,  Avengers had more time to dealt with forming, storming, and norming. The norming is solidified by the teams mutual avenging of the death of Coulson. It feels less dark because there is more humor (Iron Man’s a jerk, sometimes, but he enjoys himself!) and has more time for the group’s conflicts to resolve. But, in Justice League: War, DC wants the tension to be there, to use a phrase, because he’s Batman.

  Batman thrives off of being a fugitive, and why not? Batman is popular, and this gets the team together quicker…at the cost of character development. In a sense, DC must go with the Batman feel at this point, because the audience already knows him. In a similar vein (Although you have to credit the writers!) Marvel’s Avengers follows the aesthetic of it’s most bankable character for much the same reason. And they are both billionaires…ironic since they are the most bankable.

Ultimately, the cultural aesthetic comes down to who was leading the group. Cap leads the Avengers, kicking into full army mode and formulating his plan of attack! Batman serves as a leader, but only after Superman is underplayed. But, the circumstances called for him to step in…Because he’s Batman! And it would save them making more movies.

Even though Justice League: War is a good preview of what a Justice League movie might look like, to me, it’s clearly following an Avengers formula…but that’s okay! It’s a good decision. That just means they’ll have to go with more familiar characters, and resolve less interpersonal conflict. But, Batman thrives on conflict, and just happens to be the most recognizable character in that universe. Yes, the Avengers all had movies, but DC is playing catch-up, and doesn’t have time to build up there characters. So, Batman may be the hero the DC movies deserve…but not the one they need! Only time will tell!

Bonus Question: Who do you think would win? Avengers or Justice League?

Iron Man and Hulk: Heroes United (2013):

Iron Man and Hulk: Heroes United (2013):

“Well, Hulk I’d say it’s been nice seeing you, but…It really hasn’t.”

- Iron Man

Hulk is on a rampage! After Abomination (Evil big Spiky Hulk!) is let loose, Hulk is willing to destroy the city to stop him! But, not Tony Stark. And he’s been training the Hulkbuster armor. Hulk and Iron Man go at it, and trade ultra-sonic blasts. Actually, if you’ve seen the Avengers, you know Hulk always needs to go on a rampage first. Before they can team-up. The Hulkbuster armor doesn’t actually get used much. But, the training is nice, and then Tony has to break up Hulk/Abomination.
   
    Now, as it turns out the evil Dr. Kuhler was planning on siphoning the monsters’ rage through an arc reactor. And as they are both fighting, he’s able to get access to both. Hulk battles evil Iron Man suits is imprisoned with Abomination in one of those giant turbine things that look like the ones in The Incredibles and they are imprisoning Mr. Incredible.

   What Dr. Kuhler didn’t expect was the creation of Zzzax. A being of electrical power, who Iron Man is able to stop by “overfeeding it”. Since Zzzax siphons off power, and is resistant to both Hulk and Iron Man. He’s beyond even the control of Dr. Kuhler and his Hydra agents. But, Iron Man and Hulk have so much power, they’re able to “give it a stomach ache” together.
 
 This is a neat little animated feature. First off, the whole thing is basically one long fight: Hero-to-hero, villain-to-villain, so there’s not much too complain about. (But, the 3D is a little dated. It's reminiscent of MTV’s Spider-Man from 2003.) Secondly, it’s only about 70 minutes long, so it is rather short. But, it packs a punch, and you get plenty of Iron Man’s wit. I didn’t like that Hulk spoke good English, but that’s personal preference.

Overall, I’d say if you’re a fan of action-based comics and have 70 minutes to watch Hulk tear up New York, give it a watch. The 3D might be a little distracting. But, it is a good story if you like Hulk and Iron Man…or The Incredibles! 3 out of 5 stars from me. Even though it feels like it belongs in 2003, it’s a wild trip! I agree with Iron Man. It would be nice, you just never want to meet Hulk that way!

IRON MAN: WORLD’S MOST DANGEROUS VOL. 2 (2009):

IRON MAN: WORLD’S MOST DANGEROUS VOL. 2 (2009):

“I’m just like everybody else now, Pepper. I’m just…normal. And I hate being normal.”

