My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006):

My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006):

“When a regular guy dumps a superhero for her neediness, she uses her powers to make his life a living hell.”

Everyone in this movie is crazy. Even the superhero. Matt Saunders works in a design firm, and has bad luck with the ladies. His pervert friend Vaughn says the answer is just a quick hookup. Unfortunately, the woman he hooks up with is a superhero. Things start hot and heavy, as Jenny Johnson (a.k.a. G-Girl, whose hero moniker is never explained. What's the G stand for? Great? Gamma? Genetically-enhanced?) is just looking for reprieve from her job. But then, she gets psychotically possessive.

G-Girl routinely controls who Matt can see and won't let him go to work, breaks his stuff during making out, and is paranoid to a fault. When Matt tries to break up, she breaks his apartment, ruins his meetings (by stripping him with super speed in public.) and throws his car into space. At one point, she even throws a shark into his apartment. That was funny, because it was so unexpected!

One day, after a date, Matt is kidnapped by the goons of G-Girl's archnemesis Professor Bedlam. He reveals that he and G-Girl used to be in love. (After Professor Bedlam hangs Matt from the Statue of Liberty.) But, after she gained her powers from a meteor, she ignored him. Luckily, he has a piece of the meteor that gives her her power. If she gets too close, it will de-power her. Matt, tried of having his life screwed up, agrees.

Meanwhile, back at Matt's office, a girl named Hannah is always getting Matt to ogle her. I told you everyone is crazy in this film. G-Girl has been jealous of her since the beginning, so when she shows up as he's luring G-Girl towards the meteor, a huge fight erupts. But then, Hannah is exposed to the meteor, and can suddenly give G-Girl a fair fight. Then, “Berry” Bedlam realizes he should've gone out with G-Girl, and Hannah and Matt take it steady afterward.

Honestly, everyone in this movie is just a huge relationship red flag. I thought it would end with G-Girl realizing she's a villain, but I guess since it's a comedy, it's all played for laughs. But, the only one who kind of made sense was Bedlam. He shouldn't want to de-power her, but it absolutely makes sense in this case. Overall, this is a movie best enjoyed with snacks, and a huge grain of salt! It's free on Hulu, anyway.

Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987):

Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987):

“The Man of Steel crusades for nuclear disarmament and meets Lex Luthor's latest creation, Nuclear Man.”

Look, you don't need me to tell you it's bad. There's giant plot holes, cheap sets, reused shots, and cartoony action scenes. And yet, in light of current tensions, I thought I'd still enjoy Superman throwing nukes into the sun. I was wrong. Very wrong. It's like they had one good idea...Superman throws nukes into the sun to try to achieve world peace. But, didn't think through the rest of it at all.

Lex Luthor busts out of prison and creates Nuclear Man from Superman's hair and the energy from the nukes thrown into space. Superman meanwhile, is trying to go on a double date as both Clark Kent and Superman. Nuclear Man crashes through buildings and says he'll “hurt people!” and “Destroy Superman!” He also talks like a caveman.

So, Superman does the logical thing, and fights Nuclear Man around the globe. In Italy, and China. He rebuilds the Great Wall with his eyes somehow, and stops a volcano by throwing a mountain into it (Why?), and freezing it with ice breath. Finally, he fights Nuclear Man on the moon, where Nuclear Man is shown to have less power, and still Superman gets pounded into the moon like a Looney Tunes character.

When the sun rises, Superman flies back and drops Nuclear Man into a nuclear containment facility after a short battle. He reasons that the sun must be the source of enemy's power. (Did he forget it's his too? Did he forget he has ice breath?) Meanwhile, in a goofy subplot, the Daily Planet almost turns into a tabloid that says Superman is dead. But, then is just bought by Perry White again, without Superman at all.

None of this makes sense. There are too many inconsistencies and plot holes. Superman is shown at one point to have radiation poisoning from Nuclear Man. That was kind of interesting. But, then how was he cured? I thought at least the fights might be cool, but instead it's Looney Tunes style bonks, and slap fights in space. I think the most Nuclear Man does is bonk Superman.

I like Christopher Reeve as Superman. He's a hopeful incarnation of the character I think we need back, in terms of style and body language. But, not like this. Not as a big goof flying around back and forth in re-used footage. I think they had one good idea. Superman trying to help the world. The rest is just idiotic. Do I need to say it? Skip this one.

WONDER WOMAN: BLOODLINES (2019):

WONDER WOMAN: BLOODLINES (2019):

“Wonder Woman tries to help a troubled young girl, Vanessa, who has fallen in with a deadly organization known as Villainy Inc. headed by Dr. Cyber.”

Well, another one where there's a ton going on! Steve Trevor arrives on Themyscira followed by parademons. Wonder Woman believes his arrival means that an attack is coming, so she leaves the island and comes to modern day Man's World to help. One of the things I like about this one is how Diana comports herself like an ancient Amazon.

For example, she apologizes to a woman for crooks “hampering” her day, and says to her host family's daughter Vanessa that her “sleeping chambers” were quite similar to hers, just with servants. Vanessa feels slowly neglected by Wonder Woman as her popularity grows; so, jealous of her, she joins Villainy Inc.!

The rest of the quest is to save Vanessa and stop more monsters and villains from attacking. Vanessa becomes Silver Swan with the help of Dr. Poison and Dr. Cyber. I'm impressed with this movie's villainess roster. Cheetah, Giganta, Dr. Poison, the Minotaur, and even Medusa all show up. Wonder Woman can punch through walls, and throw giant pillars, so the fight scenes are good...there's always the lasso, too!

