The Karate Kid Part III (1989):

The Karate Kid Part III (1989):

“Ostracised villain John Kreese attempts to gain revenge on Daniel and Miyagi, with the help of a Vietnam War comrade, the wealthy owner of a toxic waste disposal business.”

Terry Silver tricks Danny into training with Cobra Kai. John Kreese fakes his death after his dojo is defeated, and calls on his Vietnam War buddy Terry Silver (Now a wealthy toxic waste mogul.) to humiliate and destroy Daniel and Miyagi. Meanwhile, Danny spends his college fund opening a bonsai tree business for Mr. Miyagi.

Mr. Miyagi and Daniel are attacked by “Karate's Bad Boy” Mike Barnes, on Silver's orders. But, Miyagi still won't let Daniel compete in the karate tournament. Here's where Terry Silver slithers in, and presents himself as a reasonable sensei, when he is in reality a bloodthirsty sociopath who aims to torture Danny through training.

When Danny tries to say he's had enough, Mike Barnes, John Kreese, and Terry Silver jump out at him, but he's saved by Miyagi. This is where the karate really gets good. The tournament fight in this one is much better too. Overall, I thought it was a strong entry in the trilogy. Pretty much required viewing for the Cobra Kai series.

In this movie, you get to see what a crazy guy Terry Silver is, and how extreme the Cobra Kai “No Mercy” philosophy is. Danny's knuckles bleed, and his foot is bruised during training. Terry has no qualms about teaching students to hit the eyes, throat, and groin. All illegal hits. And yet, he puts on a slimy good guy face that makes him hard to look away from.

If you have time today, definitely give this one a watch. Johnny Lawrence was bad, but Terry Silver is truly evil. Plus, there's improved karate scenes, like a better tournament this time. There's no doubt in my mind, Mike Barnes will be back for the Cobra Kai series. We may yet get to see Cobra Kai as evil again! You won't wanna miss it: Check it out!

Robocop 2 (1990):

Robocop 2 (1990):

“RoboCop returns to protect the citizens of old Detroit but faces a deadly challenge when a rogue OCP member secretly creates a new, evil RoboCop 2.”

A new drug called Nuke is in the city, and Robocop has to take out the cult distributing it. The drug dealer turns out to be a kid, and he can't shoot him. When Robocop finally does track down the cult, he's dismembered and out-gunned. This leads to some silly scenes where they re-program Robocop to not be violent (Still not safe for kids!), police bad language, and smoking.

It's a pretty funny Robocop. A good mix of action-comedy. Meanwhile, scientists are creating a new Robocop program: Robocop 2. Unfortunately, the candidates are psychos and murders, not good citizens like Officer Alex Murphy. There's even a lot of debate over if he's company property, or an officer.

This is just good satire and action movie fun. Robocop unites the cops finally, but it's his human side that wins out. He's not just a company machine, and he has free will. It's a pretty fun watch, and ends with a pretty good shootout between Robocop and Robocop 2. Give it a watch, if you have time!

Read my review of Robocop 1 here: https://bit.ly/3A4alSn

Read my review of Robocop 3 here: https://bit.ly/3lULR7c

Raya And The Last Dragon (2021):

Raya And The Last Dragon (2021):

“In a realm known as Kumandra, a re-imagined Earth inhabited by an ancient civilization, a warrior named Raya is determined to find the last dragon.”

Raya re-discovers a dragon (Sisu, The Water Dragon.) when she lets a “friend” borrow and break her Guardian gem, which unleashes a great evil on the kingdoms of Kumandra. Each kingdom is named after a part of the Dragons. Tail, Spine, Heart, and Talon. She travels the apocalyptic landscape on a giant aramadillo hoping to convince the kingdoms to unite their gem pieces and face the evil smoke monsters, the Druun.

The animation is pretty good. Sword fights and chases replace the usual Disney song and dance numbers, so that's nice. But, other than that, it's a pretty forgettable, by-the-numbers Disney story set in another culture. She meets representatives from each of the tribes, and her former friend Naamari. The last person who has to learn to trust is Raya herself.

All in all, this is the epitome of a better watch with snacks. The sprawling landscapes, characters, and sword fights are good. But, I feel like it could have been better if the plot weren't built around a drawn-out Disney moral, and everything else is go to Point A and Point B. It felt like there was more to the story and characters than find the MacGuffin. But, I guess it's just not my demographic.

Young kids should like it. I appreciate that they did something different from a Disney musical. It's a pretty good fantasy adventure. I enjoyed it. But, I definitely needed snacks to keep my attention. It just felt like it could've been more, but was good for what it was. If you have time, watch it with some good snacks!

Coneheads (1993):

Coneheads (1993):

“Aliens with conical crania crash-land on Earth.”

Well, Coneheads was free on Hulu. I figured if there's ever a comedy about seeing through alien eyes, this is it. Beldar and Prymaat come from planet Remulak to conquer Earth, but end up staying as “illegal aliens” after a malfunction. A lot of the humor comes from the way they talk so scientifically. For example, “re-numerating with metallic tender discs.” for “paying in change”; or “consumption of mass quantities” for eating.