- Tony Stark

     For context, there was a time when I was out of the loop with comics, and I wanted to get back in. So, I remember asking someone in my college cafeteria: “What’s happening with The Avengers these days?” All I knew of The Avengers back then was from videogames, and a few appearances in cartoons. He said: “Oh, they disbanded.” I said: “What?”  Okay, so my jaw dropped. So, when I got back into comics, the first storyline I followed was “The Avengers: Secret Invasion” slightly before the first Iron Man movie came out.

Okay, that was for context. Because I believe “World’s Most Dangerous” may have been an attempt to close that Secret Invasion/Iron Man story arc, and here I have only one part of the story. But, it’s a good one! Tony Stark is on the run from Norman Osborn, who became a mayor, stole Tony’s tech and replaced SHIELD with HAMMER. Anyway, this is less an action graphic novel and more a chase across the globe…though there are battle scenes.

What bothers me the most though about this comic is the way Tony Stark is destroying knowledge of his tech by giving himself memory loss and brain damage. Surely, there must be a more efficient way…but we can tell in this respect that the Marvel movie era is in full swing, as it has him swing by Russia, and ultimately to Afghanistan, where it all began…previously his origin began in China.

Cleverly, he borrows Crimson Dynamo’s suit (an older Russian model.) as his understanding of more complex suits begins to dwindle. But, this gets him clobbered by Pepper Potts in her own suit until they recognize each other…there is some forced drama…but it’s nice to see Pepper kick butt for once.

In a way, the story is oddly prophetic…in Iron Man 3 he DOES DESTROY his suits for no good reason. I know…true love or something. But it least here he’s got brain damage as an excuse. There’s a subplot with Iron Man and Madam Masque, suggesting they had an affair…because of his brain damage? I guess when you remove Stark’s intelligence…he becomes a real jerk. But, I suppose he’s doing it for a good cause.

Lastly, at the big showdown in The Middle East…he gets shot by some terrorists, and he tells them they should just finish the job. But, they can’t, seeing that he’s not the “eternal angel of death” they make him out to be. The message is kinda mixed. It’s forgiveness and self-sacrifice, but also…he has the brain damage…which also seems to insinuate that he has a license to be a jerk.

The ending was satisfying, though. Because Stark gets the crap beat out of him by Osborn, showing the world’s media that Osborn isn’t a hero. So, he’s on the way out. It’s an all right read. Especially the little cameo reveal at the end by Thor-in-disguise! Maybe he can give him his brain back! I mean, without his brain, he is kind of a jerk. And I know it’s about empathy and self-sacrifice, but the way it’s portrayed is hardly a disability rights spin. But, maybe that’s next issue…also the art is fantastic…in spite of the sappiness! 2 out 5 stars!

UPDATES, PLUS DISABILITIES AND SUPERPOWERS

UPDATES, PLUS DISABILITIES AND SUPERPOWERS:

Hey everybody! Long time no see! Here are some updates! I had another paper published, enjoyed the Doctor Who 50th, and had my own birthday on 11/22. With conventions coming up (notably Ohayocon!) you can be sure I’ll have some anime reviews, and possibly a review of Ohayocon 2014! Stay tuned! For now, here’s  a copy of the article that was published in HireGround. ( From Opportunities for Ohioans with Disabilities.) It’s called  “Disabilities And Superpowers”.

Disabilities and Superpowers
By Chris Bowsman

Editor’s note: Chris Bowsman, age 28, has a B.A. in German, M.A. in Intercultural Communication

If you enjoy Chris’ writing, look him up on the VSA website at http://www.vsao.org/, or follow his personal blog “Through Alien Eyes” at http://www.christopherbowsman.blogspot.com/ (Chris’s Note: Hey, that’s here!)

  I’ve always loved superheroes. When I was a kid I wanted nothing more than to be like Professor X, leader of the X-men. I didn’t have his superpower of telepathy, but hey, I was in a wheelchair, like him, so that was a good start, right? Or at least, that was the reality I lived on the inside.

But on the outside, much of my daily existence was just an exercise in willpower forged from dealing with my dependencies. It still is. Nobody saw my mental Professor X; what they saw was a kid rolling around or occasionally being pushed, often demanding extra attention and struggling to articulate words that were often hard for them to understand, limbs sometimes jerking in unexpected directions.

