Robin Hood (1973):

Robin Hood (1973):

“The story of the legendary British outlaw is portrayed with the characters as humanoid animals.”

Well, I never thought I'd be reviewing this classic. So, here I go! It's the tale of Robin Hood, as seen through the animal kingdom. Robin Hood is a fox, Little John's a bear, and the whole thing is told by a rooster. Prince John is a power-hungry maneless lion, bent on taxing the poor, and living a rich lifestyle.

But, Robin Hood robs from the rich and gives to the poor. We first see this when he and Little John disguise themselves as female fortune tellers, but Prince John lets them in, because: “Female bandits? What next?” Then, when the rabbit Skippy has a birthday party, Robin Hood stops by and gives him his hat and bow. Well, he gets into some trouble as he shoots an arrow in Prince John's court.

Maid Marian checks on Skippy, and from this, the haughty Prince John and Sir Hiss get the idea to lure Robin Hood out with an archery contest (But, not before getting robbed again!), and then by kidnapping Friar Tuck! Robin Hood enters the contest disguised as a giant stork, fake beak and all. Clever!

After winning the tournament and Maid Marian, Robin Hood is found out, Friar Tuck is captured by the wolf Sheriff of Nottingham, and all looks to be lost until Robin Hood and Skippy's friends organize a jailbreak. (In disguise of course, this time as the dumb vulture guard Nutsy.) He fights the Sheriff and then disposes of Prince John for the actual king, Richard The Lion-Hearted. In this version, of course, he's an actual lion. Maid Marion and Robin Hood get married, and it all makes for a good lighthearted kid's movie.

A few notes before I recommend this one. There's some reused animation that's from the Jungle Book (1967). Most notably, during the dance number. The whole thing is (Oodalalee!) after all, a musical. But, other than that, the voice acting is good (Sir Hiss the snake and Prince John sure ham it up together.), the hand-drawn animation is nice, and I found it fun to re-visit, years later. I hadn't seen it since I was a kid, and I thought it holds up. Give it a watch on Disney+!

SUPERMAN: RED SON (2020):

SUPERMAN: RED SON (2020):

“What if baby Kal-El's rocket landed, not in Kansas, but in the Soviet Union? That is the premise of this Elseworld's tale from DC Comics.”

There's a lot going on here. This is an alternate world based on the 2003 comic by Mark Millar where Superman was raised in the USSR. He kills Stalin after he finds out about the gulags. He beats back capitalist Bizzaro created by the US with Lex Luthor. He defeats the Green Lanterns as they are recruited in the Cold War, and single-handedly wins the Korean War for the Communists.

So, in this world, Kal-El is still the same person. He still cares about helping people, only he believes the Soviet system is the way to do so. Even with his vast power, and big heart, he finds that he can't control people the way he'd like to in the name of equality. He fights Batman over this. In this version, Batman survives the gulag.

To add to the list of heroes making a cameo, he courts Wonder Woman on a diplomacy mission. Eventually, she withdraws when she finds out that with the help of Brainiac, he's been turning people into robots to make them more agreeable. Superman discovers that the villain soon can't be trusted. This leads to a showdown between Brainiac and US President Lex Luthor.

All-in-all, this is a fantastic showcase for a DC what-if scenario. The comic is a bit more detailed, but I highly recommend this one for a watch, however you can. It really shows the ability of comics and animation to transport us to other worlds. Plus, I like Jason Isaac's faux Russian accent. In Soviet Russia, Superman cartoon watches you!



READ MY SUPERMAN:RED SON COMIC REVIEW HERE: https://bit.ly/2XmZ4xg

SOUL (2020):

SOUL (2020):

"After landing the gig of a lifetime, a New York jazz pianist suddenly finds himself trapped in a strange land between Earth and the afterlife."

Soul is a trippy movie dealing with the meaning of life. The animation is bonkers, and there's a lot of transcendental happenings going on for what is marketed as a kids' movie. Unborn souls, lost souls, wild scenery, and a bodyswap with a cat. Check it out!

