Iron Man and Captain America: Heroes United (2014)

                                           Iron Man and Captain America: Heroes United (2014):

Captain America: “That’s your problem, Stark. You never strategize.” 

Iron Man: “It’s called thinking on your feet. Or in my case…boot jets!”

You were expecting Guardians of the Galaxy? No, not so soon. This is another CGI adventure in the vein of last year’s Iron Man and Hulk: Heroes United. I have two major problems with this movie. 1. There’s some slight mind control, and 2. The “Waking Life” -like CGI makes the characters’ mouths move funny. That said, it’s at least a good intro for Taskmaster. But, I still feel a little deceived by the title. A little.

You see, the movie sort of tricked me into thinking it would be mostly Cap and Iron Man. But, Taskmaster and Red Skull also feature in it. And that’s fine. Dr. Kruler was also in last year’s Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United. As was Abomination. But, then, even in this movie…I mean, not to ruin it, but you’ve got some Hulk in here, too. There’s just way too 1-on-1 action for job that could’ve been handled easily by the two heroes. Taskmaster is there to fight Cap and Iron Man…while Hulk has an army to take care of!

There is some brief fighting between Cap and Iron Man, but it’s a spar. Plus, the capture and Hawkeying of Cap seems a little too familiar at this point. Give me something other than brainwashing. Although they pull it off nicely. The lesson lays itself on a little thick. Throwing in Hulk doesn’t exactly help the balance of the lesson either. If each hero is to learn something from another…then brainwashing one hero and completely throwing in another seems to defeat that purpose.

I know there’s a twist, but it didn’t need to be made. Iron Man still rubs off a little bit on Cap and vice versa. But, essentially this is no different from  Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United, maybe even with worse CGI. And it’s all kind of wrapped safely within the plot devices of 2012’s The Avengers. Still, it was an ambitious-looking movie, introducing Taskmaster and showing off Cap’s combat skills. But, if you want that, watch The Winter Soldier.

In my opinion, the more I think about this movie, the more I don’t like it. But, at least it’s only 70 minutes. Maybe it’s just a little too ambitious. I liked the voice acting, but most of the movie is just a retread, with stiff mouth movements and unnecessary Hulking out. If they’re going to call it anything, it should be called Iron Man, Hulk, & Captain America: Heroes United. I want to say it could’ve been good…but it’s too much and too sloppy for a 70-minute 3D feature. I’d give it 2/5 stars. And one Hulk for some reason.  
 

Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher (2014):

Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher (2014):

Black Widow: Don’t kill them, Frank!

Punisher: I have no choice!

    This movie could’ve been so cool, if it were an actual Punisher anime! Instead, it’s an excuse for Black Widow to have a romantic fling with the villain. It starts off kind of cool, where Punisher shoots up a whole room of weapons dealers. But, then, he’s reduced to a tagalong. I’m not kidding. That’s what Nick Fury basically says. You see, because the villain has mind control powers, he needed to have two agents around. And who ends up mind-controlled? Yeah…Punisher.

    To the film’s credit, it does show that Black Widow can go toe-to-toe with Punisher. (Frank Castle). Their fights last about a minute each time…the second time he’s mind-controlled. You see, Punisher is on the heels of a weapons dealer named Kane. Who turns out to be the pawn of a lovesick SHIELD (Elias) Agent who steals SHIELD supersoldier tech to impress Black Widow. He is also the pawn of a Russian terrorist organization. Because that would impress her….invade New York.

     Eventually, the Russians use Elias’s mind control to invade New York with supersoldiers. Much of the movie consists of Black Widow being lovesick with Elias. She can take down Punisher, yes, but is apparently weak in the knees over a random SHIELD scientist who she should’ve just taken down. At least Amadeus Cho is there, a child genius SHIELD Agent who creates a mind shield after Black Widow promises to kiss him. She’s  Punisher with flirting abilities. Win-win!

   And now that Russian supersoldiers are invading New York while Black Widow is being romantic and angsty, The Avengers show up to defend the city! This is one instance in the movie where I did like it better than the movies. Because it’s animation, they have the budget to have all the Avengers show up and do their jobs. Hulk, Iron Man, even Captain Marvel. After all, it is Avengers: Confidential. Gotta have Avengers show up.
   