This was the overlay I grew up with. It’s the titanic clash between the multitudes of disabilities people see on the outside, versus what those of us experiencing a whole different world within can create mentally. One of my favorite poets laid it out this way: (Walt Whitman, "Song of Myself")

Do I contradict myself?

Very well then I contradict myself,

(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

I am accustomed to people making assumptions about my intelligence and capabilities based on what it looks like I can do, so that really isn’t even a big deal anymore. What I want to say, however, is that my super strength is just determination. My telepathy is called listening. The strengths that I possess are really strengths that anyone can have if used correctly. It is our choices that make us who we are, far more than our abilities … listening and the power to keep fighting, are far better, far more real than telepathy or being able to punch someone into atoms!

If superhero stories tell us anything, it is that people have hidden talents beyond what others can see. Charles Xavier is not just a professor, but the world’s most powerful telepath. Mild-mannered Clark Kent is Superman. Of course, no one looking on from the outside could see these powers of the great superheroes, either. But the invisible (Much more human) lessons we can learn from them involve determination, empathy, and wisdom…just to name a few.

You see, everyone tries to make meaning out of their abilities; what they can and can’t do. I’m still trying to make meaning out of mine. I’ve come a long way from just wanting to be Professor X, to traveling abroad, obtaining my degrees in German and Intercultural Communication!

Two of the most dangerous things you can do, in my opinion, are assuming that physical differences are bad, or pretending that we’re the same as you if you don’t have a disability. Above all, a body must be lived in, and all of us embody a little different view of the truth. Remember the Walt Whitman quote above? And as Professor X said: “We’re not dangerous…we are different.” Don’t be afraid to learn from these differences. Embrace them! Understand them! You may be surprised.

   In sum, I don’t have telepathy; but I have empathy. I don’t have super strength; I have my spirit. To me, superheroes are just about simple human abilities that I have, and how to use them. Each one of us has some amazing abilities if we try to discover them. Who knows? That mild-mannered reporter could be Superman. Yes, even that guy in the wheelchair could be Professor X!

Halo: Fall of Reach: Covenant Review (2011)

Halo: Fall of Reach: Covenant Review (2011)

Kelly: If we miss…

Sam: “We’re Spartans, Kelly. We don‘t miss.” 

So, I was sitting in Barnes & Noble a couple days ago, and decided to grab a random graphic novel to keep me occupied. That graphic novel was "Covenant"…which is a Halo comic. I’ll be lenient on this one since I’ve only ever played Halo about twice, and that was when it was new. But hey, I even reviewed Super Metroid, so how hard could this be?  Today’s review is the long-winded  Halo: Fall of Reach: Covenant, graphic novel from Marvel Comics!

     The graphic novel seems to follow the UNSC around, first the fleet, then the Spartans (Which are like Super Marines I guess.) and then the grunts, as they all battle the Covenant, which are weird looking aliens crossed between a Muppet and a bug from Starship Troopers. One of the things I find hilarious about Halo is how outmatched the Covenant seems to be, and yet the UNSC constantly acts like they’re a threat.

    In the first chapter, there’s a lot of techno babble about some secret weapon they have but: “They will counterattack, and we will be destroyed.” So, maybe not such a good plan then? After the fleet gets destroyed, then they call in the Spartans, and unveil…sigh…the Mjonir battle suits at a base called Damascus. They really grabbed for mythology there. I have no problem with mythology, but it’s not a madlib, okay? They should have reasons behind the names.

Anyway, in the second chapter it’s all about the Spartans: Three Spartans Jeff, Sam, and Kelly have to land on this Covenant ship and blow it up. At least, in this part we actually get to see the Covenant, and it’s hilarious. One of the Spartans gets trapped as he sets the explosive, and sacrifices himself so that the others survive. One of the things I liked about this sections was, for all its madlib mythology, they explain that the armor triples their strength, and in normal test subjects the suit reacted so quickly it broke their bones. Spartans, however, are not normal test subjects.

   Really? And I thought I was just playing a first-person-shooter! Now, I know that I actually was simulating a hilariously ineffectual military organization that relies on secret plans and test subjects! At least Captain America was one superhero fighting Supernazis, so he has a reason to exist! Here, it’s just Dr. Hadsley takes three random guys to a secret base after their fleet was destroyed and gives them super armor. Can anyone explain this to me other than as a bad parody of Starship Troopers? I’m not kidding…the whole organization seems to be built on secret plans, instead of actual plans.