After she defeats Silver Swan, they have to figure out how to get back to Themyscira. There they can use the aptly-named “purple healing ray” to cure her. But, everyone who leaves the island magically forgets where it is! They work out the location, but there is a major betrayal in the team. Overall, the film does a good job showing Wonder Woman's powers and code of honor. I liked it!

It's kind of like an extended Justice League episode. With more villainesses than probably in the average Wonder Woman movie! It kind of feels like they were riding high from 2017's Wonder Woman success, which is a good thing. I'm always up for more Greek myths and superheroes. I feel like animation can show things that just look ridiculous in movies, like invisible jets, no matter how good your CGI is.

I think this is worth watching, if only because it throws a lot at you. At times, it's not afraid to have fun, but you're never bored either way. It's a nice mix of action-comedy. If you wanna see Wonder Woman at full power, I'd recommend this movie. Give it a watch, if you can!

DEATHSTROKE: KNIGHTS AND DRAGONS: THE MOVIE (2020)

DEATHSTROKE: KNIGHTS AND DRAGONS (2020):

“Assassin Slade Wilson leads two lives: a relentless killer known as Deathstroke and a family man. Can he atone for the sins of the past-or will his family pay the ultimate price?”

This one is a doozy! It's an adult animation (read: cussing, partial nudity, and violence.) featuring Deathstroke from DC comics. The story is about him trying to protect his family from learning that he's a super-powered assassin. But, that goes out the window when he's attacked at home by the HIVE, a mercenary group.

They steal his kid, Joseph, and re-name him Jericho, subjecting him to the same military experiments as Deathstroke. It's said that while Deathstroke is a handgun, so to speak, Joseph is a nuclear weapon. He has psychic abilities on top of his fathers superpowers and healing factor. The HIVE plans to use him to plot terrorist attacks, and control world leaders.

Meanwhile, Deathstroke uncovers that the HIVE leader is someone from his past. Joseph even sides with them for a while, before uncovering his abuse. A motif that's repeated via a bedtime story is that Deathstroke sees himself as a knight, protecting his family against dragons. In the end, Joseph believes he's still the knight, and fights beside his father against, among others, Lady Shiva.

It's pretty good for an adult animation in 2020. I'm not spoiling too much if I say I'm dissatisfied with how they defeat Lady Shiva. Overall, they cram a lot into 89 minutes, but it's a good and bloody story. It's an origin story, a betrayal, and a future story all at once. Give it a watch if you don't mind the violence!

Harley Quinn and Batman (2017):

Harley Quinn and Batman (2017):

“Batman and Nightwing are forced to team with the Joker's sometimes-girlfriend Harley Quinn to stop a global threat brought about by Poison Ivy and Jason Woodrue, the Floronic Man.”

Harley Quinn and Batman team up to stop Poison Ivy. Batman's former sidekick Nightwing finds Harley working as a waitress in a cosplay-based restaurant, and figures she knows where Ivy is. Harley says she wants to just live a normal life. Eventually they tickle each other, and decide to work together.

Now, usually the DC movie universe doesn't like to make fun of itself. But, this is a Harley Quinn comedy. So, it's much more slapstick and fart jokes than the usual Batman fare. I kind of liked it. They have fun. They sing karaoke before they find out where Ivy is, thanks to a tip.

Turns out, Ivy is in Louisiana working with Floronic Man to turn all life into plants. Harley pleads with Ivy, and is able to convince her to stop. But, she can't stop Floronic Man. She tells Batman that if he's just made of plants, they should be able to just burn him. (In comically whispered dialogue.) Nightwing and Batman kiss her cheek, and that's all folks.

It's pretty good for a DC animated movie. Especially for a DC comedy. You definitely have to be in the mood for this one. I don't know. Watch it with some snacks. Be prepared for fart jokes. If you like Harley Quinn, and have a good sense of humor, you should enjoy.

Birds of Prey (2020) a.k.a. Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey:

Birds of Prey (2020) a.k.a. Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey:

“It's open season on Harley Quinn when her explosive breakup with the Joker puts a big fat target on her back.”

Right away, we're given a nice little animated sequence on who Harley is, and the breakup with Joker. So, she sets out to become her own self, burning down where she and Joker met, and going around looking to correct her grievances. But, that attracts the attention of other psychos (and the cops.) who want to take her down.

Eventually, she's captured by mafia boss Black Mask. If she can find him a diamond, she's free. Now, overall, this isn't a bad setup, and I cut this movie a lot of slack for being filmed during COVID-19. But, here's where things get messy. See, it's not just a Harley Quinn movie. They have to squeeze in the Birds of Prey.

Harley Quinn by herself is still cool to watch. What I didn't like was stopping the action in the middle to introduce another team member to the plot. It's not very cohesive, and the Birds of Prey don't really get together until the last 10 minutes. The final fight scene in the carnival, and the fight scene in the police station are the best parts.

The Suicide Squad (2021) is a better Harley Quinn team-up movie. Unlike this film, no one character felt wasted. Black Mask felt like just “Not-Joker” to me. Margot Robbie's good, as always. But, they should've taken more time to develop each unique character. You can skip this one unless you really like Harley Quinn.

The Shadow (1994):

The Shadow (1994):

"In 1930s New York City, The Shadow (Alec Baldwin) battles his nemesis, Shiwan Khan (John Lone), who is building an atomic bomb."

Pretty good superhero movie with Alec Baldwin playing The Shadow. Art deco style, visual effects, and Eastern mysticism/sci-fi make it strange in tone. Effects are cool, like The Shadow disappearing, the living knife, and some of the hypno/magic effects. I liked it!

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST (2014) Review:

                                

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST (2014) Review:

                                                              (Colossus vs. a sentinel!)                                                

(The sentinels!)