   In sum, I liked the movie. I liked that they were able to show that Black Widow can kick butt after she was kinda sidelined in The Avengers movie. Unfortunately, this leaves very little time to build up Punisher’s kick butt credibility. I mean, normally he has weapons that fire nukes! But, here he’s regulated to a Hawkeye-type role (I‘m calling it being “Hawkeyed”, from now on!) providing connections to the Russian terrorists, and then being mind controlled. It’s always mind control.

    Mind control aside, I do think It’s a good action film, and they build up Punisher nicely in the beginning. I just wish more superhero movies actually used all their superheroes. Punisher really could’ve been anyone. Anyway, nice to see all The Avengers together in anime form. But, who the heck is Elias? Oh, well. At least Punisher gets some revenge in the end! Go see it! 3/5 stars from me! Worth a watch.

The Aquabats! Supershow! Season 1 (2012) Review:

The Aquabats! Supershow! Season 1 (2012) Review:

“Commander, The Aquabats have a moral obligation to help those in need. Even if they are clownbags!”

- Jimmy The Robot to M.C. Bat Commander (The Floating Eye of Death) 

The Aquabats! Supershow! is a comedy superhero show with a cartoon in it! It’s super goofy, and sort of like The Avengers if influenced by Devo. I don’t normally review music, but their music is pretty good too. In the show, they think of themselves as a band first and superheroes second. Which they are. But they have superpowers! Which they seem to be only dimly aware of! Mix the superpowers, goofy plots, and fake infomercials/cartoon interludes, and you’ve got a super fun series to watch! 

As for superpowers, M.C. Bat Commander, their leader, is super determined, sometimes to a funny degree; like when he refuses to say ManAnt’s name correctly. (He calls him MAHNAHNT.) Eaglebones Falconhawk has an invisible Falcon called The Dude, and a guitar that shoots lasers. But, my favorite is Jimmy The Robot, who solves problems through science, and has a variety of robot powers, like laser fingers. True to his robot nature, he likes science, and struggles to understand humanity sometimes. Crash is like Hulk except not a monster. He gets giant-sized when he gets emotional. Ricky Fitness has superspeed, superstrength, and…is fit. 

All this hokey superhero wackiness is interspersed with fake infomercials, (Ren & Stimpy-style!) crazy villains, and weird guest appearances! (Weird Al, Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo, Strong Bad from Homestarrunner.com.) And the Aquabats always learn some cheesy life lesson (“Learning and Growing” segments.), such as eat when you’re hungry, (ManAnt) keep clean (Laundry Day!), or help those in need. (The Floating Eye of Death.) Also, since they’re a band, you also get treated to small goofy musical interludes such as “Burger Rain” and “Doing Science”.

As I said before, it’s a wacky kids show, and it’s got a cartoon in it (which has wonderful animation! I think it‘s anime.) But, there’s also enough jokes to keep adults interested. And the action is just hokey enough to invoke shades of The Power Rangers, or maybe like The Tick. So, it’s very 90s nostalgic. Plus, they are a real Devo-influenced band, so if you have some time, give them a listen! I don’t usually promote music on here, but I like Devo, and superheroes, so I liked it almost instantly. It’s pretty funny!

Overall, The Aquabats! Supershow! is just darn fun. It takes funny and nostalgic concepts and blends them together to make a weird superhero comedy, where the heroes seem only vaguely aware that they are heroes.  They spend entire episodes just trying to make money or have fun before they realize they need to fight a villain. Often in strange ways. For example, to defeat a giant potato bug, (in the episode Pilgrim Boy!) they have a shape shifter turn into a pop star and sing it a sad song until it explodes. Another day for The Aquabats! Season 1 is on Netflix and DVD, (and it’s still running on The Hub!) so check it out if you like good humor, cartoons, superheroes, robots, or any of that! I love it all. 5/5 stars!       

Star Trek Continues Episode 2: “Lolani” (2014) Review:

Star Trek Continues Episode 2: “Lolani” (2014) Review:

“You’re right about one thing, Lolani…everyone deserves the right to be free.”

- Kirk to Lolani, after trying to seduce her way off the ship.