    The final chapter is the battle of Cote de Azur. I just thought this was badly written. There are scenes where people are saying: “We’re losing men here!” and “This is more than I’ve ever seen in one place!” But, we never actually see much of the battle except for one ship that takes out a jeep. Show, don’t tell! Anyway, I was willing to give Halo a chance. It does describe the mythology for me, but I feel like at the end of the day, it’s just a bland first-person-shooter about a terribly ineffective military organization battling Muppets.

    The Covenant still don’t seem like much of a threat to me. They are bug-Muppets vs. super soldiers with guns! Most of the destruction, as I understand it, was caused by the UNSC’s poor decision-making, and not the alien threat. They sacrificed men, they sacrificed the fleet, and they sacrifice test subjects.

    Just because I’m relatively new to the Halo universe, I’ll rate this one 2.5 out of 5 stars. It does explain the universe (Though it’s poorly shown.) and it seems to be at least a good parody of Starship Troopers. But the illustrator didn’t have much to work with, because scenes were dedicated to people talking about death rather than showing it.

 I feel like Captain Kirk would be really disappointed in the UNSC. And even he would take along some red shirts, but he always had a plan! Oh, well…I suspect within the videogame Halo the secret plan plot exists to make the player feel special. But, as a comic, it just left me in the dark about how this organization can even operate!   Master Chief has nothing on Captain Kirk!
   

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Pilot Review:

AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. PILOT REVIEW:

“The secret is out. For decades, your organization stayed in the shadows, hiding the truth. Now we know. They’re among us. Heroes. And monsters. The world is full of wonders.”

- Skye

   Having only watched the pilot of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, I have a lot of hope that it will become like a Marvel-based X-Files. The first episode introduces us to many main characters, like Agent Ward and yes, Coulson. A lot of it feels frankly like a rehash of The Avengers movie with none of the main characters in it. I suspect they’ll go around hunting super powered beings until another invasion occurs.

The first episode deals with the organization recruiting a new agent (Ward), and an activist hacker named Skye. Coulson picks up Skye and they investigate into a man with superpowers, and Ward is assigned to take down some of their enemies who I presume are the hackers…of Rising Tide…no doubt working with aliens. I was a little disappointed at the way it ended, but stuck around for the closing scene with Skye and Coulson in a flying car.

I will say this early on it’s too early to say whether I liked it or not. I mean, the setup is good, with it taking place right after the Avengers movie, but they still haven’t discovered what their up against, and most of the show was about introducing the main characters, as a good pilot should. And there are some familiar faces. Maria Hill is there as well as Coulson. I hope in a future episode there might be a Samuel L. Jackson cameo!

It’s way too early to say, but it kind of reminds me of Star Trek DS9...where the characters often wait for the action to come to the lab instead of going it alone. Ward and Skye will end up working together no doubt! I wonder how many Marvel superheroes or super villains they can pull off on a TV budget. Should be exciting! I felt a little uneasy about the ending to the pilot…I don’t think they’d just shoot a potential superhero/supervillian.

So, hopefully that changes. It felt anticlimactic to build up this villains origin, and then just shoot him. Couldn’t they have arrested him? Anyway…they could go anywhere from there though. The Marvel Universe is so big I’m sure we’ll get a few good cameos, and a heck of an invasion! Here’s hoping the world is full of wonders! Excelsior!

DAREDEVIL (2003):

DAREDEVIL (2003):

Daredevil: “They say your whole life flashes before your eyes when you die. And it's true, even for a blind man.”

    Daredevil is all over the place tonally. The opening scene is of Daredevil crashing through a roof, crawling on the ground and then rolling over before being helped up by a priest. Yeah, you don’t want your superhero to appear physically inept before the movie even starts. That’s not a good sign. Though it offers a portrayal of disability, I couldn’t discern what the ethos of it was, but it definitely wasn’t an uplifting one, and straddles, at times, a tone of pity IN A SUPERHERO MOVIE. Pity doesn’t belong in a superhero movie!
 