Tank Girl (1995):

Tank Girl (1995):

"A girl is among the few survivors of a dystopian Earth. Riding a war tank, she fights against the tyranny of a mega-corporation that dominates the remaining potable water supply of the planet."

Bizarre apocalyptic sci-fi action-comedy film with Tank Girl trying to rescue her friend from a madman who hoards the world's water and drains it through their bodies. It has cartoony elements like dancing to fight off enemies, befriending goofy mutants, and her tank comes to her like a pet. Interspersed with comic book animation. Check it out if you can.

Wizards (1977):

Wizards (1977):

"On a post-apocalyptic Earth, a wizard and his faire folk comrades fight an evil wizard who's using technology in his bid for conquest."

Wizards is pretty weird. An evil wizard fights against hippie elves after he discovers Nazi film propaganda. A silent bounty hunter! Trippy visuals by Ralph Bakshi. It satirizes war, religion, and technology. Check it out.

Masters of the Universe (1987):

Masters of the Universe (1987):

"A life-action feature film based on the popular cartoon kids show about a prince turned warrior named He-Man."

Dolph Lundgren played a great He-Man. Great Skeletor, too. But, several other elements also make this film weird. Who insisted on the Orko knockoff? (Gwildor) Who OK'd a Back to The Future subplot? Great movie, but a little cheesy. I liked it, but you just have to accept its flaws as part of its charm. In honor of Masters of the Universe returning to Netflix today, I thought I'd reccommend it.

CADILLACS AND DINOSAURS (1993 ARCADE) ACCESSIBILITY REVIEW:

CADILLACS AND DINOSAURS (1993 ARCADE) ACCESSIBILITY REVIEW:

MESS O.: “HEY CREEP! GET AWAY FROM THAT DINO!”

VICE T.: “GET LOST OR LOSE TEETH! YOUR CARCASS WILL FATTEN UP THIS 

ROCK HOPPER BEFORE I SKIN IT!”

- Stage 1 Boss “Vice T.” Dialogue 

    Today, I played the most 90s thing I have ever seen. Why haven’t I ever seen this before!? Listen to this:  It’s a Final Fight ripoff based on a comic that became a Saturday morning cartoon. That is gnarly, dude! It’s about guys from an apocalyptic 2153 fighting dinosaur hunters the best way possible. By beating them up! And sometimes even their dinosaurs, because those are obviously bad dinos. The ones you are saving are good. Since 90s nostalgia is cool, and it’s the most recent thing I’ve played, I thought I’d share some of my experiences with this radical game.

Apparently, the game supports up to four players: Jack, (Your Cody Clone!) Hannah, (Obligatory female in orange suit.) Mustapha,( Tough Black Guy!) and Mess O., (Your Haggar Clone!) Now, it’s pretty much your standard beat-‘em-up sidescroller with scifi tough guys, fat guys, and people with whips (And dinos, of course!) to beat up as you find food and power-ups in conveniently-placed oil drums and containers. But, it’s main gimmick seems to be that this game has more guns than The Punisher arcade game. There are a lot. All over the place.

Unlike most beat-em-ups, you see, it uses an ammo system. Most beat-em-ups have you throw away your gun after a few uses, like a ranged weapon with 3 uses. (The Punisher, Final Fight, Streets of Rage, etc.) Not in this game! You can pick up ammo, and blast punks with your shotguns, or triceratopses with your uzis, ‘til you can’t reload. This is the first beat-em-up I’ve seen with such a reload system, and it is awesome.

By the way, on the flipside of awesome cheese, all 90s arcade beat-em-ups had frighteningly cheesy and potentially traumatic game over screens to get you to fork over another quarter. In this one, Vice T. shoots you in the face when the counter reaches 0, and says “ EAT LEAD -- BABY!” Terrifying cheesiness. But, in this emulation, simply pressing a button inserts a coin, thank goodness. So we can be spared the potential trauma of hearing: “EAT LEAD -- BABY!” in our nightmares!