Beldar and Prymaat slowly adapt to American life despite being aliens. Beldar is a hard worker, and can succeed at almost any job because his cone or body can interact with machinery. Meanwhile, he has the government chasing him and his family down. Beldar's child, Connie Conehead, was born in America and quickly falls in love with a car mechanic (Chris Farley!) because she can describe in detail all the equipment in his shop! Yes, Connie has normal teen problems and fights with her parents, but is still an alien!

Eventually, Beldar's ship returns for him. But, Connie convinces him to stay in America, because they have a good life. They may look funny and talk strangely, but they are good people once they stop being chased around. It's a great comedy, if you have time. Direct your ocular sensors upon it! (Give it a watch!)

TMNT (2007):

TMNT (2007):

“When the world is threatened by an ancient evil, the four adolescent turtles must reunite and overcome their faults in order to stand against it.”

I have no idea why someone thought it was a good idea to make a Ninja Turtles movie take place after they defeated Shredder. Part of it takes place in Central America. You have hundreds of villains, characters, and plots to choose from in the TMNT universe. What they decided was to use a standard villain named Winters, and slowly introduce Dimension X, while back in NY, the turtles struggle with menial jobs.

Leo disappears to Central America to learn how to be a better leader...or something. Raph is a superhero vigilante called Night Watchman. Mikey becomes a party clown. Donatello lands a job in IT. It's kind of fun...for a one-off joke, not bringing together the whole team for the entire run-time.

Anyway, monsters start appearing in NY thanks to Winters and a Central American tablet which makes a portal appear. Stone soldiers and mutants start attacking. This is just about the only good fight scene we get with all the turtles fighting as a team. The rest of the movie is them rescuing Leo from the monsters.

It does have a few redeeming qualities. There's a fight scene between Raph and Leo. That was pretty good. The voice actors are pretty good. Patrick Stewart is Winters. Chris Evans is Casey Jones. Mako plays Splinter. It's free on Netflix, but absolutely skip this one, since it's trying to set up franchise sequels we know never happened. I think there was a videogame, but otherwise what a waste of some good ideas.

Cryptozoo (2021):

Cryptozoo (2021):

“Cryptozookeepers try to capture a Baku, a dream-eating hybrid creature of legend, and start wondering if they should display these beasts or keep them hidden and unknown.”

Well, I guess it helps to know what you're getting into before you watch a movie. I expected this movie to be bizarre, but I didn't expect it to open with two naked hippies getting viciously attacked by a unicorn with South Park-levels of gore. It's a wild movie! Free on Hulu.

From the hippies, we go to our main protagonist Lauren, a cryptid hunter. It's the 1960s, and she's globe-hopping to save mystical creatures. They save Russian storm birds, a satyr, a medusa, and a guy with a face in his chest (voiced by Michael Cera.), to build a zoo for cryptids...Cryptozoo!

One day, she discovers that the Baku (dream-eater) who helped her with nightmares as a kid, and inspired her quest to become a crypto-zoologist, is being held by the US military. So, she gathers her cryptid friends and quests to save her from them. Thus, the movie turns into a sort of mystical spy epic, with tons of gore as the animals and soldiers are both killed/or captured.

I'm not necessarily against violence in movies, I just think I wasn't prepared to watch an officer get eaten by a South American megaworm. Or goblins get shot, or a hippie to be impaled by a unicorn. The general message seems to be that nature wants animals to be free, not used as weapons or entertainment. The animation is psychedelic and 1960s-inspired, so at least it's never boring. Watch it with some snacks, and you'll have fun.

Princess Mononoke (1997):

Princess Mononoke (1997):

“On a journey to find the cure for a Tatarigami's curse, Ashitaka finds himself in the middle of a war between the forest gods and Tatara, a mining colony. In this quest he also meets San, the Mononoke Hime.”

Prince Ashitaka has to stop an evil demon plague from taking over the forest, and his arm. Meanwhile, there's a war brewing between animals and humans. Some people want to destroy the forest spirit. (Mononoke means “forest spirit”) Some want to destroy the humans, and some want to destroy the animals, and let technology grow unrestrained.

Ashitaka wants to bring balance between nature and humans. But, he's got all these obstacles in his way. Luckily, he gains an unlikely ally in San, the human princess raised by the Wolf Queen. He has to unite the animals and convince them to make peace, if it's even possible. Also, Lady Iboshi and her gun-wielding ladies of Iron City (Tatara) have hired a mercenary monk and others to kill the forest spirit.

Of all Hayao Miyazaki's films, this is definitely the most violent. There's tons of action, blood, and war. But, I feel it's all balanced out by the beauty of the Ghibli art style, and the ecological message. This is the anime I usually recommend to friends who are just getting into Miyazaki, since it's more like traditional anime, with the over-the-top level of action.

Of course, the real hero here is the art. It's all hand-drawn, the movements are all slow and human (As opposed to fast and exaggerated, as in other anime.) ,and it really lets you take in the awe of the forest, animals, and nature. As well as showing the horror of war, and the destruction technology can cause when unrestrained. The more the forest is off-balance, the more the evil plague grows. If you have time, it's a fantastic film. Definitely worth a watch. Check it out!