Future Professor X: “Just because someone stumbles and loses their path, doesn't mean they can't be saved.”  

   So, as a fan of Professor X, I have to talk about X-men: Days of Future Past. There are even two Professor Xs in this one. Specifically, I liked the dystopian Terminator feel, which loosely matched the dystopian Terminator feel of the comics. It was basically Terminator with the X-men in it, but I like both those things! Everyone uses their powers, so if that’s what you wanna see, you’re in luck. Wolverine really stabs people, guys!

In fact, one of the angles about superpowers that I liked about this movie was that even though there are two Prof Xs and one (The younger version.) walks, when he walks, he can’t use his telepathy. I thought that was cool. He needs his disability. Now, there’s a lot of people complaining that this time travel stuff and the time doubles erase the current continuity, blah blah blah…I don’t care. The wonderful thing about fiction is you can choose which parts happened. If you like the old trilogy, you can say it happened. Personally, I like this one!

This timeline starts in the 1960s and goes through the 1970s…but there are giant robots in it, and an assassination attempt on Bolivar Trask…the creator of them. Mystique is the would- be assassin. Also, I think Peter Dinkelage is a great Bolivar Trask. He’s not pure evil. He thinks he’s protecting humanity from the mutants. His fault is he doesn’t see them as humans, which they are. And there’s a nice little lesson in there about not judging people based on fear. Future Professor X is a lot more optimistic than the past one!

But, Future Professor X needs to contact past Professor X to move forward, with the help of Magneto. Personally, I think all he’d have to say is “Don’t worry! You get my sweet hover chair in the future!” But, it takes a lot longer than that and they have a big showdown with giant robots, and Wolverine and Professor X have to stop him. Good stuff!

Overall, a good action movie that establishes a neat new continuity. I’d give it 4/5 stars. It’s a little weird to cover the sentinels in just one movie, as in the 90s cartoon and comics they lasted many years. They definitely upped the action. And I like how every movie covers a different era. I predict next will be the 80s. It keeps getting bigger and better. Mutant battles, robots, and good disability messages. What’s not to love? Go see it.  

                                               (Mutants face extinction in an apocalyptic future.)

(Beast, Wolverine, Prof X: 1970s.)

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (2014) REVIEW:

           

“Trust is what makes an army work. Not a bunch of guys running around shooting guns.”

- Captain America

Oh, that Captain America! So honorable. So gee-golly good! So trusting! 70 years frozen in an ice cube and does it even phase him? Nope. Just takes getting used to, he says. I mean, sure he’s got a long list of music and movies to watch, but that’s what the internet is a for. (Right?) And for buddies, he’s got his own little army in The Avengers! Ol’ Cap just never stopped fighting the Good Fight.

But, now his faith in The Good Fight is a little shaken up after he finds out his buddy Nick Fury’s been keeping secrets from him. What’s a supersoldier to do?  Why, keep fighting The Good Fight of course, and find out the truth behind SHIELD‘s secrets, even while being framed for them! There’s a lot more action in this one, and a lot more hitting people with shields. Especially because he’s hunted by The Winter Soldier!

I loved this movie even though a few things were changed from the comic book version, of The Winter Soldier. Namely, Bucky isn’t picked up by the Russians. Rather, he’s a HYDRA (read: super Nazi.) agent, and being a Russian assassin is sort of his cover story. He’s made to look Russian, given Soviet arms, (and an arm…) and brainwashed.  Although, it’s really HYDRA in control.

Yet, every time Cap and Black Widow get closer to the conspiracy, Winter Soldier appears to stop them. Physically, (and with that cyborg arm!) he’s a match for Cap, but not mentally, since he’s being Hawkeyed (a.k.a. mind-controlled.) It’s Cap’s good morals that win the day, even as helicarriers explode around him. Of course, if you’ve read the comics, you know where the Winter Soldier will end up, and why it was necessary that he be the titular villain in this arc.

Speaking of storylines, I guess I’m one of those rare beasts who absolutely loved Captain America: The First Avenger. This may be either because I liked the moral, or because I spent too much time studying WWII and the German language…or all of that! Nonetheless, I was pleased to see connections from the earlier film play into the HYDRA conspiracy. The arrival of Dr. Zola details HYDRA’s Cold War work…which is based in fact. The superpowers did scramble to pick up German scientists in the post-war period. In effect, Cap is still fighting the same war: Freedom vs. fear. Wowzers! Historical fiction! What will Marvel 2.0 think of next?

Speaking thematically, this is where I think Marvel upped the ante for the movies. Behind Cap’s loyalty and trust are (I think.) a tacit rejection of Batman’s use of fear as a weapon, which places Marvel vs. DC effectively in two camps philosophically. Compare Cap’s objections to SHIELD’s operations with Batman hacking every cell phone in Gotham. “This isn’t freedom, this is fear!” Cap might well say. But, philosophy aside, I simply loved everyone in the movie. I really think Marvel just created a great new world by destroying its old one.

Of course, Cap has still got it in either world. He can  still kick butt! And so can his new friends Falcon (I was worried Falcon might be a cheesy sidekick, but he works his way in to be necessary to the plot, and a good pal to Cap!) and Black Widow!  For me, this Marvel 2.0’s best film to date. It has a clear vision, good action, and sets up fascinating story arcs, if I know where this is going. Frankly, I can’t wait to see where they’ll go next! Freedom prevails! 5/5 stars from me!

(Did I mention I think I see where they're going?)

Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher (2014):

Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher (2014):

Black Widow: Don’t kill them, Frank!

Punisher: I have no choice!