For every client Matt Murdock investigates and then beats up in the movie, he throws a fit and goes to a confession booth to tell the priest he’s not the bad guy. The trouble is, we know that, as an audience. We want to see Daredevil kick butt, and…for as much as he does…he spends an equal amount of time on the ground, in a confession booth, or throwing a fit. The problem is that Daredevil is never given the chance to be a competent disabled superhero.
 
 In his alter ego as Matt Murdock he’s shown to be a smooth-talking ladies’ man, but he goes passive-aggressive after he loses a criminal who could lead him to Kingpin, and even has to tell the criminal’s young son: “I’m not the bad guy.” He meets Elektra Nachios (A name that makes me laugh because it sounds like nachos.) after the two of them fight and meet cute.

    That’s another problem with this movie. It tries to introduce Daredevil, Elektra, Bullseye and Kingpin (Played marginally well by Michael Clarke Duncan…but he’s just sort of…there to be evil.) Plus, they try to give you an origin story. All that just can’t fit in one movie. It can’t be a comic book movie/noir/rom-com. Another thing that gets annoying is the references to comic book artists…some of the criminals are named Bendis, Miller, Quesada…Murdock’s client is called Mr. Lee. Ha! (But, surprisingly, Stan’s cameo is as a random pedestrian instead of a client!) Also, Kevin Smith is in forensics…okay, we get it, it’s a superhero movie!

   It’s just a shame they couldn’t show that by actually having the hero be heroic. During the course of the movie he’s nearly defeated 3 times (By Elektra, Bullseye, and nearly Michael Clarke Duncan…who you might know as almost EVERYONE ELSE IN THE MOVIE.) The first defeat comes when Elektra outfights him. The second defeat is after Bullseye kills Elektra, and Daredevil’s saved by…wait for it…bats that fly through the church window. Who’s movie is this?

 Oh yeah and Bullseye kills nearly everyone he meets with pointed things, and that gets freakish and annoying. He kills a talkative granny on an airplane with a well-aimed peanut she chokes on! That’s not cool…that’s weird. How do you aim a peanut?
 
Now, I will give the film credit for at least tangentially dealing with disability and coping mechanisms. Daredevil folds his bills different ways in his wallet, uses adaptive computer equipment, and of course uses his cane, which doubles as a grappling hook/Bo staff. They have him use his radar image trick effective in some scenes, but admittedly, it’s a gimmick to help him out of tight spots. There’s a trick he uses where the sound of water outlines people. I thought that was cool, but still a gimmick.

    I cringed a lot watching this movie again…even if it does foreshadow….(I know I promised no more Batman!) Ben Affleck as a possible Batman. The film even tries to introduce the stories of two main characters…Elektra and Daredevil…just like Batman vs. Superman will attempt to do. Here’s hoping Affleck is older and wiser. And a lot less apologetic.

My main beef with the movie is the portrayal of the disability…although I agree that the noir/rom-com tone was unsettling and that might be the bigger beef with mainstream viewers. But, let’s see…aside from his super senses, he’s easily defeated, constantly needs help from Elektra (Who the movie introduces and then kills.) or random priests, and his super senses are easily overcome by noise…he’s got super hearing! Shouldn’t he have worked that out? In this movie, far from being a superhero, Daredevil looks weak, pitiful, and dumb.

    I watch superhero movies to escape my disabled body. No question about it. But, Daredevil’s disability (at least in the eyes of this movie.) is only a superpower when it advances the plot. The rest of the time it puts him in self-doubt and leaves him ultimately pining for the acceptance (and sex…) of an able bodied woman. (Ben Affleck’s now-wife, Jennifer Garner, whom he first met on this set.)

     If superhero movies should do anything, they should uplift people (of all abilities.) and make them feel like they can do anything. But, what do we say about a man who gets beat up 3 times in his own superhero movie? He looks weak, and trapped by his disability. I realize this film doesn’t exactly cater to disability rights, but it should’ve at least been a superhero movie. 1 star for this dull action/comedy/noir that will make you glad Marvel is sticking to action-comedies. Perhaps Affleck knows noir is more a Batman schtick.