I love the cheesiness. I love that the mission doesn’t make sense. Save good dinos, kill bad ones. Sure! And I love that everything is solved with a one-liner and a punch. I even love the bad dialogue. (Jack’s victory phrase is “You can’t touch this!”) Anyway, I did have a couple accessibility issues. Since this was an emulation, I couldn’t figure out how to do special attacks. I pressed all the buttons. But, since there was no instructions on how the emulation translates arcade buttons, I still haven’t figured it all out, but have done most the guesswork myself. Thankfully, beat-em-ups  are pretty straightforward and accessible. Just punch and move forward.

Before anyone asks…I haven’t read the comics, or seen the cartoon (Yet!) But, I thought the game was mind-blowingly RADICAL. If you want to revisit the 90s, or just have fun beating up bad guys with the power of one-liners and 90s catchphrases, this game is for you. Guns and dinosaurs! What more do you want? Check it out!

FINAL GRADE: A

ACCESSIBILITY GRADE: A-  (Straight-forward beat-em-up with minimal tricky controls. Punch and move forward if all else fails.)

FORGIVENESS FACTOR: A+ (Unlimited continues if you‘re playing an emulation!)

CONTROLS: A (Pretty straightforward for a beat-em-up. But, some guesswork. Figure out how to punch, and you‘re good to beat up punks and evil dinos! Rock on!)

The Aquabats! Supershow! Season 1 (2012) Review:

The Aquabats! Supershow! Season 1 (2012) Review:

“Commander, The Aquabats have a moral obligation to help those in need. Even if they are clownbags!”

- Jimmy The Robot to M.C. Bat Commander (The Floating Eye of Death) 

The Aquabats! Supershow! is a comedy superhero show with a cartoon in it! It’s super goofy, and sort of like The Avengers if influenced by Devo. I don’t normally review music, but their music is pretty good too. In the show, they think of themselves as a band first and superheroes second. Which they are. But they have superpowers! Which they seem to be only dimly aware of! Mix the superpowers, goofy plots, and fake infomercials/cartoon interludes, and you’ve got a super fun series to watch! 

As for superpowers, M.C. Bat Commander, their leader, is super determined, sometimes to a funny degree; like when he refuses to say ManAnt’s name correctly. (He calls him MAHNAHNT.) Eaglebones Falconhawk has an invisible Falcon called The Dude, and a guitar that shoots lasers. But, my favorite is Jimmy The Robot, who solves problems through science, and has a variety of robot powers, like laser fingers. True to his robot nature, he likes science, and struggles to understand humanity sometimes. Crash is like Hulk except not a monster. He gets giant-sized when he gets emotional. Ricky Fitness has superspeed, superstrength, and…is fit. 

All this hokey superhero wackiness is interspersed with fake infomercials, (Ren & Stimpy-style!) crazy villains, and weird guest appearances! (Weird Al, Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo, Strong Bad from Homestarrunner.com.) And the Aquabats always learn some cheesy life lesson (“Learning and Growing” segments.), such as eat when you’re hungry, (ManAnt) keep clean (Laundry Day!), or help those in need. (The Floating Eye of Death.) Also, since they’re a band, you also get treated to small goofy musical interludes such as “Burger Rain” and “Doing Science”.

As I said before, it’s a wacky kids show, and it’s got a cartoon in it (which has wonderful animation! I think it‘s anime.) But, there’s also enough jokes to keep adults interested. And the action is just hokey enough to invoke shades of The Power Rangers, or maybe like The Tick. So, it’s very 90s nostalgic. Plus, they are a real Devo-influenced band, so if you have some time, give them a listen! I don’t usually promote music on here, but I like Devo, and superheroes, so I liked it almost instantly. It’s pretty funny!

Overall, The Aquabats! Supershow! is just darn fun. It takes funny and nostalgic concepts and blends them together to make a weird superhero comedy, where the heroes seem only vaguely aware that they are heroes.  They spend entire episodes just trying to make money or have fun before they realize they need to fight a villain. Often in strange ways. For example, to defeat a giant potato bug, (in the episode Pilgrim Boy!) they have a shape shifter turn into a pop star and sing it a sad song until it explodes. Another day for The Aquabats! Season 1 is on Netflix and DVD, (and it’s still running on The Hub!) so check it out if you like good humor, cartoons, superheroes, robots, or any of that! I love it all. 5/5 stars!       

