Astro Boy (2009):

Astro Boy (2009):

I finally got around to watching Astro Boy (2009), and you know what? I liked it. Not loved it. Not “This redefined Astro Boy”- kind of liked. But, liked it.

Let’s just get this out of the way. Yeah, the visuals are kind of dated. It’s very 2009 CGI. Shiny metal, slightly rubbery faces, and that weird in-between era where animation hadn’t quite figured out how to stylize humans yet It’s fine. It works. It feels like a Saturday afternoon kids’ movie.

One of my biggest mixed feelings is how they re-imagined the world. In the original anime created by Osamu Tezuka, Astro’s adventures spanned the cosmos. There were robot wars on the Moon. Moral dilemmas across continents. Wild sci-fi ideas that felt boundless.

Here, Metro City is basically a floating city-state, hovering above a trashed Earth. It’s very “Metropolis-lite.” It grounds the story, which makes sense for an American family film, but it also shrinks the scope dramatically. The universe feels smaller. Safer. Contained.

They do sprinkle in nods to older characters and lore, which longtime fans will recognize. But the characterizations? Totally different. And that’s fine. I get that they were probably setting up a new franchise direction. It’s just… this version of Astro Boy, aside from the name and powers, feels barely recognizable.

One thing I genuinely enjoyed was the humor.

Yes, including the now-infamous:

“I have machine guns in… my butt???”

It’s dumb. It’s juvenile. It absolutely got a laugh out of me.

There are also some sweet friendship beats, especially once Astro lands on the surface and ends up with the junkyard kids. It leans heavily into the American “ragtag group of misfits who come together” formula. Predictable? Sure. But it’s warm.

One thing that really stood out to me is how simplified the themes are. Classic Astro Boy wrestles with identity. What does it mean to be human? Can robots have souls? Can they coexist with humanity? His heart, metaphorically and sometimes literally, is tied to something spiritual.

In this movie, it’s Blue Core vs. Red Core. Good vs. Evil. Intention vs. corruption. It’s very literal. Almost like the movie is afraid to wade into anything messier or more philosophical.

Astro’s journey toward humanity gets glossed over. Instead of grappling deeply with what he is, the emotional takeaway becomes: “He’s a good friend.” Which, to be fair, Astro has always been. But he’s also a robot navigating a complicated world. That complexity gets reduced to “outsider kid trying to fit in.”

It works for a children’s movie. It just feels restrained.

The voice cast is kind of stacked, which makes the restraint even more noticeable. Nicolas Cage plays Tenma in a surprisingly subdued performance. Bill Nighy brings dignity and warmth to Dr. Elefun. Donald Sutherland goes full militaristic villain as President Stone. Nathan Lane as Hamegg is easily the most fun performance in the movie... he sounds like he’s having a blast. There’s also Kristen Bell (pre-Frozen) as Cora and Samuel L. Jackson as Zog, the ancient construction bot.

It’s such a tremendous lineup. And yet the script keeps everything so safe. Even during the big climax, a showdown with President Stone who's piloting a giant robot, it never really lets Astro go wild. He fires lasers out of his hand cannons, looks at them, and goes, “Huh. Cool.”

And that’s kind of the vibe of the whole movie.

Huh. Cool.

But not much more.

I don’t hate this version. I actually think it’s a perfectly decent kids’ action movie. Throw in some good snacks, settle in, and you’ll have a good time.

But compared to the 2003 anime series, or especially the original 1960s or 1980s Tezuka vision, it feels cautious. Smaller. A little too afraid to let Astro ask the big questions. A little too determined to translate everything into simple, digestible morality.

Astro Boy has always been a good friend. But he’s also a robot built after Tenma's grief for his dead son. A machine searching for humanity. A hero navigating prejudice and war and loss.

This movie hints at those things, and then backs away.

Still, it’s always good to revisit Astro Boy in any form. And for what it is (A mid-2000s Americanized reboot trying to introduce him to a new generation.) it’s good.

Not cosmic. Not profound.

But good.

Broforce: Broforce Forever Update (2023):

Broforce: Broforce Forever Update (2023):

“The free update to the world's most patriotic video game is out now! New Bros! New Baddies! New Challenges! Play the entire campaign again. And again.”

Broforce added some new characters earlier last year. Let's talk about them. Broffy the Vampire Slayer is obviously Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Her special is holy water which can resurrect her if she dies. It also kills demons. But, since I never got to the levels inside Hell, it's not very useful; she throws wooden stakes instead of shooting. The resurrection aspect is neat.