    This movie could’ve been so cool, if it were an actual Punisher anime! Instead, it’s an excuse for Black Widow to have a romantic fling with the villain. It starts off kind of cool, where Punisher shoots up a whole room of weapons dealers. But, then, he’s reduced to a tagalong. I’m not kidding. That’s what Nick Fury basically says. You see, because the villain has mind control powers, he needed to have two agents around. And who ends up mind-controlled? Yeah…Punisher.

    To the film’s credit, it does show that Black Widow can go toe-to-toe with Punisher. (Frank Castle). Their fights last about a minute each time…the second time he’s mind-controlled. You see, Punisher is on the heels of a weapons dealer named Kane. Who turns out to be the pawn of a lovesick SHIELD (Elias) Agent who steals SHIELD supersoldier tech to impress Black Widow. He is also the pawn of a Russian terrorist organization. Because that would impress her….invade New York.

     Eventually, the Russians use Elias’s mind control to invade New York with supersoldiers. Much of the movie consists of Black Widow being lovesick with Elias. She can take down Punisher, yes, but is apparently weak in the knees over a random SHIELD scientist who she should’ve just taken down. At least Amadeus Cho is there, a child genius SHIELD Agent who creates a mind shield after Black Widow promises to kiss him. She’s  Punisher with flirting abilities. Win-win!

   And now that Russian supersoldiers are invading New York while Black Widow is being romantic and angsty, The Avengers show up to defend the city! This is one instance in the movie where I did like it better than the movies. Because it’s animation, they have the budget to have all the Avengers show up and do their jobs. Hulk, Iron Man, even Captain Marvel. After all, it is Avengers: Confidential. Gotta have Avengers show up.
   
   In sum, I liked the movie. I liked that they were able to show that Black Widow can kick butt after she was kinda sidelined in The Avengers movie. Unfortunately, this leaves very little time to build up Punisher’s kick butt credibility. I mean, normally he has weapons that fire nukes! But, here he’s regulated to a Hawkeye-type role (I‘m calling it being “Hawkeyed”, from now on!) providing connections to the Russian terrorists, and then being mind controlled. It’s always mind control.

    Mind control aside, I do think It’s a good action film, and they build up Punisher nicely in the beginning. I just wish more superhero movies actually used all their superheroes. Punisher really could’ve been anyone. Anyway, nice to see all The Avengers together in anime form. But, who the heck is Elias? Oh, well. At least Punisher gets some revenge in the end! Go see it! 3/5 stars from me! Worth a watch.

Avengers vs. Justice League: War

Avengers vs. Justice League: War

Captain America: “We need a plan of attack!”

Iron Man: “I have a plan. Attack!”

So, in my last post, I made the claim that there are aesthetic differences in the movie Justice League: War to make it different from Avengers, but that it was basically the same plot. The main aesthetic difference I argued, was fear as a motivator. From the beginning, it is established that Batman is a fugitive, hunted by Green Lantern.

    The heroes in Avengers, however, start out as heroes, and active members of their respective communities from SHIELD to India, for The Hulk. In Justice League: War, The impetus for banding together was only the invasion; but they didn’t have 3 hours to jibe and develop relationships between the characters. Iron Man/Hulk do a good job joking and teaming up to work on the alien object, even though Cap chastises them for being unfocused.

   So, from the start the heroes are paired together, and play off of each other. I often say of the Avengers movie that it is a good example of a viable theory of group communication called “Forming, storming, and norming.” It is of course, arguable that Hawkeye needed a little more exposure, but as the only one in this group who hadn’t had a movie yet, he couldn’t be in the first two stages. Justice League: War has little time to develop and thus normalize the heroes roles: essentially we have “forming, storming, Batman!” But, what is forming, storming, and norming?

    Forming is when the group forms. Black Widow serves this purpose, as well as SHIELD, as well as pairing off the heroes to form relationships…as when Cap breaks up a fight with Tony Stark. Superman also fought with Batman like this. But, then, Batman has to rescue Batman. Also, it’s telling that Wonder Woman avoids meeting the President. I know that’s comic relief, but she acts as a fugitive as well. Whereas Cap keeps the group focused by remaining in his past role: The soldier.

  In this respect, each Avenger contains something that connects him to the mission….and that they’re opposed to. Storming is when they question the mission. Even Tony Stark’s suspicion of SHIELD plays on Cap’s trust in SHIELD. Hulk’s rampage and defeat by Thor connects him to Thor. So, he ends up paired with him. Justice League: War has a storming stage, but it is short, since the heroes never meet until the invasion, and Batman rescues Superman. Abducting Superman for conflict reasons, I feel is an odd choice, but it served to show Batman as a leader, and he takes charge, but the end result is the group never feels solidified…it’s Batman’s show…but that’s okay! They have forming, storming, Batman.

   In sum,  Avengers had more time to dealt with forming, storming, and norming. The norming is solidified by the teams mutual avenging of the death of Coulson. It feels less dark because there is more humor (Iron Man’s a jerk, sometimes, but he enjoys himself!) and has more time for the group’s conflicts to resolve. But, in Justice League: War, DC wants the tension to be there, to use a phrase, because he’s Batman.

  Batman thrives off of being a fugitive, and why not? Batman is popular, and this gets the team together quicker…at the cost of character development. In a sense, DC must go with the Batman feel at this point, because the audience already knows him. In a similar vein (Although you have to credit the writers!) Marvel’s Avengers follows the aesthetic of it’s most bankable character for much the same reason. And they are both billionaires…ironic since they are the most bankable.

Ultimately, the cultural aesthetic comes down to who was leading the group. Cap leads the Avengers, kicking into full army mode and formulating his plan of attack! Batman serves as a leader, but only after Superman is underplayed. But, the circumstances called for him to step in…Because he’s Batman! And it would save them making more movies.