Game Review: Heroclix

Game Review: Heroclix

   Yesterday, I played my first game of Heroclix. I used the Marvel starter set. If you’ve played D&D or Warhammer, it’s pretty much that with superheroes/pop culture miniatures. The one gimmick is that each miniature has a dial that you click to indicate when they take damage. Now, I love the premise of the game. Superhero fights are always (usually) on my mind, like any kid who grew up with fighting games/comics. But, it’s not particularly accessible for me…that doesn’t keep me from playing, I just have a friend help me turn the dial.

    We played 2 games with this one 6-figure set. One 3-on-3 (Wolverine, Elektra, and Hobgoblin vs. Spiderman, Sabertooth, and Wasp.) and one 1-on-1 (Sabretooth vs. Wolverine.) Now, for those you who don’t play Warhammer or D&D, I’ll explain the game simply. Each figure has stats (Movement, Defense, Attack, Damage.) on it’s base.

You use these stats to play the game, along with dice, of course. For example, Wolverine in my starter set has  5 Movement 12 Defense and 1 Damage…but if you use his claws, his damage becomes 1d6. Anyway, all the figures have stats and powers like this. If you equal or surpass Wolverine’s Defense stat, you hit him, and deal the indicated damage on the figure’s base and click the dial. Neat stuff, but I never did click the dials. My buddy did.

    He also set up the map and placed object tokens on it. Light objects increase damage by 1, and heavy objects (Only portable by characters with super strength!) increase damage by 2. In our first official game, it was basically a race to pick up the objects. Whereas I thought any team with Wolverine could win…the teams with Wolverine lost both times!

 To be sure, once was due to bad strategy (I was fighting over a boulder with Spiderman and didn’t wanna spend all day playing catch with super strength.) And the second game, I won with Sabertooth because my buddy kept rolling badly! (It happens…but I got lucky.)

     It’s a great game! I can’t wait to start collecting other neat Heroclix figures. I’ve even seen Star Trek and Watchmen Heroclix as well as more specific ones and weird mods like Earthworm Jim Heroclix. Part of me wants to do Marvel vs. DC, but that’s a little cliché. Marvel vs. Street Fighter, that would be something! Or Marvel vs. Watchmen. In sum, it’s nice to have a neat hobby like this game.

    I hope I’ll learn how to click the dials soon. Another friend told me that sometimes they are hard to click, and each base can be different. So, perhaps I just don’t have the dexterity. Nonetheless, it is a game you play with a friend…so, in the event that I really can’t, I can either just have a friend do it, or make a mental note of the clicks in my head, possibly with a notepad. Practice makes perfect though. Just can’t wait to play again! 3/5 for fun, but there can be slight accessibility issues!
   
I like Heroclix because it’s a fun little strategy game to play with friends based on heroes! I would love to get more X-men, or a Professor X figure since he’s my favorite. I admit it’s not for everyone, but it’s still really cool! Though I do like the game so far without those pesky object tokens. Then, it just becomes a race to get them. It should be good physical therapy and great fun! Anyone know any cool sets with Oracle, Professor X, or other disabled heroes? Let me know!

                                             

Batman vs. Superman: How To Save The Movie

 Batman vs. Superman: How To Save The Movie

So, I just got back from a cabin in the woods with no internet, and I’m just now finding out that Ben Affleck is Zack Snyder’s Batman. Like a lot of people, I’m disappointed. Some people fear this will be as bad as Daredevil’s first Hollywood attempt, which Affleck starred in. Personally, I don’t really have high hopes for a Batman vs. Superman movie anyway. It just serves the purpose of showing once again that DC Comics is still embarrassed of Superman, who used to be their biggest hero. Now it looks like they’ll be beating him up in his own sequel.

    So, then they will try to make a Justice League movie. And that’s fine by me. It just seems like they’re rushing to catch up to The Avengers, and rushing leads to bad decisions. In the DC movie Universe so far, we’ve barely gotten to know Superman, and although his debut film was just okay, (Fans of this site remember my initial reactions.) it certainly wasn’t inspiring or heroic, but I don’t think that justifies beating him up so soon.

    The one to blame for that god-awful idea is Frank Miller, whose 80s plotline The Dark Knight Returns makes Superman a government stooge who overreaches his power and tries to arrest Batman. Fans of this site will also remember that I hate Frank Miller’s insistence on praising fascistic anti-heroes, using too much red, and droll noir narration. My point is Ben Affleck is not the worst to happen to this movie. It was messed up when it was announced.