Seth Brodell is Seth Brondell from The Fly. He vomits acid for his attack. The acid is pretty powerful, and can even kill bigger enemies like the Bruiser in one shot. Plus, he can fly for a little bit with a double-jump. He can use teleportation for his special, which is nice to zip around and clear up challenging spots.

Speaking of challenging, Demolition Bro is another Sylvester Stallone character, from Demolition Man. He throws bombs, but not like the McGyver bro, where it automatically just works. No, you have to attack once to throw the bomb, then attack again to detonate it. Thank goodness he's got a standard melee attack. His special's pretty good though: a bomb that freezes everyone around him.

Bro Gummer is Burt Gummer from Tremors. He's got a big high-powered sniper rifle with a nice kick. Honestly, he feels a little overpowered. His special is sniper mode. It's like Brobrocop's special targeting attack, letting you select and take out several enemies. Except Bro Gummer's is way more powerful.

Next up, we have Xebro, Warrior Princess (Xena: Warrior Princess.) She can attack with a sword like Brolander and Broheart. For her special, she throws her chakram. (Her steel boomerang thingy.) It kills everyone around her and returns to her. Also, as with the Mad Max Bro, you can collect multiples of their special attack items. So that's nice!

Desperabro is obviously Antonio Banderas's character from Desperado. He can make enemies dance, by playing the guitar if you stand still. His melee attack is his guitar. He shoots two shotguns. His special is to call in his buddies with a rocket launcher and a machine gun! He has a lot of ways he can be useful. I think he's my favorite of the new bunch.

Of course, Broforce is still fun to play. There were even some minor changes to classic characters like Bronoversial Soldier (Universal Soldier.) He now shoots rapid shots, and his special has been updated to not only a resurrection ability, but also now his special scares nearby enemies, which is helpful.

Well, I just wanted to talk about the new characters. Definitely, my least favorite of the new bunch is Demolition Bro. Which is unfortunate, because that's a great action movie. Regardless, it's still fun to blow everything up and run-and-gun everywhere. It's Broforce's thing. And that's why I can play Broforce: Forever...forever!

Broforce (2015):

Broforce is a pixelated run-and-gun that is an homage to American action movies. Each hero or "Bro" has their own weapons and special abilities. For example, Rambro (Rambo) can throw grenades, while Brommando (Arnold Schwarzenegger's Commando) fires a rocket launcher with a special attack that fires three missiles. My favorite bro is probably the duo pair known as The Boondock Bros (Boondock Saints), because not only do they both have to be killed for you to lose a life, but their special ability is resurrection. That comes in handy because as you progress the game can get really hard.

You start off just blasting terrorists in the jungle, and rescuing Bros. The bro parody names are funny sometimes, but sometimes they don't even try. Bro Hard should be John BroClane for example. But, others are pretty funny like The Brofessional (The Professional) and Brobrocop (Robocop). Honestly, I just like blowing stuff up sometimes. Your goal is to get to the chopper at the end of each level. Except when you just have to kill a boss. Everything around you blows up or is destroyed when you shoot at it. Even that can be pretty fun.

The fun and humor of the game count for a lot. I never did get much farther than the later buzzsaw trap levels. But, the fast pace and ultra-masculine satirical humor of the game is enough to keep me trying. At the end of each level, you have to kill mini-Satan and raise the USA flag for the chopper to come. But, I see that on the last level, Satan turns into his final beast form and throws fireballs that take up the whole screen that you have to run from while shooting at him. Holy cow! Other levels include aliens and underground enemy bases.

You can also design your own levels in the level editor. Mix and match your enemies and power-ups! Create your own obstacles! Screw around and shoot everything. It's a good time.

Ultimately, I think Broforce has enough challenge and fun to make it infinitely replayable. Though some levels are definitely not my favorite, like the Rail Fortress boss. However, once you beat a level, it's always really satisfying to see everything blow up, and hear that victorious heavy metal guitar riff. Try playing Broforce anyway you can. It's a blast whether you're playing solo or with your bros!

Liberty or Death (1993 SNES):

It's an American Revolutionary War Strategy Game! Well, Calling Liberty or Death a strategy game is a bit generous. It's much more a resource management game with a historical framework. Every move you make takes a certain resource, whether its food, gunpowder, or troops. The battle system is really limited. You move one square at a time, and troops need to be right next to each other to attack. For this reason, it doesn't hold up. I always wanted to like this game more than I actually do.