Lou Ferrigno guest stars as Zaminhon, a big muscled Orion slave trader! Not the first time he’s gone green, as he’d played Hulk before! An Orion slave girl he owned is on the loose and she is accused of killing one of her Tellarite captors. At first she won’t speak, but Kirk is gentle and says it’s not a good idea for her to stab friends. Eventually, Dr. McKenna gets her to talk. She must’ve picked up some language amid the slave traders after all. She doesn’t  want to go back.

This is the crux of the episode: Does Captain Kirk compromise his morals (He’s reading a book on The Roman Empire as the episode begins…which collapsed to moral decay.) or does he respect Orion culture and send her back as property. But, it’s not all heavy tension, as some funny scenes do arise between Kirk and McKenna as she begins to question his authority. Lolani patiently asks if this is a mating ritual.

Lolani is determined to get off the ship any way necessary. Tonally, this episode reminds me of Elaan of Troyius. She even tries to seduce the Captain to get her way. But unlike Elaan of Troyius, it doesn’t work here. But, he’s still unwilling to give her back to the slave traders, and wants to keep her safe. But, successfully, she seduces a redshirt (Kenway) and nearly steals a shuttlecraft! If there’s one thing you DON’T DO on Kirk’s ship, it’s overstep his chain of command. Kirk says: “Get a hold of yourself, mister!” and of course confines the redshirt and Lolani.

Meanwhile, Spock is able to determine that Lolani is innocent through a very detailed Vulcan mind-meld which shows her acting in self defense against the Tellarites. This is influential in Kirk’s firm decision not send her back to slavery. He meets with the slave trader (Lou Ferrigno!) who plays at being an epicure when invited to dinner to discuss Lolani. Ever the poker player, Kirk jibes with him, trading barbs with McKenna and pretending to respect Orion culture. But, when Scotty tells 'Hon: “Lolani says you’re an inhuman monster…” things get a little tense.

This whole scene is reminiscent of the dinner scene in Space Seed. But the final fun of the episode for me comes when Kirk catches 'Hon striking Lolani, and gives him a rabbit punch and a signature Captain Kirk dropkick. But, 'Hon is too strong. He throws Kirk aside, and leaves the ship in anger. But, Lolani still won’t go back. Some of his self-sacrifice and equality lessons to Lolani must’ve paid off however, for she blows up 'Hon’s craft as she leaves rather than go back to slavery.

This series is  looking be a bold new take on a classic formula. Lou Ferrigno is gripping as the conniving giant green slave trader. Star Trek: The Original Series was always about exploring human rights issues. But, I doubt the show wouldn’t explored the equality of women so openly. (Although it’s originally hinted at and taken as Starfleet umbrella creed of equality!)

 This episode in particular got into the nitty gritty of that creed, and tested it, along with Kirk’s will, against the Prime Directive. They never did get along, if you know your Trek! Excellent episode! Classic formula with new ideas! And McKenna is proving she’s a match for Kirk’s stubbornness! 5/5 stars! Watch it now!

YouTube Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mOpmIFTxkE#t=266      

Avengers vs. Justice League: War

Avengers vs. Justice League: War

Captain America: “We need a plan of attack!”

Iron Man: “I have a plan. Attack!”

So, in my last post, I made the claim that there are aesthetic differences in the movie Justice League: War to make it different from Avengers, but that it was basically the same plot. The main aesthetic difference I argued, was fear as a motivator. From the beginning, it is established that Batman is a fugitive, hunted by Green Lantern.

    The heroes in Avengers, however, start out as heroes, and active members of their respective communities from SHIELD to India, for The Hulk. In Justice League: War, The impetus for banding together was only the invasion; but they didn’t have 3 hours to jibe and develop relationships between the characters. Iron Man/Hulk do a good job joking and teaming up to work on the alien object, even though Cap chastises them for being unfocused.

   So, from the start the heroes are paired together, and play off of each other. I often say of the Avengers movie that it is a good example of a viable theory of group communication called “Forming, storming, and norming.” It is of course, arguable that Hawkeye needed a little more exposure, but as the only one in this group who hadn’t had a movie yet, he couldn’t be in the first two stages. Justice League: War has little time to develop and thus normalize the heroes roles: essentially we have “forming, storming, Batman!” But, what is forming, storming, and norming?

