Breathing Fire (1991):

Breathing Fire (1991):

“A Vietnam veteran with two kids leads a bank heist that ends up killing one of his war comrades, leaving him to protect the murdered man’s daughter.”

Never did I think a family comedy/martial arts movie would revolve around plastic pizza. Like, toy pizza. Anyway, some bank robbers put some keys to a vault containing Vietnam War gold inside pieces of plastic pizza. Meanwhile, some kids, Tony and Charlie, are training for a state karate tournament.

Well, Charlie's dad gets murdered by the mob after being mailed toy pizza. So, the kids go to live with their Uncle David. He teaches them martial arts, and they try to impress his murdered brother's daughter. Except wait, weren't they already in a karate tournament? None of the karate should be unfamiliar.

Meanwhile, they get made fun of at a dance club, and some mafia guys attack them, where they learn that Tony's dad was part of that mob, and one of his goons was the bully. Also, the dwarf bartenders attack them. I'm not joking! So, then they go to the bully's house, where he's EATING WITH HIS MOM and beat the snot out of him.

Then, he agrees to call the police on the mob. They find the mob boss Angelo, and beat him up, but then decide it's just easier to give him the toy pizza. But, they beat him up, so...they win? You just made it easier for the bad guys to get the gold. Honestly, it all comes back to a kid calling the police. The karate and the crime drama feel really disconnected. None of the karate scenes actually do anything to advance the plot. Also, don't be fooled by the poster: Bolo Yeung is not the main character.

Look, I know someone wanted to follow that Karate Kid money. But, none of the karate here (While fun to watch.) matters. We know they've already trained, but then Uncle David trains them again anyway. It's like they forget that part, just so that we can have more training scenes! They already won a karate tournament! And the pizza plot is just...strange. Who puts keys in toy pizza? I guess it was supposed to be funny.

Overall, I don't think this movie has good enough action to be a good action movie, or good enough comedy to be a good comedy. The plot makes very little sense, and could've easily been a crime drama instead of forcing it into a Karate Kid-type family movie narrative. Definitely skip this one. You aren't missing much. Unless you like pizza jokes, I guess?

Steel Dawn (1987):

Steel Dawn (1987):

“In a post-apocalyptic world, a warrior wandering through the desert comes upon a group of settlers who are being menaced by the leader of a murderous gang who's after the water they control.”

Patrick Swayze plays a nomad passing through looking for food and shelter in an apocalyptic wasteland. He finds a family, and then has to protect them from roving raiders as they make plans to irrigate the town with a freshwater source. It's pretty much sci-fi action Roadhouse (1989), except instead of protecting a bar, he's protecting a post-nuclear war town.

And not only is he pursued by would-be invaders, but also people from his past, as it's hinted at that the nomad used to be a soldier in the last great war. Kasha (his would-be hostess.) makes plans to irrigate the town with her water supply, but this is what brings back trouble from the nomad's past, an assassin named Sho.

Sho has some cool weapons, including swords and a signature knee-dagger. He also refuses to fight Swayze's nomad unfairly. (Which seems very sporting for a hired assassin.) Although I like Patrick Swayze, he constantly holds his sword the wrong way. It just bugged me. Also, he takes a liking to her kid, Jux, and builds a “wind-racer” with him (Sort of a sailed go-kart.) which eventually leads to one of the slowest chase scenes I've ever seen.

All in all, it's not Mad Max or Star Wars, but it is a fun little post-apocalyptic B-movie that's sure trying to be both. Some of the action scenes venture into comedy territory they look so bad. It is hard not to like Patrick Swayze in a rugged family man role though. If you have time, give it a watch on Tubi. But, don't take it too serious, and keep some snacks nearby!

Drive (2011):

Drive (2011):

“An action drama about a mysterious Hollywood stuntman and mechanic who moonlights as a getaway driver, and finds himself in trouble when he helps out his neighbor.”

Drive is about a stunt driver who secretly works as a getaway driver. However, he wants out, after a job to rob a pawn shop goes south. It threatens a family he cares about, which is the only peace in his life he has. The driving scenes are really calm and highlight the stabs of grotesque violence. It's almost artful in its deliberate mutilation such as headshots, bashed limbs, or heads.

Ryan Gosling does a good job playing a smooth criminal. He never really loses control, especially in the car. The car scenes are oddly peaceful. The most he'll ever be intense is when he's attacking, but other than that, he's collected. The synthwave soundtrack also adds to this serene feel, where you hear nothing but a soothing bassline until the action creeps in.

In the end, it's up to the driver to return his boss's stolen money, and save the people he cares about if he can. There's Shannon, (his stunt driving boss.) his maybe girlfriend Renie, and her son. Meanwhile, the unnamed driver has to fend off a mob boss's goons before he can return the money. If he can even get to him on time.

Speaking of time, if you have time, give this movie a watch. It's entrancing and almost hypnotic to watch. The soundtrack alone makes it a very cool experience. Were it not an action movie, it'd be relaxing. But, the action scenes are very well done too, they are very heavy, and give a sense of relief when the calm bits drag...then, it's full-throttle!