Beware The Batman Episode 6 “Toxic” Review:

Beware The Batman Episode 6  “Toxic” Review:

Batman: “There are two things in life everyone’s powerless against. Love and revenge.”

I loved this episode of Beware The Batman! It really shows a thinking man’s Batman. More compassionate and logical than the “Because he’s BATMAN!” school of thought cinema and pop culture have trapped some into in modern times. The story begins with two star-crossed lovers, and Simon Stagg doesn’t want her daughter dating his security guards. So, conducts an experiment on him to “weaponize his genetic code”, and turns him into the hideous Metamorpho, who can change his form.
 
One of the reasons I love this is that it makes for great sci-fi. There’s just enough babble to make it seem futuristic, but enough detective work to make it seem plausible. Also, I like that Simon Stagg is a greedy weapons’ contractor. You don’t see a lot of Batman going after rich evil people these days. They’re all criminally insane or terrorists usually. Nice to see Batman change up his targets.

    Speaking of how the villains are usually mentally ill, it’s strongly foreshadowed that the psychologist Dr. Ravencroft is a villainess, which I predicted…and loved! It’s nice to see Batman cares for the downtrodden and in this version, goes after even those in power with “normal” minds and bodies. Dr. Ravencroft asks Bruce on a date, and is especially creepy in this episode.
 
So, anyway, Batman helps Metamorpho find Stagg, but is still looking for a cure for him. I doubt he’ll find one, as Metamorpho is no doubt destined to team-up with Katana in The Outsiders. It was great to see Batman uncover Stagg’s operations while dodging a dinner date…they’re really pushing the spy/detective angle on Batman…and it’s nice to see him uphold things like love, equality, and logic. But, I still have no idea how you’d “weaponize” DNA. That’s what makes it good sci-fi!    

    This was a very risky episode of Beware The Batman, I feel. It challenges preconceived notions of Batman’s bravado, and shows a more sensitive side in his empathy with Metamorpho and his lover Sapphire. It also challenges body norms and traditional notions of love. Metamorpho asks several times if Sapphire still loves him the way he is, and she is conflicted. But, I suspect there’s more to their love than appearance.

   Also, the animation here is top notch. The imagery and the contrasting plots are perfectly juxtaposed. One story is about dating to keep up the appearance love (Ravencroft & Bruce Wayne), and the other is about recognizing inner beauty free of social conventions like dating. (Metamorpho and Sapphire) Stagg reacts emotionally to danger, while Batman acts logically.

  I love this interpretation of Batman. I know it’s pretty much a Romeo and Juliet story, but I needed to see that Batman is capable of such logic and compassion, as opposed to being the cold, brazen, macho man of recent public memory. Finally, I just can’t wait for The Outsiders to form! The first I’d heard of them was actually in Batman: The Brave And The Bold! But, I know it’s a Silver Age superhero team…

I really like The Silver Age Batman detective story they’re going for. I haven’t been this excited about a cartoon since Batman: The Animated Series! Great episode…great themes, great visuals! Definitely one of my first A+ rated episodes! I hope they keep it going!

Beware The Batman Episode 4 “Safe” Review:

Beware The Batman Episode 4 “Safe” Review:

Dr. Burr: But I thought Wayne Manor was safe!

Katana: You are never safe.

Episode 4 of Beware The Batman (“Safe”) brings back The League of Assassins. Dr. Burr is attacked by ninjas after creating the ion cortex, a power source that Bruce Wayne plans to sell. After being attacked and the ninjas beaten by Katana/Batman, Dr. Burr and co. are sent to Wayne Manor for protection. But, as Katana warns Dr. Burr, just because Wayne Manor is safe doesn’t mean they are safe.

   This is a pretty good episode with an okay villain. It’s more about Katana and her connection to the League of Assassins than Batman. Although she learns to trust Batman despite his secretive nature because he fights with honor. He even saves Katana from Silver Monkey, one of the League of Assassins’ goons. The real villainess we never see. It’s her I’m most interested in.