    Forming is when the group forms. Black Widow serves this purpose, as well as SHIELD, as well as pairing off the heroes to form relationships…as when Cap breaks up a fight with Tony Stark. Superman also fought with Batman like this. But, then, Batman has to rescue Batman. Also, it’s telling that Wonder Woman avoids meeting the President. I know that’s comic relief, but she acts as a fugitive as well. Whereas Cap keeps the group focused by remaining in his past role: The soldier.

  In this respect, each Avenger contains something that connects him to the mission….and that they’re opposed to. Storming is when they question the mission. Even Tony Stark’s suspicion of SHIELD plays on Cap’s trust in SHIELD. Hulk’s rampage and defeat by Thor connects him to Thor. So, he ends up paired with him. Justice League: War has a storming stage, but it is short, since the heroes never meet until the invasion, and Batman rescues Superman. Abducting Superman for conflict reasons, I feel is an odd choice, but it served to show Batman as a leader, and he takes charge, but the end result is the group never feels solidified…it’s Batman’s show…but that’s okay! They have forming, storming, Batman.

   In sum,  Avengers had more time to dealt with forming, storming, and norming. The norming is solidified by the teams mutual avenging of the death of Coulson. It feels less dark because there is more humor (Iron Man’s a jerk, sometimes, but he enjoys himself!) and has more time for the group’s conflicts to resolve. But, in Justice League: War, DC wants the tension to be there, to use a phrase, because he’s Batman.

  Batman thrives off of being a fugitive, and why not? Batman is popular, and this gets the team together quicker…at the cost of character development. In a sense, DC must go with the Batman feel at this point, because the audience already knows him. In a similar vein (Although you have to credit the writers!) Marvel’s Avengers follows the aesthetic of it’s most bankable character for much the same reason. And they are both billionaires…ironic since they are the most bankable.

Ultimately, the cultural aesthetic comes down to who was leading the group. Cap leads the Avengers, kicking into full army mode and formulating his plan of attack! Batman serves as a leader, but only after Superman is underplayed. But, the circumstances called for him to step in…Because he’s Batman! And it would save them making more movies.

Even though Justice League: War is a good preview of what a Justice League movie might look like, to me, it’s clearly following an Avengers formula…but that’s okay! It’s a good decision. That just means they’ll have to go with more familiar characters, and resolve less interpersonal conflict. But, Batman thrives on conflict, and just happens to be the most recognizable character in that universe. Yes, the Avengers all had movies, but DC is playing catch-up, and doesn’t have time to build up there characters. So, Batman may be the hero the DC movies deserve…but not the one they need! Only time will tell!

Bonus Question: Who do you think would win? Avengers or Justice League?

Iron Man and Hulk: Heroes United (2013):

Iron Man and Hulk: Heroes United (2013):

“Well, Hulk I’d say it’s been nice seeing you, but…It really hasn’t.”

- Iron Man

Hulk is on a rampage! After Abomination (Evil big Spiky Hulk!) is let loose, Hulk is willing to destroy the city to stop him! But, not Tony Stark. And he’s been training the Hulkbuster armor. Hulk and Iron Man go at it, and trade ultra-sonic blasts. Actually, if you’ve seen the Avengers, you know Hulk always needs to go on a rampage first. Before they can team-up. The Hulkbuster armor doesn’t actually get used much. But, the training is nice, and then Tony has to break up Hulk/Abomination.
   
    Now, as it turns out the evil Dr. Kuhler was planning on siphoning the monsters’ rage through an arc reactor. And as they are both fighting, he’s able to get access to both. Hulk battles evil Iron Man suits is imprisoned with Abomination in one of those giant turbine things that look like the ones in The Incredibles and they are imprisoning Mr. Incredible.

   What Dr. Kuhler didn’t expect was the creation of Zzzax. A being of electrical power, who Iron Man is able to stop by “overfeeding it”. Since Zzzax siphons off power, and is resistant to both Hulk and Iron Man. He’s beyond even the control of Dr. Kuhler and his Hydra agents. But, Iron Man and Hulk have so much power, they’re able to “give it a stomach ache” together.
 
 This is a neat little animated feature. First off, the whole thing is basically one long fight: Hero-to-hero, villain-to-villain, so there’s not much too complain about. (But, the 3D is a little dated. It's reminiscent of MTV’s Spider-Man from 2003.) Secondly, it’s only about 70 minutes long, so it is rather short. But, it packs a punch, and you get plenty of Iron Man’s wit. I didn’t like that Hulk spoke good English, but that’s personal preference.

