Astro Boy (2009):

Astro Boy (2009):

I finally got around to watching Astro Boy (2009), and you know what? I liked it. Not loved it. Not “This redefined Astro Boy”- kind of liked. But, liked it.

Let’s just get this out of the way. Yeah, the visuals are kind of dated. It’s very 2009 CGI. Shiny metal, slightly rubbery faces, and that weird in-between era where animation hadn’t quite figured out how to stylize humans yet It’s fine. It works. It feels like a Saturday afternoon kids’ movie.

One of my biggest mixed feelings is how they re-imagined the world. In the original anime created by Osamu Tezuka, Astro’s adventures spanned the cosmos. There were robot wars on the Moon. Moral dilemmas across continents. Wild sci-fi ideas that felt boundless.

Here, Metro City is basically a floating city-state, hovering above a trashed Earth. It’s very “Metropolis-lite.” It grounds the story, which makes sense for an American family film, but it also shrinks the scope dramatically. The universe feels smaller. Safer. Contained.

They do sprinkle in nods to older characters and lore, which longtime fans will recognize. But the characterizations? Totally different. And that’s fine. I get that they were probably setting up a new franchise direction. It’s just… this version of Astro Boy, aside from the name and powers, feels barely recognizable.

One thing I genuinely enjoyed was the humor.

Yes, including the now-infamous:

“I have machine guns in… my butt???”

It’s dumb. It’s juvenile. It absolutely got a laugh out of me.

There are also some sweet friendship beats, especially once Astro lands on the surface and ends up with the junkyard kids. It leans heavily into the American “ragtag group of misfits who come together” formula. Predictable? Sure. But it’s warm.

One thing that really stood out to me is how simplified the themes are. Classic Astro Boy wrestles with identity. What does it mean to be human? Can robots have souls? Can they coexist with humanity? His heart, metaphorically and sometimes literally, is tied to something spiritual.

In this movie, it’s Blue Core vs. Red Core. Good vs. Evil. Intention vs. corruption. It’s very literal. Almost like the movie is afraid to wade into anything messier or more philosophical.

Astro’s journey toward humanity gets glossed over. Instead of grappling deeply with what he is, the emotional takeaway becomes: “He’s a good friend.” Which, to be fair, Astro has always been. But he’s also a robot navigating a complicated world. That complexity gets reduced to “outsider kid trying to fit in.”

It works for a children’s movie. It just feels restrained.

The voice cast is kind of stacked, which makes the restraint even more noticeable. Nicolas Cage plays Tenma in a surprisingly subdued performance. Bill Nighy brings dignity and warmth to Dr. Elefun. Donald Sutherland goes full militaristic villain as President Stone. Nathan Lane as Hamegg is easily the most fun performance in the movie... he sounds like he’s having a blast. There’s also Kristen Bell (pre-Frozen) as Cora and Samuel L. Jackson as Zog, the ancient construction bot.

It’s such a tremendous lineup. And yet the script keeps everything so safe. Even during the big climax, a showdown with President Stone who's piloting a giant robot, it never really lets Astro go wild. He fires lasers out of his hand cannons, looks at them, and goes, “Huh. Cool.”

And that’s kind of the vibe of the whole movie.

Huh. Cool.

But not much more.

I don’t hate this version. I actually think it’s a perfectly decent kids’ action movie. Throw in some good snacks, settle in, and you’ll have a good time.

But compared to the 2003 anime series, or especially the original 1960s or 1980s Tezuka vision, it feels cautious. Smaller. A little too afraid to let Astro ask the big questions. A little too determined to translate everything into simple, digestible morality.

Astro Boy has always been a good friend. But he’s also a robot built after Tenma's grief for his dead son. A machine searching for humanity. A hero navigating prejudice and war and loss.

This movie hints at those things, and then backs away.

Still, it’s always good to revisit Astro Boy in any form. And for what it is (A mid-2000s Americanized reboot trying to introduce him to a new generation.) it’s good.

Not cosmic. Not profound.

But good.

Broforce: Broforce Forever Update (2023):

Broforce: Broforce Forever Update (2023):

“The free update to the world's most patriotic video game is out now! New Bros! New Baddies! New Challenges! Play the entire campaign again. And again.”