Even though Justice League: War is a good preview of what a Justice League movie might look like, to me, it’s clearly following an Avengers formula…but that’s okay! It’s a good decision. That just means they’ll have to go with more familiar characters, and resolve less interpersonal conflict. But, Batman thrives on conflict, and just happens to be the most recognizable character in that universe. Yes, the Avengers all had movies, but DC is playing catch-up, and doesn’t have time to build up there characters. So, Batman may be the hero the DC movies deserve…but not the one they need! Only time will tell!

Bonus Question: Who do you think would win? Avengers or Justice League?

All Superheroes Must Die (2013) Review:

All Superheroes Must Die (2013) (Originally Titled “Vs.”) (2011) 

Shadow: “You're not the only one who gets to save people around here…”

Saw meets X-men! This movie is an independent film, and superhero thriller. That being said, it’s obviously low-budget, but does manage to make some good X-men-like characters: The leader is Charge, who has gains power as he gains momentum, or so it seems. He only ever uses this ability once or twice, I think. But because of an injection they all received at the start of the movie, their powers are gone/weakened. It’s a classic villain set-up.

    The nameless superheroes led by Charge (Cutthroat, some sort of antihero ninja; The Wall;  and Shadow; reminiscent to me of  Shadowcat…) are robbed of their powers and made to fight for their nemesis’s amusement. As leverage, he has hostages around the entire city, and he can kill them or blow the place up. The villain is Rickshaw, and he is rather good at outsmarting the captive heroes in a game they can’t win…and he loves it. He reminds me of Joker….or maybe moreso Arcade. Are we meant to think of Jigsaw from Saw?

    I digress…so, he instructs the heroes to pick their weapons and go to the first round. They fight two villains. A big shirtless guy with a Russian accent named Sledgeshaw, and a cannibalistic Uncle Sam caricature named Manpower. This is the only scene that feels particularly comic bookish. I liked it. But, maybe owing to the fact that it had heroes and villains more or less in costume, and Charge actually uses his ability, without giving away too much. Inexplicably, he still has his power...or some power from what I saw.
 
   The rest of the movie is just Saw with Superheroes, with Rickshaw plotting games and trying to get the heroes to kill each other with tools he’s provided and using hostages as leverage. In one scene, Charge realizes it doesn’t matter…Rickshaw will kill the innocents whether they fight or not, so he decides to use a gun (with three bullets, one for each hero.) to kill three innocents and save themselves.

      Well, the Wolverine-like Cutthroat protests. In another game, one of the hostages is revealed to be Cutthroat’s sister. Now, I know this is supposed to be an edgy thriller, but it does seem like Charge could’ve thought his way out of that one. Why not shoot non-lethally? I only say that because later this is exactly what he does to himself instead of shooting Shadow…kind of him to think of that then!

     Anyway, for all it’s edginess, you do get a good sense of the relationships between the heroes. Hence my X-men analogy. The Wall would be like Colossus. Charge is like Cyclops personality-wise, but with the powers of Juggernaut. He takes charge. Both The Wall and Charge love Shadow…she’s the sensitive one who calls everyone by their first name, and acts like a damsel in distress. (So, Charge is Jon; Cutthroat is Ben; and The Wall is Charlie.) Stereotypical, but it moves the plot along quickly.

The last half of the movie as the heroes begin to kill off each other is rife with melodrama and romance as they avoid killing Shadow. Flashbacks are shown that supposedly heighten the relationships but they boil down to…two guys love Shadow, and Cutthroat hates Charge…hence my Wolverine analogy. (Fact: Lucas Till, who plays Cutthroat went on to play Havoc in X-men: First Class. (2011) Overall, my main problem with this movie is Charge…if he went through all that trouble to (slight spoiler!) spare Shadow…I dunno…why not make more of an effort to save innocents? He didn’t seem to care that it is was just part of Rickshaw’s scheme when it came to Shadow.

That and the melodrama…you really get a sense for the relationships, but it is two-dimensional. X-men is kinda like that, too…but they at least have more villains and thus more stories to go through…and fight for their rights. I suppose I should go easy on the movie. It is, after all, an independent film.

    In conclusion, All Superheroes Must Die is both the title and the moral of the story...though I felt the moral was contrived: All superheroes must eventually compromise their moral characters…or make difficult moral decisions. Especially when there are budget limits! Heh heh! Given it’s small scale though, I think it did a good job… The movie had a good scenery-chewing villain, and built off of immediately identifiable superhero dynamics.

 After first round though, when Charge discovers Rickshaw will kill innocents anyway, it loses steam… much like Charge does. I dunno, maybe some people like to see heroes lose. Still, I’ll give a nice 2.5/5 stars for this underappreciated superhero film. Not my kind of superhero movie, but it has it’s moments…and most of them involve Rickshaw, since he's so happy to be winning!      

Batman vs. Superman: How To Save The Movie

 Batman vs. Superman: How To Save The Movie

So, I just got back from a cabin in the woods with no internet, and I’m just now finding out that Ben Affleck is Zack Snyder’s Batman. Like a lot of people, I’m disappointed. Some people fear this will be as bad as Daredevil’s first Hollywood attempt, which Affleck starred in. Personally, I don’t really have high hopes for a Batman vs. Superman movie anyway. It just serves the purpose of showing once again that DC Comics is still embarrassed of Superman, who used to be their biggest hero. Now it looks like they’ll be beating him up in his own sequel.

    So, then they will try to make a Justice League movie. And that’s fine by me. It just seems like they’re rushing to catch up to The Avengers, and rushing leads to bad decisions. In the DC movie Universe so far, we’ve barely gotten to know Superman, and although his debut film was just okay, (Fans of this site remember my initial reactions.) it certainly wasn’t inspiring or heroic, but I don’t think that justifies beating him up so soon.