The Peanut Butter Falcon (2019):

The Peanut Butter Falcon (2019):

“Zak runs away from his care home to make his dream of becoming a wrestler come true.”

A man with Down Syndrome (Zak) escapes from a nursing home to become a professional wrestler. Now, I'm somewhat of a pro wrestling fan, and this movie deals with disabilities, so I liked it. Along the way, Zak is helped by Tyler (Shia Lebeouf) a fisherman and latchkey kid who's on the run for stealing crab pots. He helps Zak face his fear of water as they search out the wrestling school.

They find out they're not bad people at all. Tyler helps (reluctantly) come up with a wrestling name for Zak... The Peanut Butter Falcon, because of Zak's love for peanut butter. Meanwhile, Zak is still being pursued by Eleanor, his former nurse, who explains that she's just trying to do her job. The movie does a good job showing both sides of assisted living: the longing for freedom vs. security.

After they all find the wrestling school, Zak finds that his former wrestling idol, Saltwater Redneck, is a husk of his old self. But, Zak is such a big fan that he convinces him to teach wrestling one more time. He teaches him some moves, and even books him a match with Samson. (Played by Jake “The Snake” Roberts!)

It feels somewhat ambiguous whether the trip succeeds or not, as Eleanor would surely take him back to the facility as soon as he finished. But, at least Zak pursued his dream, and made his own decision. If you have time, watch it today. It's comedy with a lot of heart, and even some good wrestling cameos!

NOBODY (2021):

NOBODY (2021):

“A docile family man slowly reveals his true character after his house gets burgled by two petty thieves, which, coincidentally, leads him into a bloody war with a Russian crime boss.”

Bob Odenkirk vs. the Russian mob! The movie is about Hutch Mansell, an auditor with a few surprises. When his home is invaded by the Russian mob, and his daughter's kitty cat bracelet goes missing, all hell breaks loose as he defends them. Everything is used as a weapon, and the fight scenes are great. One heck of a ride!

One of the understated strengths of this film is Odenkirk's comedic chops, such as when he shouts at the first burglar to “GIVE ME THE KITTY CAT BRACELET...” or when he calmly walks into the Russian mob boss's club, eats dinner, watches the show, and then presents him with a landmine. Odenkirk has the ability to make very heavy action scenes very funny. Otherwise, it might just be a self-aware “John Wick” style movie, which certainly is how it was marketed...so I was surprised it was so funny!

I've talked before about how I hate the cliché of every assassin/fighter being “The Best”. But here, part of the joke is that he's so good, he just wants to be left alone to live a normal life. Early on, people pick on him, you see people don't respect him, but then that first fight scene with the mob on the bus kicks in, and by the end, the mobster is breathing through a straw.

I recommend this movie. It's got a nice action-comedy mix, and Hutch's transformation from auditor to beast is fun to see. It's definitely hyperviolent, but not without some big laughs. I had a blast. There's even a few high-profile cameos. Check it out on Hulu, if you can.

Green Snake a.k.a. White Snake 2: The Tribulations of Green Snake (2021):

Green Snake a.k.a. White Snake 2: The Tribulations of Green Snake (2021):

“Verta the green snake-demon must find a way to escape from the modern Asuraville of mortals, in order to rescue her elder sister Blanca the White Snake from the demon-slaying monk Fahai.”

“Green Snake” as it was released in America on Netflix, is in fact a sequel to the animated “White Snake” (2019) movie from China. Let's treat it as it's own movie though. After a fight with the monk Fahai, White Snake is sucked into a kind of Buddhist purgatory. Green Snake goes after her. There, she finds that she's no longer in Tang dynasty China, but an amalgam of the modern world and spirit world called Asuraville.

She meets up with Simon and his party, who are hunting down demons led by Mr. Ox. They want to conquer Asuraville, whereas the others just want to return. Old Fox, a spirit with a fox on one side of her head acts as a guide, and explains how to leave Asuraville, by dropping their “tokens of desire” into a pool. Meanwhile, Green Snake might actually have met White Snake (Blanca), reincarnated as a man who's name is never revealed anyway.

Then, when they all gather their tokens, they battle with Mr. Ox again. He finally agrees to leave with them after removing the no-name man's face, for some reason. Then, they battle Fahai again. Green Snake is defeated over and over actually, but ends up in the modern world when she beats Fahai. Green Snake is confused. So was I.

I don't know that I liked this movie. I didn't hate it, but it had way too many side-quests. First it's about Fahai, then find Green Snake, fight demons, then find Green Snake again...it goes on for about 30 mins too long. Plus, I don't like that the action stops just so they can explain the tokens of desire midway through. By the time they got to the 2nd Fahai encounter, I was lost as to what the main story was. Was it to find White Snake, defeat the demons, or get home? Hadn't she done all that before anyway?

I don't really recommend this movie. The animation and battle scenes are good. But, there are just way too many subplots that divert the main story. Maybe it would've made more sense if it weren't presented as a standalone movie. But, in its present form on US Netflix, I have to say skip this one.