Overall, I’d say if you’re a fan of action-based comics and have 70 minutes to watch Hulk tear up New York, give it a watch. The 3D might be a little distracting. But, it is a good story if you like Hulk and Iron Man…or The Incredibles! 3 out of 5 stars from me. Even though it feels like it belongs in 2003, it’s a wild trip! I agree with Iron Man. It would be nice, you just never want to meet Hulk that way!

The Incredible Hulk Series

The Incredible Hulk Series:

                                                

A lot of talk has been going around about “Who’s the best  Batman?” “Who’s the better Spider-Man?” (It’s Andrew Garfield, by the way.) with all this “Who played it better?” going on…why is no one talking about The Hulk? There have been 4 actors for him already! Edward Norton (2008) Mark Ruffalo (2011) Eric Bana…(2003) Wait a minute. The reason there’s no one talking about Hulk is that there’s only been one real Hulk! Lou Ferrigno.

He wasn’t CGI.  He was a real life deaf bodybuilder in the live action Incredible Hulk series. They didn’t really have the budget for Hulk to be this giant thing rampaging through the city, but he’s big and tough and you get the sense that if Hulk were real, this would be him. He’s a little more human in this old series. Which is important, because in the modern movies, he just symbolizes “the monster within”  or is handy whenever they need someone to kick butt and grunt. But, because of Ferrigno’s deafness possibly, I feel that this Hulk attempts more at communication, in contrast to where we, as a hearing audience typically associate communication with verbal articulation.

 For example, in the first episode, Hulk saves a little girl from drowning by tearing down a tree and having her grab on. The girl was scared by Hulk, but he saves her. This returns Lou Ferrigno’s Hulk to his roots in Frankenstein as well as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The “modern” Hulks certainly capture the effect of Mr. Hyde, (Especially in The Avengers; since for the first hour there is no Hulk, and then he shows up to smash.) But, little is done to preserve the idea that the monster is ultimately just as sympathetic as the doctor. Lou Ferrigno’s Hulk is misunderstood and scary-looking, but like Frankenstein’s monster, he is ultimately kind.
 
As mentioned, the live action Hulk isn’t some 20-foot giant rampaging through cities, but he is strong. He rips up cars, uses trees as clubs, and even tears up houses while fighting an evil version of himself! You see, this Hulk is still trying to do good. I suppose you can make an argument that in modern movies Dr. Banner “doesn’t have control of the Hulk yet.” but in the live action version it’s made clear that the Hulk is David Bruce Banner.

 By the way, why is his name Dr. David Bruce Banner? Isn’t his name Dr. Bruce Banner? In this series though, he’s a medical doctor who’s obsessed with finding out what’s at the root of superhuman feats of strength. This seems to make more sense than a nuclear bomb or accidental overdose of gamma rays or a government scientist working with the military! No! He intentionally doses himself with gamma rays and becomes the Hulk for science! His irrational obsession drives him to superhuman feats. His transformation scenes into the Hulk are awesome, and he’s (Bill Bixby) replaced with Lou Ferrigno as Hulk. Though it’s tacky by today’s standards!

Don’t get me wrong, I liked Mark Ruffalo and Edward Norton. But, Lou Ferrigno adds humanity to the Hulk as well as a superhero! The human aspect is lost in the modern CGI. Curiously, in other iterations of the Hulk, he only speaks in minimal phrases. Lou Ferrigno does not talk. This adds more humanity I think, when he is saving someone, and more intensity when he is under threat, because he can’t explain himself! To be fair, the catchphrase for Hulk at this point was “You won’t like me when I’m angry!” which was left to Bill Bixby. Lou Ferrigno is all action!

    Stan Lee has said that part of his inspiration for Hulk was Frankenstein. The other was Mr. Hyde. Lou Ferrigno revives the possibility that the Hulk still is Dr. Banner; like Frankenstein’s monster he tries to do good but frightens the ignorant townspeople. The thing is Hulk is still Bruce Banner. He just can't talk and is a little scary-looking. Perhaps Ferrigno's deafness added to the effectiveness of him running from people he can't talk to; people he's often trying to save. (or teach a lesson!)