      That said, I can think of two ways to save the movie. Either bring in a good villain or introduce secondary characters like Wonder Woman. In Greg Rucka’s graphic novel “Sacrifice“, it wasn’t Batman who stopped a rampaging Superman, but Wonder Woman. That would be a big surprise for the audience to see Batman defeated as well as provide a good entry point for a Justice League movie, with the big three finally together. It would also end this ridiculous Batman vs. Superman debate. Who would win? Throw a curveball: Go with Wonder Woman…and then do an “Infinite Crisis” storyline for a Justice League movie.

     Alternatively, I would introduce Barry Allen, AKA The Flash into the movie Universe. He has a real chance to be a guide throughout the movies’ universe, just as Iron Man was for The Avengers. They both have the same attitude, and both were geniuses who’s powers were gained by accident. Flash was struck by lightning, Iron Man was captured. The tragic aspect would make his character relatable, as would his mortality, just as it does for Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man, who can laugh off Nordic gods and supersoldiers because he’s one radical dude. That attitude would work with The Flash, and give audiences a comedic character to relate to, in what has so far been a dark and gritty universe. There is also one last option in my mind, to save this movie.

      Cast a good villain. The Dark Knight is mostly remembered for Heath Ledger’s Joker. In the 80s, before anyone knew that Michael Keaton was a viable Batman, Jack Nicholson was probably the main draw for that Batman movie. A good villain can make all the difference. I hear Bryan Cranston is maybe taking the role of Lex Luthor, but that sounds too good to be true. Especially fresh off his success with Breaking Bad, I suspect he won’t take a big risk by being in a Zack Snyder comic book movie. If it happens, I’ll be thrilled…he can play a good psycho. But, I don’t have high hopes from the guy who ruined Watchmen, consulted Frank Miller for a Superman story, and made Superman a bland angst summer movie. In my mind, a good Superman movie is something that reaches for the heavens and inspires heroism, as Richard Donner did.

     Lastly, I’ve been asked who my picks would’ve been for Batman and the villain, if not Ben Affleck and someone else. That’s easy: I’d do a live action Batman: The Animated Series. Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill are THE voices of Batman and Joker, and have done voice work for them as recently as Arkham City. Casting them would be a wonderful way to keep Batman and Joker familiar. The Arkham game series has proven  The Animated Series can work well with a dark atmosphere. I know Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill are both older (and busy!) but it would’ve gotten a better reaction than Ben Affleck, whose last superhero performance in public memory was the failed Daredevil.

   Well, it may be too early to judge, but those are my initial thoughts on Ben “Batman” Affleck and how to save a Batman vs. Superman movie! I’m no Hollywood executive, but those are the two courses that would best appeal to me. Whatever appeals to Hollywood, I have no idea, but they ruined Green Lantern and Daredevil, so let me say I don’t have that much confidence. However, I’ll be satisfied if at least one of my speculations entertains my audience!    

Spider-Man: Torment (2009)

Spider-Man: Torment (2009)

 “Come sit, my little one. Lull yourself into a false sense of security. Let your mind relax and your soul become vulnerable.”

- Calypso

   Spider-Man: Torment is a graphic novel collecting the 5 issues of the same name from 1992 (collected in 2009.) by Todd McFarlane. Calypso is controlling The Lizard with voodoo. Spider-Man hears the voodoo spell and it begins to affect his brain: (Read: DOOMDOOMDOOM.) He becomes lured to The Lizard, but not before the Lizard murders 4 people. For the luring spell to work, the sorceress adds a spider to her concoction and poisons him.

    In the fight that ensues, the sorceress makes Spider-Man believe he killed The Lizard by impaling it. He  wakes up and believes he sees Kraven The Hunter, who is supposed to be dead, so at this point the is losing his mind. This is a good psychological thriller of a graphic novel, a theme McFarlane does well. I feel as though I have a greater connection to Spider-Man because of this type of complexity. Also, Mary Jane is away dancing at a nightclub. She too. Worries that Spider-Man won’t come back.
   