Apparently not only is this villainess (Lady Shiva) interested in the ion cortex, but also Katana’s Soul Stealer sword. Also, they do that Inspector Gadget Dr. Claw thing where you never see Lady Shiva, so it adds to the mystery. Also there’s a silly plot point where Dr. Burr acts as comic relief and fawns over Katana. (Whose clan name “Katana” we actually hear in this episode, instead of Tatsu Yamashiro.)

   A pretty good action-oriented episode. Not too much detective work, since they spend the majority defending themselves. But, good to see Katana fight alongside Batman, and gain her trust. The episode could set up a lot of possibilities. Will we learn why The League of Assassins wants the Soul Stealer sword?

Or the ion cortex? I’m probably most excited for a possible return of Ra’s Al Ghul, who may still be the head of the League of Assassins in this version. Or it may be Lady Shiva! Still, in the midst of all these obscure “re-skinned” villains from Grant Morrison’s rogue gallery, it’s nice to see a familiar cornerstone of the Batman Universe like The League of Assassins! Solid episode…I give it an A! Can’t wait for more.

Beware The Batman Episode 3 Review "Tests"

Daedalus: “Down with creative oppression! This is justice!”

Batman: “No. I am justice!”

Episode 3 of Beware The Bat is a strong episode for Batman. Not really for the villian, Anarky. He’s basically re-hashing The Joker. And not doing so well. He calls his cronies artists instead of jokers. Heck, his moniker isn’t even mysterious. He is anarchy, Batman is order. He prides himself on being a force of chaos, but Batman proves that he isn’t just a force of order, but justice. He’s a lot more complex than he looks.

Katana Batman’s bodyguard also proved her worth in this episode, hence the name “Tests”. She passes Batman’s obstacles as well as Batman would, and tracks him down to Anarky’s location in the end. Anarky talks a big game as if he’s a big creative and illogical force, but Batman taunts him and tells him he’s being way too predictable which was exactly what I thought.

With the 3D animation, I thought Anarky looked sort of like he was clayamation. I get that he’s supposed to be in contrast to The Dark Knight, but this type of bright white does not look good in 3D. It was as if he was made of milk. Joker’s white face paint was at least subtle and a creepy subversion of a happy clown smile. Here we have a nearly featureless ghost character who shouts his own scheme.

Come to think of it, the plot even rips off The Dark Knight. Anarky’s artists Daedalus and Junkyard Dog rob a musuem to lure Batman out then plant bombs on some boats, and he must “choose” which boats to save. Not much to say here, except that where the episode shines is showing that Batman is a lot more logical and complex than he has been shown to be in the past. He isn’t just about revenge and order. He can improvise. So too, can Katana, who will no doubt uncover Bruce Wayne’s secret soon.

In conclusion, while it was a great episode for the heroes’ development, the villain was visually drab, an obvious copycat, and way too predictable for his namesake! Joker at least had some style! I kind of suspected that Anarky was a weak Joker substitute to begin with. But, here’s hoping the newer episodes will allow the villains to grow out of their cookie-cutter Batman motifs! I’ll catch up soon, I swear.

BEWARE THE BATMAN EPISODE 2: SECRETS:

BEWARE THE BATMAN EPISODE 2: SECRETS:

    I know Beware The Batman is not something to base an actual diagnosis of mental illness off of, but part of this blog is about thinking critically about the images we receive about physical/mental conditions of the body. That said, let’s review the episode. Magpie is a kleptomaniac villianess who looks like she raided The Black Cat’s wardrobe and pasted on an avian theme. She wants to steal shiny things; chiefly Batman’s utility belt so she can steal more shiny things, but she is not quite the Catwoman replacement I first believed her to be, for she also has a memory stealing helmet, used on a guard in the first scene.