Broforce added some new characters earlier last year. Let's talk about them. Broffy the Vampire Slayer is obviously Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Her special is holy water which can resurrect her if she dies. It also kills demons. But, since I never got to the levels inside Hell, it's not very useful; she throws wooden stakes instead of shooting. The resurrection aspect is neat.

Seth Brodell is Seth Brondell from The Fly. He vomits acid for his attack. The acid is pretty powerful, and can even kill bigger enemies like the Bruiser in one shot. Plus, he can fly for a little bit with a double-jump. He can use teleportation for his special, which is nice to zip around and clear up challenging spots.

Speaking of challenging, Demolition Bro is another Sylvester Stallone character, from Demolition Man. He throws bombs, but not like the McGyver bro, where it automatically just works. No, you have to attack once to throw the bomb, then attack again to detonate it. Thank goodness he's got a standard melee attack. His special's pretty good though: a bomb that freezes everyone around him.

Bro Gummer is Burt Gummer from Tremors. He's got a big high-powered sniper rifle with a nice kick. Honestly, he feels a little overpowered. His special is sniper mode. It's like Brobrocop's special targeting attack, letting you select and take out several enemies. Except Bro Gummer's is way more powerful.

Next up, we have Xebro, Warrior Princess (Xena: Warrior Princess.) She can attack with a sword like Brolander and Broheart. For her special, she throws her chakram. (Her steel boomerang thingy.) It kills everyone around her and returns to her. Also, as with the Mad Max Bro, you can collect multiples of their special attack items. So that's nice!

Desperabro is obviously Antonio Banderas's character from Desperado. He can make enemies dance, by playing the guitar if you stand still. His melee attack is his guitar. He shoots two shotguns. His special is to call in his buddies with a rocket launcher and a machine gun! He has a lot of ways he can be useful. I think he's my favorite of the new bunch.

Of course, Broforce is still fun to play. There were even some minor changes to classic characters like Bronoversial Soldier (Universal Soldier.) He now shoots rapid shots, and his special has been updated to not only a resurrection ability, but also now his special scares nearby enemies, which is helpful.

Well, I just wanted to talk about the new characters. Definitely, my least favorite of the new bunch is Demolition Bro. Which is unfortunate, because that's a great action movie. Regardless, it's still fun to blow everything up and run-and-gun everywhere. It's Broforce's thing. And that's why I can play Broforce: Forever...forever!

Broforce (2015):

Broforce is a pixelated run-and-gun that is an homage to American action movies. Each hero or "Bro" has their own weapons and special abilities. For example, Rambro (Rambo) can throw grenades, while Brommando (Arnold Schwarzenegger's Commando) fires a rocket launcher with a special attack that fires three missiles. My favorite bro is probably the duo pair known as The Boondock Bros (Boondock Saints), because not only do they both have to be killed for you to lose a life, but their special ability is resurrection. That comes in handy because as you progress the game can get really hard.

You start off just blasting terrorists in the jungle, and rescuing Bros. The bro parody names are funny sometimes, but sometimes they don't even try. Bro Hard should be John BroClane for example. But, others are pretty funny like The Brofessional (The Professional) and Brobrocop (Robocop). Honestly, I just like blowing stuff up sometimes. Your goal is to get to the chopper at the end of each level. Except when you just have to kill a boss. Everything around you blows up or is destroyed when you shoot at it. Even that can be pretty fun.

The fun and humor of the game count for a lot. I never did get much farther than the later buzzsaw trap levels. But, the fast pace and ultra-masculine satirical humor of the game is enough to keep me trying. At the end of each level, you have to kill mini-Satan and raise the USA flag for the chopper to come. But, I see that on the last level, Satan turns into his final beast form and throws fireballs that take up the whole screen that you have to run from while shooting at him. Holy cow! Other levels include aliens and underground enemy bases.

You can also design your own levels in the level editor. Mix and match your enemies and power-ups! Create your own obstacles! Screw around and shoot everything. It's a good time.

Ultimately, I think Broforce has enough challenge and fun to make it infinitely replayable. Though some levels are definitely not my favorite, like the Rail Fortress boss. However, once you beat a level, it's always really satisfying to see everything blow up, and hear that victorious heavy metal guitar riff. Try playing Broforce anyway you can. It's a blast whether you're playing solo or with your bros!