    The one to blame for that god-awful idea is Frank Miller, whose 80s plotline The Dark Knight Returns makes Superman a government stooge who overreaches his power and tries to arrest Batman. Fans of this site will also remember that I hate Frank Miller’s insistence on praising fascistic anti-heroes, using too much red, and droll noir narration. My point is Ben Affleck is not the worst to happen to this movie. It was messed up when it was announced.

      That said, I can think of two ways to save the movie. Either bring in a good villain or introduce secondary characters like Wonder Woman. In Greg Rucka’s graphic novel “Sacrifice“, it wasn’t Batman who stopped a rampaging Superman, but Wonder Woman. That would be a big surprise for the audience to see Batman defeated as well as provide a good entry point for a Justice League movie, with the big three finally together. It would also end this ridiculous Batman vs. Superman debate. Who would win? Throw a curveball: Go with Wonder Woman…and then do an “Infinite Crisis” storyline for a Justice League movie.

     Alternatively, I would introduce Barry Allen, AKA The Flash into the movie Universe. He has a real chance to be a guide throughout the movies’ universe, just as Iron Man was for The Avengers. They both have the same attitude, and both were geniuses who’s powers were gained by accident. Flash was struck by lightning, Iron Man was captured. The tragic aspect would make his character relatable, as would his mortality, just as it does for Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man, who can laugh off Nordic gods and supersoldiers because he’s one radical dude. That attitude would work with The Flash, and give audiences a comedic character to relate to, in what has so far been a dark and gritty universe. There is also one last option in my mind, to save this movie.

      Cast a good villain. The Dark Knight is mostly remembered for Heath Ledger’s Joker. In the 80s, before anyone knew that Michael Keaton was a viable Batman, Jack Nicholson was probably the main draw for that Batman movie. A good villain can make all the difference. I hear Bryan Cranston is maybe taking the role of Lex Luthor, but that sounds too good to be true. Especially fresh off his success with Breaking Bad, I suspect he won’t take a big risk by being in a Zack Snyder comic book movie. If it happens, I’ll be thrilled…he can play a good psycho. But, I don’t have high hopes from the guy who ruined Watchmen, consulted Frank Miller for a Superman story, and made Superman a bland angst summer movie. In my mind, a good Superman movie is something that reaches for the heavens and inspires heroism, as Richard Donner did.

     Lastly, I’ve been asked who my picks would’ve been for Batman and the villain, if not Ben Affleck and someone else. That’s easy: I’d do a live action Batman: The Animated Series. Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill are THE voices of Batman and Joker, and have done voice work for them as recently as Arkham City. Casting them would be a wonderful way to keep Batman and Joker familiar. The Arkham game series has proven  The Animated Series can work well with a dark atmosphere. I know Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill are both older (and busy!) but it would’ve gotten a better reaction than Ben Affleck, whose last superhero performance in public memory was the failed Daredevil.

   Well, it may be too early to judge, but those are my initial thoughts on Ben “Batman” Affleck and how to save a Batman vs. Superman movie! I’m no Hollywood executive, but those are the two courses that would best appeal to me. Whatever appeals to Hollywood, I have no idea, but they ruined Green Lantern and Daredevil, so let me say I don’t have that much confidence. However, I’ll be satisfied if at least one of my speculations entertains my audience!    

Special (2006)

Special (2006):

Les: “I’m important and I keep this city running.”

Boss: “Good. Now, repeat.”

Les: “I’m important. I’m important. I’m important…”

Don’t we all wish we could be a superhero? A bored meter maid named Les wants to be able to make a difference in people’s lives. He’s tired of reciting his boss’s mantra “I’m important and I keep  this city running.” without really believing in it. So, he takes an experimental pill called “Special”, and now finds that he can walk through walls, fly, and is telepathic.

    But, his friends all think he’s crazy. And that’s because he is. See, the drug only reduced his capacity for self-doubt. Thus, critical thinking as well. In reality, he’s just running into walls, but he thinks he’s going through them. One time, he stops a robbery at a convience store, and his behavior starts to get more bizarre, and psychotic.
 
 When he reveals his powers to his friends (who own a comic book store.) they both laugh and play along, so he thinks they witnessed his powers, too. Soon, he jumps off a gas station rooftop and saves a lady’s purse from getting snatched; the friends start to realize that Les is psychotic.

     Meanwhile, Les’s delusions of grandeur only become bigger. He is confronted by men led by “Jonas Exiler” in suits who want to hunt him and use his DNA to clone an army of super soldiers. He successfully battles them off, and rushes to his friends to tell them they are in danger. But, as his friends become more disturbed by Les’s mania, they try to tell him it’s not real. He pulls a gun on them and accuses them of being brainwashed by “The Suits”. And what started out as a very comedic underdog tale becomes insanely darker as Les’s is tortured by his delusions and continues to lash out at the real world. He holds up his doctor at gunpoint, and in another scene is beaten by his delusions with a 2x4 though it’s apparent Les is only beating himself up.

    Having seen elements of psychosis before in others, I’m not entirely sure how accurate the film is, but it seemed to me to be that way. The delusion starts off as innocent, almost like a game (maybe I AM a superhero.) and then before you know it, he’s dressing in costume and beating up “Suits”. The recent influx of superhero movies kind of made me believe it’s a superhero story; so it makes you suspend disbelief for a minute. But, it’s not. It’s a “disability movie” about the nature of schizophrenia.

 I never once thought Les was a bad guy. On the contrary, his delusions reveal him to be a man of a sweet and good nature who only wants to make the world a better place. Before he’s beaten (first) by the Suits, he yells at Jonas Exiler “Who do you think would care if you disappeared, huh? You think you’re so much better than everyone else! Well, you’re not!” (I wonder if he was merely talking to his self-doubt. He wants to doubt himself again, almost.)