   Spider-Man in this story has a triple threat. He’s got to save Dr. Connors AKA bring the humanity out in The Lizard, restore his grip on reality affected by the spell (DOOMDOOMDOOM.) and save himself. Eventually, through sheer force of will he is able to rescue himself from the burning building, and barely make it home in one piece, but the fate of The Lizard  seems uncertain. McFarlane does well illustrating how bloody and tattered the fight left Spider-Man…The Lizard finally swims up from deep below the sewers, with one word: DOOM.

   It’s Todd McFarlane, so obviously there’s a lot of dark spaces and blood. He shows you each panel almost bit by bit, so you don’t know what’s creeping around the corner. A recurring theme is “…RISE ABOVE IT!” which ends the intros to each of stories in the collection!

   This applies to location as well as psychology. While DOOM lurks below in the sewers, Spider-Man swings above him and confronts him finally in a warehouse. Also, he has to rise above the sorceress’s (Calypso’s) mental control, and physical pain through the poison. But, for a while it looks like he might not make it…(Spoilers, I guess?)

    Spider-Man: Torment is a neat graphic novel that actually starts off kind of funny (and what would Spider-Man be without jokes?) and then delves into mind control, murder, and anxiety. It has a pretty good story, despite working with second-tier villains. As usual per McFarlane, it’s very affecting both in art and psyche, but that’s what a good comic does: It stays with you.

      Lots of buildup, a useless Mary Jane subplot, and second-tier villains kind of make it hard to get through, but as I understand it, The Lizard wasn’t McFarlane’s first choice…the other villains all had other stories going at the time. This gets a 2-star rating from me. It’s really McFarlane’s art that draws me in.  

House of M (2005):

 “He... He only wanted you to be happy... Look what you've done to us, daddy.”

- Scarlet Witch to Magneto

I gotta say: I’m bored with DC Comics. It’s all about Batman vs., Superman right now, (Infinite Crisis, Batman vs. Superman movie, Injustice: Gods Among Us, Sacrifice, etc.) and they won’t even let Superman act like a hero. So, instead I’ve chosen to review a graphic novel that made me think: What would happen if Magneto suddenly got what he desired? This is the plot of House of M.

   The X-men decide they have to kill Scarlet Witch as she lost control of her powers and killed several Avengers, including her husband Vision. To stop the X-men/Avengers from killing her she uses her reality-altering powers (Amplified by a mind-controlled Professor X to create a world where her dad Magneto gets everything he ever wanted. Mutants rule the Earth, and the Avengers are outcasts. But, this is not without good effects too. Peter Parker and M.J. are happily married and successful; Uncle Ben is alive, The Avengers are alive, several of The X-Men become Magneto’s elite Red Guard. Captain America walks on the moon to broker a tentative peace between mutants and humans.

     But, beneath all that appears happy and successful and covered up by tabloids, Wolverine senses that the reality is false, because he’s had his mind wiped so many times before. He storms out on Mystique (who he’s married to.) and goes off to unite the other heroes, starting with Emma Frost, who also senses the reality is false and can convince others psychically.  Wolverine fights past the elite guards, which notably includes Rogue and Nightcrawler as part of the Red Guard.
 
    Eventually, Emma Frost (who’s happily married to Cyclops, and she lets him see reality.) runs into Layla Miller, a little girl who, unaffected by the reality-altering, still retains memories of the previous reality. Wolverine takes her to the Avengers’ hideout, where together they figure out this might have been Magneto’s work. See, the Avengers’ don’t have it so lucky. They are hunted by sentinels, like the X-men in the previous reality.

After that, Wolverine, Cyclops and Dr. Strange decide to crash a meeting of the world’s leaders, led by the House of M. Dr. Strange contacts Scarlet Witch, and of course, gets her to confess that she created this reality, and loses control. (With one special caveat I won’t reveal here!) But anyway, this comic just got me thinking in the midst of all this boring Batman vs. Superman stuff: How much good makes up for one evil? People were happy under mutant rule, but people were still oppressed. Is happiness really all that people seek, even under a dictatorship? What defines reality? This was some REAL philosophy to chew on rather than the old dichotomy between Justice and Revenge we see in DC Comics. It was refreshing: Of course, it all leads to a bigger plot which is a whole different beast (But, not Beast!) A vs. X! That’s how you do a vs. buildup!