   After some investigation, Batman uncovers the Magpie was a Blackgate inmate. So far so good! The disturbing questions for me, came when Magpie’s “true identity” was uncovered…and, of course the inclusion of the moronic Lunkhead as a setup for Batman and Gordon to figure out the same things and meet. It is a kid’s show though, and to me it’s obvious that Lunkhead’s comedic behavior was the reflection of him trying to be good again…not necessarily his apparent learning disability. (Though criticism is welcome!)

 Lunkhead aside, the episode for me raised questions of identity, medical ethics, and mental health. I don’t know what real kleptomania is like, but I find it highly suspect that Dr. Ravencroft invented a memory wiping machine in the first place. Surely, the mere fact that people labelled as criminals have mental conditions does not warrant their memories being erased. Magpie soon discovers that “Magpie” is only her kleptomaniac personality. Instead of erasing it, Dr. Ravencroft pushed that identity to the front. I know this is only a cartoon, but to me it seems to give the impression that as long as criminals have a mental condition/disability, (In the case of Lunkhead.) it’s okay to play around  with  their identities and minds.
 
 Magpie even tells Batman after she captures him that he doesn’t need to worry about her taking off his mask because she knows the value of keeping things secret. So, why is Batman, as a higher-functioning mental case, allowed to keep his secret…while Magpie, in a desperate search for her own identity, must be the victim of some twisted correctional experiment? Because he helped Lieutenant Gordon, Batman’s own mental case is excused. Still, I am hoping that Dr. Ravencroft is revealed to be a villianess…even though I know the public prefers to keep good and evil as reflected through physical/mental appearances. I’m always there to cast a critical eye on it!

    In all honesty, I can’t say it was a bad episode, just a little disturbing in the ways that they portray treatment of those with mental conditions. In one scene, when looking at an inkblot test, Batman sees his parent’s murder, but tells Ravencroft he just sees ink on paper. A subtle hint that Batman might suspect the doctor of trying to uncover Batman maybe. In any case, Dr. Ravencroft could be a really good villainess, and if they don’t make her one…it’d be an unsettling message to say that “good doctors” can mess around with memories. We’ll have to see! Until next time! By the way, my rating for this episode was 6.0/10 or C+, just due to the disturbing nature of disability here. Batman never has had a good track record dealing with mental health issues and mental disabilities! But, I can hope!

Beware The Batman: Thoughts and Previews

BATMAN: BEWARE THE BATMAN INITIAL THOUGHTS & PREVIEWS:

“To those that would hurt the innocent. I give you this one warning: Beware my wrath.”

- Beware The Batman teaser clip

    Beware The Batman premieres tomorrow on Cartoon Network as part of the channel’s DC Nation Saturday morning cartoon series. I thought I’d record some of my initial thoughts and expectations here. I was initially excited that the series will be based on Grant Morrison’s Batman & Robin run. But that for me raises a really big question: how the heck do you do that for a kid’s cartoon, being that Professor Pyg rips peoples’ faces off, and surgically replaces them with doll faces!?
    To be frank, I think the answer is they won’t change much beyond the names of the villains. Mr. Anarky is basically Joker. I predict Magpie will be a replacement Catwoman. Guess who Tobias Whale is a template for? Ugh…the one development I am happy to see is that Alfred will be more action-oriented, and an ex-MI6 agent. That would be like if James Bond was butler to Batman! And that sounds cool! Though I have to be honest, I’m leery about the show being CGI. It worked for Green Lantern though.
        I don’t have high expectations for the series. 3D animation notwithstanding. I got a preview comic on my iPad. It was okay. It introduces Alfred, Tobias Whale, and Mr. Anarky. I wonder how Professor Pyg will come in. Will it have The Red Hood? Being that the violence is toned down, and it’s 3D, and a kid’s show, how much action can they show! But, Batman is always good!
    I’ll probably be watching in the spirit of reserved hope. Maybe I’ll like this new one. Grant Morrison sure did some awesome Batman comics! How will they translate to CN? I’m excited to know! I just hope the villains aren’t just mockups of the originals! Plus, it’s always disappointing not to hear Kevin Conroy as the voice of Batman. Beware the Batman? Or just don’t watch? We’ll see! Stay tuned!