I have probably given away too much already, but this is a deeply touching character study about a man tortured both by his everyday life, and then his escape of it. It’s an emotional roller coaster that will keep you rooting for Les all the way through, even in his more psychotic moments, which reveal themselves to be manifestations of his humane motives. But, people don’t have superpowers. To believe otherwise is crazy, right?  

MAN OF STEEL MOVIE REVIEW:

                                                 MAN OF STEEL REVIEW:                        

Jor-El: “What if a child dreamed of becoming something other than what society had intended? What if a child aspired to something greater?”

How do you update a patriotic-bantering Superman from the 80s? (Let’s face it: I’m a 90s kid, but Superman’s been trying to escape the Reeve image for a while!) You completely underplay it!  Instead of making the Good Guy the Boy Scout…make his enemies irrevocably evil. That seemed to be the formula for Man of Steel, and I think it’s one that works well. Zod is a dictator bent on exterminating inferior beings such as Earthlings, which recalls America’s villain when Superman was first made: Hitler. But, the scenes were all as much a product of their time and place as Superman is here. Krypton looks like Starcraft brought to life. The source comics are well-followed to a point, without me revealing spoilers.
 
Yes, Superman is conflicted, but he’s the kind of good guy that’s understated, as I said. Maybe that was a little cheap narrative out, but I liked it. Suffice it to say, the action destroys entire city blocks, but is a bit fast-paced to keep up with, much in the style of The Dark Knight times 10 with flying through buildings and shooting heat rays. I found a little bit of the commercialism hokey, but those are modern movies. I secretly hoped the Sears they kept having me look at would be destroyed.

    I especially liked the snippets of Clark’s childhood, which were taken seemingly from 2010’s Secret Origins graphic novel. Which makes sense, since David S. Goyer wrote it. In some ways, having Superman talk less, meant that when he spoke, it meant something. And I was really impressed with Superman’s ethics. Contrary to what some critics say, I never felt that he was responsible for all of the destruction Zod caused. Rather, Zod doesn’t think the humans and Kryptonians can live together, and so Superman is the only one who can stop him. I think throughout the film he saves as many lives as he can; in fantastic ways!

     I was a little bothered by the comment by a villainess that Zod was acting on behalf of evolution, and by Martha Kent’s comments about Clark’s Earth father in the end. It could be insinuated that Superman isn’t a man of science, when in fact he is a super genius. But, the movie seems to take “less is more” to a new level in terms of Superman’s dialogue. As I said though I was impressed with the fights and his ethics. His first fighting words to Zod are: “Stay away from my mother!” When the chips are down, he defends himself, which is all we really need from a Good Guy like Superman.

   People throughout the film are always trying to get him to choose between Earth ways and Krypton. So, I didn’t think that the “angst” was all that misplaced. It was a symptom  of a bicultural background and his body adapting to an alien planet. Remembering what that shaman said to me about being from another planet, I couldn’t help but think, “That son of a gun made me Superman!” the adaptation was well-depicted. As I said, the “angst” is there, but it doesn’t overshadow his heroism in the alien invasion…and I got the sense that he tried to save lives. Rather than speaking about what both parents taught him, he acts on the idea that he can represent the best of both worlds.

     The action is super. Zod is a perfect counterpart to Superman…even though its decidedly a different one from the 80s. He will never stop to protect Krypton, so he must kill Earth. He is what new Khan should have been. BUT, on the same side, he never stops talking either, which makes it so that Superman is his PERFECT opposite…but gets a little tiresome. Superman is purely good because Zod is purely evil gets repeated in some way over and over!

 My favorite part was when Superman first tackles Zod and it turns into a big fight, with clear good and evil sides. I was admittedly a little disappointed that they kept pressing the hope message (on the Superman symbol; hope in a movie is just fine.) but I can accept that this is a new interpretation. I was a little disappointed in the new Superman theme, which seemed to contain nothing but a sleepily rising trumpet sound. I kept waiting for the theme to rise with the signature three notes, but it does so very flatly. It leaps, but doesn’t fly.

    All in all, the film has a solid sci-fi background, plenty of good action, and a fair story if a bit nebulous at times due to Superman’s sparse dialogue. It seems the filmmakers wanted us to see all the Good things in him by comparing him to pure evil. Which to be fair, has worked before. I just didn’t get the sense that Superman was proactively good. His ethics are a superbly demonstrated ying-yang. Less is more again!

    I’d definitely recommend this movie to everyone. It’s not perfect, but it’s a new interpretation. Scenes and dialogue (including some Grant Morrison-inspired lines!) are readily visible! This is a good Superman for a new era! Action-packed and sci-fi heavy. I loved the action! But, was I inspired? Well…I was inspired…in leaps, not bounds! A good re-boot, but I could’ve used a little more heroic banter; I’m just more Marvel that way!

                                                                   

                               

                         

Iron Man 3 Review

   Iron Man 3 Review:

     

   

Iron Man 3 is like combining Die Hard 1, T2: Judgment Day, and Iron Man! I was right that Extremis would be involved, but I’m not giving spoilers. There’s some good action and nice character development (Everyone knows its after the events in Avengers.) We learn a lot about how Tony Stark regains his faith in others, how he relates to his suits, and how he deals with threats around him. The threat this time is threefold.  No spoilers, but lets just say it’s the three big ones: Mandarin, a rival industrialist, and a former associate.