It's quite literally just whoever has the most things wins. For a historical game, I understand this. It puts the pressure on the players to launch quick and smart attacks, but the one move at a time mechanic really limits your paths to victory. For the British, you want to use your Navy to quickly cut off America from Europe, and capture Philadelphia, or the American General. (Washington)

Now, if you're the Americans, you want to seize Boston to cut off the English Navy immediately, and send delegates to Europe to gain support and allies. Just like Washington did. You can also capture the English General. (Cornwallis.) If you can gain enough support/denial for American independence by running newspapers and delegates to states, they can switch sides from the British to the American army or vice versa.

The resource management and delegate processes can actually be pretty fun, and it's always satisfying to gain support from such-and-such new state. However, the battle system is just tedious and not fun, when it should be the focus of the game, because you'll be doing it a lot. Like I said, everything moves one square, and everything has to be close up to attack. Even the guns. Add to this that you need to manage each resource before battle (Troops run out of food and powder.) and it makes the gameplay very dull...you'll have to use bayonets if you run out of powder, or the battle just ends if you don't have enough food.

In spite of this, I just thought I'd write about this weird historical strategy game because it had so much promise. Some of the resource management is fun! It's always fun to get new troops or new support. But, the part that should be fun, battling, isn't. If you don't end the game before 1800, the game ends with British victory automatically, and Thomas Gage becomes Lord Governor of the 13 Colonies. It's a shame then, that America only has a small path to victory. It's historical, but that also means it's limited.

Surprisingly, I thought the strongest point of the game was also it's biggest weakness...the music. The same 1-minute battle ditty plays on loop for every battle, which gets annoying when you're moving square by square. Now, during the resource management phases you get rousing midis with flute noises and drums, and even “The Star-Spangled Banner". An upbeat continenntal theme which calls America “The Land of Liberty and Justice” plays in the event of an American Victory.

Overall, “Liberty or Death” is a nice educational resource management game. There's sort of an idea of a strategy game there, but it falls flat and the most exciting parts quickly become the most tedious. I'd say unless you really like historical tactics games, you're better off skipping this one. It has some cool ideas though, as sort of a historical “what if?”. Unfortunately, as much as I want to wonder “What if the Spanish had helped American independence instead of France?” I just keep wondering “What if this game were more exciting?”

NOBODY (2021):

NOBODY (2021):

“A docile family man slowly reveals his true character after his house gets burgled by two petty thieves, which, coincidentally, leads him into a bloody war with a Russian crime boss.”

Bob Odenkirk vs. the Russian mob! The movie is about Hutch Mansell, an auditor with a few surprises. When his home is invaded by the Russian mob, and his daughter's kitty cat bracelet goes missing, all hell breaks loose as he defends them. Everything is used as a weapon, and the fight scenes are great. One heck of a ride!

One of the understated strengths of this film is Odenkirk's comedic chops, such as when he shouts at the first burglar to “GIVE ME THE KITTY CAT BRACELET...” or when he calmly walks into the Russian mob boss's club, eats dinner, watches the show, and then presents him with a landmine. Odenkirk has the ability to make very heavy action scenes very funny. Otherwise, it might just be a self-aware “John Wick” style movie, which certainly is how it was marketed...so I was surprised it was so funny!

I've talked before about how I hate the cliché of every assassin/fighter being “The Best”. But here, part of the joke is that he's so good, he just wants to be left alone to live a normal life. Early on, people pick on him, you see people don't respect him, but then that first fight scene with the mob on the bus kicks in, and by the end, the mobster is breathing through a straw.

I recommend this movie. It's got a nice action-comedy mix, and Hutch's transformation from auditor to beast is fun to see. It's definitely hyperviolent, but not without some big laughs. I had a blast. There's even a few high-profile cameos. Check it out on Hulu, if you can.

Stroszek (1977):

Stroszek (1977):

"In Berlin, an alcoholic man, recently released from prison, joins his elderly friend and a prostitute in a determined dream to leave Germany and seek a better life in Wisconsin."

Stroszek is part morality tale and part absurdist comedy. It's tragedy lies in that we want these misfit characters to succeed. But, after an agent confiscates his pet chicken, Stroszek and his band of misfits confront the darkness of the criminal underworld and American life. A Werner Herzog classic! If you can stomach the suffering and madness that is his trademark, give it a watch. It's actually darkly humorous. Free on Tubi.