   In conclusion, literally, there’s only one real Hulk. I’m sure there’s motion-capture involved today, but on a purely visual level, Lou Ferrigno is the only real Hulk, and that’s the reason there can be no discussion about who’s better. The other actors did fine as Bruce Banner, but they did not become the Hulk. He was the Hulk.

All that needs to be said of Ferrigno’s Hulk is the catchphrase: “You won’t like me when I’m angry!” but I do! And he seems to be more in “control” when he is the Hulk, because of his pure muscle and focus. No caveman speech. Lou Ferrigno adds such intensity and such emotion without it; to make the Hulk strong and more human! I highly recommend looking at this series!

Hulk Vs.

“Bruce Banner, I know thee to be a man of honor. I know thee to be a hero. The lives at stake are not your concern, not even human, but I ask you anyway. Be that hero now.”

- Thor to Dr. Bruce Banner

“Go for it, big guy! Tear this whole godforsaken place down to the ground! DO IT!”

- Wolverine telling Hulk to destroy the Weapon X facility

HULK VS. (2009):

First off, the movie is actually two different scenarios. One is Hulk vs. Thor. The other is Hulk vs. Wolverine. In one, Hulk is captured by Loki, and separated from Hulk by magic, so that Hulk can fight Thor. In the other, Hulk is rampaging in Canada and is kidnapped by Weapon X while fighting Wolverine. Both movies are excellent and have tons of superhero battling action. Though, again, maybe not for the 12 and under crowd.

In the first scenario, Hulk smashes into Asgard and punches Thor into the ground. Loki seems pleased with himself, and goes to pick up Thor’s hammer, but only Thor can wield it, and he zaps Hulk with a lightning storm. This knocks Loki out of Hulk and he becomes free of any control. Thor convinces Loki to let Dr. Banner back inside Hulk, or let Asgard be destroyed. Loki reluctantly accepts. If you know Norse mythology, you know the dead are held in Hel. (One l.) They find Dr. Banner there, where he has been put to sleep and made to believe he’s living a happy life. Loki convinces Hela (Queen of Hel.) that she needs both Banner and Hulk to actually kill him, so she let’s Thor talk to him, and Hela lets him know he’s in a dream, and Hulk is on the loose.

Meanwhile, Hulk destroys Odin’s Valkryies (all of whom are shown riding Pegasus; who’s actually Greek.) Asgard struggles with the Hulk, in some truly great Hulk SMASH action. The sorceress Amora transports Hulk to Hel. Once there, Thor talks Banner into snapping out of his happy dream. Bruce insults Hulk to get him to run at him, and then Loki casts the spell to rejoin their bodies and Hulk transforms back. There are several messages here for disability theory.

One of which, of course, is that we all must deal with the monster within. I already blogged about that in detail in my posts called “Fighting Monsters”. Check out those posts! The other message is that we, as disabled people, mustn’t confuse comfort with satisfaction. Sometimes, we need to wake up from a dream to make our lives actually improve, not just settle for happy illusions, but confront uncomfortable realities and conquer the fear of physical failure. Uncomfortable though it may be, we can rise above it, and make a difference.

In Wolverine’s part of the story, he’s tracking Hulk in Canada when they are ambushed by Weapon X, who wants to experiment on them and turn them into mindless weapons. Unlike Thor, Wolverine convinces Bruce to use his anger to strike out at the villains, and tells him to “stop crying”. The message here seems opposite as to what Thor says. Wolverine and Hulk have anger issues in common, but Wolverine knows anger is useful if you can focus it on a common threat. Anger can also form into passion.

Omega Red, Deadpool, and Lady Deathstrike make appearances. As well as Sabretooth, Wolverine’s old enemy. It’s funny to see the names Hulk gives them. Talking Man, Ugly Lady, etc. Hulk’s vocabulary is hilariously limited to Frankenstein talk. But, he does smash. As I warned before there’s some blood and violence. But if you’re ok with that, it’s a great flick. I was happy to get into some more intense superhero punching. They all take a beating, and it makes the Hulk look very strong and great; with of course some messages about mastering one’s emotions and strengths. And Hulk sure knows what he does best.…HULK SMASH!