   The biggest obstacle though is Tony Stark himself, a little stressed (Shall we say…) from the events in Avengers. He comes to the realization early on that he can’t deal with every threat, and theUS government doesn’t think he can either.  So, not only is everything he loves at stake, but also his confidence. Major themes here include trust, man vs. machine, man vs. self, and of course…in plenty of explosions and fights, man vs. man. There’s plenty of that Tony Stark humor too, that makes me proud to identify (probably most.) with Iron Man aside from his dependence on technology.

    Oh! And I was right about another thing! There’s betrayal…but it wasn’t who I expected the movie to pick. People who have read Extremis should see it right away. That’s the only hint I’m giving! Needless to say though, Iron Man…well, Iron Man is Iron Man! His machines are part of who he is, which also play a role in how he sees himself, grows, and deals with terrorists/bad guys. If you take it all away, he’s still Iron Man. He can’t be everywhere physically at once, or deal with every threat at once, but he has connections anyway! Some really good comments on the nature of terrorism and its inherent relationship to the media. It essentially does what Die Hard 4 failed to do which is: make a good action movie about modern threats to society/digital crime/terrorism, and do it with style. With Tony Stark! Move over John McClane!

    But, at its core for me was the theme of man vs. machine. Will machines exist to serve us, or take away our humanity in the interests of particularly “modern evil”? (Terrorism, media, corporate greed etc…) I don’t know…I think as a disabled man, I pick up fairly easy on the man/machine symbiosis! Sounds heavy but, the movie put it all on the line and eventually Stark himself reveals the answer! A fun movie that definitely raises the stakes. In my view, it might even influence modern action movies outside of the superhero/sci-fi genre. It really plays with the psyche of the character and in the end we come full circle. No doubt he’ll be ready for Avengers 2 as cocky and high-tech as ever! Highly recommended and fun!  

TRAILERS AND SPECULATIONS: THE WOLVERINE AND IRON MAN 3:

TRAILERS AND SPECULATIONS: THE WOLVERINE AND IRON MAN 3:

Listen, I’m a Marvel guy. And because all of the DC posts I’ve been doing lately, I feel I need to regain my Marvel cred. So, I’m just gonna do some posts about some Marvel movie trailers. Wolverine and Iron Man. First off, in the Iron Man trailer we see Iron Man on the ground after an explosion. The Mandarin swears to hurt those closest to him. Iron Man swears revenge, and then finally Pepper Pots shows up in an Iron Suit to rescue Iron Man. So…off-handedly, what does this tell me about the movie?
 
First, it tells me that the Mandarin is not the main villain. That’s misdirection. I have a shocking theory. This trailer is eerily similar to the Iron Man 1 trailers where he gets injured in Afghanistan and builds the suit. Only this time the suit can’t save him. Who advised him to make a profit from the suits? Obadiah  Stone, who went behind Tony’s back to sell his tech to the very terrorists who captured him. Who did Tony leave as CEO in Iron Man 2? Pepper Pots. You think she’s just gonna give it up that easy? How will she make a profit, with access to Tony’s suits? So…wait for it! Pepper Pots sells Stark technology to a foreign enemy, against the U.S.; the Mandarin. That’s why Tony has to challenge Mandarin 1-on-1; so there’s no nuclear warfare.
 
But Pepper Pots: Think about it. She’s the ex-CEO, at least. She’s thinking about how to profit. That’s why Tony’s friends (and Stone was his friend!) keep betraying him. He can’t make a profit if he keeps the suit a secret. Also…should I say spoilers? They can repeat the betrayal plot because we’ve all but forgotten about Obadiah. Pepper gets a pass because she’s pretty, and the two were formerly romantically involved, which will make her betrayal sting more. In any case, Tony will have to confront her, unless he wants his tech constantly falling into the hands of foreign terrorists.

I have no clue if Tony will forgive and forget or throw Pepper out a window. But, after selling his suits behind his back “she gonna have some serious ‘splainin’” to do. Also, I think this movie might be based on Warren Ellis’s 2007 Extremis storyline, in which (spoilers?) some female scientist sells Stark tech to a white supremacist. Poor Tony. He just can’t keep friends! And of course, you could go the easy route and say that it’s Mr. Hammer who tried to sell Stark technology to Whiplash, a Russian terrorist, in Iron Man 2! No! If you’re gonna up the stakes, you can’t repeat the same plot! I know there’s betrayal in the works. If they really upped the ante, it just might be Pepper Pots. Maybe not. But, betrayal is in the works!

 Now, The Wolverine trailers don’t give me much to work with. I know he goes to Japan and loses his powers. But, I think at this point we all know it’s some variant of the Japan storyline. Early trailers (6 secs.) show Logan on a pagoda rooftop with a katana. Could this be where he fights Silver Samurai? Either way, the other trailer I saw is an ADHD mess of Wolverine growling and mowing down ninjas like it’s Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon! Was I excited? Yes! After the disappointment of X-men Origins: Wolverine, I think Wolverine deserves a few canonically accurate action scenes.

  Plus, the 3D shows him busting out his claws while surrounded by ninjas! I think there’ll be a lot of good action here. Ninjas aren’t none to fight alone. They’ll have buddies for Wolverine to mow down with his claws. And, IF Silver Samurai is involved, there’s going to be some fast-paced sword fights! In sum, I don’t expect Wolverine to be a pacifist in this one. There will be blood. And Hugh Jackman has even dropped hints that someone uncovers how to hurt Wolverine! (In some unspecified weakness! No powers?)
 
 In conclusion, I think these movies will raise the stakes for both heroes. Tony will be betrayed again. Logan will be injured somehow, possibly to where he has to use a sword. (Wouldn’t that be cool? Ok, no, but for a while; yes!) After the Avengers, Marvel’s Phase 2 should be all about setting the bar higher. And I…really hope they have!